Gratitude in Motion
Page 23
I hope that, through my trauma, I manage to plant seeds in fertile ground—enough for whole lemon groves to pop up all around the world. I may never know exactly what God’s plan is for my life, but I know that as long as I’m breathing, I’m going to do my best to live with purpose and gratitude for every moment I get. I will use this once broken, scarred body to spread the most beautiful message I can: Love is always louder.
Photos
Siblings—Shawn age 8, Erin age 5, and me age 2.
Sean’s senior prom, Daytona Beach, Florida, 1991.
Two weeks post–brain surgery at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital.
Two weeks post-trauma at Yale Surgical Intensive Unit, 2011.
Week 3 at Gaylord Rehabilitation Center. (Sean Alexander)
Superhero Half Marathon in New Jersey, 2012. (Sean Alexander)
Pelvis x-ray at my two-year post-trauma appointment.
Gasparilla Challenge Race, 2014. (Sean Alexander)
The Boulder 70.3, 2015. (Erin Kelly)
Newport Marathon, after surgery 28 to have expanders implanted, non–weight bearing. (Newport Marathon)
David Smith, my hero who was the main witness to the trauma. (Sean Alexander)
Runner’s World photo shoot. (Reed Young)
At dinner in Los Angeles with Archbishop Desmond Tutu after an International Peace Conference.
Madison heroes— Patricia Palaia, Amanda Bernier, and Lyndsay Cummings. (Adam Coppola)
Red Cross Gala—my parents, husband, brother, and sister-inlaw, with close friends Julia, Brian, Marie, Abigail, and her fiancé, Mark, 2016. (Red Cross)
Doing a tree pose in 2016. (Global Click Photography)
Full circle—honored to guide Barbara at the Redding Road Race Half Marathon. (Sean Alexander)
Giving thanks at the Red Cross Gala after receiving an award, 2016. (Sean Alexander)
Competing in the Atlantic City Triathlon with our nephew Javan Kelly.
An afternoon ride in my hometown, 2017. (Sean Alexander)
Acknowledgments
God—By the grace of God, go I. I know my number will eventually be up one of these days. Thank You for giving me the opportunity to be a change maker on this Earth a little while longer. In the face of trauma and grief, it is easy to question Your will and wonder why we face such pain and suffering. I found myself diving deep into prayer seeking guidance and direction. I am grateful for every breath I take. Thank You for showing me Your love through so many that have loved me. Thank You for grace.
Sean Alexander—You showed me kindness and have exemplified love and respect since we dated in high school. Your patience throughout this process has been exceptional. Thank you for engulfing me every day in love and strength. Thank you for believing in me when no one knew if I would breathe on my own. Thank you for supporting me from the moment I woke up through each surgery, each race, and every harebrained idea. Thank you for your willingness to help me live my life to the fullest. Thank you for being my best friend, and my lover even when the physical act of intimacy was destroyed. Thank you for showing me what faithfulness and love should be. Thank you for believing in our story. Thank you for reminding me that it is we. Thank you for holding my hand when doubt filled my soul, and reminding me to pray. Thank you for being a man who is centered in Christ’s love. We are truly so much stronger together. I love you.
My family—Thank you for being at my side. You have shown me the never-ending bond of family. My mother and father, you encouraged and watched when I learned to walk for the second time. Thank you for helping me when I learned to eat solid food again, and even when I needed to learn that, despite being completely vulnerable and feeling like a helpless infant, I was still very much a strong woman of value and beauty, and a child of God.
My medical team—To my chief trauma surgeon, Dr. Kaplan, I give eternal gratitude. You are a man I have learned to respect so much over the years. Thank you for your dedication to trauma medicine. Thank you for the integrity, dedication, sweat, and fight you dedicate to every one of your patients. I am so grateful you were there that day. You have become a part of my soul. You were more than my trauma surgeon; you were my “quarterback” who looked over all surgeries and care for the next several years. You chose to allow yourself to be available for my many emails and questions. Your professionalism never wavered and yet you allowed yourself to also be available for psychological needs, as I had many. Thank you for always being honest with me. You are a fierce and loyal wolf in the field of medicine. Thank you.
