Sunshine Through the Rain

by Gilly Stewart

  He looked up, then away, then back.

  ‘Whatever happened, Angus, you’re not on your own. OK? I know there have been problems with these boys for – ages. I should have done something about it sooner. And I don’t even know exactly what happened, but whatever it was we’ll get through it, OK? No one was killed … were they?’

  He shook his head and gave the first glimmer of a smile. ‘Naw, it was just a scratch. But you should have heard him scream.’

  ‘Right, so it’s not the end of the world. We can sort it out. But first, suppose you tell me exactly what did happen?’

  Angus blew his nose on the disintegrating tissue. ‘I – I suppose so. You could tell those other people to come back in, too. I might as well tell you all at the same time.’

  She dropped a kiss on his forehead, something she had never dared do before, and went to the door to summon officialdom.

  Ellen couldn’t believe the amount of bureaucracy involved in one little fight. It hadn’t been like this when the boys had beaten up Angus and Simon, had it?

  There was the charging and being released on bail, the allocation of a solicitor and going through the whole story again with her, then dealing with Social Work. She kept calm because she had to, and the strength that Angus’s new trust gave her was amazing. But she still needed to talk the whole thing through with an adult, and as she couldn’t worry her mother, and Kit was clearly out of bounds, she turned to Clare once again. This time she insisted that Clare and Grace come and eat at Craigallan, as a thank you for looking after Callum and Lucy while she and Angus were otherwise occupied. She bought ready-cooked chicken, pre-prepared salad, baguettes, and lots of wine.

  ‘Well, this is very nice,’ said Clare, surveying the victuals with pleasure and managing in her usual wonderful way to ignore the tip that was the rest of the kitchen (and, indeed, the house). She tossed her hair back and regarded Ellen closely. ‘So, time to draw breath?’

  ‘Yes, thank God. Everything seems to have gone quiet for a bit.’

  ‘Have you found out yet what happened?’

  ‘Not entirely.’ Ellen had to smile as she remembered the garbled versions of events she had heard from Angus. ‘I don’t think he’s quite sure himself.’

  ‘No, I gathered as much from Grant.’ It was Grant who had been the first adult on the scene, having heard the screams from his house. It was he who had called the ambulance and the police, deciding sensibly that there was no way he could keep the latter out of things. He had also notified Clare of events and she had rescued Callum and Lucy from the car outside the police station when Ellen had totally forgotten them.

  ‘Should I have invited Grant tonight?’ said Ellen. Someone else she had to be grateful to.

  ‘He couldn’t have come. He’s at a gig. There’s a lot to be said for going out with a musician, you know? No way they can hang around and get under your feet every evening.’

  ‘I suppose.’

  ‘So, tell me what you do know, at least.’

  Ellen took a sip of her wine and considered. The last few days had been so hectic it was a relief to catch her breath and try to get things clear in her mind. ‘Jason Armstrong and those other boys were hassling Angus again. Whether they were waiting for him on purpose or it was pure chance, I don’t know, but they stopped him on his way to Grant’s. Angus says they wouldn’t let him past and when he tried to get by they began to push him about. He took the knife out of his pocket but he swears he never meant to use it.’

  ‘But why was he carrying a knife?’

  ‘You might well ask. This bullying has obviously been carrying on all summer, despite his denials. Why he couldn’t talk to me about it … However, he knows now that carrying a knife was definitely not the right way to deal with things.’

  ‘Can he claim it as self-defence?’

  ‘Whatever happens, he’ll be done for having the knife. As I said, he shouldn’t have had it. Carrying an offensive weapon, or something like that. But he says hurting the other boy was an accident, there was a scuffle and he must have lashed out. He doesn’t remember clearly.’

  ‘Grant said there were broken bottles at the scene as well. I know he’s told the police that two of the youths were threatening Angus with them. It’s lucky he came along, God knows what they would have done.’

  ‘What I can’t understand is that only the boy Sean seems to have been hurt, despite all the blood and screaming. And he was cut on the face, but Angus says the knife went through his sleeve and got stuck there, so I really don’t know what to think.’ Ellen shook her head. Maybe talking things over wasn’t going to make them any clearer.

