Twist of Fate (Veredian Chronicles Book 4)

by Regine Abel

  While we still hadn’t brought up the subject of adoption to Lenora, the clever child had realized where things were headed and had given us clear signs of her willingness. The first homework assistance request had been her initiative. Aleina had been more than happy to accept. When she first asked me to teach her how to fight, my mate had taken offense. Lenora, wise little thing that she is, had placated her by saying she wanted to learn Xelixian techniques to go with the Tuurean techniques the Sisters would show her anyway as part of her Warrior training.

  Technically, Lenora was still too young to start combat training. Veredians usually didn’t start them before age seven, but this was my daughter… soon to be. And so, we had begun her training. As a Warrior, she already showed innate aptitudes that should prove very impressive in the future. We turned it into a family activity, matching it with my sparring times with Aleina. My mate and I had both agreed to never duel each other, but training together would be fine.

  Tonight though, there would be no training.

  Once I’d concluded my outstanding tasks, I returned to my females in Lenora’s room, which she shared with three other children. We tucked her in for the night as had become our routine before returning to our quarters. We’d been discussing for a while how we would annex one of the rooms near Aleina’s quarters, or select a new section of the ship to build our family suite with a private room for Lenora.

  After returning to our quarters, we showered together; another ritual I would never tire of. Once dried, I led her by the hand back to the bedroom. My mate didn’t protest, knowing my love of cuddling with her naked, feeling every inch of her skin against mine. In private, I wanted nothing between us. As soon as we reached the center of the room, I pulled her into my embrace, reveling once more in our closeness.

  She leaned in to me, but even then, tension wouldn’t leave her shoulders. I could almost hear her thinking while she continued to explore scenarios of what could possibly go wrong tomorrow. This only convinced me to proceed with my plan.

  Leaning forward, I kissed her. Lips parting, she granted me access, allowing me to savor the sweet taste of her. Even now, Aleina was in conquest mode, taking more than giving, attempting to take control of the kiss I had initiated. The back of my hands caressed a path down the markings from her shoulders to her wrists. Her moan of pleasure transformed into a choked cry of surprise when, turning my palms around, I clasped a pair of magnetic shackles around each of her wrists.

  Breaking the kiss, she pulled away from me and looked, disbelieving, at the metal bracelets binding her. No chain connected these silver bracelets, which allowed greater control over the captive.

  “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” she hissed, her markings darkening not from arousal but from the feral temper of her lingering season.

  I smiled watching Aleina slap her right hand over the left bracelet, not doubt intending to use her ability to remove it. When nothing happened, her head snapped toward me, eyes wide and lips parted in shock.

  “Seriously, love? You think I would have used shackles a kinetic can remove?”

  My teasing tone seemed to irritate her further. Knowing my mate, she was about to charge me and try to kick my butt. That wouldn’t do.

  “Arms stretched,” I said.

  Obeying my vocal command, the shackles forced Aleina’s arms to stretch horizontally on each side of her body.

  “GHAN!”

  Ignoring her outraged scream, I issued the second command.

  “Immobilize.”

  The shackles blinked as they sent a neural signal through my mate’s body, effectively paralyzing her from the neck down.

  “What is going on?” she demanded through clenched teeth.

  “Me teaching you to let go,” I said, caressing her cheek.

  She tried to lean away from my touch but I didn’t allow it.

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “You are always trying to control everything, all the time, even the things you can’t or that are frankly not yours to handle. You’re making yourself sick with worry, and it’s taking a toll. You can’t even let your mate kiss you without trying to take over.”

  “I’m not submissive, Xelixian. If that’s what you want, you’ve got the wrong female.”

  I chuckled and shook my head.

  “I don’t need you submissive, my love. I just need you to let go. It’s okay to just enjoy the moment, to let someone else be in charge or carry the burden.”

  “I know that!” she bit back.

