The Hero of Hope Springs

by Maisey Yates

  She had never really engaged in romance.

  She had all these words for what was simply a desperate attempt to deal with the loneliness inside her heart.

  Yes, she had connections with Ryder and his family. Had all kinds of different emotional needs met through them. But it wasn’t being held by someone. And so she had gone out and had physical relationships, as well. Had played at light romantic connections that she knew weren’t going anywhere so that she could fill the different gaps in her life, in her soul, without anything becoming all-consuming.

  And wasn’t that the same thing she was trying to do with the baby? It had been. An attempt to get herself something without hoping for everything.

  She didn’t know what this was, this thing with Ryder. Her making breakfast, him kissing her neck. Then he pushed his hands underneath her shirt, brought his rough palms up to cup her breasts.

  “Hey,” she said, wiggling out of his hold. “We’re in public.”

  “We’re in my kitchen. Early in the morning.”

  “Not as early as usual.”

  “No,” he said. “I overslept. Some wicked woman kept me up most of the night.”

  “That’s funny. Some asshole guy did the same thing to me.”

  “It’s kind of funny,” he said. “Knowing after all this time just how sexy that body of yours is. I had my suspicions...”

  “You know,” she said. “I was thinking the same thing. How fascinating it is to know that you can do those things with your fingers. And your tongue.” She shivered in memory. “All this time I didn’t know.”

  She started to pick up the plate of eggs and toast, but he stopped her, bracing her hand down on the counter with his over the top of hers and kissing her deep on the mouth.

  She kissed him back. She could have kissed him forever. And she couldn’t recall ever feeling that way about a kiss.

  He was a fascinating study in textures. His whiskers scratchy, his lips hot and firm, his tongue slick. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he brought his hands down to her hips, her body pressed hard against the countertop as he arched himself into her, letting her feel the full force of his erection nestled there between her thighs.

  “Oh... Oh, holy shit!”

  They jumped apart and turned, and Rose was standing in the doorway, her mouth wide open.

  “You... You... Why do you have her tongue in your mouth?”

  Fear was the first emotion that Sammy felt, and she wasn’t really sure why. Only that her throat felt like it was getting too tight.

  “Rose...”

  “You two are practically...brother and sister.”

  “We are not,” Ryder said. “Practically or otherwise.”

  “I thought that Logan liked you,” Rose said, clearly agog.

  “He doesn’t,” Sammy said.

  “Did you...”

  “I’m not answering questions,” Ryder said. “I’m a grown-ass man, and I have a sex life. You may not want to think about it, but I’ve had one since you can remember, okay?”

  “I’m... I’m emotionally scarred. My eyes are bleeding. It’s like seeing siblings make out.” She frowned. “Or like seeing my parents make out.”

  “Get out,” Ryder said.

  “I don’t know what to do with this.” Rose covered her forehead with her hand.

  “I didn’t ask you to do anything with it.”

  She slapped her hand back down at her side. “Am I supposed to keep it a secret?”

  “Well, you may have noticed that we didn’t exactly make an announcement about it.”

  “Are you...”

  “There are no good answers to any of your questions,” he said. “Shout it from the high heavens for all I care. I don’t. But don’t embarrass Sammy. If you can’t talk about it without being embarrassing, or being awful, you’re going to have to keep your damn mouth shut, kid.”

  “I just...”

  “I made bacon-and-egg sandwiches,” Sammy said. “Why don’t you sit with us and have one.”

  “No, thank you,” she said. “I have to go...bleach my brain.”

  “Well, why don’t you take a sandwich on your way.” Sammy held it out and Rose looked at it skeptically, like it might have cooties. “The sandwich was not used for anything untoward,” Sammy said.

  Rose blanched. “Honestly. That doesn’t make it better. That didn’t help at all. Because now I’m wondering about what you could have possibly done with the sandwich that would be considered... No. I don’t want it. Enjoy your sandwich. I’m not going to...say anything. To anyone. You’re right. You didn’t tell anyone. I just had the bad luck of walking in while you were...well, eating each other’s faces.”

  “Eloquent,” Sammy said.

  “Charming,” Ryder added.

  “I try to be both,” Rose said. “As often as possible. The opportunity so rarely presents itself. And yet, here we are.”

  “You’re mostly mad because you got it wrong about Logan,” Ryder said.

  “Well,” she said, her visible deflation at that confirming Ryder’s statement. Rose didn’t like to be wrong. “I’ll have to think of someone else for him.”

  “Will you?” Ryder asked, his tone dry.

  “Yes. He is actually like a brother to me. And one of my dearest friends in the entire world when I don’t want to punch him in the face. So yes, I’ve been scheming a little bit to make him happy. And I thought maybe it might help Sammy to...”

  “Or, you could just give up meddling,” Sammy said.

  “Well, that would be boring,” Rose said, brightening. “At least this isn’t boring.”

  “So glad we could entertain you,” Ryder said. “Now, go on. Get out of here. Get.” He said the last one like he was trying to get rid of a perfectly ridiculous dog.

  Rose didn’t have to be asked again.

  That left just the two of them, and four sandwiches.

