Captivate (Unearthly Balance Book 1)

by Jessica Sorensen

I smile, a real, rare, wonderful smile. “Good. That makes me feel way less crazy.”

  He stares at my lips for a beat before fixing his eyes on mine. “Or maybe we’re just both equally as crazy.”

  “Or maybe everyone else are the crazy ones, and we’re the only sane ones in the world,” I suggest.

  He snorts a laugh then his eyes widen. A beat or two skips by before he hastily shakes his head. “I think you might be on to something.” His voice is shaky. I wonder what’s got him so nervous.

  Before I can ask, he sticks his hand into his pocket and retrieves a folded up piece of paper. “I think—okay, hope—you’re going to be really excited about what’s on this list. Particularly number nine.”

  I take the paper from him, carefully unfolding it and reading the title. “The Finding Everly List?”

  He gives a half-shrug, pretending to be nonchalant, but I sense his nervousness. “It seemed pretty fitting to me.”

  “But it’s your list, too. Why not call it ‘The Finding Everly and Nico List’?”

  He carries my gaze. “Maybe because I want to find Everly, too.”

  I don’t really understand what he means, but the intense look he gives me makes my face flush.

  Clearing my throat, I focus on the list before my face erupts in flames.

  The Finding Everly List: (In no particular order)

  Ride a Ferris wheel.

  Watch the sun rise.

  Spend the night on a beach.

  Get drunk.

  Skinny dip.

  Take a road trip.

  See a psychic.

  Stand on the edge of a cliff.

  Karaoke.

  Laugh until your stomach hurts.

  Spend an entire day with someone who makes you happy.

  Reconnect with someone.

  Learn something new about yourself.

  Help someone who needs help.

  Spend the entire night talking to someone.

  Climb a tree.

  Kiss a stranger.

  Dance.

  Tell a secret.

  Make a new friend.

  Feel happiness.

  Share a quiet, peaceful moment with someone.

  I press my lips together. Kiss a stranger? I’ve never been kissed by anyone before.

  “Is something wrong?” Nico asks with a drop of worry.

  “No … I was just wondering how we’re going to do all of this in a week? I have work … I mean, I can probably call in sick a few days, but still …” I look over the list again. “It’s a lot of stuff.”

  “I know. But I have a plan.” Moving up beside me, he leans over my shoulder to look at the list, and I struggle with whether to lean into him or step away. “Here’s what I’m thinking,” he says, resting his chin on my shoulder, and my heart kick flips in my chest, while my head radiates with misery. Move away. Stay. Move away. Stay. What should I do! “We can do three, four, five”—his lips twitch with a ghost of a smile—“ten, and fifteen all in one day. And four and nine go together.”

  “They do?”

  He nods. “Unless you’ve got some mad singing skills.”

  I shake my head. “Not really.”

  “Then drunk before making an ass out of ourselves it is.” He redirects his focus back on the list. “Besides the road trip, the others should only take anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. And some of them you might experience while we’re doing the other stuff.”

  “Yeah, okay, maybe this will work.” I glance down at the list again and frown. “But the Ferris wheel and standing on the edge of a cliff … I don’t think those are going to work out very well.”

  He turns to look at me, and our lips end up a sliver of an inch away. “Why not?”

  “Because I’m deathly afraid of heights.” I can’t keep my breathing under control. “And I mean, pass-out-from-hyperventilation terrified. Just climbing up in a tree is going to be iffy.”

  “We’ll figure something out. Just trust me, okay?” he whispers, his gaze dropping to my lips.

  For a moment, I think he’s going to kiss me or something. And for a maddening instant, I consider letting him. Then the taste of despair snakes over my lips and burns my throat, reminding me why I’ve never kissed anyone.

  I step back from him, and he frowns, a pucker forming at his brow.

  “Is everything okay?”

  I nod. “Yeah. I’m just really eager to get started on the list,” I say, basically agreeing to trust him, though I don’t really know him. On the other hand, he hasn’t given me a reason not to.

