by Beck, J. L.
“I haven’t actually. I didn’t realize that they could actually be this clean.” For three guys living here the place looks excellent; like better than mine and Mimi’s house.
“Just because were assholes doesn’t mean were slobs. We like nice things; therefore we take care of them.” There’s a lace of anger to his voice and I don’t know what it could be that I’ve done to make him mad. I didn’t actually accuse them of being slobs did I?
“I didn’t mean it…”
“I know you didn’t mean it like that.” He says cutting me off. I quietly walk over to the couch, hoping that Rex shows up soon. These mood swings that Ryder keeps throwing out are giving me whiplash.
“You want a water?” He asks from somewhere over to my left. I turn around trying to find him.
“Uh yeah, sure.” Wow, this is awkward. When I spot him, I see that he hasn’t put any clothes on yet. So much for being modest, I snort to myself, like I should expect anything modest from a Winchester.
“Here.” He says handing the water bottle over. I try my hardest to avert my eyes anywhere else but at his sleek, abs, the ripples and the V. The V!!!! Must not look at your boyfriend’s brother.
I gaze back up deciding that if I have to look at him, the safest area would be to look at his face. A smug smile sits there, the same one he had on his face when I met him. The one I punched off his face.
“Do you think maybe you could, go put some clothes on. Please?” I ask frowning, because I know all too well he doesn’t give a shit what I have to say. I put myself in this situation, time to get myself out of it. He laughs, making his way around the couch taking a seat on the nearby recliner.
“Does this bother you dear Jenna?” Is he fucking stupid. Of course it bothers me. It’s like looking at a clone of the man I love. I can’t help but feel a tug towards him, though his shitty attitude really reminds me that he’s nothing like Rex. All that he and Rex share is DNA, which makes them twins. Otherwise they’re nothing alike. Rex is warm, inviting, and loving. Ryder is dark, and brooding. Somewhere along the way I know someone did something to him to make him the way he is.
“Yeah it bothers me. I don’t get you at all Ryder. Not at all. Every time I think I have you figured out, I end up somewhere in left field. What are you hiding? What is your problem?” I want to bite my tongue so bad, but as a friend I feel the duty to ask, even beg.
A look of astonishment crosses his face. “What am I hiding? What’s my problem?” He grits out. “You wanna know what my problem is?” He demands. I nod my head yes afraid that I won’t be able to form words. He’s unbelievably intimidating when he wants to be.
“You.” He says venom in his voice. I can’t hide the shock. Me? What have I done to him? All I ever tried to do was….
My thoughts are cut off as the air is pushed from my chest from Ryder’s body colliding with mine. His lips find mine, and I go ramrod straight against his touch. Who in the honest to god fuck does he think he is? I push on him as hard as I can, but before I can get him off of me, the door opens and all I can do is pray it’s not Rex.
“Get the fuck off my girlfriend.” Rex’s voice resonates through my mind. Ryder is pulled from me and thrown to the floor. That doesn’t mean I don’t catch the smile that marks his face. He wanted this; he wanted Rex to think something was going on. Rex bends down, anger evident in the way he pulls his fist back to punch him. A distinct crunching sound pulls me from haze I was rooted in.
“Stop. Stop.” I beg, grabbing Rex by the shoulder. He shrugs my hand off, as if it’s nothing. I crawl in-between them protecting Ryder, even though he doesn’t deserve it. Rex lowers his fist the second he takes notice of my body shielding Ryder’s.
“It’s not worth killing your brother over. I’m not worth it.” I mutter, out of breath. He glares at Ryder over my shoulder. Blood is on his fist, and I can’t believe that I caused such a problem. Rex walks into the kitchen and grabs a roll of paper towels, wiping the blood from his hands, and kneels on the ground near Ryder’s head.
“If you ever, touch her a-fucking-gain I will bury you in the ground. You might be my brother but you don’t touch what is mine. Ever. Are we clear?” There’s a sadness that seeps into the room, taking all the oxygen with it.