To my orthopedic surgeon and fellow cyclist Dr. Baumgaertner, thank you for screwing me back together. Thank you for treating me like the wife, daughter, sister, friend, and cyclist that I am, and not simply a patient. Thank you for helping me bike and run again.
Dr. Persing, thank you for saving my leg. Thank you for your patience through years of surgeries and expansion. Thank you for believing in me.
Dr. Reddy, thank you for helping to piece me back together while treating me with such respect and dignity.
To the rest of my surgeons, I say thank you. Thank you for letting me hug you pre- and post-op, thank you for putting the human element strongly back into the OR pre- and post-. To my SICU nurses, I do not remember many of your faces from the time I spent in the coma; however, I remember your voices and the care and integrity you provided to me while I could not provide for myself.
To the staff at Gaylord, you all believed in me and never sugarcoated the state I was in, or what still lay ahead of me and the potential complications. I would not have recovered and been able to continue to heal and thrive without you. To my home healthcare professionals, I love you all. To my physical therapists, massage therapists, occupational therapists, emotional therapist Leslie Hyman, thank you. To the Madison EMS, firefighters, and police, you guys are our front line. Thank you for being everyday heroes.
Friends—You went above and beyond helping to take care of me after the trauma. You were also strong forces of encouragement as I began writing this memoir. Thank you eternally. I know at times it was quite trying and even a bit awkward. Your laughter, tears, hugs, shower help while holding tubes, gross wound care, and sarcasm are forever appreciated.
Mentors—Thank you, Matt Long, for being available to talk and be a mentor throughout my journey. Thank you for being a role model and showing me what I can achieve. Thank you for sharing your story of survival with the world to help others know they can say, “I will.” Thank you, Jody Williams, for being a force of nature. Thank you for teaching me and thousands of others across the globe that “emotion without action is irrelevant.” Thank you for showing me that I can rise and be an advocate for change. Thank you, Bart Yasso, for being so open, and full of love and support. Thank you for being the ambassador of the running community. Thank you for helping me understand my value as a runner, even though I felt broken, slow, and unworthy.
My literary team—To my agent, Sorche Fairbank; and my beautiful, patient, and amazingly talented ghostwriter, Jenna Glatzer; my editor Christina Boys; Hannah Phillips; Laura Cherkas; and Center Street Publishing: What an honor to work with such a committed and talented team. Thank you to Scott Rigsby for introducing me to Jenna.
Blood donors—You selflessly give your time and your blood. You are heroes. Thank you for giving me the gift of life.
Bill Bloss—You are a humble and selfless man. You were an incredible rock for us and a fierce protector as we went forward through years of pain, fear, anger, and frustration. Thank you for treating us as a human family and for respecting us. You are an incredible man of so much integrity, and we have been honored by you.
How to Be a Hero
My life would have ended in 2011 were it not for the heroes who showed up. There are so many ways to be somebody’s future hero; here are a few of the ways that resonate with me.
1. Donate blood.
Every two seconds, someone in the United States needs blood—which includes trauma patients, those being treated for
cancer, people with sickle-cell disease, those with complications from surgery, and many others. The average red blood cell transfusion is three pints. I needed seventy-eight units just in the first seventy-two hours! This included platelets (which help blood coagulate and are essential for trauma patients), plasma (needed by burn, trauma, and cancer patients), and whole blood.
There is a critical need for platelets because they cannot be stored for more than five days and are always in demand. To donate platelets, you must be at least sixteen years old (seventeen in some states). It’s a longer process that must be done at a Red Cross center (not at a blood drive), and you can donate up to twenty-four times a year. Six whole blood donations must be separated and pooled to provide a single platelet transfusion. However, one apheresis platelet donation provides enough platelets for one complete transfusion.
To donate plasma, you must have type AB blood, which is very rare (only 4 percent of donors). It takes a little over an hour and can only be done at select Red Cross donation centers.
For more information visit www.redcrossblood.org.