  Until then, I’ll hang on to the trust. It’s either that or go back to living a life of drowning in loneliness.

  Chapter 11

  Everly

  We leave my apartment and drive down to the carnival on the pier. The sun is shining in the clear blue sky, the air is electric with excitement, and the scent of sweet funnel cakes, spun sugar, and caramelized apples graces my nostrils. I breathe it all in for the first time ever.

  So this is what life is like outdoors.

  Beneath all of the amazing smells and sunshine, though, lies a darkness, a storm of clouds threatening to take it all away.

  I’m not going to let it take this moment away. Today, I’m going to fight the despair!

  “I’ve never been to a carnival,” I admit to Nico as we stand in line at the ticket booth.

  He glances at me curiously. “Not once?”

  I lift one shoulder, shrugging. “I’m not a huge fan of crowded place.”

  His expression falters. “Shit. If I would’ve known that, I wouldn’t have put this or karaoke on the list.”

  “It’s okay.” I take in the few people roaming between the booths and rides. “It’s actually not that crowded.”

  He tracks my gaze then looks back at me. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? You’re supposed to have fun.”

  I nod. “This isn’t even as bad as being at school.”

  “Good.” He digs out his wallet as we reach the ticket booth. “And just so you know, I’ve never been to a carnival, either.”

  I gape at him in shock as he pays for the tickets. “Are you being serious right now?”

  He shrugs as he hands the ticket lady a twenty-dollar bill. “I don’t get out a lot, either.”

  “But I’m …” I trail off, shaking my head at myself.

  What’re you going to do, Everly? Tell him about your curse? Ha! Then you’ll really be alone, because he’ll run away from you like he’s running away from a … Well, the lunatic you just might be.

  “You’re, what?” he presses, taking the tickets and his change.

  “I was going to say weird,” I lie, “but I’m pretty sure you already know how weird I am. You don’t need a recap.”

  “You are a little.” He stuffs his wallet into the back pocket of his jeans and offers me a hauntingly sad smile. “But I kind of like that you are. And I’m not that normal, either.”

  What does that mean?

  For a wildly insane moment, I wonder if maybe Nico is also cursed by my curse. What if that’s why I feel so much despair flowing off him? There’s no way I can ask him that, though.

  Clutching a string of tickets in one hand, he laces his fingers through mine with the other then pulls me toward the Ferris wheel. “Come on, beautiful girl; no more frowning.”

  I was frowning? That thought is follow by, Beautiful girl?

  Nico seems oblivious to how his words affect me as he guides me past the food trucks, past the game booths, and to the short line in front of the Ferris wheel.

  “It looks like a death trap,” I mumble, angling my head back as I stare up at the spinning wheel of doom.

  He squeezes my hand. “Nothing bad will happen, I promise.”

  I rip my gaze away from the ride and focus on him. “Thanks for saying that, but sometimes stuff just happens. Rides break. People break. Crazy stuff happens all the time, and we can’t do anything about it.”

  “Hmm …” is
all he says with a musing look on his face. “I think we’re going to need a distraction while we’re on this.”

  “I could close my eyes,” I offer as we move forward in line, closer to my impending demise.

  He shields his eyes from the sun as he shakes his head. “Nah. You need to keep your eyes open, or you won’t enjoy this.”

  “I don’t know if I agree with you.” I clamp down on his hand as we make our way up the ramp.

  Nico hands the carny our tickets, and then we seat ourselves in a red chair. Seconds later, the carny pulls the metal bar down in front of us, securing us in, and then we’re suddenly moving.

  Dizziness swims in my head as our chair rises toward the sky. I tighten my hold on Nico’s hand, squeezing my eyes shut.

  “Everly,” he says softly. “Nothing is going to happen. When you’re with me, you’re safe.”

  I crack one eye open. “You say that like you have control over everything.”

  He maintains my gaze, his smoldering eyes gleaming against the sunlight. “Maybe I do.”

  I swallow hard. I don’t even know why. I mean, he didn’t mean that literally …

  Did he?

