My Rock

by Pat Simmons

  “I might check that out.”

  Watching Victor walk out the door a different man made Marcus exhale. “Lord, You made that change.”

  Chapter 24

  L

  ife was good. Tabitha never thought she could say that as a caregiver. It was true. In a short period of time, Jesus had stabilized the chaos in her life. When she became frustrated, she prayed. God calmed down her anxiety by leading her to mediate on Galatians 6:9: Be weary not in well-doing...be weary not in well-doing...

  Cast all your cares on Me, Christ whispered from First Peter 5:7. I won’t let you faint. I will give you strength not to faint. Just hearing His voice was a reminder that He hadn’t forgotten her.

  Yes, life was especially good when it came to Marcus. He always seemed to think about her needs. She hadn’t been sure if his plan for Aunt Tweet reading to the children would give her some breathing room. It had. So now, twice weekly, she had a new routine: Pick up her aunt from Bermuda Place and drive to Whittington Janitorial Services where he had dinner waiting for them.

  She didn’t expect this kind of pampering, not as a caregiver when, for the most part, her anguish was invisible until she was behind closed doors. Aunt Tweet basked in the children’s attention as she settled into the rocker the staff had provided for her comfort. Her presence meant story time, and the children didn’t seem to mind whether she turned pages in a book, or not.

  “So, how’s my girlfriend today?” Marcus teased. Once they were alone in the employee lounge, his eyes twinkled with mischief as he slid next to her at the table.

  There had been no official declaration of their status, but he had taken liberty to claim her as his. She didn’t put up much protest, not because she didn’t have the energy, but because he had put so much energy into nurturing their relationship.

  “Girlfriend, huh?” Hmph. Feigning disinterest, she shrugged as she opened her laptop to review some follow-up notes on doctors in her territory. “Who said I was your girlfriend?” she asked in a sassy tone without looking his way.

  “I can’t fall in love with her, if I she’s not my girlfriend,” he said it in a playful manner.

  Love? Tabitha stopped breathing as she slowly turned to face him. The intensity of his stare verified he wasn’t kidding. Her heart fluttered. He loved her?

  Watching her, Marcus didn’t say another word. Before she could whisper her response, a little boy rushed into the room and patted her arm, interrupting a pivotal moment between them she would never forget. Immediately, she was alarmed by the sight of tears threatening to spill from his big doe eyes.

  “I love you, Tabitha, and it grows more each day,” he said almost in a whisper. “I want us to be an official couple.”

  “Miss Tabby,” a child called out to her, rushing into the lounge, “Aunt Tweet won’t let me play with my car.” He turned and pointed.

  Her jaw dropped in disbelief, as she witnessed her aunt slip the child’s toy in her purse.

  She and Marcus stood at the same time. “I’ll handle it,” she advised, taking the child’s hand and going into the area where her aunt held court. Lowering her voice, she asked, “Do you have...” She paused and looked at the child.

  “Kenny.” His bottom lip trembled.

  “Do you have Kenny’s toy?”

  Indignant, Aunt Tweet straightened her shoulders and defiantly stated, “Nuh-uh.”

  Stealing? Lying? What’s next? “I saw you put Kenny’s toy car in your purse. Let’s give it back, okay?” She reached for the shoulder bag, but her aunt snatched it back until it became a wrestling match. The more she pulled, the more her aunt strengthened her grip. To make matters worse, the children were watching their tug-of-war.

  Marcus tried to intervene. “Ah, ladies, please.”

  The commotion had gotten the attention of the child care supervisor. Even the night security guard was on her heels.

  “Ma’am, please put the purse back on the table and step back,” The guard whose badge showed Edward, ordered with his thumbs resting on his belt.

  All this to recover a toy? Then again, Aunt Tweet wasn’t relinquishing that purse.

  “Edward, that won’t be necessary,” Marcus told him while helping Aunt Tweet to her feet. “Let’s go for a walk.” He guided her out of the play area down a long corridor. She was still clutching the purse. He turned back and mouthed, Now what?

  Kenny patted her leg again. “Miss Tabby, I want my toy.” He began to rub his eyes. The child was close to tears.

