by Kailin Gow
But he didn't need a servant to satisfy his cravings this time. Not with Kalina in the next room. Thinking of her, he could not bring himself to even think about wanting anybody else. The old forms of sensuality – being pampered with massages or kisses, lithe young hands twisting and pounding into his aching muscles – no longer appealed to him. He did not want to lie back and receive the subservient pleasures a servant could offer. No, he wanted Kalina and only Kalina. Her touch was the only one that could satisfy him.
And then he heard a splash, and felt the water move all about him. Somebody else had joined him in the bath.
He looked up in surprise. Kalina was sitting before him, the lapping of the water just covering her naked breasts.
“Kalina!” Her proximity was enough to drive him mad. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to take a bath...” She smiled softly. “I woke up and wanted to warm up...the bed was so cold...and then I found you.”
He could make out the contours of her form beneath the waters of the bath. She leaned in to kiss him, moaning softly as his lips parted beneath hers. “We didn't finish what we came for,” she said, pushing her palms against his broad chest, pushing him back against the marble bathtub. Her eyes were wide with playful mock-innocence.
Octavius gave a deep sigh. How could he resist her – especially when she was so close to him? He could smell her, breathing in her intoxicating scent, her blood driving him mad, driving him to distraction. How could any man resist a woman like her? How could any vampire? She was sensuality personified – the Life's Blood creating in her a sensuality that drove him mad.
“You know exactly how to make me weak at the knees,” he murmured, bringing her naked frame closer to him. “You know exactly what to do.”
She kissed him, placing his hand upon her breasts. “Have you thought some more about what I asked?” Kalina looked up at him innocently. “Have you considered changing your mind?”
So that was what she wanted. He saw steel in her eyes – Kalina wanted to be turned, and she was going to do whatever it took to get what she wanted. How cunning she was – how clever! A woman like that was not to be taken lightly. But how he wanted to take her!
She took the soap and began lathering him up, pressing her lithe fingers into his back.
“Well, have you?” She leaned in and kissed his ear.
“No,” he said hoarsely. “I won't turn you.” His voice was grim. “No, there is no way I could do that, Kalina.”
“Why not?”
“Because,” Octavius sighed. This was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. “You have a gift. A destiny. You can't just give that up. No matter how much you love me, Kalina. No matter how much I love you – you have a destiny that goes beyond our love. That brings you further from me than I can bear. But I cannot bring myself to take that destiny from you.”
Kalina rose from the water, the soap clinging to her white, milky flesh. She was like Venus rising from the foam before him – the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. He had seen the most beautiful maidens in the world in his day, but none of them ever compared with her. Octavius stared up at her, stunned. Her beauty was overwhelming – indeed, it seemed that she had never been so beautiful as she was at this moment. She was regenerating, he knew. Her Life's Blood was returning to her, stronger than ever, making her more beautiful and more powerful than she had been ever before. And that meant, he knew, that her Life's Blood was slowly taking over from his blood in her. Soon their close bond would reset – the glory of the past few hours gone. Octavius sighed. It would happen sooner or later, he knew – their connection would go back to what it had been before. She would still love him, but they wouldn't have this same electric connection – a connection that made it impossible for him to resist her, and for her to resist him. He would have to compete once more with Jaegar and Stuart for her attention. And she wouldn't be able to see into his soul the way she did when his blood was in her body. She wouldn't be able to tell how much he loved her; she wouldn't be able to see the longing and desire in his eyes. He would have to push her away again. He knew that they couldn't remain like this – this weakened by their dual desire – forever. He knew that things would have to go back to normal – he would have to feign distance in order to protect her. And she would no longer be able to see through his mental defenses. She would no longer understand how much he loved her.
She saw the best in him – the side he didn't show to anyone else. To the others he had to be brave and strong, honorable and without emotion. He had to set an example for the other vampires – to behave better than the best of them, to inspire them to greatness. But behind closed doors, he could be soft. He could be tender. He could give himself over to love. She saw the humanity in him – a humanity he could not bear to lose.
Oh, why did he not turn her? Octavius raged against his sense of duty. How he longed to have his blood in her forever, to turn her into a vampire, to have her at his side all through what he knew would be an agonizing eternity of loneliness. If he turned her, he knew, she would have his blood in her for always; her Life's Blood would stop regenerating to wash away his influence on her. How happy he would be, he thought – an eternity with the woman he loved beyond reason.
But he loved her too much to let her do that. He loved her too much to destroy her life.
And the sun was falling in the sky. They would have to go back. They would have to face the truth.
He rose from the water, his chest glistening with soap. He went over to her, taking her hands, looking deep into her eyes, her nakedness rosy in the glimmer of sunset.
I love you so much, Kalina. Please do not be angry with me for my choice.
Her face fell.
“I love you too,” said Kalina sadly. “I just wish it could always be like this.”
“Believe me, Kalina, so do I.”
He bent over to kiss her, then, running his fingers through her sweet, perfumed wet hair. A kiss full of promise – and fuller still of regret.
