She Who Finds a Husband

by E. N. Joy

  “Okay, Mom. I will,” Tamarra assured her.

  “I love you, Tamarra.”

  “I love you too, Mom,” Tamarra said to her mom for the first time since she was a little girl. Looks like Jesus was moving pretty fast. “Bye, Mom,” Tamarra said, then ended the call. She let out a long breath. “Yep, Tamarra,” she said to herself, “you aren’t where you want to be in this whole forgiveness thing right now, but at least you ain’t where you used to be.”

  Getting up to prepare for bed, not only did it feel as though the weight of the lasagna had fallen off, but the weight of a heavy burden she’d carried for years had fallen off also. And even though some weight of the burden remained, God wouldn’t place more on her than she could bear. And she knew that with His help, one day she’d be even further along than she ever imagined. But for now she would take things one day at a time.

  Chapter Thirty-three

  The New Day Singles Ministry meeting/pot luck was about to start. Deborah had arrived an hour early to help set up for Mother Doreen’s farewell. The members had agreed to allow nonmembers to participate as well so that they could say their good-byes to Mother Doreen, who was heading for Kentucky first thing in the morning.

  “Everything looks so delicious,” Tamarra said to Deborah as she and Maeyl entered the classroom. People were starting to arrive.

  “Thank you.” She looked around the room. “I’m thinking I might have to set out some chairs and pull another table out from the storage room.”

  “Oh, don’t worry about that, Sister Deborah,” Maeyl told her. “I’ll take care of it.” Brother Maeyl proceeded to do so.

  “What’s that you got there?” Deborah inhaled the aroma, trying to figure out the dish covered in foil that Tamarra held.

  “Mac n’ cheese. Maeyl’s favorite.” She leaned in and whispered. “It’s the only time he gets it. You know how I am about cooking for a man like he was my husband when he ain’t.”

  Deborah shook her head. “You still a mess . . . but in a good way.”

  The two women laughed as Tamarra then went to find a place to set down her dish.

  “Mrs. Lucas?”

  Deborah heard her name being called. She turned to face a woman of who she did not recognize. “Hello, my sister,” Deborah greeted anyway.

  “I thought that was you. The last time I saw you, it was so quick and brief that I wasn’t sure it was you.”

  “We’ve met before?” Deborah questioned. “I’m sorry, I don’t remember.”

  “We never really got a proper introduction, although we did talk on the phone. I’d called you up some time ago regarding my manuscript. I’d wanted you to do some editing work on it prior to my leaving out of town. I came up to Family Café to meet you, but you weren’t in the best of moods. You practically ran me down leaving the café.”

  Deborah almost wanted to die. She thought back to that day Lynox had showed up at Family Café. She’d just assumed there was no real client; that he had set the whole thing up. Now the evidence that she had been wrong, very wrong, stood before her.

  “My apologies,” Deborah said. “I thought I had been set up by an author who I had declined to represent. I was a little upset.”

  “I’d say you were more than a little upset. But I understand. I have days when I’m going through it as well. So I won’t hold that against you.”

  “Thank you, sister, I appreciate that.”

  “Good. I hope that means we can still get together regarding my work.”

  Deborah smiled. She was blessed that the woman would still even consider working with her. “I’d love to. And I appreciate your willingness to work with me.”

  “Oh, I’m not quick to jump to conclusions about folks. I let my spirit guide me. My spirit says that you’re good people. Just like Doreen. She’s the one who had recommended you to me in the first place, you know. I couldn’t remember her name back then because I’d only met her in a long checkout line at the grocery store. We exchanged numbers, and not too long ago, she called me with an invite to church. She was letting me know that she would be leaving, but that I was still welcome to visit New Day. She even invited me to the potluck.”

  “Well, I’m glad you could make it.”

  “Thank you.”

