The Skeptics Annotated Bible

by Wells, Steve

  (12.1) “At that time shall Michael stand up … and there shall be a time of trouble, such as never was since there was a nation even to that same time: and at that time thy people shall be delivered, every one that shall be found written in the book.”

  2 And many of them that sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to everlasting life, and some to shame and everlasting contempt.

  (12.2) “Many of them that sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to everlasting life, and some to shame and everlasting contempt.”

  167 Is death final?

  157 Does Hell exist?

  3 And they that be wise shall shine as the brightness of the firmament; and they that turn many to righteousness as the stars for ever and ever.

  4 But thou, O Daniel, shut up the words, and seal the book, even to the time of the end: many shall run to and fro, and knowledge shall be increased.

  (12.4) “But thou, O Daniel, shut up the words, and seal the book, even to the time of the end.”

  5 Then I Daniel looked, and, behold, there stood other two, the one on this side of the bank of the river, and the other on that side of the bank of the river.

  (12.5) “Then I Daniel looked, and, behold, there stood other two, the one on this side of the bank of the river, and the other on that side of the bank of the river.”

  6 And one said to the man clothed in linen, which was upon the waters of the river, How long shall it be to the end of these wonders?

  (12.6) “And one said to the man clothed in linen, which was upon the waters of the river, How long shall it be to the end of these wonders?”

  7 And I heard the man clothed in linen, which was upon the waters of the river, when he held up his right hand and his left hand unto heaven, and sware by him that liveth for ever that it shall be for a time, times, and an half; and when he shall have accomplished to scatter the power of the holy people, all these things shall be finished.

  (12.7) “I heard the man clothed in linen, which was upon the waters of the river, when he held up his right hand and his left hand unto heaven, and sware by him that liveth for ever that it shall be for a time, times, and an half; and when he shall have accomplished to scatter the power of the holy people, all these things shall be finished.”

  63 Is it OK to take oaths?

  8 And I heard, but I understood not: then said I, O my Lord, what shall be the end of these things?

  (12.8) “I heard, but I understood not: then said I, O my Lord, what shall be the end of these things?”

  9 And he said, Go thy way, Daniel: for the words are closed up and sealed till the time of the end.

  (12.9) “He said, Go thy way, Daniel: for the words are closed up and sealed till the time of the end.”

  10 Many shall be purified, and made white, and tried; but the wicked shall do wickedly: and none of the wicked shall understand; but the wise shall understand.

  (12.10) “Many shall be purified, and made white.” So is everyone in heaven white? Or do only white people go there? Or what?

  11 And from the time that the daily sacrifice shall be taken away, and the abomination that maketh desolate set up, there shall be a thousand two hundred and ninety days.

  (12.11) “From the time that the daily sacrifice shall be taken away, and the abomination that maketh desolate set up, there shall be a thousand two hundred and ninety days.”

  12 Blessed is he that waiteth, and cometh to the thousand three hundred and five and thirty days.

  (12.12) “Blessed is he that waiteth, and cometh to the thousand three hundred and five and thirty days.”

  13 But go thou thy way till the end be: for thou shalt rest, and stand in thy lot at the end of the days.

  (12.13) “But go thou thy way till the end be: for thou shalt rest, and stand in thy lot at the end of the days.”

  HOSEA

  Yet will I slay even the beloved fruit of their womb. —Hosea 9.16

  Hosea is a book filled with whoredoms, children of whoredoms, adulteries between breasts, buying wives with barley, ripping apart pregnant women, and killing unborn babies. What will surprise most believers is that it is God who does the ripping and killing and who tells Hosea to buy a wife and marry a whore. Biblical family values at its best.

  Here are the highlights:

  God told Hosea to commit adultery, saying “take … a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms” because the land has “committed great whoredom.” So Hosea did as God commanded and “took” a wife named Gomer. 1.2-3

  God told Hosea to name his baby girl “Loruhamah,” which means unloved. 1.6

  Hosea tells his children that their mother is a whore who is not his wife. He asks them to tell their mother to “put away her whoredoms” and “her adulteries from between her breasts” or he’ll “strip her naked … and slay her with thirst.” 2.2-3

  God will not have mercy upon children if they are the children of whoredoms. 2.4-5

  “Now will I discover her lewdness in the sight of her lovers, and none shall deliver her out of mine hand.” 2.10

  God tells Hosea to love an adulteress. So Hosea buys (another?) wife for a homer and a half of barley. 3.1-2

  Committing whoredom by going a whoring with the spirit of whoredom. 4.10-12, 5.3-4

  If you misbehave, God will make your daughters “commit whoredom” and your wife “commit adultery.” 4.13

  Even more whoredom! “They have committed whoredom continually.” 4.14-18

  More lewdness and whoredom. 6.9-10

  “I will send a fire upon his cities.” 8.14

  “Thou hast gone a whoring from thy God, thou hast loved a reward upon every cornfloor.” 9.1

  “The prophet is a fool, the spiritual man is mad.” 9.7

  “Though they bring up their children, yet will I bereave them.” 9.12

  “O Lord: what wilt thou give? give them a miscarrying womb and dry breasts.” 9.14

  “Yea, though they bring forth, yet will I slay even the beloved fruit of their womb.” 9.16

  God will punish Israel by “dashing” together mothers and their children. 10.14

  “The LORD … shall roar like a lion.” 11.10

  God will rip humans apart and eat them like a lion. 13.7-8

  “Their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up.” 13.16

  HOSEA 1

  1 The word of the LORD that came unto Hosea, the son of Beeri, in the days of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah, kings of Judah, and in the days of Jeroboam the son of Joash, king of Israel.