  “It’s okay, sweetie. I’ll get it.” Hopefully. Although she was aware of the combative side of Alzheimer’s, Tabitha never thought her aunt would be so stubborn and hostile in front of the children. Lord, what should I do? Her own eyes blurred with moisture as she hurried after them.

  With loving kindness I have drawn all men to Me, God whispered.

  Well, that ruled out her snatching the purse and making a run for it. The last thing Tabitha wanted to do was make her aunt fearful of her. Going in the direction of Marcus, she hurried to catch up with them and smiled. Outside of her parents, Aunt Tweet had been the most loving, caring person she knew. She had to keep reminding herself of that person inside no matter what she saw on the outside.

  She wrapped her aunt in a hug, then kissed her cheek. “How are you feeling?”

  “Tired, I guess.”

  Tabitha nodded. “Okay, we’ll go home, but first I need to borrow something out of your purse.”

  Aunt Tweet frowned, but a few moments later, she handed it over. Accepting the purse, Tabitha turned her back to her aunt and removed the toy. She exhaled as she handed the shoulder bag back to her aunt. Discreetly, she gave Kenny’s car to Marcus. “Will you tell him we’re sorry and grab my things?”

  “Sure, babe.” As he began to walk away, he paused. “Oh, and don’t think I’m not waiting to hear you say you love me back.” He brushed a kiss against her cheek. She shivered at the feel of his velvety hairs on his ever-growing beard.

  He wouldn’t hear it tonight as her emotions were stretched by the embarrassing turn of events. A pity party descended on her while waiting for him to bring her purse and laptop. The moment of hearing Marcus say he loved her would always be clouded with Aunt Tweet’s antic.

  Marcus returned and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, then walked them to her car.

  Once inside her car, he leaned down until their eyes met through her driver’s side window. “Call me if you want to talk,” he whispered. She didn’t respond and drove away.

  MARCUS HAD A GUT FEELING she wouldn’t call him. His bright idea to keep Aunt Tweet occupied had backfired at the worst possible time. The vibes between them were right, so he was in a playful mood. He wanted to flirt with Tabitha and watch her flirt back. Saying he loved her felt right. His ears itched to hear her surrender to her love for him. He would give anything to know what she was thinking. He had witnessed so many emotions cross her face, mainly the embarrassment from Aunt Tweet’s stubbornness. Resolved to give her space to acknowledge what he had revealed tonight, he patted her hood and stepped back.

  Stuffing his hands in his pants pockets, he swallowed his disappointment. This wasn’t how he envisioned the night going when he casually professed his love. Of course, it wasn’t the most ideal situation, but he had to work with what they had: Aunt Tweet.

  He stayed rooted in place as her blue Taurus disappeared from the parking lot and exited on I-170, heading home.

  “What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours, Tabitha?” he wondered as he spun around and headed back into the building to do damage control.

  The next morning, Marcus checked his phone for texts and voicemails—not one word from her. Sitting on the edge of his bed, he dropped his head in his hands. He wanted to call her, hear her voice, but she hadn’t reached out to him.

  “Lord, please don’t let what happened last night be a setback for our relationship.” It wasn’t his imagination that her face lit up when he said he loved her.
/>   He had nothing but adoration for Aunt Tweet, but at that precise moment, he was so mad that her timing was off to hijack a toy, he wanted to send her to her room as punishment. Now, he understood firsthand what Tabitha endured constantly when he wasn’t around. His poor baby.

  Feeling helpless, he slid to his knees to pray. After giving thanks, he magnified the Lord for his salvation, then asked God how to proceed. “Jesus, please bless Tabitha. I love her. Please give her whatever peace and strength she needs that I can’t...”

  He didn’t know how long he stayed on his knees, but when he said, “Amen,” he hoped for a Word from the Lord. When nothing came to his spirit, he picked up his Bible. Maybe God would speak to him through His Word, so he flipped through the pages until he stopped in Romans 12. He scanned the verses, looking for a message. He paused at verse fifteen: Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. He mediated on the meaning, then closed his Bible. He was hurting, because Tabitha was hurting. “I’ll have to keep praying until we can get into a happy place again, together.”