  Deborah apologized once again and thanked her for coming before she had to excuse herself to go take care of some things. She was glad that she hadn’t ruined witnessing to someone and that God was giving her a second chance. But she couldn’t help but think about Lynox. He’d made a last ditch effort at the café to get back into her good graces, and being the persistent man that he was, had even called her several times after that. Eventually she wore him down with her blatant neglect, and he’d seemed to have given up. But Deborah knew his kind. He was no quitter. And maybe, just like God had given her a second chance to make an impression, Lynox, too, was deserving of a second chance. Hmm . . . she’d have to pray about that.

  The following Sunday morning, New Day was on fire. The praying, praising, and worshiping were deep. Took them to another level. Another dimension in God’s spiritual realm. So many people rededicated their lives to the Lord or got saved for the first time. It was an awesome experience, an experience Paige was grateful that Norman had gotten to witness.

  She’d finally gotten around to inviting him to church, and reluctantly, he showed up. She knew that God would be pleased at her evangelism spirit, but not so pleased at how she’d actually gone about finally convincing Norman to come.

  “New Day is a mixed church. There are people of all races and ethnicities, talk about your melting pot of women,” Paige had said, and that’s all that needed to be said to pique Norman’s interest. And although in his heart he hadn’t really come to New Day for an encounter with the Lord, that’s exactly what he got.

  Norman didn’t go to the altar and get saved, prayed for, join the church, or anything, but Paige was almost certain she saw him lift his hands and mouth the words, “Thank you, Jesus.” She didn’t know if he was thanking Jesus for the experience, or because of the two beautiful women he was sandwiched in between who practically fought over who would share their Bible with him. Nonetheless, Paige just hoped his experience at New Day would allow him to see her in a new light; God’s light.

  Chapter Thirty-four

  Tonight was Deborah’s last time attending any of the New Day Temple of Faith Singles Ministry meetings. As expected, with the hoopla over the potluck and all the kind words everyone took the time out to say to Mother Doreen, they never got around to actually having a real meeting. With Mother Doreen in Kentucky, she’d gotten with Pastor via telephone on prospects to head the ministry in both her and Deborah’s absence. As always, Pastor trusted Mother Doreen’s judgment and left it in her hands.

  Before entering the classroom, Deborah stopped off into the bathroom. After using it, she exited the stall only to find Helen entering the bathroom. This was the first time since that day in the conference room that the two women had been alone face-to-face, and now, as Deborah stood boldly and with authority staring Helen in the eyes, it appeared as though the table was now turned.

  Helen was the one with eyes cast away, head bowed. Deborah couldn’t help but to feel good, relieved. Not because Helen felt the need to now steer clear of Deborah, but because Helen no longer had anything over her. The accuser had nothing to accuse her of. Deborah had confessed her sins and released her burdens to the Lord, and He had forgiven her. Now, no devil in hell or earth, could bind Deborah, could keep her from her God and being used by God in whichever way He saw pleasing.

  “Helen,” Deborah greeted.

  “Uhh, Sister Deborah, I was hoping I’d run into you tonight.”

  Surprised, Deborah replied, “Is that so?”

  “Yes, I uh . . .” Helen searched for words. “I, uh, just wanted to know uh, how are you?” Helen found words, but Deborah could tell that they weren’t the ones she’d been originally searching for.

  “I’m blessed
and highly favored,” Deborah replied, the same way Nita would have replied. And just like Nita, she meant it.

  “That’s good.”

  Silence.

  “Look,” both women started at the same time.

  “You go first,” Deborah told her.

  “No, you go,” Helen said.

  Deborah cleared her throat, and then slowly took Helen’s hands into hers. If Mother Doreen can pray for a woman who had just climbed out of bed with her husband, surely I can pray for this one, she thought. And with that thought she began to pray The Lord’s Prayer. For some reason, that was the prayer that dropped into her spirit. She prayed the prayer as if she was singing the song. Her voice soft, moving, and sincere. When she finished, she opened her eyes to see tears flowing down Helen’s face. With no more words to say from within, she simply pulled Helen to her and gave her a Holy Ghost hug.