  Before I can overanalyze, he heaves an audible sigh. “I guess I’m going to have to take a different approach to this.” He inhales and exhales, suddenly seeming nervous himself. “I guess you get to cross off number seventeen today, too.”

  I sift through my memories, desperate to remember what number seventeen was. However, all thoughts evacuate my head as he leans in.

  Holy freaking hell. Is he about to kiss me?

  His lips brush against mine, and I gasp as overwhelming despair pours past my lips and spills down my throat.

  I’m drowning! I’m dying!

  I fight back a choke.

  Do not throw up on this beautiful, tortured guy, Everly. Don’t you dare!

  I start to withdraw when he parts my lips with his tongue, and all my worry melts into a gooey puddle, a warm, wonderful, butterfly-fluttering, I-can’t-breathe-but-in-the-best-way-possible puddle. I bring my hands to his shoulders, clutching on for dear life.

  Groaning, he deepens the kiss, his hand finding my waist, fingers delving into the inch of flesh peeking out from the hem of my shirt. We kiss as the Ferris wheel rotates, going up and down, around and around. I hardly notice as my tongue tangles with Nico’s.

  I’ve never been kissed before, but I dreamed about it a freakin’ ton. my dreams were seriously lacking. Really, really seriously lacking.

  “Your skin’s so soft,” he whispers against my lips, tracing his finger across my waist. Then he dips his head, stealing another kiss. And another. “You taste so good … even better than I thought.”

  He thought about kissing me?

  Before I can even process that, he goes in for another kiss.

  By the time the ride stops, my lips are swollen and my skin hums everywhere his fingers touched. Is this what I’ve been missing? All this time. This … this warmth … This bubbling wave of excitement. The tingles. The flutters. The everything.

  God, I’m turning into a sap, and honestly, I don’t really care at the moment. Not when sappy is this good.

  “Am I alive?” he whispers when the cart jolts to a halt at the bottom.

  My eyelids pop open. “Huh?”

  He opens his eyes, and a relaxed smile spreads across his face. “It’s nothing. I just felt so calm that I was beginning to wonder if maybe I’d died or something.”

  I start to smile when a rush of heart-stopping pain pummels through me. I hunch over, crying out from the pain of despair piercing me, like knives lodge in my flesh, the taste of despair in his kiss catching up to me times a hundred.

  “What’s wrong?” Panic laces his voice.

  “Nothing … I just …” I suck in sharp breaths through gritted teeth. “I think I have a stomach cramp from skipping breakfast.” A ridiculous lie, but the eternity of misery suddenly bearing down on me makes it hard to think clearly.

  Nico sweeps my hair out of my eyes, his fingers noticeably shaking. “Are you sure that’s it? If it’s something else—something you think is weird—you can tell me.” He cups my cheek and tilts my head back to meet my gaze. “I can handle weird stuff better than most people.”

  God, it’s like he knows about the curse. And I want nothing more than to tell him.

  Can I do that? Can I tell him about my curse?

  My inner voice laughs at me. Are you stupid?

  “I think I just need to get something to eat,” I continue the lie, wishing I could go back in time to one minute ago. Back to when I felt a flicker of happiness, maybe for the first time in my entire life.

  Chapter 12

  Nico

  The pain on Everly’s face is all too familiar. It’s the pain stemming from a thousand centuries of despair.

  While I’m not positive, I have to wonder if my kiss caused it. That, during the brief contact of our lips, I somehow transferred a part of my curse into her. Or maybe she took it out of me. How, though, I have no fucking clue.

  No matter how much I press Everly for the truth, she continues to insist she’s just hungry. I don’t believe her, but I take her to get some food, anyway.

  After she devours a funnel cake and chases it down with a soda, she sits back on the bench with a breathy sigh. “I feel so much better. It’s amazing what a little sugar can do.” She licks a drop of powdered sugar off her lips, and the move draws all of my attention to her mouth.

  I start to lean in, craving the taste of her again, but freeze when her eyes widen.

  I blink out of my daze, realizing I may have been right about the kiss.

  Shit.