  Praying for her was easy. Waiting for the fruit of his petitions was torture. Marcus went through the motions of getting ready for work, but once he dressed, he couldn’t stand not talking to her. He called and got her voicemail, so he texted her.

  I know there are a lot of things you might want to forget about last night. I hope my love for you isn’t one of them. He hit send and waited for her reply. After a few minutes and no reply, he left for work.

  Demetrius was finishing up a call when Marcus strolled through the door. They exchanged waves before he settled behind his desk and checked his phone for missed calls or a text from Tabitha—again nothing.

  Regroup and focus. Pushing his personal life aside, Marcus used all his mental strength to concentrate on his business.

  “Hey, man, did you hear about the fight in the daycare last night?” his brother asked after ending his conversation on the phone. Before he could face his brother, Demetrius howled with amusement. He gasped for air as he laughed uncontrollably.

  “Not funny, man.” he rubbed his lips in annoyance.

  “B-but it is.” Demetrius tee-heed. “An old woman and a young boy fighting over a toy. It doesn’t get any better than that.”

  “Unfortunately, it does. It happened to be at the exact moment I told Tabitha I loved her. Minutes later, the tug-of-war began.”

  Stopping mid-chuckle, Demetrius held it in. “Ooh.” He frowned and snapped to serious mode. “Aww, man. That is not good. How’s she doing this morning?”

  “She hasn’t returned my text.” Twisting his mouth, Marcus exhaled.

  Demetrius was quiet with a pensive expression. “Maybe that was a sign it isn’t meant —”

  Holding up his hand, he cut his brother off. He didn’t want to hear that. “It’s a sign that my love for Tabitha is worth fighting for. Nothing is going to get in my way of that,” he said with finality.

  Chapter 25

  T

  abitha wanted to forget everything about last night—well, not everything, she realized as silent tears dampened her pillow. Marcus wouldn’t take no for an answer that she wasn’t available to date—not yet—because of the uncertainties of Aunt Tweet’s condition. Then her heart wouldn’t take no that it couldn’t have him. She had cried herself to sleep.

  As she stared at her reflection this morning in her bathroom mirror, she admitted there wasn’t enough primer, concealer, or foundation to mask the puffiness under her eyes. She would have called in sick if she wasn’t still on probation. Plus, her day was packed with doctor appointments.

  Somehow, she made it through the motions of getting dressed, fed, and out the door with Aunt Tweet dressed to perfection. After dropping her off at Bermuda Place, Tabitha remembered she didn’t have enough Porital samples for osteoporosis needed for today’s appointments. She detoured to the office first with the intention of checking out samples, then getting back in her car ASAP.

  “Sorry,” she mumbled after almost knocking Ava Elise out of the way.

  “Whoa, you must be in a rush.” Her friend chuckled. “Hey, I like those sunglasses.”

  “Thanks.” She didn’t remove them. The cool cucumber cream she applied to reduce the puffiness should produce results by the time she met with the first doctor.

  Resting her hand on Tabitha’s arm, her friend wouldn’t let her continue. “Are you all right? Is everything okay with your aunt?”

  A dam broke before she could answer. Tears poured from her eyes without prompting.

  Ava Elise linked her fingers through Tabitha’s and tugged her out the door to the courtyard again. Once outside, her friend gave her a hug. “I thought you might need that.”

  She nodded and rummaged through her purse for tissues to blow her nose. “I did.”

  Removing Tabitha’s sunglasses, Ava Elise inspected her face. “Whoa. Please tell me you have allergies. There are over the counter and prescription meds for that.”

  “Not any more. I grew out of them.” She hiccupped. “Sorry. I’m having an emotional day.”

  “I see that.” They sat on a stone bench. “Did Aunt Tweet wander off again?”

  “No.” Tabitha’s shoulders slumped.

  “Whew.” Her friend patted her chest. “So what’s wrong?”

  “Marcus told me he’s in love with me.” She blinked and a tear fell.