“Yeah, but it was worth it.” Ryder says smiling, his once white teeth covered in blood. I look away realizing that Ryder’s towel has now fallen off.
“Also put on some fucking clothes.” Rex stands, and looks down on me for a second longer than needed. I wonder if he thinks it’s my fault, if I caused this. Hell, I wonder if I caused it. Did I give Ryder the wrong idea?
A sing song voice I know too well sounds from the doorway. I look up toward the door, and see one person I thought for sure I would never have to face again. Marie. Her hair is all over the place, and she’s carrying a bag similar to the one Rex brought in. My mind starts playing tricks on me as I look between the two of them. A smooth grin forms on her face.
“Wow Jenna. Can’t have just one, gotta have em all?” Her voice is like pouring acid in my eyes. It makes blood boil. I sneer at her, ready to get up and hulk slam her through the concrete.
“Knock it off Marie.” Rex says, offering me a hand up off the floor. I look at it, and then back at her. A twinkle is in her eye as she stares at Rex while biting her lip. I right myself and push Rex’s hand away, not taking his offer to help me up.
“Awe baby, what happened?” She says walking up to Rex, pawing at his shirt. Apparently the bitch wants to die. Then again, maybe he’s been with her the whole time.
“Get your fucking hands off of me.” He yells, pushing her hands away. Anger floods me, but so does jealousy. I’m jealous and it hurts. I’m afraid, everything I taught myself not to believe I’m starting to revolt to. Rex reaches a hand out to me, his eyes urging to meet mine. I retreat taking a step back and running into the couch.
“Just… Don’t… Don’t I need some time?” I mutter afraid tears may fall if I don’t make it out of the room. It’s like high school all over again.
“Awe, trouble in paradise already? I’m here all weekend if you want a good time Rex.” Marie, the bitch, says as I head towards the door. Rex reaches out for me again and our eyes meet. He looks scared, and in pain as if the reason for him to breathe is walking out the door. I pull away, and get out the door just as I hear him let out a roar, his voice echoing my name down the hall. I run to my apartment and lock the door just as the tears start to fall. I know he probably didn’t do anything wrong. The last three months he’s shown me love and compassion and he’s gained my trust, but I couldn’t breathe back there, too many memories.
I walk over to the couch grabbing a pillow and screaming into it, draining every last ounce of anger and hate into it. I don’t want to carry this weight around. I don’t want to ruin my relationship with Rex.
The pounding on my door starts and I feel like running and crying. I feel the anger vibrating off of him on the other side of the door. I’m pretty slim on options here, I can let him continue to be a bull in a china shop and someone possibly call the police on him or I can open the door and try and make amends. This is it, we’ll either make it or break it.
I open the door and take notice of his heartbroken face. His arms wrap around me tightly, holding me as if trying to imprint me upon him. His heart beats erratically in rhythm with my own.
“I thought I lost you. I fucking thought I lost you.” He says kissing my hair, and every orifice of my face. His face upon mine makes me aware that there’s wetness on his face. He lets go of me, still holding me in place. His eyes delve into mine, digging into my heart making sure that I’m still with him, that my heart still beats for him.
“I swear I didn’t fucking touch her. I haven’t lied to you, she’s there for Ryder. Please say you believe me, please… just say something.” He begs, and pleads.
“I know you didn’t. I know it was just too much. It was suffocating. Being around her it reminded me too much of wha
t I went through. Plus she hasn’t changed much. It was like reliving it.” I say into his chest, breathing in his sweet aroma.
“When I told you that I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you I meant it Jenna. I meant it in here,” he says pointing at his heart. “When I met you I knew I had to be around you. I wanted to be wherever you were and I’d known you only a day.”
Have you ever just met someone and they affect your life in such a way that it makes your outlook on things change? Whether it was a good or bad affect, it still made some type of impact on you? It taught you the highs and lows, and eventually you that life has its valleys and peaks, and someday you’re not always going to be at the top. Well Rex taught me that, he taught me that we all make mistakes and go through highs and lows. Sometimes it takes seeing a bad decision and the effect it has on someone to change. We’re not perfect, and life is not perfect and I’m okay with that.