Chapter 11
At last they broke apart, Octavius running his hands up and down her naked body. “You should get dressed,” he said softly. “As much as I enjoy seeing you like this – it’s almost time to go. And it’s cold out – colder still by nightfall. We need to get back soon. I have collected clothing here over the years – some may well be your size. Your dressing-gown was covered in blood…”
“Other clothes?” Kalina looked down. Had Octavius brought other women here over the years?
But she did not resist as she picked out a fur-lined jacket and wool pants, supplementing the outfit with warm gloves, a scarf, and leather boots. This was going to be a difficult night for her, she knew, and she couldn’t risk making herself sick. She would have to watch Justin turn – and she had no idea what she would do next. Thinking about Justin was making her crazy. How could she even bring herself to imagine what he would go through the moment he opened his eyes, the moment he realized that something was wrong?
“Justin…” Kalina sighed heavily. “It’s time to go back. We have to see him.” She wiped away the tears budding at the corners of her eyelids. “No matter what. I’m his little sister,” her voice trembled. “It’s my job to be there for him, no matter what.” She leaned in to embrace Octavius one last time, pressing the fur of her coat against his bare skin. Even without direct contact, touching him filled her with wanting. “I want to thank you,” she said. “For being there for me. For being there when I needed you. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d spent the day waiting – alone in the room, with Justin, with his body…”
Her voice began to shake.
Octavius nodded solemnly, taking her hands in his. “I understand completely,” he said, stroking Kalina’s hair. “You know, my dearest Kalina, that there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. You know how much I would do for you – how much I will always do for you. I love you, and nothing will change that, no matter what happens.” He led her downstairs via the Grand
Staircase. “I know you love history,” he said. “Its art. Its culture. Its treasures.” He smiled sadly. “If only we had more time here – I could show you all around. Tell you about these rooms. Give you their history. Tell you stories. Show you artifacts.” He sighed. “Perhaps one day we will come here again.” It was an impossible dream, Kalina knew. This was a one-day thing – a result of her grief and the pumping of his blood in her veins. Once the Life’s Blood in her regenerated, once the immediacy and numbness of her grief subsided, things would go back to normal. They would never have a day like this together again.
This time the journey back was quicker, and the sun was still golden in the air by the time they arrived back at the inn. “It’s much faster,” Kalina noted. “I thought we were much further off,” she mused.
“I must confess to a bit of deceit,” Octavius said. “I took you intentionally by the longer route. I wanted to spend as much time as possible alone with you – I didn’t want to be without you for a single second.” He smiled, his white teeth glimmering in the pink of sunset. “It felt so good, having you wrap your thighs around my chest, your arms around my neck. A pleasant weight.” He held her tighter. “Woman, you are torture to be around when one can’t have you.”
Kalina laughed. It felt good to laugh again, the midst of so much pain. “Maybe one time we can take that long route again,” she said.
He sighed. “I would like that very much.” He squeezed her hand as they flew faster. “One day,” he said.
“One day.”
What a happy dream, Kalina thought – and what an impossible reality. Too much divided them, she knew. But their love was stronger than ever.
“Too late this time, though.” Octavius nodded as the inn came into view before them. And then they were back in Kalina’s room, Justin lying pale and pallid upon the bed. She had always known that it was coming, that Justin’s body was there, but as she looked at him somehow Kalina felt that it was still a shock to her. Her whole body recoiled in horror; her blood burned her veins. This wasn’t a dream. This was real. Her brother was lying dead before her. Suddenly, all her thoughts of Octavius, of their snowy moonlight journey, of their fairy-tale day together in the castle, simply vanished. They were like a dream from which she had just awakened; she had returned into the harsh cruelty of truth.
Max and Stuart were standing vigil over Justin, watching him closely for any signs of turning. Max’s face was grim and angry; Stuart’s eyes were wide with pain, all the blood drained from his face.
They looked up at Kalina and Octavius as they entered, and Stuart’s eyes lit up with relief. “Kalina!” he cried, running to embrace her. His strong arms encircled her slender shoulders. “We didn’t know what happened to you – we thought you were injured. Your moth…I mean, Max, said that you were still alive, that she’d have felt it if you were dead, but we weren’t sure.”
Max said nothing, but only stared blankly at Kalina.
“Where were you?” Stuart examined her for any signs of injury, his hands running up and down her body. “We were so worried about you! Molotov took so much out of you…” His eyes fell upon her neck, where two puncture wounds had been replaced by clean, new skin. “How did you…” He looked up at Octavius and there he found his answer. “He healed you.”
“I did,” said Octavius warily.
