Twisted War

by Danielle James

  What the fuck was I doing? Shit.

  I tossed the condom and zipped my pants up. That’s when the guilt flooded me. Yeah, the pussy was good as usual, I don’t think I’ve fucked any bad pussy yet but that was beside the point. I broke a promise to Camilla. Jada was adjusting her clothes and licking her lips like she’d just bitten off of the forbidden fruit.

  “See, wasn’t that amazing?” She smiled and tried to lean in to kiss me but I drew back. Her face fell momentarily but she masked the sting with a phony smile.

  “I don’t kiss women I’m just fucking around with,” I told her honestly.

  “But you kiss Camilla, huh?” She rolled her eyes and I felt a flash of anger surge through me.

  “Of course I kiss her. She’s the mother of my child. I love her.”

  “I couldn’t tell the way you were fucking the shit out of me just now.” She winked at me and slid by me brushing her breasts against my chest on her way out. “Come by for dinner and I can make you feel better about cheating on her.” I waited until she left before I did and I gave Brooke another hundred for doing a good job. I completely ignored the fact that she bit her bottom lip when I placed the money in her hand. Not even going down that goddamn road again.

  **

  “How was your appointment?” I asked Camilla. She was balancing Chloe on her hip, standing in my office.

  “It was okay. Alexander kept pressing me about those pills though. I hate that shit,” she fumed. Chloe grabbed a hold of Camilla’s earring and she let out a string of curse words. “Sorry, Chlo. Mommy has a potty mouth,” she frowned.

  “Yes, Mommy does. Daddy likes it though,” I smirked at her and she blushed. I loved how I could still make her blush and how she still looked at me like she wanted to pounce on me. Shit, the feeling was more than mutual. I’d never seen a more beautiful woman than Camilla.

  I still don’t understand why I had a drop-dead gorgeous woman and still fucked the cute girls. The neighborhood, grocery store, girls that didn’t have shit on Camilla. I curled my fingers around Camilla’s neck and she gazed up at me. “I love you,” I told her.

  “I love you too babe. Is everything okay?” She was studying my face and she knew something was off. “How was your meeting with…Jada?” Her name was stiff coming off of Camilla’s lips like she really wanted to call her something else. I laughed at it.

  “It was good. She’ll start tomorrow.” Camilla set Chloe down and I watched as she toddled over to the corner that held her toys. I could see that Camilla had something right on the tip of her tongue but she was holding it in. “Ask me,” I blurted.

  “Ask you what?”

  “Don’t play dumb, Camilla. I can tell you want to say something.” She fluttered those long lashes at me and I got caught up in looking at her for a minute and forgot what I was saying.

  “I don’t want you to be mad at me. I want us to try this whole trusting each other thing so, I’m not gonna ask you. You know why? Because I trust you.” She kissed my lips and I felt like I was drowning in guilt. Her tongue slipped into my mouth and I turned my head away from her even though it was fucked up. She looked rejected and as much as I wanted to explain why I turned away from her, I couldn’t. Not this time.

  Usually, I come straight out and tell her when I’m fucking someone else but I couldn’t right then. She just told me she trusted me. She wouldn’t even ask if I’d fucked Jada because she was actually trying to make things work. I thought about asking her if she saw Emmanuel today but that would just be me projecting my wrong doing onto her. Besides I could tell when she fucked him. It was a sixth sense I’d acquired. She hadn’t slept with him in months though. Longer than the two months I was going on, I knew that much I’d really messed shit up sticking my dick in Jada today.

  Camilla grabbed Chloe’s hand and forced a smile when she looked at me. “I’m gonna take her home. She needs to eat dinner. Are you working late?” She asked trying to hold back the quiver in her voice.

  “Yeah. I’m not gonna be in until late. Put a plate away for me.” I kissed her forehead and knelt down to kiss Chloe. She never wanted to leave my side and now was no different. She grabbed my finger and tugged at it. “Daddy has to work baby girl.”

