The Skeptics Annotated Bible

by Wells, Steve

  6 And sware by him that liveth for ever and ever, who created heaven, and the things that therein are, and the earth, and the things that therein are, and the sea, and the things which are therein, that there should be time no longer:

  (10.5-6) “The angel … sware by him that liveth for ever … that there should be time no longer.”

  63 Is it okay to swear?

  7 But in the days of the voice of the seventh angel, when he shall begin to sound, the mystery of God should be finished, as he hath declared to his servants the prophets.

  8 And the voice which I heard from heaven spake unto me again, and said, Go and take the little book which is open in the hand of the angel which standeth upon the sea and upon the earth.

  9 And I went unto the angel, and said unto him, Give me the little book. And he said unto me, Take it, and eat it up; and it shall make thy belly bitter, but it shall be in thy mouth sweet as honey.

  (10.8-9) “The voice … said, Go and take the little book … and eat it up; and it shall make thy belly bitter, but it shall be in thy mouth sweet as honey.”

  10 And I took the little book out of the angel’s hand, and ate it up; and it was in my mouth sweet as honey: and as soon as I had eaten it, my belly was bitter.

  (10.10) “And I took the little book … and ate it up; and it was in my mouth sweet as honey: and as soon as I had eaten it, my belly was bitter.”

  11 And he said unto me, Thou must prophesy again before many peoples, and nations, and tongues, and kings.

  REVELATION 11

  (11.1-5) God’s two witnesses

  Anyone that messes with God’s two olive trees and two candlesticks (God’s witnesses) will be burned to death by fire that comes out of their mouths.

  11 And there was given me a reed like unto a rod: and the angel stood, saying, Rise, and measure the temple of God, and the altar, and them that worship therein.

  2 But the court which is without the temple leave out, and measure it not; for it is given unto the Gentiles: and the holy city shall they tread under foot forty and two months.

  3 And I will give power unto my two witnesses, and they shall prophesy a thousand two hundred and threescore days, clothed in sackcloth.

  (11.3) “I will give power unto my two witnesses, and they shall prophesy a thousand two hundred and threescore days, clothed in sackcloth.”

  4 These are the two olive trees, and the two candlesticks standing before the God of the earth.

  (11.4) “These are the two olive trees, and the two candlesticks.”

  5 And if any man will hurt them, fire proceedeth out of their mouth, and devoureth their enemies: and if any man will hurt them, he must in this manner be killed.

  (11.5) “If any man will hurt them, fire proceedeth out of their mouth, and devoureth their enemies.”

  6 These have power to shut heaven, that it rain not in the days of their prophecy: and have power over waters to turn them to blood, and to smite the earth with all plagues, as often as they will.

  (11.6) “These have power to shut heaven, that it rain not ... and have power over waters to turn them to blood, and to smite the earth with all plagues, as often as they will.” God’s witnesses have special powers. They can shut up heaven so that it cannot rain, turn rivers into blood, and smite the earth with plagues “as often as they will.”

  7 And when they shall have finished their testimony, the beast that ascendeth out of the bottomless pit shall make war against them, and shall overcome them, and kill them.

  (11.7) “When they shall have finished their testimony, the beast that ascendeth out of the bottomless pit shall ... kill them.” After God’s witnesses “have finished their testimony,” they are killed in a war with a beast from a bottomless pit.

  (11.8-12) The bodies of God’s witnesses will lie unburied for three and a half days. People will “rejoice over them and make merry, and shall send gifts to one another.” After another three and half days God brings his witnesses back to life and they ascend into heaven.

  8 And their dead bodies shall lie in the street of the great city, which spiritually is called Sodom and Egypt, where also our Lord was crucified.

  (11.8) “Their dead bodies shall lie in the street.”

  9 And they of the people and kindreds and tongues and nations shall see their dead bodies three days and an half, and shall not suffer their dead bodies to be put in graves.

  (11.9) “They … shall see their dead bodies three days and an half, and shall not suffer their dead bodies to be put in graves.”

  10 And they that dwell upon the earth shall rejoice over them, and make merry, and shall send gifts one to another; because these two prophets tormented them that dwelt on the earth.

  (11.10) “They … shall rejoice over them, and make merry, and shall send gifts one to another; because these two prophets tormented them.”

  11 And after three days and an half the Spirit of life from God entered into them, and they stood upon their feet; and great fear fell upon them which saw them.

  12 And they heard a great voice from heaven saying unto them, Come up hither. And they ascended up to heaven in a cloud; and their enemies beheld them.

  (11.11-12) “After three days and an half … they heard a great voice from heaven saying unto them, Come up hither. And they ascended up to heaven.”