  “Maybe we should call it a day,” I suggest, though it’s the last thing I want to do.

  Stay here. With her. That’s what I want.

  If only.

  She shakes her head, strands of brown hair falling into her eyes. “No way. We’re just getting started.” She sucks her bottom lip between her teeth. “And things were just getting interesting.”

  “But you’re sick.” Guilt crushes my chest, threatening to crack my ribcage apart. All that pain she’s feeling, and she doesn’t even know it’s from you.

  “No, I was sick.” She stands, snatches ahold of my hand, and hauls me to my feet. “Now I feel better.” When I frown, she heaves an exasperated sigh. “I appreciate you being concerned about me, but I’m feeling a ton better.” Her sugar-kissed lips spread into a grin, as if to prove her point. “And I really, really don’t want to go home and sit around. I’ve spent my whole life doing that.”

  Well, fuck. How can I deny her after she says that?

  Besides, I’m supposed to get closer to her.

  Shit. Somehow, through all the smiling and the kiss, I forgot about the curse and preparing for war, which is the point of all this.

  I shake my head at myself. How damn selfish am I, thinking all of this when my family’s being forced to serve the gods in the After Kingdom?

  “All right. We’ll continue,” I tell her. “But you have to promise to tell me if you start feeling sick again.”

  She nods then tentatively tangles her fingers through mine. “So, what’s next on the list?”

  I waver, unsure whether to tell her. “It’s a surprise.”

  She gives me a skeptical look. “It’s the cliff one, isn’t it?”

  When I nod, a frown etches on her face.

  “Sorry, but I thought it’d be better to just get all the height ones out of the way. Today is the Ferris wheel, the cliff, and the tree.”

  Her nose scrunches, but she shakes the look away. “You know what? I think I’m okay with the height thing.” She nibbles on her bottom lip again. “The Ferris wheel turned out to not be completely horrible like I expected.”

  Fuuuuckkk. She needs to stop looking at me like that before the weak, pathetic willpower I have left crumbles.

  “But, anyway.” She clears her throat, a flush crawling up her cheek
s as she fetches the list from the pocket of her shorts. “I am able to cross off one, seventeen, and twenty-one already.”

  I lean over to see what’s written beside the last number and grow confused. “Wait. You were happy?”

  She shrugs, her cheeks bright pink. “Maybe for a little bit”—her voice lowers to a mumble—“while we were kissing.”

  I don’t know how I feel about that. Part of me is thrilled by her confession, part of me is shocked as fuck, and part of me feels guilty. She doesn’t know me at all, not the real me. She doesn’t even know the real reason I’m spending time with her.

  I’m the biggest fucking asshole ever.

  My lips part … in an apology? A fucking lie? Who knows? I never do get to find out, either, because the words die on my lips as tension ripples up my back.

  I whip my head up, my gaze sweeping the booths, the food carts, the people wandering around.

  Something otherworldly is here.

  No one and nothing appear out of the ordinary, but that doesn’t mean anything.

  “We should go.” I tug on Everly’s hand as I stride for the parking lot. Despair rolls over me in a massive, powerful wave, nearly knocking me to the dirt. I realize how at peace I felt for the last several minutes and wonder if the gods have come to strike me dead. Days ago, I might have welcomed a bloody death, but now, I need to stay alive and fight.

  “Aw, crap,” Everly mutters as we near my motorcycle parked at the back of the parking lot.

  “What?” I ask, tracking her gaze to a red Porsche parked next to my ride. Well, not necessarily the car, but the jackass standing next to it.

  Leo straightens his stance as we near him, his eyes narrowing on Everly. “Oh, look, if it isn’t the psycho bitch and her little guard dog.”

  “Watch it,” I warn. “Or this time, you won’t walk away.”

  His jaw ticks. “Maybe I won’t give up so easily this time.”

  I eye him over. “Yeah, I think I’m pretty safe. We both know you only fight people weaker than you.”

  “Fuck you, Nico.” His body trembles, his face turning bright red. “You think you’re so fucking tough, but you’re not! No one even likes you.”