Entering the room, Hayden saw Caroline sitting on the couch with her mother, holding hands, and talking like old friends catching up after years of separation.
What would it be like to have a similar reunion with his father?
Hayden held up the bag of sandwiches. “I brought lunch. A little squished, but it’s edible. The drinks were a total loss, though.”
“That’s okay,” Camille said, standing. “We have some drinks in the mini fridge.”
“I’m hungry enough that it doesn’t matter if my sandwich is squished.” Caroline reached for the bag.
“They didn’t have gluten free bread, I hope that’s okay.” Hayden looked at her apologetically, but Caroline shook her head.
“I told you, that’s Gram’s thing. I like my bread just as well as anyone else. But if you tell her, I’ll deny it and tell her it’s just the gluten messing with your brain.”
She winked at him, and Hayden was once again struck by her compassion towards her grandmother. He found so many things attractive in Caroline, but the way she cared for others drew him in a way that was hard to ignore. Caroline had given him so much, there was no way he could take the farm from her.
As Hayden handed out the sandwiches, he couldn’t help but wonder if there was another way. At the sandwich place, he’d seen an ad for a place like a dude ranch, only it was a farm where people could milk the cows themselves and collect their own eggs for breakfast. Instead of turning the farm into yet another resort community, could he convince his father to invest in the farm and expand the way Caroline used it to teach children about the traditional ways to teach adults? To have people stay there and do chores and learn about the dying family farm by participating in one?
He glanced over at Stephen, who had pulled his wife into a corner and was talking to her softly. Would Stephen be willing to go along with it?
More importantly, as returned his attention to Caroline, who was eating like she hadn’t eaten in days, would Caroline approve?
So many variables, and people who needed to give the project their blessing. He didn’t even know what Enid would think. But Hayden had spent so many years helping his father buy up land and turn it into various developments that he knew what a rarity Bigby Farm was. The Bigby siblings were worried about the lack of profit, but with Hayden’s knowledge of how to make a development profitable, surely he could use that knowledge to do the same for the Bigbys.
“Have you eaten?” Caroline asked, looking up from her sandwich.
“I’m not hungry.” Hayden sat on the couch next to her. “Good sandwich?”
Caroline let out a long sigh. “The best. I know Gram says her bread is just as good as the real stuff, but trust me, this stuff has to be what ambrosia was made of.”
“I’m pretty sure ambrosia was some kind of nectar.”
“It’s never been proven, so I’m going with bread. I’d forgotten how much I love bread.” She let out another satisfied sigh, and Hayden couldn’t help but think how, the happier she was, the prettier she became.
Caroline’s parents returned to the seating area, Stephen’s arm around Camille.
“Your mother and I were talking,” Stephen said. “It seems to me that we’ve all made a lot of mistakes. We never took the time to find out why you love the farm so much, and it’s high time we did.”
Caroline’s eyes lit up. “You mean, you’re calling off the dogs?”
Her face fell, and she turned to Hayden. “Sorry. I didn’t mean any offense. You’re not a dog, it’s just the whole plan.”
He reached for her hand and squeezed it. “I know. And it’s okay.”
“Let’s not be hasty. We’re talking about some valuable land here, and we need to examine all of the options, not just what’s convenient.”
An emotion he couldn’t read flashed across Caroline’s face, and Camille put her hand on Stephen’s arm.
“I’m just saying we need all of the information, that’s all,” he said. “I started this deal without fully reviewing the situation, and that’s an oversight I intend to correct. Which is why your mother and I would like to come out to the farm and see it for ourselves.”
“And Gram?” Caroline’s voice shook, and Hayden was glad she hadn’t yet let go of his hand. He squeezed it again, grateful that he could at least do this for her.
“You don’t eat bread to make her happy,” Camille said. “That’s crazy.”
Caroline flinched, and Hayden began stroking her hand with his thumb. They didn’t understand how desperately Caroline wanted, no needed, love, and she would always give up what she saw as minor things to make those she loved happy.
“What your mother is trying to say is that indulging your grandmother might not be the best thing for her. Her reckless behavior might be a sign that something else is going on. Early onset of Alzheimer’s, for example. You love her, so you give her what she wants to make her happy. We thought that was what we were doing for you, only it seemed to have the opposite effect. We need to see what Matilda’s evaluation says. Someone who is unbiased and not seeing her through the lens of loving or hating her.”
The tension in Caroline’s body eased, but was it because she’d seen wisdom in her father’s words, or because she’d given up the fight in defeat?
Caroline turned to Hayden. “What do you think?”
That the situation he was in was becoming more impossible by the minute. He’d been kidding himself earlier to think that he wasn’t falling for her. But now, having her lean on him, respecting him even though she knew that he may not end up on her side, how was he not supposed to love her?
“I think it’s wise. I don’t think Enid is crazy, but I’m also not a doctor. And if there is something wrong, the best thing for her would be to get treatment.”
Hayden took a deep breath. Prayed that even though he hadn’t learned much about the prayer thing, that God would somehow help him in this situation.
