by Regine Abel
“What the f…?”
I barely managed to repress the curse word. My children took far too much pleasure learning my countless swear words and sticking them into every sentence they could. My mates, mouth gaping, stared back at me with the same shocked expression no doubt painted on my own features. Our children, though…
Rhad flashed his adorable dimples at me with a smug smile. Vahl looked at his Gem with pride while Zhara’s tiny hands failed to hide her own dimples as they covered her mischievous grin.
“Did you do that?” I asked Rhad, disbelieving.
He scrunched his face the way I often did when caught causing trouble, shrugged, then cast a wary look at his fathers.
“A shrug? That’s all you have to say for yourself?” I asked, feeling bewildered.
“Mama tickled!” His defensive tone held no remorse, but a tinge of a taunt.
“I thought you were a Kinetic, like Lee,” Khel said, his crihnin further wrinkled by confusion.
“No, not like Auntie Lee,” Zhara said, shaking her head in that exaggerated way children sometimes did. She often spoke on her younger brother’s behalf since his speech, although insanely advanced for a toddler his age, was still limited. “Rhad makes things go poof!” she added, throwing her arms up in the air.
Still blown away, I thought back on my son’s ability and had to admit I had never seen him morph things like Aunt Aleina did and Mama used to. He had moved objects from one place to another and damaged others by applying kinetic pressure on them. I always assumed it was only because he hadn’t mastered his ability yet to sculpt them in a refined manner.
I took a step closer to my family. Rhad locked eyes with me, his dimples dipping with the mischievous grin blossoming on his little mouth. Inching forward, he placed his tiny hands on the floor. I gave him a warning look and pointed a threatening finger at him.
“Don’t you dare! No teleporting Mama around!” I said. First, it made my stomach queasy. Second, it freaked the living daylights out of me. “I said no!” I added when he hesitated.
“Do it!” Zhara said, jumping on Khel’s lap.
He frowned, ready to admonish her, but Vahl took us all by surprise.
“No, Zha,” Vahl said sternly before turning a severe gaze towards his Gem. “Don’t do that to Mama.”
“Why?” Zhara pouted, a challenging glare in her eyes.
“He could hurt Mama.” Vahl said.
“I won’t,” Rhad said.
“He won’t,” Zhara said.
Both children had spoken simultaneously.
Vahl slipped off of Lhor’s lap and walked to his Gem still sitting on the carpeted floor.
“You don’t want to, but you could. You’re still too little,” Vahl said with the incredibly gentle tone he always reserved for his Core. “We don’t hurt Mama. Never hurt Mama.”
“Never,” Rhad said, shaking his head, a chastised expression on his face.
My throat tightened watching my little warrior taking on his role of protector. Vahl still struggled with his fierce instincts of aggression and that made him even more protective of me. His previous urge to hurt his sire had scarred his young psyche.
Vahl pointed his index finger at Rhad’s face, who smiled, all sadness forgotten. Vahl poked his finger into his Gem’s dimple, like he used to do to Lhor. It had become a sign of affection from Vahl to his siblings and to indicate a truce or that all was well. Turning to his twin sister, he walked over to her and rubbed the back of his hand against her cheek until she finally smiled. He poked his finger into her dimple as well, making her giggle.
“Pokey-poke,” Rhad said, watching his older siblings.
Khel and I exchanged a look over our children’s heads. The pride, love, and worry shining in his eyes mirrored what I felt in my heart. Removing his finger, Vahl turned and walked toward me, his hand extended. I met him halfway. He grabbed my hand and led me to Lhor, coaxing me to sit on his Papa’s lap. My Second Mate wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled my nape.
I cupped Vahl’s face in my hand. “You’re a great protector, just like your Daddy.”
Vahl beamed, nodding his head.
“I will be a great general like Daddy, pretty and smart like Papa, and big and strong like Uncle Ghan!” he said.
“I’m not pretty!” Lhor mumbled.
“Yes, you are!” Rhad said with his baby voice.
Khel and I chuckled, expecting Zhara to chime in and fuss over her sire’s beauty but instead, she stared at Vahl with a distraught expression on her face.