  (11.13-14) The Second Woe

  When the witnesses ascend into heaven, an earthquake kills 7000 men. This was the second woe. “The third woe cometh quickly.” (I lost track of the first woe.)

  13 And the same hour was there a great earthquake, and the tenth part of the city fell, and in the earthquake were slain of men seven thousand: and the remnant were affrighted, and gave glory to the God of heaven.

  (11.13) “The same hour was there a great earthquake, and the tenth part of the city fell, and in the earthquake were slain of men seven thousand.”

  14 The second woe is past; and, behold, the third woe cometh quickly.

  (11.14) “The second woe is past … the third woe cometh quickly.”

  (11.15-19) Seventh Trumpet: God’s wrath comes on those that destroy the earth (on himself?). The ark was on display in heaven’s temple, with lightnings, voices, thunder, earthquake, and hail.

  15 And the seventh angel sounded; and there were great voices in heaven, saying, The kingdoms of this world are become the kingdoms of our Lord, and of his Christ; and he shall reign for ever and ever.

  16 And the four and twenty elders, which sat before God on their seats, fell upon their faces, and worshipped God,

  (11.15-16) “The seventh angel sounded … and the four and twenty elders … fell upon their faces.”

  17 Saying, We give thee thanks, O Lord God Almighty, which art, and wast, and art to come; because thou hast taken to thee thy great power, and hast reigned.

  18 And the nations were angry, and thy wrath is come, and the time of the dead, that they should be judged, and that thou shouldest give reward unto thy servants the prophets, and to the saints, and them that fear thy name, small and great; and shouldest destroy them which destroy the earth.

  (11.18) “Thy wrath is come … thou … shouldest destroy them which destroy the earth.”

  19 And the temple of God was opened in heaven, and there was seen in his temple the ark of his testament: and there were lightnings, and voices, and thunderings, and an earthquake, and great hail.

  (11.19) “The temple of God was opened in heaven, and there was seen … lightnings, and voices, and thunderings, and an earthquake, and great hail.”

  REVELATION 12

  (12.1-6) The woman versus the red, 7-headed, 10-horned, baby-eating dragon

  Catholics say the “woman clothed with the sun” is Mary; Protestants say she is Israel, the church, or Eve. But whoever she is, she’s pregnant and the dragon wants to eat her newborn baby. He’s worked up an appetite by knocking down 1/3 of the stars with his tail. But when the woman delivered, God beamed her baby boy up to heaven. Then the woman went into the wildernes
s to feed for 1260 days. Whatever.

  12 And there appeared a great wonder in heaven; a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet, and upon her head a crown of twelve stars:

  (12.1) “There appeared a great wonder in heaven; a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet, and upon her head a crown of twelve stars.”

  2 And she being with child cried, travailing in birth, and pained to be delivered.

  (12.2) “And she being with child … pained to be delivered.”

  3 And there appeared another wonder in heaven; and behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads.

  (12.3) “There appeared another wonder in heaven … a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads.”

  4 And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth: and the dragon stood before the woman which was ready to be delivered, for to devour her child as soon as it was born.

  (12.4) “His tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth: and the dragon stood before the woman which was ready to be delivered, for to devour her child as soon as it was born.”

  5 And she brought forth a man child, who was to rule all nations with a rod of iron: and her child was caught up unto God, and to his throne.

  (12.5) “She brought forth a man child, who was to rule all nations with a rod of iron: and her child was caught up unto God, and to his throne.”

  6 And the woman fled into the wilderness, where she hath a place prepared of God, that they should feed her there a thousand two hundred and threescore days.

  (12.6) “And the woman fled into the wilderness … that they should feed her there a thousand two hundred and threescore days.”

  (12.7-11) “There was war in heaven.” So even in heaven, you can’t be safe from war or dragons.

  342 Is God’s will always done in heaven?

  7 And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels,

  (12.7) “There was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon.”

  8 And prevailed not; neither was their place found any more in heaven.

  9 And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.

  (12.9) “The great dragon was cast out … into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.”

  10 And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.

  11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.

  (12.11) “They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb.”

  (12.12-17) The Return of the Dragon

  After losing the heavenly war, the dragon came back to earth to look for the woman. But she was given eagle wings to fly with, so she flew to the wilderness to be nourished for “a time, and times, and half a time.” Then the dragon spit out a flood, but the earth swallowed it up to help the woman. So the dragon went to war with her seed instead.

  12 Therefore rejoice, ye heavens, and ye that dwell in them. Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time.

  (12.12) “Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come down unto you.”

  13 And when the dragon saw that he was cast unto the earth, he persecuted the woman which brought forth the man child.

  (12.13) “When the dragon saw that he was cast unto the earth, he persecuted the woman which brought forth the man child.”