  “Well, you can bring your work home. We don’t mind as long as you’re there.” Camilla’s voice was soft and nothing like her normal bossy tone. Not even at her most submissive in the bedroom did she sound as soft as she sounded now. I felt like shit knowing I made her feel this way. It made me want to stay far away from her though. I was scared of hurting her even more.

  When Camilla and Chloe left I flopped down into my chair and just ran my hands over my face trying to rub away what happened earlier with Jada. I just let Camilla walk out of here without telling her about it. I just lied to her and told her I had to work late when I was done with everything for the night. I was fucking up in a major way. All I could do was stare at the news on TV blank and distant.

  “I didn’t turn the reigns over for you to just sit on your ass Pastor Sanders.” Emmanuel frowned down at me from the doorway and I barely glanced at him. I don’t even know how long I’d been sitting there.

  He could tell with just one look that shit was off. I hated how good he was at reading people. I shrugged my shoulders and stood up, not wanting to let on. His eyes watched my every move though. “Why are you still here? It’s almost eleven.” He glanced down at his watch and then at me.

  “I had work to do. Why are you here?” I frowned.

  “Well, I stopped by the house but Cami said you were here.” I felt my muscles tense knowing he’d been to my house.

  “Why the fuck were you looking for me at my house?” I snapped.

  “Because you live there. Look, whatever is fucking with you, deal with it. You’re about to be in over your head if you don’t calm down.” I eyed him and folded my arms across my chest. More and more I wondered if he really wanted to see me for something or did he just want to make sure I was out of the house so he could go fuck Camilla.

  “So you just dropped by to see me? Not Camilla? Okay, Emmanuel.” I laughed and turned the TV off.

  “I don’t have to drop by your house to see her.” He told me with a straight face. My hands turned to fists and I thought about swinging and punching him in the face. “You might wanna rethink that, son.” He nodded towards my fist and shook his head. “What the hell is wrong with you, Xavier?” He paused and then started laughing. I hated when Emmanuel laughed. It was so damn condescending and arrogant. Like he knew something I didn’t.

  “What the fuck is so funny?” I snapped at him, walking closer. I could feel my arm ready to pull back and launch a punch right at his jaw.

  “You just couldn’t keep your dick to yourself, could you? Stop thinking with your little head, man,” He shook his head. “Look, I came to see if you picked your pastors yet. I wanted you to run it by me when you pick them. That’s all.” He walked out and I was left standing there looking like a fucking prick.

  On cue, my fucking phone buzzed in my pocket. It was Jada sending me more pictures. This time of a plate of food she’d cooked followed by another shot of her ass in a black thong. I eyed the pictures and blew out a long breath. I was already in too deep with her even after just fucking her once. I might as well make it worth my while. I packed up my shit and texted Jada for her address.

  **

  Chapter Five

  Camilla

  Before the sun even came up, I was dressed and dropping Chloe off at daycare so I could get my day started. I didn’t even have to work I just needed someone I trusted to watch her while I got shit done. I led Chloe in through the doors and walked her over to the Wiggle Worms room where she usually stayed. I was busy putting her things in her cubby when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see Jada Pearson grinning in my fucking face. It took everything in me not to snatch the bitch bald.

  “Good morning Camilla,” She smiled. The only reason I responded was because Ch
loe was watching me intently. Her green eyes were fixed on me.

  “Miss Pearson” I replied dryly. I finished putting Chloe’s things away and scanned the room for Mary. I refused to leave my child alone with Jada’s scheming ass.

  “Mary is getting some art supplies from the other room but I’m perfectly capable of watching Chloe if you wanna go.”

  “No. I’ll wait for Mary,” I said. I walked over to Chloe and picked her up protectively. Jada reached her hand out to touch my daughter’s hair and I shielded her. The offended look that rippled across her face was wonderful. I almost giggled with fucking glee. I was so glad that the bitch was the director and not a teacher because she would be fired faster than she could pull Xavier’s dick from her mouth. I tilted my head and wondered if he’d fucked her or not. I blinked the thought away quickly. He would have told me. He always tells me when he fucks someone else even if I don’t want to know.

  “She doesn’t look like Xavier at all.” Jada covered her bitchiness with a smile and I’d had enough already.