“I don’t want you to be like Uncle Ghan,” she said, her voice trembling.
Shocked, we all stared at her.
“Why?” Khel asked, a look of concern marring his noble features as he caressed her puffy hair.
“He’s going to leave us.”
Her eyes glistened as she pressed herself against Khel.
Lhor and I exchanged a confused look, then I glanced at Khel who seemed as baffled as we were.
“Uncle Ghan is only going on a mission, like Daddy used to,” Lhor said. “He will come back.”
“No,” she insisted. “He’s leaving and never coming back, like Banar.”
My stomach dropped. Banar was a bhirrat we had found last year in the forest. Old and injured, the herbivorous creature had been unable to care for itself. Zhara had healed its wounds and asked that we keep it for the time it had left. She had known it would die of old age in the near future.
Why is she comparing it to Ghan?
“Why do you say that, sweetheart?”
“Uncle Ghan’s light is getting weak.”
“His light?” Khel asked.
Zhara sniffled. “Yes. Your light is bright. Mama’s light, too. It’s so pretty. And Papa’s, too. But Uncle Ghan’s is pale and sad.”
“I think she sees our auras or even our souls.” Awe filled Lhor’s voice.
“It’s like when Vahl hurt the butterfly. Its light was leaving. I caught it and put it back in.”
“Can you do that for Ghan, too?” Khel asked.
She started crying and shook her head. Vahl fisted his tiny hands. He hated seeing his twin upset. Rhad caressed his hand, soothing him the same way Lhor used to soothe Khel’s anger.
“I don’t want him to leave, Daddy. I don’t want him to die.”
Khel hugged her. Holding her against in chest, he kissed the top of her head, a sad but resigned expression on his face.
He knew…
Of course, Ghan would have told him of his Taint. Our eyes met, his guilt shining through. My gaze hardened.
I wasn’t losing my brother. My children weren’t losing their uncle.
* * *
My mates dried my body, their gestures affectionate as we ended our shower. As per Xelixian custom, I had washed my mates and they had shared the task of washing me in what was considered a purifying ritual. We hadn’t spoken much after calming our daughter and tucking in the children for the night. Lhor helped me don a diaphanous, white nightgown. The short hem tickled my thighs as I sat on the bed, my back resting against Lhor’s chest. He brushed my long curls to the side before gently massaging my neck. A moan rumbled in my throat, and my chin dipped down, resting against my chest.
Khel’s large, calloused hands wrapped around one of my ankles. Through the curtain of my eyelids, I watched him settle at the other end of the bed before he launched into a slow, mind-numbing foot massage. I enjoyed both of my mates’ ministrations, my sighs of contentment the only sound in the room.
Fully relaxed, I snuggled against Lhor who wrapped his arms around me, while Khel moved on to my other foot. I stared at him until he made eye contact with me.
“I’m not letting my brother die,” I said softly.
Lhor tensed behind me but remained silent. He didn’t concern me… much. Having been at death’s door himself barely three years ago, I doubted he’d begrudge me any attempt to save Ghan. My First Mate, however, represented a much different challenge. Khel h
eld my gaze, his expression unreadable. His fingers didn’t stop their divine pressure at all the right spots on the sole of my foot.
“He has Lee,” Khel said calmly after an eternity.
Okay, he’s not freaking out yet. That’s good. Right?
“She can’t cure him,” I said, in the same peaceful tone. “She can’t even make him better.”
He acknowledged my statement with a slow nod of the head.
“You knew, didn’t you?” I whispered.
“Yes,” Khel said, looking at my foot as he massaged the back of my ankle. “He told me Minh only gives him a couple more months to live.”
Lhor shuddered behind my back.
“Goddess,” he whispered, “he must be in excruciating pain.”
I looked at him over my shoulder, and the haunted look in his eyes made my chest tighten. It had taken a while for me to coax out of him how much he had suffered in the last stages of his Taint when we almost lost him to the disease.
“He is,” Khel admitted. “Painkillers are mostly ineffective now.”