  ‘Does anyone know how badly Sean was hurt?’

  ‘The police won’t say, but from the solicitor I understand it wasn’t a bad wound, didn’t even need stitches.’

  ‘And what does Kit think about it all?’

  Ellen frowned. Why did they need to bring Kit into this? ‘I haven’t seen him,’ she said shortly. It wasn’t strictly true. Every time he went in or out he had to drive past Craigallan, so she had seen him – or his car – often enough. It was just that they no longer seemed to be speaking.

  ‘Don’t you think it’s time you and he made things up?’

  ‘We haven’t had an argument, how can we make up?’

  ‘I realise that Kit has a number of issues he needs to work through,’ said Clare earnestly, helping herself to another glass of wine. ‘He’s got this great need to care for people, and when he feels he isn’t achieving that, he doesn’t cope well.’

  Ellen grunted. So Kit had only hung around all that time because he could care for them?

  ‘Someone needs to get him to loosen up a bit, you know?’ continued Clare. ‘It’s a shame his mother is ill but it doesn’t mean he should put his own life on hold.’

  The words rang uncomfortably true with Ellen. Hadn’t she put her own life on hold during those first awful months following Jess and Sam’s death? She wondered what the situation with Kit would be like now if she had behaved differently then.

  ‘It’s Kit’s life,’ she said shortly.

  ‘Does he know about Angus’s latest?’

  ‘I haven’t told him. I don’t know if Angus has.’

  ‘He’ll be hurt if he finds out and none of you have told him.’

  ‘For goodness sake,’ said Ellen. ‘I’ve got enough to worry about without whether Kit Ballantyne is hurt or not.’

  When Kit knocked on Ellen’s door on the Monday morning, she met him with a guarded smile. He couldn’t blame her. She must be wondering what had happened to make him appear now.

  He should have apologised days ago, although he couldn’t now quite remember what it was the thought he had done wrong. But his mum had needed him, and he’d promised himself he’d put her first. Now the hospital were confident they had her medication right and were even talking about a moving her to the local cottage hospital. So he had time to think of other things.

  Ellen must have washed her hair that morning and it was still damp, combed tidily back to reveal more of her face than usual. She looked calm and collected and very pretty, even in jeans and a loose cotton jersey. It made him feel nervous, at how she could always be so calm, so immaculate.

  ‘Er, hi,’ he said, bending to pat Monty, who was perfectly welcoming.

  ‘Hello.’ She went back to the sink where she had been washing up. When he said nothing she sighed and made a move to dry her hands again. ‘Do you want to come in? Coffee?’

  It made him smile. She couldn’t not be polite. She frowned suspiciously at the smile and he said hurriedly, ‘That’d be great, thanks.’ At least it got him in to the house and seated at the kitchen table. ‘Lovely day,’ he said, as the silence lengthened.

  Ellen glanced out of the window at the fields where the sun slanted through an early morning mist, picking out the golds and browns of the grass. ‘Mmm.’ She put a mug down on the table in front of him and then returned to the sink. He stared at her back. It
wasn’t encouraging.

  ‘Er, Ellen?’

  ‘Mmm?’

  ‘How’s Angus getting on?’ It wasn’t what he meant to say, but he had to start somewhere.

  Her expression darkened. ‘I presume you’ve heard what happened?’

  ‘No. Why? What?’

  Ellen sucked in her lip. ‘I thought that was why you were here. Angus got into another fight.’

  ‘With those same kids?’ Ellen nodded and he felt the anger rise in him as he remembered the smug nastiness of the youngsters on the evening of the ceilidh. ‘I hope he sorted them out properly this time.’

  ‘Maybe you could say he did.’ Ellen gave a faint smile. ‘He knifed one of them.’

  ‘He what?’ Kit leant forward, horrified. How could she smile about something like that? Angus in a knife fight! He couldn’t believe it.