My eyes bleed into his. There’s uncertainty between us, but we both know it’s going to happen.
I take his hand and lead him down the hall to my room. I close the door behind us; the distance between us is too much. He looks around and I mean really looks, not just at me. I stand by the door as he makes his way over to my dresser, his finger running over the pictures of me and Mimi I have on it.
“You looked so happy then.” He faintly whispers and looks over at me. I nod my head.
“That’s probably because I was. That photo was taken my freshmen year of High School.” I walk the short distance between us and grab hold of the picture. Mimi and I were messing with the new camera her mom bought just taking random photos. This one we loved so much because we’re looking at each other with our noses pressed together. We both had cheesy grins on our faces.
“You don’t smile like that anymore.” He replies.
“Yeah I do.”
“No you don’t. In this picture your smile meets your eyes and you can tell you’re happy. I never see you like that.”
“Yeah you do. Because you make me that kind of happy. Being with you and having you back makes me that kind of happy.” I wrap my arms around him as best I can, just wanting to hold him. He picks me up and carries me over to my bed. Setting me down I roll over to my side and face him where he lays next to me.
His hand reaches over and he starts to rub small circles on the small of my back, relaxing me. You know you’re in love when the person that means the most to you touches you, and all your worries and pain melt away.
“I love you.” He whispers against my cheek. I know where this is going. I’ve been waiting for this day forever; to finally be one with him. I take my hands and encompass his face bringing his lips to mine, not wanting to wait another minute. The tenderness of his kiss sends shock waves through me. How he can go from fighting someone, to being impossibly soft with me. He sits up pulling his shirt off, as he slides his body over mine. The contours of his body fuse with mine, and it’s as if we’re a perfect fit.
“Are you sure you want to?” He asks his breath already shallow. I can feel his erection poking into my stomach, and the fact that I do that to him turns me on more. I nod my head yes, and grab him again begging him with my lips to show me the love he says he has for me. I tug at my top wanting to be free of all clothes, wanting to be able to glide my body against his. To be one.
“You look fucking beautiful.” He mumbles against my lips as he crashes down on me with urgency in his kiss. Our lips never separate as he unbuttons my shorts and I shimmy out of them. He breaks free to look at me.
With my top and shorts gone his kisses become more intense, my heart starts beating out of control as his mouth trails kisses down my neck and onto my chest. He looks up at me to make sure I’m okay, and then pulls the cups on my bra down exposing my breasts. He places small kisses on the nipples and works his way around the areola. The sensations sky rocket through me as he finally takes my nipple into his mouth. I arch up into him wanting more, so much more. He kneads my other breast making sure they get equal attention.
I feel something building deep within my body, something I’ve never felt before. I let out a loud groan and bite my lip to help stifle the noise. I can feel Rex smile against my skin. I look down and watch him as he releases my nipple, and a loud popping sound resonates through the room.
“Be loud. Scream. I want you to be vocal. You want it harder tell me, you want it nice and slow you tell me. I’ll give you whatever you want baby.” I can’t form a response let alone a coherent thought so I just let out another moan to affirm him that I heard him.
He licks a path down my chest, and onto my belly. He hits the very top of my underwear and places his hands on the white lace, his fingers tracing against my hip. “These are so sexy baby.” Suddenly I feel nervous this is going to happen, we’re going to do it. His fingers pull on my underwear as he slides them down my sides at a slow pace. The anticipation is killing me. He throws them across his shoulder as he gives me a one dimple smile.
“Are you ready for me baby?” He asks situating himself between my legs. Suddenly he’s sliding down the bed, lying on his forearms, his face directly about my vagina. Oh shit. I’ve never done this before. He knows that. My face grows red with embarrassment.
“I’ve… Never done this before.” I say meekly, afraid that I may have ruined the moment.
“I know I’m going to be your first, open up real wide babe. I’m going to be the first to feast on this.” He says skimming his finger in between my seams. I let out a gasp, between him talking dirty and his soft touches I could be over the edge in a moment. Hesitantly I spread my thighs, as a greedy smile forms on his face. His hands reach up and grip my hips pulling me into his mouth. I can feel his hot breath on my entrance. I don’t know about this Rex….