  (1.2-3) God tells Hosea to commit adultery, saying “take … a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms” because the land has “committed great whoredom.” So Hosea did as God commanded and “took” a wife named Gomer.

  110 Is it wrong to commit adultery?

  2 The beginning of the word of the LORD by Hosea. And the LORD said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the LORD.

  (1.2) “The LORD said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the LORD.”

  3 So he went and took Gomer the daughter of Diblaim; which conceived, and bare him a son.

  (1.3) “So he went and took Gomer.”

  4 And the LORD said unto him, Call his name Jezreel; for yet a little while, and I will avenge the blood of Jezreel upon the house of Jehu, and will cause to cease the kingdom of the house of Israel.

  (1.4) “I will avenge the blood of Jezreel upon the house of Jehu.”

  245 Did God commend or condemn Jehu for the killings at Jezreel?

  5 And it shall come to pass at that day, that I will break the bow of Israel in the valley of Jezreel.

  6 And she conceived again, and bare a daughter. And God said unto him, Call her name Lo-ruhamah: for I will no more have mercy upon the house of Israel; but I will utterly take them away.

 
(1.6a) “She conceived again, and bare a daughter. And God said unto him, Call her name Loruhamah.” God told Hosea to name his baby girl “Loruhamah,” which means unloved.

  (1.6b) “I will no more have mercy upon the house of Israel.”

  7 But I will have mercy upon the house of Judah, and will save them by the LORD their God, and will not save them by bow, nor by sword, nor by battle, by horses, nor by horsemen.

  8 Now when she had weaned Lo-ruhamah, she conceived, and bare a son.

  9 Then said God, Call his name Lo-ammi: for ye are not my people, and I will not be your God.

  (1.9) “Ye are not my people, and I will not be your God.” Martin Luther interpreted this verse to mean that God had rejected the Jews and that Christians should do likewise.

  10 Yet the number of the children of Israel shall be as the sand of the sea, which cannot be measured nor numbered; and it shall come to pass, that in the place where it was said unto them, Ye are not my people, there it shall be said unto them, Ye are the sons of the living God.

  11 Then shall the children of Judah and the children of Israel be gathered together, and appoint themselves one head, and they shall come up out of the land: for great shall be the day of Jezreel.

  HOSEA 2

  2 Say ye unto your brethren, Ammi; and to your sisters, Ruhamah.

  (2.2-3) God (or Hosea?) tells his children that their mother is a whore who is not his wife. He asks them to tell their mother to “put away her whoredoms” and “her adulteries from between her breasts” or he’ll “strip her naked … and slay her with thirst.”

  2 Plead with your mother, plead: for she is not my wife, neither am I her husband: let her therefore put away her whoredoms out of her sight, and her adulteries from between her breasts;

  (2.2) “Plead with your mother, plead: for she is not my wife, neither am I her husband: let her therefore put away her whoredoms out of her sight, and her adulteries from between her breasts.”

  3 Lest I strip her naked, and set her as in the day that she was born, and make her as a wilderness, and set her like a dry land, and slay her with thirst.

  (2.3) “Lest I strip her naked, and set her as in the day that she was born … and slay her with thirst.”

  (2.4-5) God “will not have mercy upon … the children of whoredoms. For their mother hath played the harlot.”

  4 And I will not have mercy upon her children; for they be the children of whoredoms.

  (2.4) “I will not have mercy upon her children; for they be the children of whoredoms.”

  5 For their mother hath played the harlot: she that conceived them hath done shamefully: for she said, I will go after my lovers, that give me my bread and my water, my wool and my flax, mine oil and my drink.

  (2.5) “For their mother hath played the harlot.”

  6 Therefore, behold, I will hedge up thy way with thorns, and make a wall, that she shall not find her paths.

  7 And she shall follow after her lovers, but she shall not overtake them; and she shall seek them, but shall not find them: then shall she say, I will go and return to my first husband; for then was it better with me than now.

  8 For she did not know that I gave her corn, and wine, and oil, and multiplied her silver and gold, which they prepared for Baal.

  9 Therefore will I return, and take away my corn in the time thereof, and my wine in the season thereof, and will recover my wool and my flax given to cover her nakedness.

  10 And now will I discover her lewdness in the sight of her lovers, and none shall deliver her out of mine hand.

  (2.10) “Now will I discover her lewdness in the sight of her lovers, and none shall deliver her out of mine hand.”