  “Knowing and doing are two completely different things,” I countered. “I held you in my arms a few minutes ago, and you weren’t here with me. You were thinking of the mission. On all the different ways it could go wrong because you won’t be at every raid. Tell me I’m wrong?”

  She swallowed hard, but quickly crushed the embarrassment creeping on her face. She lifted her chin in defiance.

  “Only an irresponsible leader wouldn’t worry about the next mission!”

  I cupped one of her perky breasts in my palm and teased the taut little nub with my thumb. Her breath caught in her throat. Circling around Aleina, I let my hand roam over her, smiling at the goosebumps that covered her skin.

  “Do you think Khel will be absentmindedly making love to his mate tonight, because he’ll be too worried about the million different ways I or the First Division could mess up tomorrow?”

  “Of course not!” she snapped as if I had said something beyond stupid.

  “Indeed, he won’t. Because he trusts us to know what we’re supposed to do. He trusts our experience to guide us if the unexpected occurs. He trusts that we prepared as much as could reasonably be done. Why can’t you do the same?”

  “I trust you!”

  I stopped in front of her, my gaze boring into hers.

  “Don’t you trust your girls?”

  “What kind of stupid question is that?”

  Her nostrils flared, and her chest heaved with anger.

  “If you trust them, why are you so worked up? Why are you so stressed? You didn’t behave this way in any of our previous raids. But then, you were leading those raids. Tomorrow, you’ll only be raiding three fortresses while others lead the charge elsewhere. So I ask you again, don’t you trust your girls?”

  “Yes. I. Trust. Them!” she spat out. “It has nothing do with trust! I worry for my Sisters. I’ve devoted my life to keeping them safe and…”

  “And what?” I challenged. “You were also worried sick about leaving Amalia with Khel and Lhor when you first found her. You were terrified at the thought of Valena living with her mate in Xelhen without the First Division. You are panicking about the meet-and-greets because you won’t be there.”

  I held her face and kissed her forehead.

  “You were there on Axios, and yet you were the one that almost became a casualty. You being there doesn’t guarantee nothing will go wrong.”

  Still staring into her eyes, I massaged the back of her neck and her shoulders.

  “Do you realize that you are mentally doing the same thing you yelled at me and the First Division for doing? I put myself in your way during battle to protect you. You’re trying to put yourself everywhere to protect them.”

  Her eyes widened in horror, understanding finally dawning on her.

  “I know that you trust and respect your girls, just like I trust and respect you. It’s hard not getting in the way of those you love. But you have to, like I had to. Let go, my love.”

  The fight seemed to bleed out of her, and I resumed circling around her, my hands roaming over every perfect curve of her sculpted body, my fingers tracing the defined lines of her muscles. My mate didn’t have the usual soft, delicate constitution of most females I had seen. Even now, she found herself too masculine because of Lee’s persona that had become a part of her and because of the way frequent and hard training had shaped her body.

  She didn’t see how beautiful she was to my eyes. Her muscles weren’t
bulky or bulging, merely well defined. But despite being well-toned, everything about her screamed female, from the graceful neck, the soft slant of her shoulders, the flaring of her hips, the long, shapely legs, the round but firm cheeks of her buttocks, and those delectable perky breasts. There was nothing masculine about my female. She was a warrior goddess.

  My goddess.

  “How do you let go?” she asked, sounding defeated.

  Stopping behind her, I wrapped my arms around her and pressed my chest against her back. She leaned her head back onto my shoulder.

  “By reminding yourself of all the times they amazed you on the field, in a time of crisis, or any other time,” I said, brushing my lips alongside her markings from the crook of her neck down the slope of her shoulder. “By listing all the reasons why you admire and respect them, and why they were the right choice to begin with.”

  She moaned softly, relaxing further.

  “I can try to do that,” she whispered. “I will try.”

  Gripping her hair, careful not to hurt her, I tilted Aleina’s head back and kissed her, our tongues mingling. My hand found her breasts again, and gently fondled each one in turn, pinching and rolling her nipples between my fingers.