  Once the women came out of the embrace, Helen sniffled. “Pastor had a word with me the other day about those pictures of Sister Tamarra and Brother Maeyl that were posted on the Web site. I confessed that I placed them there.”

  “Oh, you did?” Deborah was shocked by Helen’s confession.

  “Yes, but I just told Pastor that I’d taken them with the thought of promoting the Singles Ministry in mind.”

  Deborah sighed. “Now, Helen, you and I both know that that’s probably not the truth.”

  “Look, I confessed at least. That was a start.”

  Deborah nodded her head. “Yeah, and we all have to start somewhere, I suppose.”

  “But don’t worry, I plan on telling Pastor the whole truth . . . eventually.”

  Deborah nodded again. “Anyway, I’m glad that’s out in the open. And I’m glad you decided to join the Singles Ministry after all. I’m sure it will be a blessing to you.” Deborah stepped past Helen to exit the bathroom.

  “So are you going to tell anyone?” Helen called out. She’d found the original words she’d been searching for.

  “Tell anyone what?” Deborah turned and asked.

  “About me.” Helen looked down. “I had one too, you know. And I know I taunted you that day in the clinic. I just felt that if I could make your situation seem worse off than mine, then I wouldn’t feel so bad.” Helen paused before saying, “A friend of mine invited me to Bible Study at her church last Wednesday, and the Bishop there preached on Paul; how Paul was honest enough to admit that he still struggled in certain areas of his life and how he faced and dealt with them, unlike those with a pharisaical spirit who condemn others for doing the very things they do themselves. I guess I was one of those people with a pharisaical spirit that the Bishop was talking about.”

  Deborah knew exactly what scripture the Bishop must have taught from. “Paul says, ‘I know the law but . . . can’t keep it . . . sin . . . keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I . . . need help . . . I decide to do good, but . . . My decisions . . . don’t result in actions. Something . . . gets the better of me every time’ (Romans 7:17–20 TM).

  “Yep, that’s the one,” Helen recalled.

  “Well, did it work?” Deborah wanted to know.

  Helen looked puzzled. “Did what work?”

  “You making my situation seem worse off than yours, did it make you feel less bad about what you had done?”

  Helen shook her head.

  “Then why keep taunting me like you did? If you honestly came to realize that what you and I did, no matter who was further along than whom, was the same thing, why keep dangling it over my head?”

  “I felt that as long as I could keep making you feel bad about it, making it something you’d be ashamed of forever, that you’d keep it a secret forever. As long as no one knew about you, then they wouldn’t know about me.”

  Deborah nodded as if she understood, although in all honesty, she just couldn’t grasp Helen’s logic about the entire situation.

  “Well . . .?” Helen asked.

  “Well what?”

  “Are you going to tell? I mean, look at you.” She pointed to Deborah’s head all the way down to her feet. “You don’t even look the same anymore. It’s like you have a faith lift. God’s made you over. Obviously He’s forgiven you. You’re standing here looking at me, your nemesis,” she chuckled, “straight in the eyes. No more downcast looks. It’s like you’re staring the devil down for the first time and not backing down.” Helen choked on tears and lowered her head.

  “Don’t you do this to yourself, Helen.” Deborah said as she walked over to her with authority and placed her hand on her shoulder. “You are not the devil. Now you might have let the devil use you at one time, but you are not the devil. Don’t let Satan tell you that you are one of his. Know who you are and whose you are.” Deborah pointed up. “You belong to God. And God loves you the same way He loves me. If He forgave me, then you know He’ll forgive you. So instead of hanging on to the past, let go and let God.”

  Helen looked into Deborah’s eyes as she wiped away a tear that had fallen down her face. “Yeah, I’m sure God will forgive me . . . someday. After all, I hear He has a sense of humor. And it certainly would be funny for Him to forgive someone like me,” Helen said as she made her way over to the bathroom sink to get herself together.