“As for the farm, I have a job to do. I’ve never represented myself any differently. But I agree with your father in that we haven’t explored every possible avenue. Which makes it difficult for me, because of my father’s expectations.”
He turned, examining Caroline’s face, hoping she would somehow understand what he was trying to convey. Then he looked her in the eye. “But I promise you, no matter what happens, I will act in full honesty and integrity.”
Tears filled Caroline’s eyes as she said, “I understand.”
“If we decide not to go through with the deal,” Stephen said, “I will make sure you’re compensated for your efforts, and you’ll receive my highest personal recommendation to your father for going above and beyond in representing his company well.”
“Thank you, sir.” Hayden nodded, but inside, he wondered if it would be enough. Would his father appreciate a deal falling through because of Hayden’s good sense, or would he be angry because Hayden didn’t have what it takes?
Once again, he returned to his idea of trying to find a way to make it a win-win situation for everyone. Could he make that work?
As Caroline jumped up and hugged her parents, Hayden’s emotions were all over the place. Happy that things were working out for her, relieved that he may not have to take the thing she loved from her, but anxious about his own future.
Pastor Harris had told him that God’s love wasn’t about getting what you wanted all the time, but trusting in God’s plan that it would all work out for good. Right now, that trust was all Hayden had. Though it looked like Caroline might be getting her happy ending, Hayden’s future didn’t look so bright.
Chapter 8
Caroline couldn’t help but smile as she gave her parents a tour of the farm. Hayden tagged along, making notes in his notebook, not saying anything. He’d been quiet since they left the hotel, but she didn’t think she’d be able to get him to open up with her parents around.
“Oh my,” her mom said as one of the baby goats came up to her. “I’d forgotten how cute these guys
were.”
“You want to feed her? We’re close enough to feeding time.” Caroline started for the barn even before her mother answered.
“Can I? That was my favorite job growing up. I always hated it when the babies grew up and we sold them.”
“Of course.” Caroline continued toward the barn as she heard her mother exclaim, “look Stephen! Isn’t she just the sweetest little thing you ever saw?”
“So much for hating the farm, huh?” Hayden came up behind her as she was grabbing the bottles from the shelf.
They tumbled to the ground. “You scared me.”
“Sorry.” He helped her gather the fallen bottles. “Can I help?”
His fingers brushed hers, and rather than the warmth she’d felt in his comfort earlier, she felt something... more. Caroline pulled away.
“I...”
“You felt it, didn’t you?” His gaze seared her down to the marrow.
“We can’t. You promised.”
Caroline turned away, her hands shaking as she prepared the milk for the babies. Part of her wanted to turn around and kiss him for all she was worth. To let him hold her and tell him how thankful she was that he’d been by her side in reconciling with her parents. She couldn’t have done it without him.
But the stirring inside her was so much more.
“What are we supposed to do, then?” He sounded more distant, and as Caroline looked over her shoulder, she saw that he’d moved to stand near some hay bales. Not too close, but close enough to still talk.
Trying to keep his promise.
How was she supposed to fight that?
“We barely know each other,” she said, knowing it was a lame excuse, but it was the only one she had. “You can’t be willing to give everything up to be here.”
Once again occupying herself with getting the food ready, her heart thudded. She could hear it pounding in her skull. Aching for his answer.
“It’s crazy,” he said slowly. “I came here knowing exactly what I wanted out of life, and now, it’s all mixed up. I thought all I needed was my father’s approval, but…”
Caroline’s heart fell to the bottom of her stomach, aching for him. Hadn’t he been an integral part of her journey in that area? To win her, he would need to give up that desire. And while they’d both learned that being loved wasn’t about meeting certain standards, she also knew nothing about his father, or where he was at in his views.
Could Hayden handle living with the what-if of giving up his father by leaving all that behind?
The one lesson she’d learned with her parents, giving up the thing you wanted most because you thought you were making the other person happy, it didn’t always turn out the way you thought it would. Sometimes, it only made everyone miserable.
“I get it,” Caroline said. “But I know that before your heart is free to be given to me, you have to resolve the situation with your father. Otherwise, you’ll always have doubts. You need to do what you need to do.”
Which sounded like she was giving him up. But the difference was, if he didn’t deal with his father, she wouldn’t really have his heart, free and clear.
Hayden nodded, looking thoughtful. “You’re right. That’s one of the reasons I’ve come to respect and admire you — your wisdom.”
It was a compliment, but being wise didn’t always make being right an easy pill to swallow.
“Just...” He looked like something important was on the tip of his tongue, but he was having a hard time coming up with it. “I didn’t want to say anything yet, but, I have to at least put this out there. Would you just hear me out with an open mind, knowing I haven’t figured everything out yet?”
Caroline stared at him, trying to decipher what was going on in his head. But she couldn’t. And, that, she supposed, was why he wanted her to have an open mind.
“All right.”
“What if we changed the development, expanded your whole, living history family farm concept, and made it bigger?”