  “Well. That was...”

  “Who cares?” he asked.

  “Don’t you think it will be awkward when... I don’t know. This runs its course?”

  “I’m not sure that I’m thinking of it that way,” he said.

  “You’re not?”

  “There’s no point thinking that way,” he said. “You’re in my life. The way that you’ve always been. And sure, things are a little bit different with the way that we’re...with all of this. But you’re going to be in my life, Sammy. That’s just the truth of it. You can count on it. Count on me.”

  “I do,” she said. “I mean, I trust you. I do.”

  “Then don’t think of it that way. I’m not ashamed of anything we’ve done. I’m not ashamed of you.”

  “I’m not ashamed of you,” she said.

  “I didn’t mean to imply that you might be. But I just wanted you to know... I’m not. And I don’t care if they know.”

  There was a lot underneath that, she was sure.

  He’d spent so many years sacrificing for them. She could see why he didn’t want to do it now.

  “How many women have you been with, do you think?”

  He drew back, snorting. “What the hell kind of question is that?”

  “I mean, you’ve spent a really long time just kind of...being good to everybody. And going out of town to hook up and whatever. I know you haven’t had relationships...”

  “I don’t know,” he said. “I mean... I hook up. I have since high school. I don’t count them.”

  She nodded. “All right. Same. But like...those things were different than this. But all those guys I sort of knew, but I didn’t know, you know?”

  “I expect that has something to do with it,” he said.

  “I thought I understood sex but this feels like a totally different thing.”

  “Yeah,” he said. “Because it is.”
/>
  Then they set about to eating their food, and she had to agree with him. This was different. Like a different thing entirely.

  So yeah, maybe they didn’t have to try to see it through to the inevitable conclusion. Maybe all they had to do was be in the moment.

  She really, really liked the moment.

  In fact, she liked it more than any other moment she’d ever been in in all of her life.

  And that was something to hang on to.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  THEY WEREN’T ALL that careful over the next few weeks. If people in the family other than Rose had figured out something was going on, Sammy wouldn’t be all that surprised.

  It was impossible for her to keep from giving Ryder lingering looks during the day. Impossible to keep from sharing secret smiles with him. There were so many secret things to smile about. Truly, she felt like she was in some kind of weird haze of bliss she hadn’t known was possible.

  If her moment of insanity regarding pregnancy had led here, then she was happy to have had her small psychotic break.

  It was well worth it.

  And today she was engaging in one of her favorite pastimes. In fact, she might have called it one of her top two favorite pastimes until she had discovered sex with Ryder. But today was canning day. A day that she and Iris looked forward to every year. They would make all kinds of things. Jam and preserved lemons. Pickles and peppers.

  It was a lot of work, but it was fun. And today they had managed to enlist the help of Rose and Pansy. She was happy to see Pansy—who she had seen a bit less of since her relationship with West had gotten started.

  She understood.

  It was normal to separate often to make your own thing. It was. Exceedingly and wonderfully normal.

  And she was working very hard at not resenting it at all. Because she didn’t have any call to. Pansy had a right to a normal life.

  Anyway, Sammy didn’t need normal. Not as long as she had Ryder.

  “I want spicy pickles this year,” Rose announced when they had everything set out in front of them.

  “We have to have regular ones, too,” Pansy said. “West can’t tolerate that kind of heat.”

  “Bless,” Iris said.

  “I thought he was a tough ex-convict!” Rose hooted.

  “Well, he doesn’t like spicy food.”

  “He’s...mostly a Texan. That’s kind of shameful.”

  “That’s not why I love him,” Pansy said.

  “Why do you love him?” Rose asked.

  Pansy’s response was to blush to the roots of her hair.

  Sammy grinned. “See. Good for you. And it all happened because you took my advice.”

  Iris scowled. “Yes, and it could’ve also backfired. In fact, it very nearly did.”

  “But it didn’t,” Sammy said cheerfully. “Love prevailed in the end.”

  As she said it, the word caught in her breastbone. Then she realized... She realized just what awful advice she had given to Pansy. And so cavalierly. Because she hadn’t really understood. Because for her, sex had never been intimate. Because she had worked so hard at compartmentalizing all of her emotions. And it had been helped by the fact that none of it had ever been terribly physically satisfying.

  She could have ruined Pansy’s life.

  She started fiddling with all of the canning supplies, blinking rapidly.

  “What?” Iris asked.

  “Are you okay?” That question came from Rose, and the fact that it was sincere made Sammy slightly concerned that Rose was connecting some of the issues that Sammy was currently having with the situation with Ryder. True to her word, Rose hadn’t said anything. It surprised Sammy a bit that Rose—who was a notorious loudmouth—had kept her counsel quite so well. But she had.

  Sammy wasn’t really sure why she cared if Rose told. Ryder clearly didn’t. But it did come back to that intimacy thing. A funny thing. Because she would’ve thought she’d have been the first one to share. Of course, it was awkward because it was Iris, Pansy and Rose’s brother. And they certainly didn’t want to hear about his prowess, but still.