  11 I will also cause all her mirth to cease, her feast days, her new moons, and her sabbaths, and all her solemn feasts.

  12 And I will destroy her vines and her fig trees, whereof she hath said, These are my rewards that my lovers have given me: and I will make them a forest, and the beasts of the field shall eat them.

  (2.12) “I will destroy … her fig trees.” (God hates figs.)

  13 And I will visit upon her the days of Baalim, wherein she burned incense to them, and she decked herself with her earrings and her jewels, and she went after her lovers, and forgat me, saith the LORD.

  (2.13) “She decked herself with her earrings and her jewels, and she went after her lovers, and forgat me, saith the LORD.”

  14 Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfortably unto her.

  15 And I will give her her vineyards from thence, and the valley of Achor for a door of hope: and she shall sing there, as in the days of her youth, and as in the day when she came up out of the land of Egypt.

  16 And it shall be at that day, saith the LORD, that thou shalt call me Ishi; and shalt call me no more Baali.

  17 For I will take away the names of Baalim out of her mouth, and they shall no more be remembered by their name.

  18 And in that day will I make a covenant for them with the beasts of the field, and with the fowls of heaven, and with the creeping things of the ground: and I will break the bow and the sword and the battle out of the earth, and will make them to lie down safely.

  19 And I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies.

  20 I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the LORD.

  21 And it shall come to pass in that day, I will hear, saith the LORD, I will hear the heavens, and they shall hear the earth;

  22 And the earth shall hear the corn, and the wine, and the oil; and they shall hear Jezreel.

  23 And I will sow her unto me in the earth; and I will have mercy upon her that had not obtained mercy; and I will say to them which were not my people, Thou art my people; and they shall say, Thou art my God.

  HOSEA 3

  (3.1-2) God tells Hosea to love an adulteress. (I thought he already did that in chapter 1.) In any case, Hosea buys (another?) one for a homer and a half of barley.

  3 Then said the LORD unto me, Go yet, love a woman beloved of her friend, yet an adulteress, according to the love of the LORD toward the children of Israel, who look to other gods, and love flagons of wine.

  (3.1) “Then said the LORD unto me, Go yet, love a woman beloved of her friend, yet an adulteress.”

  110 Is it wrong to commit adultery?

  2 So I bought her to me for fifteen pieces of silver, and for an homer of barley, and an half homer of barley:

  (3.2) “So I bought her to me for fifteen pieces of silver, and for an homer of barley, and an half homer of barley.”

  3 And I said unto her, Thou shalt abide for me many days; thou shalt not play the harlot, and thou shalt not be for another man: so will I also be for thee.

  4 For the children of Israel shall abide many days without a king, and without a prince, and without a sacrifice, and without an image, and without an ephod, and without teraphim:

  5 Afterward shall the children of Israel return, and seek the LORD their God, and David their king; and shall fear the LORD and his goodness in the latter days.

  (3.5) “Fear the Lord and his goodness in the latter days.”

  132 Should we fear God?

  HOSEA 4

  4 Hear the word of the LORD, ye children of Israel: for the LORD hath a controversy with the inhabitants of the land, because there is no truth, nor mercy, nor knowledge of God in the land.

  2 By swearing, and lying, and killing, and stealing, and committing adultery, they break out, and blood toucheth blood.

  3 Therefore shall the land mourn, and every one that dwelleth therein shall languish, with the beasts of the field, and with the fowls of heaven; yea, the fishes of the sea also shall be taken away.

  (4.3) “Therefore shall the land mourn, and every one that dwelleth therein shall languish, with the beasts of the field, and with the fowls of heaven; yea, the fishes of the sea.” Because of the Israel
ites’ disobedience, the land mourns, and all the animals are dying.

  4 Yet let no man strive, nor reprove another: for thy people are as they that strive with the priest.

  5 Therefore shalt thou fall in the day, and the prophet also shall fall with thee in the night, and I will destroy thy mother.

  6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.

  7 As they were increased, so they sinned against me: therefore will I change their glory into shame.

  8 They eat up the sin of my people, and they set their heart on their iniquity.

  9 And there shall be, like people, like priest: and I will punish them for their ways, and reward them their doings.

  (4.10-12) Committing whoredom by going a whoring with the spirit of whoredom.

  10 For they shall eat, and not have enough: they shall commit whoredom, and shall not increase: because they have left off to take heed to the LORD.

  (4.10) “They shall commit whoredom.”

  11 Whoredom and wine and new wine take away the heart.

  (4.11) “Whoredom and wine and new wine take away the heart.”

  12 My people ask counsel at their stocks, and their staff declareth unto them: for the spirit of whoredoms hath caused them to err, and they have gone a whoring from under their God.

  (4.12) “The spirit of whoredoms hath caused them to err, and they have gone a whoring.”

  13 They sacrifice upon the tops of the mountains, and burn incense upon the hills, under oaks and poplars and elms, because the shadow thereof is good: therefore your daughters shall commit whoredom, and your spouses shall commit adultery.

  (4.13) “Therefore your daughters shall commit whoredom, and your spouses shall commit adultery.” If you misbehave, God will make your daughters “commit whoredom” and your wife “commit adultery.”