Stuart tried to mask the savage jealousy that came over his face, but he could not. Kalina could hear straight through into his heart, his deepest and innermost thoughts. I never thought I would wish myself a vampire again. But now it is what I wish. It should have been my blood that healed her – not his. It is I who have bonded with her, and not he! Not my former maker, who condemned me to so many centuries of torment! If anyone should have saved her…
Kalina’s eyes widened with shock. She nearly fell over in surprise. Stuart had spent seven hundred years of his vampire life hating every minute of it. Would he really be willing to go through all that immortal torture again? For her? I have tasted her blood. I know its fruits. She had called out to me twice. She is mine now. I won’t let Octavius have her, not if it kills me. He is no longer my maker; I owe him no blood loyalty. I will fight him if I must. I will stake him, if only it means…
“Stuart!” Kalina interrupted his thoughts, taking his hands in hers. “You watched Justin for me. I can’t thank you enough…” Her voice was soft and soothing, and Stuart looked at least temporarily mollified. “I could never do this without you.”
Stuart’s hurt and anger seemed to subside; his expression took on a new gentleness. He wrapped his arms around her, stroking her hair. Octavius looked almost angry as Stuart kissed Kalina’s forehead. “I’m so sorry, Kalina,” he said. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to save him in time. I too know what it is like to lose a brother. And Justin was like a brother to me.”
Kal hugged him back, her mind shuffling through memories of him. She remembered the first time they had embraced, when she had comforted him over what she thought was Aaron’s death. Stuart knew the depths of her pain, as only someone who had lost a sibling could understand. Immediately as they touched, she felt a familiar heat in her skin. The familiar sign that Octavius’ influence was wearing off – her Life’s Blood was reacting with Stuart’s blood again. With each new pint of blood that her body brought forth, her connection with Stuart would grow stronger, her connection with Octavius weakening.
She looked up apologetically at Octavius, but his expression was a cipher to her. Only hours before, she had felt as if she were able to see into his very soul. But now she felt no such thing. He was as distant from her as he had always been. Kalina’s heart ached with his loss – even as her body responded to Stuart’s touch.
Poor Stuart. He had always been so kind to her, so good. From the start, he had loved her; he had treated her so wonderfully! Always made her feel special. Needed. Loved.
And Justin had loved him too. Kalina felt tears come to her eyes as she remembered how Stuart had made breakfast for her and Justin, how the two of them had bonded. Justin had always wanted her to choose Stuart – always secretly hoped that the two of them would end up brothers. Two nice guys used to doing things for the women they loved. And now Justin was dead, and Stuart was heartbroken and alone. Had she let Justin down, she wondered? In more ways than one, Kalina knew, as she walked over to Justin’s body, taking his cold hand in hers.
Stuart knelt down alongside him, pressing his face into his hands, which were clasped at his front.
“What are you doing?” Kalina turned to him.
He took Justin’s other hand. “I have been praying for him,” he said solemnly. “After Octavius went after you, I stayed here with Justin. I prayed for him. I left for a while – Max took over the vigil – and I went into town until I found a church a few miles from here, a wonderful Medieval church with stained glass windows. A church from my old time. And do you know – it was the first time since turning human that I felt a truly religious experience? I spent hours kneeling on the cold marble, my face pressed to the floor. Praying for your brother.” He sighed heavily. “I only wish that God would grant me my prayers.”
Chapter 12
The night wore on. The waiting was the worst part. At least when she was far off in the Rhineland with Octavius, she could forget. Now there was no forgetting. There was only staying and watching. Kalina’s eyelids grew heavy more than once as she sat in the chair, sleep proving a more merciful mistress than wakefulness. She drowsily noted at one point that she was in Stuart’s arms, that he was carrying her to the adjacent room, whispering to her comforting tales to calm her. Stories of his childhood in England, of a boyhood spent idolizing the great Knights Templar of that era, of how he longed to be at once a soldier and a man of God as they were. She only half-heard them, so close was she to complete slumber, but as she drifted into sleep proper she found that she was dreaming of the world of which Stuart spoke. She dreamed of two boys, each one handsomer than the other, young and strong and full of vigor,
playing at swords and daggers. Two boys – one soft and kind, the other passionate and cocksure. Stuart and Jaegar – the brothers – clad in simple tunics and leather belts.
Yet her dream took her beyond their childhood. She dreamed of Stuart and Jaegar growing up. Being turned. And then Stuart faded from her dream, and Jaegar took center stage. Suddenly she was in a dark room, alone with Jaegar. He was no longer in Medieval garb; his clothing was tight yet tailored, perfectly modern. A stylish black silk shirt, black slacks. The outfit he had worn on the day she first met him. He was more beautiful than she remembered him, his face perfect in every way. His blue eyes blazing, looking at her with a mixture of adoration and desire. But she sensed there was danger in him, too. Some lurking need, some uncontrollable longing, bubbling just beneath the surface. One wrong move – one step too far in the direction of passion – and he would snap. Seize her. Take her. She didn’t remember him being this beautiful. But he took a step towards her, and lightly stroked her bared shoulders.
How strange! She was dreaming – and yet Jaegar’s touch felt so vivid. So real. “Kalina,” he whispered, and his voice sounded real too, “I had to see you. I had to talk to you. I’m sorry it’s been so long…”