A lump lodged itself in my throat, and my eyes pricked. Lhor’s arms tightened around me. He nuzzled my nape in an attempt to comfort me. Yet, I believed he also sought comfort for himself.
“I can help him,” I said, hating the trembling of my voice. “I can make him better.”
Khel’s eyes snapped back up to lock with mine. Although his face remained impassive, a nervous tick jumped at his temple.
I licked my lips and swallowed painfully, fearing his wrath. But like with Lhor, I couldn’t lose Ghan or let him endure eternal agony needlessly.
“My season starts in six weeks.”
Khel frowned, and his hands stilled on my foot. Panicked words tumbled out of my mouth, hoping to have a chance to make my case before he went berserk.
“Ghan could drink from my wrist like Lhor did. No touching, groping, or weird stuff!”
Khel’s frown deepened.
“The concentration of my oxytocin should be enough to revert his Taint to a tolerable threshold. So when he gets together with Lee, she’ll be able to keep him alive without him being in pain… He’s our Ghan.”
I finally shut up and waited for my mate to lose his shit.
Khel continued to stare at me in silence. My heart pounded in my ears. Even Lhor’s gentle caress up and down my arm failed to soothe me.
Say something, damn it!
His throat worked, then he lowered his eyes and went back to kneading the sole of my foot.
“Okay,” he said.
I blinked and my jaw dropped. Eyes bulging, I stared at him while he remained focused on his task. A glance over my shoulder confirmed Lhor, too, was gaping disbelievingly at his Gem.
“O-Okay as in… you… you’re fine with it?” My stuttering didn’t even begin to express the depth of my confusion.
“Yes,” Khel answered, without lifting his head.
“What the fuck?” Lhor muttered.
My head jerked toward him. Lhor hardly ever used vulgar curse words. Only the proper—make that stuck up—curses involving Gharah. Khel and I had the potty mouths… especially me.
Khel finally looked up at his Gem.
“You gave me all kinds of shit and Grumpy gets a free pass?” Lhor asked, offended.
“Hey!” I said, elbowing him.
The last thing I needed was for him to rile up Khel and make him change his mind.
“Ow!” Lhor oomphed. “I’m okay with your decision. But I’d still like to know what the fuck?”
“She was in love with you. She’s not in love with him.”
That shut him up. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, then turned to me. I smiled and his expression softened.
“She’s still in love with me,” Lhor grumbled.
My smile broadened and I rubbed my nose against his before facing Khel. The look in my eyes must have expressed my unspoken question. He sighed, let go of my foot and moved closer to us.
“I am a jealous bastard,” Khel said, taking my hands in his. “The thought of any male other than Lhor drinking from you makes my venom glands burn. But three years ago, that jealousy almost killed my soul, my very heart,” he said casting a brief glance at Lhor. “It’s your body. You have the right to do with it as you please. When we almost lost Lhor, Ghan had told me not to let pride and insecurities blind me to what mattered the most. I ignored his warning then and almost lost both of you. I’m not making that same mistake twice.”
Scooting closer, Khel cupped my face in his hand with that incredibly gentle care that always made me feel so precious and cherished.
“Your happiness is all that matters to me, Falihna. You love him. He’s my best friend and Lhor’s favorite bully,” he said, casting a mocking look at his Gem, “and our children adore him. Just make sure not to let him drink when I’m around, or I won’t be held responsible for what happens. And if Lee loses it, I’m not getting in the middle.”
“I love you,” I croaked out, the words choking in my throat.
The look in his eyes made my heart melt. Khel’s love for me never ceased to humble me. I didn’t know what I had done for the Goddess to bless me with such devoted males, but she had my eternal gratitude. Our lips met, familiar warmth spreading in my belly.
Lhor’s chuckle rose behind me as his hand caressed my hair.
“Any chance you could make your oxytocin taste foul when he drinks?” Lhor asked.
Khel and I snorted, breaking our kiss to laugh. I gave Lhor a friendly tap.
“Silly!”
“That’s a valid question,” Khel intervened. “Can you?”
I stared at him, disbelieving, while Lhor burst out laughing.
Khel grinned.