  ‘He didn’t do much damage. In fact, it’s debatable whether he did any at all. The other kids were using broken bottles. A boy called Sean got cut on his face and another boy on his hand, but no one is clear how.’

  ‘Is Angus OK?’

  ‘Physically, he’s fine. He was a bit – shaken.’ Ellen looked shaken herself as she described briefly what had happened. ‘There have obviously been ongoing problems the whole time, but I didn’t realise. I can’t understand why I didn’t know.’

  ‘Where is Angus now?’ asked Kit, but what he was really thinking was, why didn’t you tell me? Angus had been involved is something as serious as this and nobody had thought to let him know? Did he count for nothing in the lives of Ellen and the children?

  ‘He’s at Simon’s. He’s fine – well, fine-ish. He’s on police bail while we find out what is going to happen.’

  ‘You’ve let him go into Dunmuir where those other kids are?’

  Ellen glared, the green-brown eyes cold. ‘I took him in. I’ll pick him up. Simon’s mum knows what happened. She’ll keep an eye on him. I think I’m doing the best I can, don’t you?’

  ‘Yes, of course. I only thought …’

  ‘You think I should keep him locked up at home? What good would that do?’

  Kit took a deep breath. ‘I’m only concerned about Angus.’

  ‘You think I’m not?’

  ‘No, I didn’t mean that. Shit. What’s going to happen now? Will he have a criminal record? This could be really serious, don’t you see?’

  ‘Yes, of course I see. You think I’m not worried sick? But I can’t let Angus know that. He’s upset enough as it is. We’re just waiting to see what will happen. Apparently there’ll be a Children’s Panel hearing, whatever that is.’

  ‘Is there anything I can do to help? Do you want me to talk to Angus?’

  ‘No thank you. I can talk to Angus perfectly well myself.’

  Everything he said was wrong, but Kit couldn’t seem to stop himself. Didn’t she know how much Angus meant to him, how desperate he was to help? He admired and liked the kid, and he owed it to Jess and Sam to do everything he could. ‘Maybe I could take him out somewhere for the day? Take them all out. Give you a break.’ Why hadn’t he thought of that before?

  ‘I don’t need a break, thank you. Despite the opinion of the social workers and others, I’m perfectly able to cope.’

  ‘I didn’t mean that. Perhaps I can put in a good word for him, you know, as a character witness or something? And surely they’ll take into account all he’s gone through this year, losing his parents, he’s had a difficult time. They won’t be too hard on him, will they?’

  ‘I’m sure they’ll take all that into account.’ Ellen’s eyes flashed with anger now. What had he said? ‘And the fact that he’s now being looked after by his feckless aunt who has no idea of the rules of child care, but I’m sure a character reference from a pillar of the community like you will make all the difference.’

  ‘Ellen, I’m only trying to help …’

  ‘Just leave it, OK? Look, I’ve got things I need to get on with, and I presume you have too.’ She rose and took the mugs to the sink.

  Kit rose too and moved a step towards her, and then hesitated. ‘Ellen, I’m sorry.’

  ‘Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault.’

  ‘I know. I mean, I don’t mean to interfere…’

  ‘Then don’t.’ She turned to face him, her eyes steely and implacable. ‘That’s what everyone says they want to do, isn’t it, they only want to help. Give their opinion. Criticise. Well, the children are my problem and I’m going to look after them, all on my own. OK?’

  He could feel the cold waves of fury, driving him away from her. ‘If that’s what you want.’

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Ellen shuffled the papers nervously in her hands as she waited for the children to take their seats at the table. As she looked around she wished she had suggested the sitting room. This felt far too businesslike, and already Lucy’s eyes were red and tearful. She had brought out the beautiful candle-holder that Clare had made for them.

  ‘What’s that for?’ asked Angus.

  ‘I thought … maybe we could light it,’ his sister whispered.

  Angus shrugged.

  ‘We’ll light it this evening,’ said Ellen. It wasn’t the first time the candle had been brought out. It appeared in times of stress and lighting it appeared to calm the children, as Clare had surely intended.

