The Delhi Detective's Handbook

by Tarquin Hall

  Thus Chanakya recommends the following disguises for male sattris. These are listed under:

  1) Holy Men

  2) Merchants

  3) Doctors

  4) Teachers

  5) Hunchbacks, Dwarves, Eunuchs, Dumb Persons

  6) Entertainers (including brothel-keepers, actors, singers, storytellers, acrobats and conjurers)

  7) Household Attendants (cooks, bath-attendants, shampooers, bed-makers, barbers and water-bearers)

  8) Caterers (vintners, bakers, and sellers of vegetarian and non-vegetarian food)

  9) Astrologers, Soothsayers and Readers of Omens

  10) Artisans and Craftsmen

  11) Cowherds and Elephant -handlers.

  12) Foresters, Hunters, Snake-charmers and Tribals

  13) Thieves and Robbers

  Regarding female sattris, Chanakya recommends recruiting the following types: “a nun, a rich widow, an actress, a musician or expert in love affairs”.

  Please kindly note: all undercover operatives doing intelligence gathering on behalf of Most Private Investigators Ltd. including my good self have had cause to use all disguises listed above at one time or other, with the exception of one category, that of Dwarves, there being something of a size issue. Recruitment of dwarves for undercover work is something of a challenge these days, what with many receiving handsome salaries in Bollywood. Furthermore it should be noted there is little requirement these days for shampooers and elephant handlers, but in India no profession can be totally obsolete.

  CHANAKYA ON RECRUITMENT

  Regarding recruitment of sattris, Chanakya in Arthashastra recommends following: “Secret agents shall be recruited from orphans who have been looked after by the State. They shall be trained in…the art of men and society.” Chanakya recommends the recruitment of widows, also, “who need to work for their living”, adding, “They shall be treated with honour in the palace so that they may go into the houses of high officials freely.”

  He goes on: “One who is initiated in asceticism and is possessed of foresight and pure character is a recluse. This spy, provided with much money and many disciples, shall carry on agriculture, cattle rearing, and trade on the lands allotted to him for the purpose. Out of the produce and profits thus acquired, he shall provide all ascetics with subsistence, clothing and lodging, and send on espionage such among those under his protection as are desirous to earn a livelihood, ordering each of them to detect a particular kind of crime committed in connection with the king’s wealth and to report of it when they come to receive their subsistence and wages. All the ascetics (under the recluse) shall severally send their followers on similar errands.”

  CHANAKYA ON OPERATING IN THE FIELD

  Chanakya further provides suggestions for how to go about getting information in the field, writing thus: “Merchant spies inside forts; saints and ascetics in the suburbs of forts; the cultivator and the recluse in country parts; herdsmen in the boundaries of the country; in forests, forest-dwellers and chiefs of wild tribes, shall be stationed to ascertain the movements of enemies. All these spies shall be very quick in the dispatch of their work... a man with shaved head or braided hair and desirous to earn livelihood is a spy under the guise of an ascetic practising austerities. Such a spy surrounded by a host of disciples with shaved head or braided hair may take his abode in the suburbs of a city, and pretend as a person barely living on a handful of vegetables or meadow grass taken once in the interval of a month or two, but he may take in secret his favourite food-stuffs. Merchant spies pretending to be his disciples may worship him as one possessed of preternatural powers. His other disciples may widely proclaim that ‘this ascetic is an accomplished expert of preternatural powers’. Regarding those persons who, desirous of knowing their future, throng to him, he may, through palmistry, foretell such future events as he can ascertain by the nods and signs of his disciples concerning the works of high-born people of the country.”

  CHANAKYA ON ENTRAPPING THIEVES

  Four simple steps are required:

  1) Ingratiate yourself with a band of thieves.

  2) Persuade them of your miraculous powers and that you can enter a village using these miraculous powers.