* * *
“So you and big old Grumps, huh?” I said in a teasing tone as we walked through the woods on the property.
Aleina’s skin flushed, and she partially hid her face behind her hair. Its shade reminded me so much of my mother’s that my chest hurt. But any resemblance between my aunt and her sister stopped there. Mama had taken after her sire while Aleina had taken after Nana Maheva. Aleina and I looked like siblings. We probably could pass for twins if seen from a distance. Her face held a more mature edge, but also a more serious, almost harder line no doubt brought on by the heavy responsibilities she’d been shouldering for years.
She shrugged, her gesture uncertain. Interacting with Aunt Aleina instead of Admiral Lee was quite the mind fuck. Her body language, even the tone of her voice, broadcast how vulnerable she felt without her disguise. The tool of her powerful persona had also become a crutch over the years. Where Lee could make you feel intimidated or protected, Aunt Aleina made you want to hug her and say everything would be all right.
Riiight. She’d kick my ass if I tried.
The last thing she needed—or would welcome—was anyone pointing out how her insecurities shone through.
“We’re not together,” she said in a casual tone.
“Oh please! The way you two were eye-fu…”
The crude expression died in my throat when her head turned sharply toward me, and her eyes leveled me with a stern glare. I scrunched my face and cleared my throat, properly chastised. While my Nana let me get away with plenty, Mama had not approved of my cussing. And it appeared, now that she had revealed herself, that Aunt Aleina intended to rectify the flaws in my education.
“The way you’ve been looking at each other, there’s clearly something going on!”
She cast a sideways glance at me. The sadness and confusion it held threw me. Her hand wandered to her nape, and she rubbed the back of her neck absentmindedly. I waited patiently for her to answer, the silence only interrupted by the chirping of birds in the trees and the wind bristling through the evergreen leaves. Thanks to its two suns, Xelix Prime had a single season: summer.
“He’s my soulmate,” Aleina said, matter-of-fact. “I felt the Tuning. I think he feels it, too, but for some reason he does
n’t seem to want to be with me.”
I smiled, having suspected they might be attuned based on the looks they exchanged.
“Ghan is a grump and socially challenged,” I said, sympathy flooding me.
My big brother struggled to accept any show of affection, having been deprived of it for most of his life. I believed he feared leaving himself open to being hurt. Only my daughter had managed to make him let his guard down. I couldn’t begin to imagine the challenge Aunt Aleina would face getting him to play naughty.
Ugh, bad visual!
“Don’t forget that he’s Tainted.”
Aleina looked at me, an outraged expression on her face.
“Relax, Auntie,” I said mockingly. “I mated two and adopted one, so you should know I’m the last one to discriminate against Tainted.”
She pursed her lips but didn’t argue. I hooked my arm around hers and led her toward the clearing near the treehouse Khel, his late younger brother, and Lhor had built in their youth. Our children were still too young to be allowed to play there but at the rate they were growing, it would happen sooner than later. I loved the scent of fresh earth and of the wildflowers that grew in the vicinity.
“When I claimed Lhor, he refused to accept that I could want him,” I said, remembering the troubled times we had faced. “We had almost lost him to the Taint, and he believed I only offered to take him as Second Mate out of pity and desperation.”
Aunt Aleina’s jaw dropped and she stared at me with rounded eyes.
“Do not let Ghan’s cold and confident demeanor fool you. Tainted males spend their entire lives being indirectly told and shown that they are less than nothing and unworthy of a female’s attention. You’re not only beautiful, you’re also fearless and the all kinds of badass leader of the Tuureans.” I grinned at her embarrassed expression. “The entire First Division was drooling over Kamala despite thinking she was a robot, but now they’re all fanning themselves over you.”
“Oh Goddess!”
I burst out laughing at her horrified expression, but quickly sobered. Stopping in the middle of the clearing, I faced her. She tensed, sensing our conversation would be taking a more serious turn.
“Ghan just turned thirty-seven. By Xelixian standards, it’s very old for a Tainted,” I said, my voice as grim as the emotions coursing through me. “He’s running out of a time.”