by Regine Abel
My own mother looked at me with encouraging eyes, sitting on the loveseat with my stepfather Minh. Valena sat on the armchair. Her mate, Zhul, sitting on the armrest, leaned on his arm resting on the backrest behind her. Ghan stood by the floor-to-ceiling window behind the couch, overlooking the backyard and the ryspak orchard in the distance.
I cast a nervous glance at Kamala standing by my side. Our eyes met through our black visors. She winked at me.
“You’ve got this,” she silently mouthed.
Let’s hope I do...
Looking at Larissa and Camelia on my right, their eyes held the same fear that twisted my insides.
I cleared my throat.
“Thank you all for agreeing to meet with us on such short notice,” I said. “Recent events have made it necessary for us to share some sensitive information about ourselves.”
A whole lot of eyebrows shot up in surprise. Except for Mother, Minh, and Ghan’s. Khel cast a suspicious glance at Ghan who remained impassive. Although I knew he wouldn’t have betrayed my trust, it still warmed my heart that he had kept our secret intact.
“In more ways than one, I’m relieved to finally be able to drop this charade. It has been a long time coming anyway. I do not need to remind you that secrets are what keep Veredians safe. We’re here because we implicitly trust all of you not to let anything revealed tonight to be repeated beyond these walls.”
Valena exchanged a confused look with her mate before casting a questioning one at Amalia, who shrugged back her ignorance. Lhor and Khel narrowed their eyes at me.
“Well, here goes nothing,” I said.
I tapped the opening sequence of my armor on the input hidden on the side of my neck. Khel straightened on his seat, his thumb that had been absentmindedly caressing the markings on Amalia’s shoulder stopped its tidal movement. Lhor’s eyes widened.
The internal padding that gave me a broader, more masculine frame, reduced in a disturbing implosion of my silhouette. As my armor shrank around me, the air filled with tension, my audience staring with bated breath. At the corner of my eye, Kamala’s hand rose to disable her own armor, while mine began to unravel.
Valena gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.
“No way...” Zhul whispered.
Lhor gaped while Khel observed with remarkable military discipline. Despite all that, I only had eyes for my niece. She stared at me, lips parted in shock. She clutched her heart, no doubt feeling our blood bond, although she probably didn’t understand what it was. Her slender body trembled while a slew of emotion raced over her features. Eyelids fluttering, she blinked to control her glistening eyes. Khel squeezed her shoulder, and Lhor rubbed her knee.
I needed her to say something. Do something. Anything. As if hearing my inner plea, she pushed up on her legs. I expected a lot of anger from Amalia and a string of curses at first, not this...
“Aun... Aunt Al...Aleina?” she asked in a shaky voice.
My throat worked but felt too tight to swallow. I nodded.
“Y-yes.”
I winced at the synthetic sound of my voice and touched my modulator to disable it.
“Yes,” I repeated, this time with my natural voice, choked by emotion.
Lungs almost too constricted to breathe, I watched her approach me with unsteady steps. Amalia stopped inches from me and cupped my face with trembling hands. Tears pricked my eyes, and I fisted my hands to keep myself from pulling her into my arms. Her gaze followed her fingers as they traced my features, then my markings alongside my shoulders.
“Aunt Aleina,” she whispered again.
And then she was holding me in a bruising hug. Giving in at last, I embraced the only surviving child of my oldest sister. I buried my face in her wild mane and allowed my tears to roll freely down my cheeks. My heart swelled to bursting to finally hold her in my arms, skin to skin, no longer forbidden to let her know how much I loved her.
The Goddess only knew how long we held each other. When we finally let go, it was my turn to caress her face. Amalia’s gaze held none of the condemnation I expected. Only love, wonder, and stunned joy.
“Your mother spoke so often of you. I dreamt for years of meeting you at last, and then it killed me not to be able to tell you who I was,” I said, through happy tears.