  3) Enter village where the villagers have been prepared for your coming and are willing to play a part in your plan. Thus the village guards will pretend not see you after you have cast an “invisibility mantra”.

  4) The thieves can then be apprehended while robbing a house. Secret identification marks on the stolen items will prove they were stolen.

  “MIRACULOUS RESULTS CAN BE ACHIEVED BY PRACTISING THE METHODS OF SUBVERSION”

  Chanakya

  CHANAKYA ON TRANSMISSION OF INTELLIGENCE

  “The intelligence gathered from roving spies shall be… transmitted by code. Sometimes transmission of intelligence gathered by agents within the house may become difficult if nuns are prevented from entering it. In such a case, the intelligence gathered shall be transmitted by means of songs, speech, signs or messages in code hidden inside musical instruments or vessels, to other agents appearing at the door in disguise (as the parent of a servant, an artist, a singer or a slave).”

  It should be noted that during my long and illustrious career, I have not once had cause to engage a nun for the transmitting of intelligence. However in those far off days of yore, nuns were plentiful and willing messengers. That is not to say that the same principle does not hold. Electronic means are today readily available. Yet any and all means may be used in time of need. An investigator must be prepared to improvise at all times. Not long back, I sent a message by means of paper kite. Another time, I got a message written in Urdu in henna on a young female’s hand. Also, it should be said that nuns remain reliable when it comes to keeping secrets. Same can be said of monks in general. Reverse is true of drivers. No driver would keep a secret for more than one hour. After, the whole neighbourhood will know everything. This in itself can be useful for spreading disinformation – faster and more efficient than using internet, in fact.

  Shehnai - a musical instrument useful for transmission of intelligence.

  CHANAKYA ON DETECTING POISON

  “When the vapour arising from cooked rice possesses the colour of the neck of a peacock, and appears chill as if suddenly cooled, when vegetables possess an unnatural colour, and are watery and hardened, and appear to have suddenly turned dry, being possessed of broken layers of blackish foam, and being devoid of smell, touch and taste natural to them; when utensils reflect light either more or less than usual, and are covered with a layer of foam at their edges; when any liquid preparation possesses streaks on its surface; when milk bears a bluish streak in the centre of its surface; when liquor and water possess reddish streaks; when curd is marked with black and dark streaks, and honey with white streaks; when watery things appear parched as if overcooked and look blue and swollen; when dry things have shrunk and changed in their colour; when hard things appear soft, and soft things hard; when carpets and curtains possess blackish circular spots, with their threads and hair fallen off; when metallic vessels set with gems appear tarnished as though by roasting, and have lost their polish, colour, shine, and softness of touch, presence of poison shall be inferred.”

  Knowledge of this passage once saved my life, thank the God! At the present time I cannot divulge all details as the case is still pending in the court (for 15 years in fact, the judge having eaten a substantial bribe it seems and using delaying tactics). But in short, I noticed that some subzi that had been prepared for my good self was a little foamy and therefore refrained from eating it. After, I offered it to a stray dog, who expired on the spot.

  Aconite - a deadly poison, readily available in India and often used for nefarious purposes.

  SHERLOCK HOLMES, A JOHNNY CUM LATELY

  As I have told Mr. Tarkin so many of times, Sherlock Holmes made use of techniques practised in India long before Baker Street dreamed of. Proof of this comes at long last from no les
s an authority than one Francesca Orsini of London University, a Britisher no less. The quote under is taken from her book. Kindly note bold is added by good self for emphasis.

