Michaela

by Tracy St. John

  Conyod nodded his agreement. Michaela thought his demeanor was much warmer than Kivokan’s. She found herself liking him a little more. “It’s a bit disconcerting to hear those cries at first, but we make sure the treatment rooms we meet with the Mataras in are serene.”

  Michaela was no psychologist. She couldn’t pretend to be on the same level as these trained experts. However, she felt she had to point out, “The women still have to come back out and walk this corridor once they’re done with therapy, don’t they? They might leave you feeling better, but I bet they have to practically run out of here so the atmosphere doesn’t ruin it.”

  Govi’s brows drew together in concern. “Does it really bother you that much, Michaela? Even knowing you’re perfectly safe?”

  Another scream resounded. Michaela didn’t try to hide how much it made her cringe. “It doesn’t bother you? It sounds like I wandered into Hell. I sure hope you never have to house any more of us Earther women in here.”

  “That concern has come up. There are those I treat who I think would benefit more from around-the-clock care,” Kivokan said. His well-mannered face scowled as more yelling drifted into their wing.

  Michaela said, “If you do have to turn your department into a full-time ward, don’t let your patients out into the halls. No one will ever recover if they have to hear that all day and night. Damn, we Earthers would probably end up more traumatized than ever.”

  The three men looked at each other, worry and realization filling their faces.

  Kivokan addressed Govi. “Your Matara makes a good point. We should be prepared for the needs of hospitalized Earther patients, especially if more of these women end up coming to the Empire.”

  Conyod mused, “Considering the yelling significantly bothers someone not in treatment, I can only imagine how hard it must be for our patients to cope with. It has to be addressed. Simply pointing out that there is no danger is not going to be enough to settle fears.”

  “We may need to set up a separate section from this one for the women’s care, even if we never go the route of a full-service ward.” Kivokan’s tone hinted at demand rather than request.

  He’s definitely a Dramok, Michaela thought. How was it Govi, an Imdiko, had been made head of Earther Matara mental health? Weren’t Dramoks always the automatic leaders?

  While she puzzled over that, Govi said, “I’ll set up a meeting with Dr. Nampach so we can go over this issue.” He added for Michaela’s benefit, “Nampach is the head of the entire psychiatric department for the hospital. Would you mind if I share your reactions with him?”

  “Not at all. While you’re at it, ask your patients how they like it. I bet you’ll get an earful.”

  At her wry tone, the men chuckled. Kivokan bowed to her once more. “Thank you for bringing this matter to our attention, Matara. We are just starting out in our work with Earther females. As much as I hate to admit it, we are learning as we go.”

  “And arguing the ways and means of doing our best for those under our care,” Conyod snickered, giving Kivokan a friendly jab.

  “On that note,” the Dramok said, “If Dr. Govi and Matara Michaela will excuse us, I believe we have a discussion to finish.” He narrowed his eyes at Conyod in a mock glare.

  “You will never change my mind about mindwipes,” the Imdiko insisted as they walked away.

  “Therapeutic mind cleansings,” Kivokan corrected him. “And my method is far different from the lobotomies that have been done in the past. It gives people a whole new start in life. By the ancestors, Conyod, some patients you just can’t put right!”

  Govi chuckled. He whispered to Michaela, “They will never sway each other. I think they argue just for the fun of it.” He took her arm. “Come into my office, my Matara. I want to set up that meeting as soon as possible.”

  She grinned brightly at him as they followed the other two doctors at a slower pace. “How about that? See how useful I am to have around?”

  Govi gave her a hug, not caring that others might see the public display of affection. “I never doubted your ability to assist in every area of my life, love.”

  He stopped before a door that obediently hissed open for them.

  Michaela stepped into the room first and frowned. “Talk about bare bones, Govi. Did you just move in here?”

  The room couldn’t have been more barren when it came to decoration. Michaela couldn’t have even attached the word ‘decor’ to it because there was none. There was a desk. Sitting behind that was a hover chair that had seen better days, judging by its worn upholstery. Four slightly better chairs sat in a semi-circle before the desk.