She was my niece, but I thought of her like a daughter. On the day my Korlethean had informed me of Sevina’s impending death in the breeding compound, I swore to look after her daughter like my own.
“Mama spoke of you all the time, too! Especially how tall and badass you were,” she said, sniffling.
My face heated. Khel’s tall frame approached us from behind Amalia. Our gazes met, his bemused.
“So much for ever getting you to share that insane technology that allowed you to open walls with your hands,” he said, sounding both amused and sad.
I snorted and everyone else laughed, easing the tension in the air.
Turning to Kamala, I gestured for her to come closer. It was strange to see her this intimidated; she always acted so tough and fearless. But I could relate.
“Amalia, this is also your aunt. Kamala is my half-sister, obviously on my father’s side.”
They hugged, too, and exchanged a few words of affection. At twenty-eight, Kamala was eight years younger than I, only three more than Amalia. I felt almost sorry for Khel and Lhor once they realized how much my niece and my sister had in common. They’d soon have their hands full.
Turning to Larissa and Camelia I bid them to approach. Amalia eyed them with curiosity, rubbing at her heart again.
“The clenching sensation you’re feeling in your chest is the blood bond,” I said to her.
“Blood bond?” she asked.
“A Korlethean trait, especially strong in second generations like you. It manifests whenever you’re in the presence of a blood relative. The closer the bond, the stronger the sensation.”
Eyes wide, Amalia’s head jerked toward the two nervous females.
“Amalia, meet Larissa and Camelia Valis, your half-sisters.”
CHAPTER 6
Ghan
I was still reeling from the revelations of the past two days. Even now, sitting in Khel’s office, my mind kept replaying Lee’s unexpected embrace and that kiss... Goddess almighty! I couldn’t reconcile Lee and Aleina as one person, as the most perfect female I ever could have dreamt of. Strong, fearless, loyal, selfless, and loving on top of her incredible beauty—all of which truly made her a goddess among females.
And she wanted me.
That’s pure insanity.
Every single male in the First Division would throw themselves at her feet to earn her favor. Why would she even consider an ugly beast such as I? Everything about me was excessively wrong: too big, too tall, too ugly, too grumpy, too socially challenged, and above all, too Tainted.
That last one alone killed any chance we could have had.
I shifted on the couch, once more indulging in Lhor’s favorite spot while he glared at me in feigned outrage. I tried to refocus on Khel talking while desperately trying to ignore that Lee was just down the hall, re-bonding with the children as their great-aunt as well as introducing them to their two new aunts, Camelia and Larissa.
“How did we not figure this out?” Khel asked, sitting at the edge of his desk.
“How could we have?” Lhor asked. “Their performance as males was flawless. Although, pretending to be some kind of cyborgs certainly helped disguise any mistakes as odd behaviors from A.I.”
“We believed it because it’s what we wanted to see,” I said. “Who among us would want to believe the most powerful military force in the Quadrant, and maybe even in the entire known galaxy, would be exclusively made of females?”
Lhor chuckled.
“That’s got to burn,” he said.
“No.” Khel shook his head, looking glum. “Burn is any time you find out another army is more powerful than you. Finding out our closest ally in the biggest challenge
Lhor frowned. “Amalia would so kick your ass if she heard you say that. By the way, why is that a problem?”
“Seriously?” Khel asked, rubbing his face with his palm. “The First Division has spent the past three years thinking of Veredians as beautiful, delicate females that have been abused by ruthless vermin and that we, Xelixians, had the honor of freeing and protecting them with our swords, our courage, and our blood. Now we find out more than half of them could spank us with their eyes closed in a fair fight.”
Lhor chuckled again, still failing to see the issue.
“So it does burn,” he mocked.
“No, Lhor, it means trouble,” I said.
He gave me a confused look.
“Remember your Confirmation Ceremony when the Guldans attacked?”
He nodded.
“When Amalia went to defend Kamala, you got hurt because you were too distracted with making sure she was fine to focus on battling your opponent.”