2. Learn CPR and first aid.
CPR does work! You can register for CPR and first aid classes through most town halls, get information from your local libraries, or visit www.redcross.org to find classes near you. The Red Cross offers classes across the globe. You never know when you’ll encounter an emergency situation—would you know how to effectively and safely perform CPR on a child, do the Heimlich maneuver, or help someone who’s fainted in front of you? Take the class and refresh your knowledge every couple of years.
3. Learn the “Rules of the Road” for cycling and pedestrian safety.
Educate yourself as a motorist, pedestrian, and cyclist. It is everyone’s responsibility to be safe and respectful to one another on our streets. Bicyclists have the same rights and responsibilities on the road as drivers, so pass safely and don’t squeeze cyclists off the road. Model safe driving and riding to younger individuals. Pledge not to text and drive, and use patience behind the wheel. Remember, we are role models and examples, and everyone is someone’s everything!
For cyclists, visit www.bikeleague.org/content/rules-road-0 for bike rules and videos, and remember that helmets save lives! For fun and functional helmets for all ages, check out www.nutcasehelmets.com.
4. Support the ALS Foundation.
I made a promise to Amanda and her daughter as well as my cousin Spencer that I would continue spreading the message of the need for funds to help find a cure for ALS. Visit www.als.org.
5. Support your local fire/EMS station.
Most firefighters and emergency medical workers help on a volunteer or per diem basis and rely heavily on private donations to offset the many costs of running an emergency management service. Visit your fire department and ask how you can help. Aside from financial donations, they might also need help with things like mailings, writing letters, or planning events.
6. Be a mentor.
Look for local programs that can connect you with at-risk kids who could really use support and guidance. You can find them through Big Brothers Big Sisters of America, youth centers, crisis centers, and school social workers. You don’t need to be a teacher, a parent, or a perfect person—you just need to be willing to invest some time with a young person who may not have good role models.
7. Become a guide for a challenged athlete or volunteer to help with events.
Achilles International asks for volunteers to run or walk with disabled athletes both during training and during events. You can sign up here: www.achillesinternational.org/volunteers. You can also get involved with other organizations that benefit challenged athletes, such as Dare2Tri (www.dare2tri.org), the Scott Rigsby Foundation (www.scottrigsbyfoundation.org), the Challenged Athletes Foundation (www.challengedathletes.org), and Special Olympics (www.specialolympics.org). You don’t need athletic ability to help out with things like handing out water, helping at the sign-in station, helping athletes with transitions during triathlons, or fundraising for equipment and race sponsorships. It is so empowering for disabled athletes to retain their identity; do what you can to be a part of that.
8. Be a force for peace.
In this increasingly tumultuous time, find ways to chip in to solve local and global problems. For more information on PeaceJam, go to www.peacejam.org. You can also help out in the organization’s quest to achieve one billion acts of peace at www.billionacts.org. There, you can create your own act of peace or join in on someone else’s.
9. Express your gratitude.
You never know when someone really needs to hear your words or have you show your appreciation of the kindness they show others. I found a tangible way to express my gratitude by giving away my medals. What can you do to show people that they make a difference?
10. HONOR YOURSELF!
Learn to be gentle to yourself and remember to love yourself. Treat yourself like you would treat any young person; that same young version of you is still part of your soul. Be your own hero! Remember, if we do not provide our own self-care and self-love, we cannot be strong for others. Take time in your life to pray, and find gratitude in even the littlest things.
About the Authors
Colleen Kelly Alexander (www.colleenkellyalexander.com) is a lifelong athlete and motivational speaker. With her indomitable spirit and amazing story of survival, Colleen teaches others how to aim higher, be stronger, and use adversity as a catalyst to make themselves and the world better. She was the executive director of the Common Ground Youth Center in Vermont for eight years and a regional program manager for PeaceJam, where Nobel Peace laureates mentor youth. She has also worked for, volunteered for, and is heavily involved with the Red Cross. She lives in a New England coastal town with her husband and their three dogs and cat.
Jenna Glatzer (www.jennaglatzer.com) is the author or ghostwriter of twenty-nine books, including Celine Dion’s authorized biography and The Marilyn Monroe Treasures. She and her daughter live in New York.
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