  On the desk was a computer and com unit. That was the be- and end-all of Govi’s office. Even the walls with their illuminated light panels had no decoration. It didn’t look like the workplace of the head of a department.

  Govi smiled, prettying up the space with his perfect face. “I hate being shut up in here for very long, so I spend only a small amount of time in my office. I don’t even consult in here, if possible. That’s why there isn’t much to this room.”

  Michaela wrinkled her nose. “Maybe you wouldn’t mind being in here so much if you put some personality into the space.”

  Govi looked about the room, bemusement flitting across his face. He didn’t seem to understand why Michaela wanted him to decorate it. “I prefer to be among my patients. Why should this be anything but functional? It’s not like I live here.”

  “You could at least put some of your gazillions of pictures on the desk. You don’t even have stills of Korkla and Raxstad.”

  Sounding as if he humored her, Govi said, “I suppose I could have vids of my clanmates.” He waved his hand a little, as if dismissing the conversation. “It’s not like I lack for pleasant surroundings. The therapy rooms where I work with my outpatient clients are very nice. We have that lovely reflection garden on top of the hospital as well.”

  Michaela decided to give up on the subject, at least for the moment. She switched topics. “So what starts your day?”

  He brightened. In Michaela’s experience, men liked talking about their work, even when it was mundane. Govi was no exception.

  He motioned to the computer. “Before I begin my rounds, I check for messages and any questions that have come up. You can talk to me while I work on that and ask Dr. Nampach for a meeting.”

  The Imdiko went around the desk and sat in the battered hover chair. Michaela perched in one of the chairs across from him. With a barked command, Govi’s computer emitted a free-floating vid projection.

  “Check messages,” he said. He scanned the lines of Kalquorian hieroglyphics that sprang up over the computer. “Oh good, only half a dozen. Nothing is marked priority either. This should go by quickly, so you won’t get too bored.”

  Michaela watched his intent gaze scan over the communications. Govi was devastatingly handsome as he muttered over the report of one patient’s nightmares. He was insanely alluring as he made an appointment for a new client, a Matara who purposely threw up after eating binges. Then Govi was ridiculously gorgeous while comming in a sedative dosage increase for another woman’s ongoing insomnia. He made her head spin as he sent in his meeting request with the hospital’s head of psychiatry.

  Face it. Govi is stunning eating a sandwich, Michaela told herself. And he’s mine.

  She felt a grin spread over her face.

  Govi finished with his messages. He fussed with the handheld computer that he wore on his belt. Michaela smiled even bigger. Yes, even scowling at the device, the Imdiko continued to be more handsome than a man had a right to be.

  “I was thinking,” Michaela said.

  The Imdiko looked up with an inquisitive smile.

  She snickered. “I know. That’s an earth-shattering statement.”

  Govi laughed at her joke. “You are quite intelligent, my love. What’s on your mind?”

  “Dr. Conyod made mention about me not being in treatment a few minutes ago. But I
sort of am, aren’t I? I mean, you’ve been working on my issues since we met.”

  Govi pursed his lips. “I suppose it’s fair to say I am giving you therapy. It’s hardly advisable for me to do so, however, since I’m your clanmate. I’m probably too close to the situation to see it clearly. I admit that it worries me a little.”

  Michaela spied a trap forming, and she wasted no time in tripping it. “I’m not talking to anyone else about how I feel when it comes to being intersex. Especially to that Dr. Kivokan. I’m sure he’s a good headshrinker, but he smiles too damned much. He makes me think of a politician trying to get elected.”

  That made Govi laugh again. “He’s an excellent therapist, but I wouldn’t pick him for you either. His methods are the opposite of mine ... not that I’m saying my way is the best, mind you. It depends on the patient as to what doctor can serve her best.”

  “He’s a Dramok, isn’t he? How did you manage to become his superior?”