  Then she took a deep breath, and began. ‘You remember I said I would try to find out everything I could about what happened to your parents?’ They nodded. ‘I want to tell you what I know.’

  Ellen spread the papers before her with nervous hands.

  This was the hardest thing she had done, harder than the funeral, harder than taking on the children. She’d had to force herself every step of the way, asking questions, insisting on answers she didn’t even want to know. Forcing herself to face up to the facts of her sister’s pointless death. Because the children needed to know.

  She took a deep breath and began.

  ‘As you know, the taxi your parents were in was in a collision with another car. The Czech police have now finished their investigation and it seems that the taxi driver was not at fault. The driver of the other car had been drinking and he went through a red light. It was all very fast. His car hit the one your parents were in hard. They – they wouldn’t have known anything about it.’

  She swallowed hard. She had seen the photographs of the wreckage, but she wasn’t going to show those to the children. ‘The report says that death was instantaneous. That means it happened straight away, so neither of them would have suffered. The driver of the other car died later in hospital and the taxi driver was injured. The other driver wasn’t insured. He would have been prosecuted for dangerous driving and for having no insurance but obviously if he’s dead that can’t happen.’

  ‘I’m glad he’s dead,’ said Angus.

  Ellen raised her hands in a gesture of helplessness. She didn’t feel able to make any excuses for this man who had caused such misery.

  She squeezed her eyes shut to force back the tears that were threatening to fall.

  The children asked a few questions, and she answered them as best she could. Really, despite all her efforts, she didn’t have much to tell them. But they seemed relieved, as though this had helped.

  After a while she said, ‘One thing I found when I was going through everything last week was the camera your mum had with her during the holiday. The film wasn’t quite finished but I’ve had it developed. I thought you might like to see.’ Jess had had an old-fashioned camera, no new-fangled digital stuff for her.

  Ellen slid the shiny pictures from the paper packet and there was Jess’s pretty face, flushed and happy, laughing out at her. ‘If you gather round a bit we can look at them together, see if we can work out where they are.’

  The children did as she asked. She thought for a moment that Angus would refuse, but after a moment he moved to look over her shoulder. It meant she couldn’t see his face, which might have been his intenti
on.

  There were fourteen pictures, some of the beautiful buildings of Prague, one of Jess’s feet, and the remainder shots of Jess or Sam as they posed against the unfamiliar backdrops. They looked so happy. Ellen reminded herself that this was the first break they had had in years, a chance to spend time alone together again. And it looked as though they enjoyed it. In every picture they were smiling or laughing, pulling faces, throwing snowballs – having a good time, with no idea what lay ahead. There was only one picture of the two of them together, taken presumably by some waiter or willing passer-by. They had their arms around each other and looked like a couple very much in love. They had been married nearly fifteen years and were still very much in love. It could happen.

  ‘They look very happy,’ she said gently. ‘It’s nice that they had a good time, isn’t it?’

  Lucy put her finger on one picture and said nothing.

  Callum said, ‘They shouldn’t have gone.’

  ‘We can’t change it now,’ said Angus, and his tone was bitter again, the way it had been in those long resentful months.

  ‘No, we can’t change it.’ Ellen turned to put an arm around him, trying to enfold them all in an embrace. ‘It’s awful and unfair, but there’s nothing we can do except try and get on with our lives. I miss Jess too. Not as much as you do, of course, but she was my only sister. We’ve all lost something. But we’ve got each other. I’m really, really glad I’ve got you and I hope I can be as good an aunt as it is possible to be.’

  Angus stayed close longer than she expected, even putting his arm tentatively around Lucy.

  ‘Is there anything else?’

  ‘No, I don’t think so.’ There was no point in telling them that as the drunk driver had not been insured there was no money forthcoming from him. The officials had made a big thing of this, but, really, what was money? They had enough to live off, that was all that mattered. Although it would definitely help if she could find some more paying work soon.

  ‘I thought of getting some bigger prints made from these photos,’ she said cautiously. ‘It might be nice to frame them and put them up somewhere.’