  “And you don’t look like a conniving bitch but we all hide things, right Miss Pearson?” My bluntness caught her off guard and made her drop her smile.

  “Is that my Chloe?” Mary’s voice sounded from around the corner. Chloe squirmed out of my arms and ran for her favorite person.

  “Hi, MayMay.” Chloe grinned up at Mary. I walked over and leaned in to Mary’s ear.

  “Keep her away from my child please,” I said quietly. Mary eyed Jada and turned her back so Jada couldn’t see her mouth moving.

  “I don’t like her either. She’s all over Pastor Sanders.”

  “I know,” I huffed. “Keep an eye out for me please.” Mary nodded and took Chloe away from Jada’s prying eyes. I glanced over her once more and flashed her a fake smile. “You need to watch your attitude. You might think you know who’s in charge but you need to remember who owns half of New Grace.” Xavier may have been head pastor and Emmanuel and I were both happy with him making most of the decisions but I was half owner of New Grace Ministries after Dana died. Ultimately I held the power and if I wanted Jada gone, she would be. The moment I found out Xavier fucked her she was gone. Her ass was on thin ice.

  I couldn’t shake the feeling gnawing at me. I drummed my fingers against the steering wheel and called Dempsey. The only person I knew that was better at digging up shit on people than Emmanuel. When I asked him to dig around on Jada Pearson he laughed and told me that he’d let me know everything he could find including the first time she ever sneezed and the last time she burped. I rolled my eyes at him but a huge smile was plastered on my face. He always came through.

  The best time to go to Whole Foods is during the week when everyone else is at work. Yes, I sent Chloe to daycare so I could run errands. I’ve become so fucking vanilla sometimes it makes my eyes bleed. I’m being dramatic but still…

  I picked up things for dinner for the week and couldn’t stop my mind from wandering to Xavier. I hated feeling helpless and being a prisoner to trust. I just had to trust that he was doing what he said he would. It was driving me insane. I wanted to push and ask him all kinds of questions but how is that showing him that I can trust him?

  Christina called me in the middle of me tossing a box of spaghetti noodles in the cart. “Chris. Please save me from my boring life.” I whined into the phone.

  “Boring? You? Never.” She laughed. “Where’s my niece?”

  “Daycare.” I sighed. Even though it felt great not having Chloe attached to me, I missed my little buddy. She was a mini me, and it was more fun than I’d ever imagined being her mom. It made me wonder what the fuck was so wrong with me that Dana didn’t want to have that kind of relationship with me.

  “Why is she in daycare? Aren’t you off today?”

  “Yes. I also hate taking her ass to the store because she gets so cranky and then I get cranky and forget what the hell I even came out for.”

  “Aw, mom life,” She laughed, “Maybe your life is boring now. Well, at least you still have Daddy to fall back on.” Even though it was meant to be light hearted I still felt the chill in her words. Couldn’t rightfully blame her though. I was fucking her father. Or at least I used to. Ugh, I missed fucking him so much. I almost let those words slip out of my mouth but I had to remember that telling my little sister I missed the way her father used to fuck me was weird.

  “Not anymore.” I pouted as I pushed my cart along aimlessly.

  “You guys aren’t…together anymore?” I could hear the interest in her voice and I glared at it even though she couldn’t see me.

  “Not like that, no.” I grumbled. I put peanut butter and jelly in my cart and pushed along.

  “Did Xavier finally grow some fucking balls and tell you to leave him alone?” She quizzed.

  “Kinda. It was mutual. Ugh. I don’t wanna talk about it,” I whined. “How’s college life?” I asked her.

  “Annoying. I was thinking about going to see Laurel during spring break. You think she hates me?” She asked.

  “Um…not hate, no.” I said tilting my head from one side to the other. “She’s…kinda occupied with someone right now though.” Christina’s silence was so loud. I knew she was hurt. Her and Laurel weren’t talking though so I didn’t know what she expected exactly.

  “Okay…Guess I’ll just come home for break then. Any word from Trevor?” Her voice sounded hopeful.