  Govi’s brow lifted. “There are several reasons. Just because a man’s breed designates him as a natural leader doesn’t always mean he’s the best qualified to head up a group. Imdikos predominate in the medical and therapeutic fields. Our status as caregivers means we are likely to direct in those disciplines, even over Dramoks.”

  Michaela hoped she hadn’t offended him by automatically assuming Kivokan was more likely to be in charge. “So you’re the best badass therapist between you two then. It’s nice to know you didn’t get passed over just because you’re an Imdiko.”

  Govi switched his computer off with a cheerful expression. “I’ve got more experience, performed more research, and have earned a higher standing than Kivokan in our field. My appointment to this post is based on merit alone.”

  “See? You’re the best man to make my brain work the way it’s supposed to. I think you’re doing a fine job on me.” Michaela sighed. “Except for my poor judgment in regards to what happened in the council meeting yesterday, I feel like I’m doing better. I’m not indulging in so much self-criticism.”

  He regarded her with a look that was hopeful. “You are doing much better. I’m seeing fewer and fewer relapses. I hope you realize just how much your clan loves you.”

  “See how amazing you are, Dr. Sweetheart? I’m as good as cured.”

  Govi pulled a face. “Not quite, my love, as much as I wished you were. I have the sense that any perceived rejection, no matter how slight, could send you back down that path of self-hatred. A lot of your issues will take time to overcome.” He waggled his eyebrows at her. “Time and the continued assurance that we find you absolutely delicious and irresistible.”

  Michaela licked her lips, giving him a look to tell her Imdiko how much she appreciated all his fine qualities. “I’m delicious, huh? I like the sound of that.”

  “You know you are. I’d give you detailed proof of that right here and now if I didn’t have to start my work. I have a patient due in just a few minutes though.”

  Michaela sighed. “Too bad. I could use some therapy.”

  Govi grinned. “The special kind I use for my favorite patient?”

  “Take two dicks and call you in the morning, right? I’d better be the only patient you give that type of treatment to.”

  Govi got up and came around his desk to administer a kiss. Michaela found it quite therapeutic.

  He told her, “I would love to fuck you to a cure for all the ugly things that have happened to you.”

  She laughed. “Have I mentioned lately how much I love my doctor?”

  Chapter 17

  Before meeting with his day’s first appointment, Govi gave Michaela a short tour of the Matara psychiatric wing. They roamed past the reception area and other therapists’ offices. He showed her one of the treatment rooms. Michaela had to admit the consultation space made up for the lack of decor in Govi’s office.

  “Now this is more like it,” she said upon entering. Massive vids played over three walls, showing a tranquil lakeside near a stretch of woods. The shimmering water lay as placid as glass, reflecting the rainbow-hued leaves of the nearby trees. A sweet trilling sound filled the air. Michaela had heard the sound frequently since coming to Kalquor and had at first thought it to be some type of birdsong. She had learned that it actually was the speech of drils, a small and rarely seen reptile with ten legs that ranged all over the planet.

  “The view can be changed according to the patient’s preference,” Govi said. He called out, “Display choices.”

  The lake disappeared, replaced by a meadow filled with blue and gold flowers taller than Michaela. The drilsong persisted, along with the soft sound of the breeze breathing through the air. That vanished as well, and a mountain range appeared. Snow drifted down, sugar-sprinkling the peaks as it came. For that view, there was silence. Drils hibernated in colder climates.

  “Wow,” Michaela breathed. “This is stunning. With the three walls, it almost feels like I’m right there. Only I’m not freezing my ass off in the snow.”

  Govi chuckled. “Lake view,” he said, and the original landscape returned. “This is Matara Angela’s favorite setting,” he informed Michaela. “She’s my first client today.”

  “She has good taste, both in landscapes and doctors,” replied Michaela. She dragged her gaze from the serene lake to look at the room itself.