Lhor’s lips parted as understanding dawned on him. He sobered.
“When Kamala removed Lee’s armor, then her own, to tend Lee’s wounds, I witnessed the warriors’ reactions to discovering that all Tuureans were, in fact, Veredian females.” Images of Aleina clinging to my hand as she bled out haunted me. “I saw the expressions on their faces. Something has changed, and it will need to be addressed before our next battle or things might get ugly.”
“She looks so much like Amalia and Maheva,” Khel said wistfully. “It must have been something seeing that face and those eyes revealed to you.”
I snorted.
You have no idea, my friend.
“Lee was willing to die to keep that secret,” I said. “That’s when I realized maybe they weren’t what I had imagined.”
“What had you imagined?” Lhor asked.
“I thought they were the original Veredian survivors disfigured by radiation and augmented with technology, initially to replace failing organs,” I said. “That made them cyborg enough that gender didn’t matter.”
“Instead, you ended up face-to-face with beautiful Kamala,” Khel said, with a suggestive tone.
I waved a dismissive hand. “I told you, I have no romantic interest in Kamala.”
“Yeah, you wouldn’t,” Lhor said. “Observing her tonight, mask off, she reminds me too much of our own little mischievous Amalia. Lee, on the other hand, would be more your type.”
My heart leaped, and I struggled to maintain a neutral expression.
Khel’s eyebrows shot up. That thought clearly hadn’t crossed his mind since finding out Lee’s gender.
“She’s also closer to your age,” Khel said, “by my calculation, only one year younger.”
“Oh, this is good!” Lhor grinned and leaned back in his armchair before crossing his legs. “I did notice she was eyeing you something fierce tonight!”
My stupid face heated.
“Oh Goddess!” Khel exclaimed. “She wasn’t cock-blocking you but defending her territory!”
“What?” Lhor asked, eyes bulging.
As he rarely came aboard the Tuurean ship, he’d never witnessed Lee interfering whenever one of the Veredians showed interest in me. In light of recent events, Khel’s wild guess rang as plausible, if not true. But I couldn’t entertain that possibility.
“You’re both idiots,” I grumbled, getting up and heading for the door. “I must depart.”
“Running away?” Lhor teased. “I noticed you didn’t say you weren’t interested in Lee.”
“I dare you to go tell Lee you think she has the hots for me, like your mate likes to say,” I retorted over my shoulder, smirking at him cringing.
* * *
My eyes studied Minh as he pored over the results of my latest tests. I didn’t need to look down while I put my uniform back on, my hands moving mechanically to perform the familiar task. He hid his thoughts well, not that it mattered. The pain had receded in the past couple of days, the sliver of adrenalin generated during battle no doubt helping. That didn’t mean remission though—you didn’t naturally heal from the Taint.
Minh put his datapad down on his desk and instead of sitting in his usual chair, he circled around his desk and came to sit next to me on the second patient chair. I raised an eyebrow and he smiled.
“Your results are as expected,” Minh said. “Do you require additional pain killers?”
“No, thank you. I’m good for now,” I said. “The pain is tolerable, and I do not want to develop resistance this early on.”
Minh nodded, but he kept staring with a bit of an expectant spark in his eyes. Feeling self-conscious, I shifted in my seat. It creaked under my weight. Standard furniture always felt flimsy beneath me.
“You know you can discuss anything with me, son,” Minh said with a gentle voice. “As your physician, anything you tell me doesn’t leave this room.”
I fought the urge to scratch my shoulder, a nervous tick I’d gotten under control years ago but that had resurfaced of late. Indeed, I had many questions for Minh, but it shamed me to ask them, especially since he would know what... who prompted these questions.
When the Tuureans revealed their true identities earlier, Minh and Maheva had not been surprised. Maheva, I already knew, but Minh I had not expected. Then again, it made sense since they worked closely with him to solve their own fertility issues and cooperated in helping to find a cure for the Taint.