  Her moan deepened, taking on a hungrier edge and her skin warmed against mine. I would never tire of my female’s responsiveness to my touch. It still baffled me how a gruff, unattractive male like me could have earned the love of someone like her. Unable to resist, my hand released her breast and traced a path down her flat stomach to the apex of her legs. She shivered as my index finger circled her wet folds. My blood rushed to my groin.

  “Release me,” she murmured urgently against my lips.

  Goddess, how I wanted to. But not yet. We still had a few more things to work through. I stroked her a couple more times before removing my hand and licking her essence off my finger. Her eyes darkened as they watched me circling back in front of her. She licked her lips as I stood before her, my arousal plain to see.

  “I would love nothing more, my mate. But we need to talk about something else first.”

  She blinked, a confused frown wrinkling her forehead.

  “Why are you punishing yourself and your mother for her past?”

  As expected, all warmth left her gaze. Had her body not been immobilized, she’d be one big knot of tension and repressed anger. This late in her season, she should have had better control of her emotions. It spoke volumes of the depth of her distress on that topic.

  “I’m not punishing anyone. My problems with my mother are none of your business.”

  I stared at her, keeping my expression neutral and my voice calm.

  “You have been torturing yourself from the moment you discovered Mercy’s existence. Then you’ve been whipping your mother for having loved Gruuk and hating yourself for it.”

  “That’s not true!”

  “You think I don’t see you, my mate? The rage, the guilt, and then the haunted look in your eyes every time you think about it or someone mentions Gruuk or your mother.”

  “How could she love him?” she shouted, giving in to her anger.

  “How could she not?” I asked calmly.

  That took the wind out of her sails as she stared at me, eyes bulging and lips parted in shock.

  “You saw the expression on his face in that recording as he addressed your mother,” I said, matter-of-fact. “Anyone with eyes could see that he genuinely loved her. You grew up on that ship. You told me of the horrible males that worked there. How could she not fall in love with the one male—handsome to boot—who looked at her that way when everyone else was a monster? He was all she knew. He protected her and her offspring. Of course, she would love him.”

  Jaw clenched, eyes glistening with repressed tears, she shook her head in denial.

  “Why such anger?” I asked, genuinely baffled. Try as I might, the root cause of her pain still eluded me. “You are far too rational not to understand why someone in her situation might have responded the way she did. Why does it hurt you so much?”

  Averting her eyes, she pressed her lips together while tears fell freely down her cheeks. I hated seeing her in so much pain. Cupping her face in my hands, I gently forced her to look at me.

  “Talk to me, love. Let me help you.”

  For a moment, I thought she wouldn’t cooperate, and then the dam burst.

  “She hated my father,” she spat out, angrily. “She hated him so much she said good riddance when he died trying to escape. He wanted nothing to do with me. He wished my sister and I never existed, that all Veredians had died. But she loved Gruuk!”

  Aleina’s voice had risen with every word ending almost on a shout. She broke down and cried with heavy sobs. Moving up to her, I embraced my mate as she shed her sorrow on my shoulder. Her pain was like so many claws shredding my heart, but this festering wound needed to be drained. I understood the agony of being rejected by a parent, but her mother loved her and shouldn’t be punished for the choices of her father. Holding her tight, I slowly caressed her hair while her tears subsided.

  “The day Gruuk took his life, on Zalgar, I announced the news to my mother while waiting for you and Khel to come get her,” she whispered, her voice raw from crying so hard. “She broke down in tears. I thought it was relief for being free at last. And I just railed about him, saying he got what he deserved. That he’d never get her again because he’d be burning in the everlasting fires of Gharah’s lair. But the whole time, I ranted and rejoiced at his demise, her heart was breaking over the death of her first love.”

  “You didn’t know, love. None of us knew.”