  It was simple, much like the meditation space Michaela had imagined for one of her rooms at home. Plush seating pillows of soft colors dotted the cushioned green floor. A small fountain burbled nearby. A table held a tray of cups, water, and fruit. There were throws that one might snuggle into for warmth and comfort. A vase containing a flower arrangement sat nearby.

  “Nice,” came Michaela’s assessment. “I imagine people feel better the instant they come in here.”

  “It does help bring a sense of serenity,” Govi agreed. “Before we can even begin to discuss how to make things better, we must strive to get the patient in a calm mood.”

  He showed her the waiting room next, a comfortable lounge for people who accompanied patients to their appointments. Seating arrangements, a refreshment center, gaming vids, and reading devices were supplied. The room was currently empty.

  “Most prefer to wait in the garden,” Govi told her. “That’s the best place here. I think you’ll love it.”

  “Does it have Plasian flowers?” Michaela asked with an innocent smile.

  Govi laughed as he led her through a door that took them outside. “That might help with some patients’ sexual dysfunctions. I’ll have to make a note.”

  He was right about Michaela loving the garden area. It had been constructed on a much larger scaled version of their home balcony, built into the cliff face and overlooking the sea. The soft floral aromas mixed with sea salt to create a luscious bouquet that she inhaled with great appreciation.

  She couldn’t see the ocean or beach beyond the garden. The place was not manicured and forced into symmetry, as Israla’s garden had been. This place was nature run riot, with meandering paths winding through the brightly-hued foliage. Flowers, shrubs, and small trees mixed freely together, each jeweled petal and leaf competing to be named the most beautiful. Seating cushions dotted here and there, providing spaces for one to rest and enjoy her surroundings.

  The sound of water filled Michaela’s ears. A distant roar reminded Michaela that the ocean threw itself against the pink sanded beach not far away, though it remained out of sight. Closer, Michaela detected the gentle burble of running water, like a fountain. She stepped along the path, searching for the source of that sound. Govi, silent and smiling, followed her.

  To her happy surprise, Michaela found a picturesque brook. It appeared after she’d followed the path around two sharp bends. The strand of water flowed beyond a tiny patch of grass with two seating cushions. It came out of a thick copse of trees to her right and disappeared into thicker brush to her left. The path wound on past it, but Michaela stopped, charmed.

  The water ran over gold an
d silver-speckled rocks. Tiny iridescent fish darted about. Part of the grassy area was lit by the sun, and part lay in the cool shadow of sapphire-leaved trees. Michaela sighed.

  “It’s beautiful,” she told Govi. “I could spend a whole day right here if I had a book.”

  “This is one of my favorite spots to eat lunch,” he told her. “There is also a section with an ocean view that you might like. It’s farther down the path.”

  They followed the stone walkway, and Michaela commented at the different parts of the garden. There was a red flower-dotted area surrounding a mirror-smooth pond. Another boasted a hammock stretched between two sturdy trees. In yet another was a waterfall splashing upon more gold and silver-speckled stones.

  Then they were at the other end of the garden, and the ocean vista opened out before Michaela. She gasped to see the green sea spread out before her. Shuttle traffic raced across the powder-blue sky like dozens of lines of scurrying ants. With no foliage between her and the ocean, its roar was almost deafening. In comparison, the garden had been nearly silent.

  “I feel like I’m on the edge of the world,” Michaela laughed to Govi. She moved from the path to step across a strip of grass. Within a few feet, it turned into the cliff’s rocky surface. The people on the sparkling sand below looked astoundingly tiny. Michaela had a moment of vertigo, and she took a step back.

  Govi was right there of course, and she gave him a concerned look. “Is this a good idea? You’ve never had a suicidal patient come out here and keep on walking?”

  “Oh, there’s been an attempt or two,” he acknowledged. “We have safeguards in place, however. There’s a containment barrier that is activated if a falling object is detected. Anyone who falls or – ancestors forbid – tries to jump, will be caught in a field and held until help arrives.”

  “Thank goodness,” Michaela muttered. “I guess those people have to go into really intense therapy after trying something like that.”