  “An epistemological8 model based on the deciphering of clues emerged in the sphere of the social sciences in the late nineteenth century [in the Western world] which, though claiming ‘scientifically’, had its roots in ancient methods of divination. Thus, Sherlock Holmes’s brilliant deduction from clues had ancient and even specifically Indian forebears: the very term ‘serendipity’ coined in 1754 by Horace Walpole to indicate happy and unexpected discoveries by ‘accidental sagacity’, was taken from the story of the three princes of Serendip, who ‘were always making discoveries by accidents and sagacity, of things they were not in quest of: for instance, one of them discovered that a mule blind of the right eye had travelled the same road lately, because the grass was eaten only on the left side’. This story had first appeared in Europe in mid-sixteenth century Venice in an Italian translation of a Persian text, which was none other than the masnavi Hasht Bihisht (Eight Paradises, 1301) by Amir Khusrau of Delhi (1251-1325).”9

  So it is true. Let there be no doubt about it. As for the tale of the three princes referred to by Francesca Orsini above, it is reproduced under for those who are unfamiliar with it:

  Tale of the Three Princes

  In ancient times there existed in the country of Serendip a great and powerful king. He had three sons who were very dear to him. Being a good father and very concerned about their education, he decided that he had to leave them endowed not only with great power, but also with all kinds of virtues of which princes are particularly in need. The father found the best possible tutors and to them he entrusted the training of his sons, with the understanding that the best they could do for him was to teach them in such a way that they could be immediately recognised as his very own.

  The three princes made excellent progress in the arts and sciences. But the king had his doubts regarding their training and summoned his sons. He decided to test them and declared to each in turn that he planned to retire to the contemplative life, leaving them as king. Each politely declined, affirming the father’s superior wisdom and fitness to rule. The king was pleased, but fearing that his sons’ education may have been too sheltered and privileged, sent them on a journey.

  While travelling along a particular road, the three princes identified, through the power of observation taught to them by their wise tutors, certain tell-tale signs that indicated that a camel had passed along the same way ahead of them. What’s more, they were able to ascertain that the camel was lame, blind in one eye, missing a tooth, carrying a pregnant woman, and bearing honey on one side and butter on the other.

  Later, they encountered a merchant whose camel had been stolen. The princes asked him if it was the same camel that had travelled the road, describing the beast and its burden. Convinced that the princes stole his property, the merchant dragged the three young men before the Emperor. The Emperor demanded to know how the princes were able to give such an accurate description of the camel without, as they claimed, having laid eyes upon it.

  They explained their reasoning thus: the grass had been eaten from the side of the road where it was less green, so the princes had inferred that the camel was blind in one eye. Because there were lumps of chewed grass on the road, they deduced that the camel was missing a tooth. The tracks showed the prints of only three feet, the fourth dragging behind, indicating that the animal was lame. The fact that butter was carried on one side of the camel and honey on the other was plainly evident given that small amounts had dripped down onto the road, attracting trails of ants.

  As for the pregnant woman, one of the princes said: “I knew that the camel had carried a woman because I noticed that near the tracks where the animal knelt down, the imprint of a woman’s foot was visible. I found some urine nearby and wet my fingers. As a reaction to its odour I felt a sort of carnal concupiscence, which convinced me that it was the urine of a woman.”

  “I guessed that the same woman must have been pregnant,” said another prince, “because I noticed nearby handprints which were indicative that the woman, being pregnant, had helped herself up with her hands after urinating.”

  At this moment an officer entered the Emperor’s court to report that a lame camel had been found wandering in the desert. The Emperor therefore spared the lives of the three princes, lavished rich rewards upon them and appointed them to be his advisors.

  FROM VOLTAIRE TO POE TO DOYLE

  French philosopher Voltaire adapted the story of the three princes and their abilities in his novel, Zadig, which was published in 1747. Zadig had a profound effect on whole of Western literature and thereby its mindset. Thus: “Edgar Allan Poe in his turn was probably inspired by Zadig when he created C. Auguste Dupin in The Murders in the Rue Morgue, calling it a ‘tale of ratiocination’10 where ‘the extent of information obtained lies not so much in the validity of the inference as in the quality of the observation’. Poe’s M. Dupin stories mark the start of the modern detective genre. Émile Gaboriau11 and Arthur Conan Doyle were perhaps also influenced by Zadig.”12

  JAIN PHILOSOPHY

  Jainism is a religion dating back thousands of years, its origins lost in the murky mists of time. One of the most important and fundamental doctrines of Jainism is Anekāntavāda. It can be traced back to the teachings of a Jain saint by the name of Mahavira who lived six centuries before the Jesus. Anekāntavāda refers to the “principles of multiplicity of viewpoints, the notion that truth and reality are perceived differently from diverse points of view and that no single point of view is the complete truth”.