  14 And to the woman were given two wings of a great eagle, that she might fly into the wilderness, into her place, where she is nourished for a time, and times, and half a time, from the face of the serpent.

  (12.14) “To the woman were given two wings of a great eagle, that she might fly into the wilderness … where she is nourished for a time, and times, and half a time.”

  15 And the serpent cast out of his mouth water as a flood after the woman, that he might cause her to be carried away of the flood.

  (12.15) “The serpent cast out of his mouth water as a flood after the woman, that he might cause her to be carried away of the flood.”

  16 And the earth helped the woman, and the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed up the flood which the dragon cast out of his mouth.

  (12.16) “The earth helped the woman, and the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed up the flood which the dragon cast out of his mouth.”

  17 And the dragon was wroth with the woman, and went to make war with the remnant of her seed, which keep the commandments of God, and have the testimony of Jesus Christ.

  (12.17) “The dragon was wroth with the woman, and went to make war with the remnant of her seed.”

  REVELATION 13

  (13.1-6) An Unusual, Blaspheming Sea Beast

  John sees a sea beast with the usual 7 heads and 10 horns, with “blasphemy” written on each head. It looked like a leopard, except its feet were like a bear, and its mouth like a lion. The dragon and the sea beast were allies and everyone worshipped the sea beast.

  13 And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy.

  (13.1) “I … saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and upon his horns ten crowns, and upon his heads the name of blasphemy.”

  2 And the beast which I saw was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion: and the dragon gave him his power, and his seat, and great authority.

  (13.2) “The beast … was like unto a leopard, and his feet were as the feet of a bear, and his mouth as the mouth of a lion.”

  3 And I saw one of his heads as it were wounded to death; and his deadly wound was healed: and all the world wondered after the beast.

  4 And they worshipped the dragon which gave power unto the beast: and they worshipped the beast, saying, Who is like unto the beast? who is able to make war with him?

  (13.4) “And they worshipped the dragon which gave power unto the beast: and they worshipped the beast.”

  5 And there was given unto him a mouth speaking great things and blasphemies; and power was given unto him to continue forty and two months.

  6 And he opened his mouth in blasphemy against God, to blaspheme his name, and his tabernacle, and them that dwell in heaven.

  (13.6) “He opened his mouth in blasphemy against God.”

  (13.7-8) The sea beast goes to war against the “saints”. He is given power (by God?) over all nations, and all non-Christians worship him.

  7 And it was given unto him to make war with the saints, and to overcome them: and power was given him over all kindreds, and tongues, and nations.

  (13.7) “It was given unto him to make war with the saints, and to overcome them.”

  8 And all that dwell upon the earth shall worship him, whose names are not written in the book of life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.

  (13.8) “All that dwell upon the earth shall worship him, whose names are not written in the book of life.”

  9 If any man have an ear, let him hear.

  10 He that leadeth into captivity shall go into captivity: he that killeth with the sword must be killed with the sword. Here is the patience and the faith of the saints.

  (13.11-13) A Fire-Throwing Land Beast

  John sees another beast coming out of the earth with horns like a lamb and a voice like a dragon. He could do “great wonders,” like make fire come down from the sky.

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nbsp; 11 And I beheld another beast coming up out of the earth; and he had two horns like a lamb, and he spake as a dragon.

  (13.11) “I beheld another beast coming up out of the earth; and he had two horns like a lamb, and he spake as a dragon.”

  12 And he exerciseth all the power of the first beast before him, and causeth the earth and them which dwell therein to worship the first beast, whose deadly wound was healed.

  (13.12) “He … causeth the earth and them which dwell therein to worship the first beast.”

  13 And he doeth great wonders, so that he maketh fire come down from heaven on the earth in the sight of men,

  (13.13) “He doeth great wonders, so that he maketh fire come down from heaven.”

  (13.14-15) The people make an image of the beast that can speak. Anyone who refuses to worship the image is killed.

  14 And deceiveth them that dwell on the earth by the means of those miracles which he had power to do in the sight of the beast; saying to them that dwell on the earth, that they should make an image to the beast, which had the wound by a sword, and did live.

  (13.14) “And deceiveth them … by … miracles … saying … that they should make an image to the beast.”

  15 And he had power to give life unto the image of the beast, that the image of the beast should both speak, and cause that as many as would not worship the image of the beast should be killed.

  (13.15) “He had power to give life unto the image of the beast, that the image of the beast should both speak, and cause that as many as would not worship the image of the beast should be killed.”

  (13.16-18) The Mark of the Beast

  16 And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads:

  (13.16) “He causeth all … to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads.”

  17 And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.

  (13.17) “That no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.”