  “He already has forgiven you,” Deborah whispered as she made her way down the hall and into the classroom. “He already has.”

  With Mother Doreen, the voice of reason, no longer a part of the Singles Ministry, Deborah knew she’d be up next in line to be appointed leader of the New Day Singles Ministry. She knew deep inside that it wasn’t her calling though, and had shared such with the pastor. She didn’t believe in taking a position at church just because it needed to be filled. She knew that God had just showed her her calling, and that was to minister to women like Helen. To women like herself.

  Deborah entered the classroom just in time to hear the newly appointed New Day Temple of Faith Singles Ministry leader be announced by the pastor.

  “As you all know, it’s unfortunate that Sister Deborah will no longer be a part of this ministry as God has called her to focus on other things. But it is with great pleasure that I present to you Sister Lorain, the new New Day Singles Ministry leader,” the pastor announced.

  Before Deborah knew it, everyone was staring at her as she stood in the doorway laughing uncontrollably. She couldn’t help but think back to the words Helen had just spoken about God having a sense of humor. And her thoughts traveled back to the night Lorain won the raffle at the Singles Ministry dinner. Maybe if tight clothes, make-up wearing Lorain did join the Singles Ministry, then men would join as well . . . God would have to have a crazy sense of humor to use Lorain in that capacity.

  “Is everything okay, Sister Deborah?” Pastor asked worriedly.

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” Deborah apologized. “It’s just that something that someone just said to me was on the money.”

  “Oh? And what was that?”

  “That God has a sense of humor. He has a sense of humor indeed,” Deborah said as she continued laughing, not being able to fathom what exactly God had in store for New Day Singles Ministry with Lorain now in charge. It would be a new day all right. A new day indeed . . .

  Readers’ Group Guide Questions

  1. Although the title of this book is She Who Finds A Husband, it was evident that God’s Word is sovereign, which states “He Who Finds a Wife.” Do you believe once the women let go and let God’s Word prevail by allowing their husbands/mates to find them, things turned out better?

  2. Paige had a problem with one of her coworkers who she felt ignored the fact that she was now a Christian, since he was used to dealing with the old, worldlier Paige. How do you feel a born-again person should deal with those types of situations; be it co-workers, family, or friends? Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? If so, how did you deal with it and was it effective?

  3. Deborah carried around guilt and shame because of an act she’d committed years ago that she regretted. Instead
of confessing the act to God, she felt as though she was hiding it from Him, then got angry with Helen for threatening to reveal it. Do you think that is what the accuser is doing to so many Christians today in order to keep them in bondage; in God’s ear accusing, while all the time God is simply waiting on His child to confess the sin to Him directly so that healing and deliverance can begin?

  4. Some of the women at New Day put on a church face and assumed Mother Doreen had been doing the same. Do you agree with Mother Doreen; that just because a person is going through something, they don’t always have to appear broken? That an experience with the Lord and even the mere anticipation of a move of God can be magnified over the problem or situation?

  5. Helen had committed the same act herself that she taunted Deborah about having committed. Do we as Christians sometimes try to justify or cover acts we’ve committed that might not have been pleasing to God by pointing our finger in the direction of someone who we feel did something even worse?

  6. Because of Deborah’s actions that day in Family Café, Zelda made a decision that she didn’t want to attend New Day Temple of Faith. Do you believe that the actions of the members of a church play a role in whether people decide to attend that church, or are a reflection on the kingdom as a whole?

  7. Deborah blamed herself for ending up in the predicament she did with Elton. Do you agree, somewhat agree, or totally disagree that she was to blame?

  8. Paige had allowed her mother’s role in the marriage to her father to shape her thoughts on relationships. The last thing Paige wanted to do was to find a man that was like her father in order to avoid ending up like her mother. Do you think Paige might have missed out on a man God had for her because of her way of thinking?