  Jain texts explain the concept with the story of the blind men and the elephant. Thus four or five blind ones come across an elephant. Not having encountered a pachyderm before, each man touches a different part of the creature and comes to a wrong conclusion regarding what-all it is exactly. One touching the ear believes it is a fan. Another feeling a leg says it is a pillar and so forth, with none of the group understanding or correctly identifying the object in its entirety.

  Thus we can see clearly where exactly Conan Doyle got his inspiration for Sherlock Holmes’s powers of deduction that so impressed that duffer Watson. Holmes was familiar with Anekāntavāda, the doctrine of logic and reasoning, just as my Indian predecessors have been for so many of millennia. That is how we can look at the problem from all angles and put all assumptions to one side. Appreciation and understanding of this ancient Indian philosophy is a fundamental for the trainee detective. It is one that should be remembered and considered at all times by even the most senior and seasoned investigator such as my good self.

  INDIA’S CONTRIBUTION TO FORENSICS

  Owing to the decline in our economy and political system thanks to European expansion and colonialism not to mention repression, the Western world has taken the lead with regard to science in modern times. However India has for millennia been at the forefront of the development of forensic medicine, having made numerous breakthroughs that have gone unrecognised.

  CHANAKYA ON AUTOPSY

  In Arthashastra, Chanakya declares autopsy an absolute must when he writes: “The magistrate shall conduct a post-mortem on any case of sudden death after smearing the body with oil to bring out bruises, swellings and other injuries… The examination of the cause of death shall be conducted even in cases where it appears that the person has committed suicide by hanging because sometimes for fear of punishment, marks are produced on the throat of the body after the murder.”

  Chanakya states that murder can be committed in four ways:

  1) By stopping a victim’s breathing, in other words through strangulation, hanging, asphyxiation or drowning.

  2) By physical injury.

  3) By poisoning. This could be from a snake or insect bite or the ingestion of a narcotic drug, the latter being by far the most common.

  The forensic evidence for establishing the cause of death is as
follows:

  • Strangling: urine and faeces thrown out, skin of the abdomen inflated with wind, swollen hands and feet, eyes open, marks on the throat.

  • Hanging: in addition to above indications for strangling, contractions of arms and thighs.

  • Asphyxiation: swollen hands, feet or abdomen, sunken eyes, inflated navel.

  • Drowning: protruding eyes or anus, bitten tongue, swollen abdomen.

  • Beaten to Death With Sticks or Stones: broken or dislocated limbs, body covered in blood.

  • Hurled Down From a Height: limbs shattered or burst.

  • Poisoning: dark hands, feet, teeth or nails; loose flesh, hair or skin, foamy mouth.

  • Snake or Insect Bite: as above, with bloody bite marks.

  • Narcotic Drugs: clothes strewn about, body spread-eagled, excessive vomiting and purging.

  Chanakya adds: “In case death is suspected to be due to poisoning, the undigested parts of the meal shall be tested by feeding it to birds. If these parts, when thrown in fire, produce a crackling sound and become multicoloured, poisoning is proved. If the heart or stomach does not burn when the body is cremated, then poisoning is also proved.”

  And: “On finding the murdered body of a stranger, his personal belongings such as clothes, dress and ornaments shall be examined. Dealers in these articles shall be questioned about their meeting with the dead man, his stay in that place, the reason for his stay, his occupation and his business dealings. Further investigations shall be made on the basis of these enquiries.”