I cleared my throat.
“Considering my current state, what are the odds of a female lessening my symptoms?” I asked, my cheeks feeling like they would burst into flames any minute.
He took a second to answer, choosing his words carefully. I tensed, suspecting my hopes wouldn’t be met.
“You are not a Geminate so you cannot be cured, like Khel and Lhor were. At your stage of the disease, only a second generation Veredian can reduce your Taint. But any female that produces oxytocin, whether she’s first generation Veredian or Xelixian, will be able to prolong your life by at least a few decades.”
My heart sank. “So I would linger in my current state, with all my current symptoms?”
He sighed, his eyes filling with compassion.
“It is a terrible thing for you to contemplate decades of living with this constant pain, but we are getting so close to a cure, Ghan. If you entered into a relationship now, it would give us the time to find one so you won’t be in pain forever.”
I waved a dismissive hand. “Pain isn’t the issue. I...” My hand found its way to my shoulder and scratched an itch I didn’t even feel. “As you know, I have many of the side effects of the Taint,” I said.
Our eyes met and, to my relief, understanding shone in his. I wouldn’t have to humiliate myself further by going into details.
“Do you have anything to help with that? Should I need it, I mean...”
Goddess, this is embarrassing.
I fisted my hands on my knees to keep them from wandering back to my shoulder. Storming out of Minh’s office and hiding my shame in my quarters never felt so tempting.
Minh sighed again and shook his head. I had already known what the answer would be, and yet, the sense of loss was devastating.
“There is medication for your condition, but it doesn’t work when triggered by the Taint.”
“I didn’t think so,” I said, glad my voice didn’t reveal the extent of my sorrow. “Thank you for your time, Minh. I must depart now. Other duties await me.”
I rose to my feet and turned to leave. Minh imitated me.
“Wait, son. That’s not a reason to give up on her.”
The air rushed out of me.
Does he know? Did she confide in him?
“She’s loved you for years...” Minh said.
“She?” I asked, playing dumb.
He gave me an annoyed look. “Aleina is my daughter-in-law. I’ve watched her pine after you in silence, shackled by her duty to her people. And tonight, I’ve seen the way you looked at each other. So I know she opened up to you.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I muttered. “The problem remains the same.”
“She won’t care, Ghan.”
“Of course, she will care!” I hissed through my teeth. “She may not think so at first, but with time, resentment will set in.”
“If your roles were reversed, would you resent her for something beyond her control?” he snapped.
Of course not.
I glared at him. “Goodbye, Minh.”
Turning on my heels, I headed for the door. It swished open before me.
“Remember your own words to Khel,” Minh called out.
I looked at him over my shoulder.
“Don’t let pride blind you to what truly matters.”
I flinched, the words striking a nerve. With a final nod, I walked out.
* * *
Leaning against the wall of the interrogation room, I struggled to focus on the task at hand. The throb of the Taint paled in comparison to the torment of Aleina’s presence. She stood in full armor, hands clasped behind her back, staring down at Tayana, the silver-haired Veredian assassin.
The armor helped me cope with my inner turmoil. Looking at her beautiful face turned my brain to mush. But worse still, that twice-damned tingling the minute she removed it drove me insane. I recognized it for what it was: the Tuning. I’d heard of it but never given it much credence, until now. My soulmate stood within arms’ reach, she’d made her interest known, and here I was denying us.
Without a doubt, pride played a role in my reluctance, but she also deserved so much better than I could ever offer her.
Yet, I’m her soulmate.
Which implied, I was the best thing that could happen to her, and her to me.
That almost made me snort in derision. I was the worst thing that could happen to anyone. Yet, even as that thought crossed my mind, the disappointed face of Amalia loomed before my mind’s eye. She’d give me an earful and threaten to ‘kick my ass’ if she ever heard me speak that way. Another wave of love for my little sister warmed my heart even as I stole another glance at her aunt.
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