  “Um…” I paused in the middle of an aisle and looked at the wide array of sauces in front of me. “Emmanuel won’t let me see him or talk to him.” I blurted. I knew that if I gave her any information of my father that she would get so excited she would tell Emmanuel and he’d know I was indeed contacting my dad.

  “Ugh he can be such a dick sometimes.” She groaned at her word choice and I just laughed. “I’ll talk to you later Cami. Love you, bye.” She ended the call and I continued to laugh. I laughed until I ran right into someone’s damn cart.

  “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” I stammered. Then I realized I was looking dead at Alexander. “What the hell are you doing out in public during normal hours?” I broke out into a smile and gave him a hug. His arms wrapped around me and I could hear his laugh rumble around in his chest. Alexander was always working and I’d never seen him out and about like a normal person.

  “I do have a life you know?” He grinned at me. His eyes lit up like they always did. I started pushing my cart again and he walked along side me. “You sure seemed happy before you tried to run me over. I take it you’re doing well since you didn’t show up for our session on Monday.” His eyes bore a hole through me and I shifted uncomfortably. Emmanuel had the same effect and I hated it.

  “I had something to do,” I lied.

  “Sure you did. You can cut the bullshit. We’re not in the office.” He told me candidly.

  “Well fine. I can’t stand when you fuss at me about taking those stupid fucking pills,” I told him angrily. He stopped pushing his cart and glared at me.

  “You’re lucky you’re my patient,” he said.

  “Or what, Alexander?”

  “I’d crush your pills up in your food and make you eat them,” He laughed.

  “Like I’d eat anything you cooked.” I paused and examined his cart. “Can you even cook?” He had ground meat, sauces, vegetables, and a loaf of French bread in his basket.

  “I can. But you’ll never taste anything I cook after you insulted me. Asshole.” He smirked and I broke out into a laugh. Alexander eyed me for a moment and smiled warmly. “I’m happy to see you laughing.” When he said it an unexpected warmth rushed to my cheeks. I played it off by looking at the assortment of seasonings and herbs like they were so interesting.

  “You made me laugh, Alexander,” I told him. I bumped him with my hips and he nodded his head.

  “Fair enough,” he agreed.

  “So is your wife making you buy stuff for dinner? I know you can’t really cook. You’re too busy to know how to cook,” I teased.
I glanced at the spot on his finger where his gold wedding band usually is but it was gone. There wasn’t even a strip of pale skin where the ring used to be. I scrunched my face up and grabbed his large warm hand in mine. He looked shocked by the action. “Um…Alexander…where’s your ring?” I held his hand up to his face in case he hadn’t noticed it was gone.

  “Um…yeah, about that.” His eyes darted around quickly as if the answer would appear in the air.

  **

  Chapter Six

  Alexander

  At first bumping into Camilla White at Whole Foods was the highlight of my day especially once I saw she was happy and laughing. It turned awkward though once she realized I wasn’t wearing my wedding band. I wasn’t complaining at the fact that she was holding my hand right now but I pulled it from her surprisingly firm grasp and chuckled.

  “What about your ring now?” Camilla asked.

  “Look, if I tell you will you keep it between us?” I asked her quietly. We pushed our carts through the store to a less populated area then stopped. I knew I’d be in hot water with Manny for spilling the beans but she caught me red handed or bare handed. Camilla nodded her head anxiously. She couldn’t wait to hear what I had to say. I leaned in close to her. So close I almost brushed my lips against her ear. I made a mental note never to get that physically close to her again. “I’m not married,” I confessed. “Manny wanted you to think that so you’d label me as off limits and once I read up on you I understood why.” I knew the look flashing in her eyes. She was pissed.

  Normally I can analyze my way out of any situation but right then I was sort of stuck. Since she was my patient, I felt the urge to analyze without a doubt but another side of me wanted to comfort her. Before I could control myself, I put an arm around her and pulled her into me for a hug. It seemed to work too. She softened immediately but I stiffened. My entire body felt rigid. I hadn’t expected her warm, delicate scent to invade me like it did, or for her hair to feel so soft against my face. I broke the hug quickly and cleared my throat.