One finger slowly enters me as he licks me straight between my folds. It’s a deep lick, like the kind you would give an ice cream cone, trying to get every last drop of ice cream to savor the flavor. I let out a squeal and try and bring my legs together trapping his head in-between them. His finger starts to pick up more, as does the licking.
I feel myself reaching the edge, and the sensory overload on my mind is crazy. I grip at his hair, and let out a shudder, all it takes is one more push, one deeper lick and I cum right there for the first time on his face. He laps p my juices as if they’re his last drink of water.
He brings me to another orgasm, and by the time he’s done. I’m worked over very well. I smile up at him as he reaches over into his wallet and grabs a condom. . We never talked about protection but I’m glad he thought of it. He slips it on, positioning himself at my entrance.
“Are you sure you want this? There’s no going back after this. I let you walk away once before, if we do this you’ll be mine. I’m branding a part of myself on you by doing this.” His voice is possessive, and there’s a hunger in his eyes like I’ve never seen.
“Yes.” I say reaching up and looking deep into his eyes. I nip at his lips begging for more. His tip pushes into me gently, and he kisses me with everything he has as he pushes in all the way. The sensation is filling, and as I gasp for breath I try to deal with the uncomfortable feeling; pricks of pain filter in and out as he moves slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. Sweat builds on his brow and I know the sheer focus and patience it’s taking him to not slam into me. After a few minutes the pain evaporates and I find myself moving in sync with him. His pace picks up, and I feel the distinct building again. The ecstasy of my last orgasm is still weighing heavy on my body.
“I’m so close.” I moan against his lips. He pushes in harder, pushing us over that last edge that we climbed together; making sure that we stick together the whole time. Our hearts are racing, and we’re both sticky with sweat. I cringe a little bit when he pulls out of me. That’s going to be sore tomorrow.
Pulling his underwear on he turns and gives me a once over, smiling before saying, “Stay put I’ll be right back.”
“Pretty sure I’m not going anywhere after that.” I say gi
ggling. A moment later he returns with a wash cloth, I watch him as he tends to me, feeling blessed to have such a great man.
“Just so you know what we just did makes you mine. You’ve always been mine Jenna. You just didn’t know it.” He sets the wash cloth on the nightstand and snuggles back into bed with me. I always knew this was where I belonged, right here with him. Through everything, there was no way I couldn’t forgive him. Yeah he fucked up, but we all do. I forgave Corey and what he did was way worse than what Rex ever did. Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants, and mine wants Rex Winchester.
Do I look different?
***
I roll over and collide with a warm body realizing the events from the evening before. I smile big as I feel the ache between my legs put there by the man I love. I look at the clock on the nightstand and know that I’m going to be late for class.
“Hey, sleepy head, I have to go to class.” I poke at his ribs, memorizing every divot and ripple as if this moment will never happen again. Then again I guess it never will since you can never take back your first time.
“No… Stay here with me, I will feed you, clean you, and do lots of other bad, bad, bad things to you.” He whispers into my ear, goose bumps erupting all over my skin.
“I would love to, but I can’t you know how important school is, and I have to check on Mimi. We may be an item now but she’s my best friend and I will dump you for some girl time.” I say, scowling at him. This affect he has on me could end badly if he keeps touching me or whispering to me, then I may not go anywhere.
He lets out a hefty laugh. “Oh I’ll let you have girl time, Mimi is way more than I could ever handle and no way am I going head to head with her over you.”
“Good. I have to get ready. I love you.” I whisper against his skin, my body betraying me telling me to lean closer to him. Damn you, you stupid body. You stupid hormones.
“Hey, thank you for last night. You have no idea what it means to me to be your first. I will cherish it and you forever.” I can see the love in his eyes, by the way he held me last night, and in the way he looks at me now. Everything seems to be different after you have sex with someone, you feel different and you look at that person different, or at least I do.