  Ava Elise chuckled. “Honey, that’s a good thing. I’ve heard of crying tears of joy, but...”

  “The moment was almost perfect,” Tabitha said in awe, then mustered an uneasy smile. “The way he said it was so sweet.” She explained how the night went downhill after that and how she’d left the warehouse embarrassed. “I’d never guessed my aunt would be so defiant—and in front of children.” She sighed. “Marcus has texted and called me, but I can’t talk to him right now.”

  “He knows about her condition. I’m sure he doesn’t blame you, or her. What any woman wants is the love of a good man—you have it, but you didn’t tell Marcus you loved him?” Ava Elise paused. “How could you not? If you don’t, then scratch me off your friend list. A good man is hard to find.” She stood, and Tabitha followed. “Separate your personal life from your livelihood and call that man. I’m sure he’s worried about you.”

  Once back inside the building, they went separate ways.

  Sitting in construction traffic on I-70, she took her friend’s advice and called Marcus. He answered right away.

  “Baby, are you okay?”

  “I’m sorry,” she choked out.

  “Why?” he asked softly.

  “Because I love you too, and I couldn’t tell you.”

  “You’re telling me now.”

  They were quiet until she addressed last night’s issue. “It’s not the same. I’m sorry about Aunt Tweet’s behavior. I never imagined she would act like that in front of the children.” She still couldn’t believe it.

  “She can’t help herself,” he reassured her.

  “And I can’t help her from being the person she is now. It’s heartbreaking. I’m suffering, too—silently—with my aunt. I’m tired mentally, emotionally, physically... Sometimes, like last night, I wanted to run and hide under a rock. If I vent my frustration to my sisters, they may think I don’t want Aunt Tweet and that’s not the case. I love her!” She felt another crying binge on the brink.

  “Hey, I’m here. I hear you. God hears you. I love you, and as far as hiding under a rock, I heard a scripture about that, but don’t know where it is.

  In the day of trouble—spiritually or physical, I will hide you in My secret place, God whispered Psalm 27:5 to Tabitha.

  Her well of tears dried up. Thank You, God. She felt better. “Was little Kenny all right?”

  “Yep. As soon as he got his toy back, everything was forgotten.” He chuckled.

  She sniffed. “Good, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to bring her back there.”

  Marcus couldn’t convince her
to rethink her decision by the time she made it to her first appointment. They whispered their love again, and this time, she allowed it to melt her heart.

  For the next couple of days, it was tempting not to count down the months and weeks until Rachel took the reins of Aunt Tweet’s care. As the Fourth of July holiday approached, she was grateful he didn’t pressure her to join him for barbecue at his company. She had no choice but to put a self-imposed ban on visiting. Her aunt might not remember the skirmish, but she was sure the children would.

  At least she could look forward to her sisters coming to town and celebrating the holiday together and ban her melancholy from their presence. Even her prayer time seemed to suffer. Tabitha didn’t know what to pray anymore.

  Pray My will, God whispered. I show you how to pray in Matthew 6:10.

  God’s will scared Tabitha. What if it included more sacrifices on her part? “Lord, help my mood swings.”

  Even Pastor Nelson’s sermon was about casting cares on God. Her soul seemed to perk up, but her body was too tired to give in to rejoicing. Her spirit plummeted during her weekly Skype call with her sisters.

  “I decided to wait and come next weekend. That way we can celebrate Aunt Tweet’s ninetieth birthday,” Kym said.

  No! She craved her sisters’ company.

  “Personally, I really wanted to come for the Fourth, but I’d rather wait until all of us are together,” Rachel added.

  “Okay.” Masking her frustration, Tabitha smiled, then chatted a few more minutes before signing off. Something was definitely wrong with her, because she couldn’t shake her feeling of sadness. “God, help my mind and help me to give my emotions over to you.”

  No matter where the Knicely sisters were, they had always met at their parents’ home—hers now—for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and as many holidays in between.

  The summer holidays were the best when the sisters took trips together, despite living in different cities. Growing up, Tabitha’s heart ached for her friends who didn’t have siblings to enjoy things in life.