  “I knew! Deep down, I knew but refused to admit it,” she said with self-hatred. “I’d lived on the Revenant before being sent to the reproduction fortresses. The difference in the way he’d treated us had been plain to see. She told me of her life onboard, even after Amalia escaped, and I knew.”

  Aleina lifted her head and looked at me with the same haunted expression that had been straining her features too often of late.

  “But how do you start liking someone you have devoted a lifetime to hating?” she asked, her eye flicking between mine. “How do I reconcile the male who enslaved and sold my entire race with the male who loved my mother and put his life on the line to protect her, my sisters, and me?”

  “You don’t have to. No one is asking you to. He said himself that, by our standards, he wasn’t a good male. He’s not seeking absolution or making amends for his choices,” I said, wiping the tears from her right cheek with my thumb. “Your mother doesn’t expect you to like Gruuk, only to allow her to feel whatever she chooses to. I do not and never will like Gruuk. His Guldan ways and beliefs clash too much with my own. But that doesn’t prevent me from respecting and being grateful for the sacrifices he made out of love.”

  Hope, guilt, and sorrow struggled for dominance on Aleina’s face.

  “And forgive yourself for not showing empathy for a heartbreak you didn’t even know she was going through,” I said, kissing her lips. “Forgive your mother, for the choices you do not understand or agree with. In the end, they were hers to make. But above all, Maheva may not have loved your father, but she loves you with all her heart.”

  This time, the insecurity in her eyes stabbed me in the chest as understanding finally dawned on me.

  “Aleina, your mother adores you. Do you not hear the pride in her voice when she speaks of you, and in her eyes when she looks at you? She may have loved Gruuk but that doesn’t mean she loves your sister more than you.”

  Her sharp breath intake confirmed I’d hit home.

  “A mother’s heart has no such boundaries. Mercy is her firstborn, and you’re her youngest who freed her and all of your Sisters from a life of bondage. Don’t ever doubt your mother’s love for you. Just promise me you will tell her how much you love her the next time you speak.”

  She nodded, and I embraced her again.

  “Lower arms,” I said.

&nbs
p; Obeying my command, the magnetic shackles brought Aleina’s arms down, hanging by her sides. Picking her up, I carried her to the bed and carefully laid her down.

  “You’re finally done torturing me?” she asked, only half-joking.

  “No love,” I said smiling.

  She eyed me warily as I moved away from the bed to fetch a few items from the chest of drawers.

  “What are you doing?” she asked, tension creeping into her voice.

  “Giving you your first lesson in letting go.”

  “What?” she asked, incredulous.

  I clasped another pair of magnetic shackles around her ankles and synced them with the first set. When she saw me pick up the blindfold, panic crossed her features, quickly replaced by anger.

  “NO! You will NOT blindfold me,” she grounded through her teeth. “That’s it. That’s enough. Release me, right now!”

  “Aleina…”

  “NO GHAN!” She breathed heavily, her eyes burning with something akin to rage. “You’ve taken enough for one day. Now stop this!”

  “Taken?” I asked, trying to silence my own anger rising. “What have I taken from you, Aleina? I made you face the truth of your own behavior. But what have you given?”

  “This is all semantics. I don’t care. I’m just done. Let me go.”

  “Do you not trust me to take care of you?”

  “This has nothing to do with trust,” she said, exasperated. “And I don’t need you to take care of me.”

  That cut deeper than I could ever express. Since the beginning of our relationship, I’d been in denial but each passing day made it more and more obvious. The most painful part was that she didn’t even realize how she truly felt about my place in her life and how much it hurt me.

  “How could I forget? You are the almighty Admiral Lee.”

  She huffed, rolled her eyes, and then pinched her lips.

  I’m not even worthy of a sarcastic reply.

  “Release subject,” I said.

  The shackles stopped emitting the neural signal that immobilized Aleina, then clicked open. She shook them off her wrists and ankles then scrambled backward on the bed. Hugging her knees to her chest, she glared at me as if expecting an apology.