  She didn’t want to share about it anyway. No matter what. Whether it was weird for them or not. She wanted to keep it to herself. She wanted it to be her secret. She wanted it to be her thing to marvel at.

  Suddenly, she felt oddly emotional. And the vinegar in the room smelled too strong. She didn’t like it.

  “I don’t know. I want to do the jam,” she said. She wrinkled her nose. “Something smells off.”

  “Nothing smells off,” Pansy said.

  “I think it does. And no offense, Pansy, but I don’t necessarily trust your culinary sensibilities over mine.”

  “I don’t think anything smells off,” Iris said.

  “Well. It does,” Sammy said. Suddenly, she felt resolute in that.

  “Fine,” Iris said. “I’ll check everything over.”

  “Dammit,” Pansy said, grimacing. She clutched her side. “Do any of you have any fem pro?”

  “Pads or tampons?” Iris asked.

  Sammy blinked.

  Pads or tampons.

  Pads or tampons.

  Neither of which she had used for longer than she ought to have not used them.

  Holy. Shit.

  She just stood there while the sisters moved around her, while Iris gave blithe directions as to where Pansy might find her tampons. Pansy, who was engaged. And in love. And who would probably find it positive news if she didn’t need feminine protection.

  “What’s wrong?” Rose asked, her expression far too insightful.

  “Nothing,” Sammy said vaguely.

  Except now she felt nauseated combined with the fact that she didn’t like the vinegar smell. The vinegar, which smelled weird. Which was definitely a symptom of something she didn’t much want to think about. But one that connected very much to a missed period.

  “What’s wrong?” Rose asked again.

  “I just... I think that I... I...”

  “You look like you’re going to be sick.”

  “Oh, my gosh,” Iris said, crossing the kitchen. “You’re white as a sheet. Sit down.”

  And suddenly, Sammy did feel light-headed, and she swayed. She found herself being propelled by Rose and Iris, out into the living room, where they sat her down on the couch. Pansy reemerged only moments later, her expression filled with concern.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Sammy isn’t feeling well,” Iris said.

  “No,” Rose said. “She’s not.”

  And she didn’t want to talk about it. She really didn’t. And she didn’t want to do this on her own, either. And didn’t want to talk to Ryder unless she was absolutely certain.

  No. She couldn’t let Ryder know. Not unless she knew for a fact. Thank God he wasn’t home.

  “I think I need a pregnancy test,” Sammy blurted out.

  “You what?” Pansy and Iris asked in unison.

  Rose, however, was still.

  “I’m late. When Pansy asked for tampons it reminded me. I should have started my period like four days ago.”

  “Oh,” Iris said. “Are you usually regular?”

  “Pretty regular. I mean, it could be nothing. But on the other hand...it definitely could be something.”

  It was just all very suspicious that she would suddenly be late when she had also had unprotected sex just the right amount of time ago.

  “One of us can get it for you,” Rose said.

  “That’s going to cause serious issues,” Iris said.

  “Pansy can do it,” Rose said. “Pansy is engaged.”

  “Pansy is on her period,” Pansy said. “It’s ridiculous.”

  “No one else will know that,” Rose said. “Anyway, it’s the most reasonable.
If I go buy one, Ryder is going to start roaming the town looking for someone to beat up. And if Iris does...well, people will start wondering about virgin births.”

  “Excuse me,” Iris said. “And wouldn’t they wonder the same thing about you?”

  Rose shrugged. “I’m a wild card.”

  Iris’s brown eyes went narrow. “Not as much as you think.”

  “I can get my own pregnancy test.”

  “You don’t need to,” Pansy said. “I’ll be back in fifteen minutes. None of you move. And I’m going to have to call my fiancé on the way and make sure he knows that whatever rumors he hears...aren’t true.”

  “Pansy...”

  “It’s fine,” Pansy grumbled. “Exactly what I want. Rumors about the chief of police being knocked up.”

  She was gone for thirteen and a half minutes, and when she returned she also had a box of pads and a box of tampons. And a bottle of wine.

  “I thought I would throw them off my scent.”

  “Super sneaky,” Iris said, rolling her eyes.

  “Well,” Rose said. “Go take it.”

  “You seem very keen to get the answer,” Iris said.

  “Well, aren’t you?”

  But Sammy knew why Rose was so keen. It was because she knew who the father was. Or at least suspected.

  “I’ll go,” Sammy said.

  Rose followed for a moment, and Sammy turned to her. “Don’t say anything. Not yet.”

  Rose shook her head. “I won’t. Would it be... I mean... Is it his?”

  “It would be,” she said.

  “I didn’t think you were going to do the baby thing.”

  “I wasn’t,” Sammy said. “And I need to know before I say anything to him. I need to know for sure.”

  “We’re here for you,” Rose whispered, squeezing her arm.

  She had never known her friend to be quite so mature, and she really appreciated it. Because she was going to need all the support she could get.

  And by the time she opened up the pregnancy test and took it, and got the results, she really knew she was going to need all the support she could get.

  Because she was going to have a baby. Ryder’s baby. And everything should have seemed all right, but instead she felt like the world had been turned upside down, and she didn’t have any idea what she was going to do.