Caroline shook her head. “Bigger? I can barely run things as it is. I had to bribe a group of teenage girls with the promise of being able to use our barn for a church dance, just to get enough people to help out with the camp we’re doing starting tomorrow. Even if I could find someone to help me, we don’t have the money to pay them a decent wage. We promised ourselves we wouldn’t hire anyone without making sure we were being fair in how we paid them. It’s just not possible.”
He appeared to be taking mental notes on her words. “I get that, and I appreciate where you’re coming from. But what if someone invested the capital to allow you to do all that, giving you the ability to charge more, thus making a greater profit so it would eventually be self-sustaining?”
It sounded like a sales pitch made by someone who did exactly that for a living. A great idea, but probably too good to be true. She’d been taken in by one of those before. And this hit a little too close to home.
“You forget that Gram purposely keeps our prices low, allowing the local folks who couldn’t otherwise afford our programs to take advantage.”
Hayden nodded. “And I would never suggest changing that. But with the right advertising, and the right infrastructure, we could bring in tourists, who do have money to spend, just like we planned with the resort. Only instead of coming to experience luxury, they would get to try their hand at farm living.”
She couldn’t even wrap her brain around the idea. People wanting to go on vacation to a farm? Hadn’t her parents always scoffed at being forced to come? Even in college, her friends made fun of her for wanting to come home on weekends to spend them on the farm. No one wanted to come to a farm.
“Nice try,” she said, grabbing the bottles. “But I think you’re reaching here. People go on vacation to rest, not work. I appreciate you trying to find a compromise, though.”
Caroline turned to go back outside, but Hayden caught up with her. “You said you’d keep an open mind, but so far, all you’ve come up with are objections. I don’t have all the answers yet, but I would like you to help me refine my idea.”
She stared at him. Hadn’t she just told him it wouldn’t work? Why would she help him with something that clearly made no sense?
“Please. Just do one thing for me.”
Caroline sighed. How bad could it be? “What do you want?”
Hayden’s eyes lit up, and even though she didn’t think he’d come up with anything worth doing, she couldn’t help but be intrigued by the way the thoughts seemed to be flowing in his brain. The man was genuinely excited about his crazy plan. He’d never expressed this level of enthusiasm about the development.
“I want you to make me a list.” He shook his head. “No, two lists. The first one, I want you to list every idea you’ve had for expanding operations, every dream you and your grandmother and cousins have for this farm. If someone handed you a blank check, what would you do with it?”
Caroline tried not to groan. “If you think you’re the first person to tempt me with the blank check game, you’re mistaken. I would spend it all on the farm.”
“Great!” Hayden practically jumped up and down. “That’s exactly what I was aiming at. You guys don’t want mansions, cars, jewelry, or trips. You want to make this place even better. So what would it take?”
It was hard not to laugh. Clearly Hayden had no idea what the farm needed. Oh, they’d talked plenty about improvements they’d like to make. But so many of those things were a pipe dream. However, if giving him a list was what it would take to get him to give up his crazy idea, oh, she’d give him a list.
“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into,” she told him, grinning.
He had the nerve to smile back. “You’re right, I don’t. And that’s why I want you to give it all to me.”
His expression softened, and he said, “Seriously, Caroline, what is your vision for this place? Your wildest crazy dream of everything it could be?”
Back in college, she’d done a project,
creating exactly that. Unfortunately, she’d gotten a bad grade on it, because her professor thought it was too unrealistic. If she had a blank check, that’s what she’d do. And even though it would get Hayden off her back, she wasn’t sure she could handle hearing someone else stomp on her dream.
“We’re too busy keeping things going to think about things like that.”
Hayden was silent for a moment, and then he said, “liar.”
She took a step back. “You don’t know anything.”
“I see it in your eyes. You know exactly what that crazy dream looks like, but you’re scared.”
Eyeing her with an intensity that seemed to be able to read her deepest secrets, Hayden continued. “I didn’t realize it until just now. You’re right about me needing to resolve things, but you’re not right about why. Part of why I enjoy what I do is that it feels good to be a part of something bigger than me. A mission, so to speak. Maybe it’s not a great one, but it’s far nobler than collecting a paycheck. If I gave everything up and joined you, I would want to know that I’m part of a bigger vision, not just trying to get through each day.”
His words stung, but he didn’t let up. “That vision is inside you. And you owe it to yourself, to your family, to your grandmother, to chase after it. Otherwise, what are you even trying to save this farm for?”
The trouble with letting Hayden see the broken pieces inside her meant that it hurt even more when he forced her to acknowledge that she might not have it all together after all. He had a way of making her dig deeper, which shouldn’t be hard, except for the fact that in this instance, she wasn’t sure he’d be there to hold her hand as she dealt with it.
Caroline closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she looked at him and said, “what’s the second list you want me to make?”
He grinned. “All of your reasons why it won’t work, can’t be done, and is doomed to failure.”
Now that was an easy list. She should just dig up her paper, along with her professor’s comments and hand it to him. That would cover both items nicely.
Romance Grows in Arcadia Valley (Arcadia Valley Romance Book 0) Page 47