Delilah and Ethan

by Annie Boone

  He wanted to have his words sorted out and to be completely prepared for his confrontation. Turning away from the direction of town, Ethan started the horse off towards the open road. The sun was already warm against his neck, a lovely summer day that was dry and raw on his skin. But the young man hardly noticed because of his thoughts. Ethan’s gaze narrowed as he reached the Jessup’s house.

  It was a large one as though it were built for a big family. There was a wrap-around porch with a bench in the front. There were a few large windows with a small flower garden below the windows. To the side, near a tree, there was a water trough where Ethan jumped down and tied the horse. It wasn’t like they would be there for very long, after all.

  Ethan went to the door and straightened his jacket. Gritting his teeth, he pulled off his hat and rapped on the door firmly. He paused and waited, listening for the sound of footsteps. It only took another minute before he heard someone pattering down the hall. The sound made his heart beat and his palms began to sweat.

  No weakness, he told himself. He swallowed and blinked as Mrs. Jessup appeared in the doorway, a bright and rather disarming smile on her face. She beamed as if she didn’t know what Miss Delilah Waterford was up to. Ethan was skeptical that she’d be unaware but decided this wasn’t the time to concern himself with anyone else. It didn’t matter who knew what at this point. Delilah and kept important details from him and she was the only one who should have told him. So, he’d tell her what he knew and see what she had to say.

  “I know this is unusual,” he started, “but is Miss Waterford available? I need to speak with her.”

  Her smile faded slightly and she nodded. The woman glanced over her shoulder as she twisted the towel in her hands. “Of course, Mr. Townsend. She’s just in the kitchen. Would you like to come in?”

  “No,” he said shortly. “Out here will do. Thank you,” he added belatedly, hoping that would help. But the expression on her face made him uncertain.

  Yet she left all the same, leaving the door hanging open a crack. Ethan hardly paid attention as he started to pace. It was a large porch which plenty of room and he was growing antsy. Gripping his hat tightly with both hands, the young man started to murmur the words over and over to himself of what he intended to say to her.

  “Ethan? What a surprise, I…”

  Delilah’s smile faded as he turned to face her from the far end of the porch. The bubbling tension in his stomach had tightened and Ethan was only glad that he could finally get this taken care of. Stomping over, he grabbed her hand and led her to the far side of the porch where they were less likely to be overheard.

  “Is something wrong?” Delilah asked him uncertainly.

  He scoffed. “Is something wrong?” He repeated. “I could ask you the same thing! Miss Waterford, I don’t know what you were thinking before, but something certainly is wrong. I’ve let this go on for far too long and I should have confronted you the moment I learned that you were false!”

  The young woman took a step back, her eyes widening. “False? I don’t understand. Ethan, what is this?”

  “I know,” he shook his head, uncertain of why she would try to keep hiding the truth. “I know the truth. About your siblings and how you expected to get married to bring them here.” He added with a dark look. Part of him had hoped that this was all a lie, a small glimmer of hope telling him perhaps Miss Cullen had her information wrong.

  But Delilah Waterford’s expression said the truth. Her head drooped and her lips parted in a painful expression. The young woman couldn’t even look him in the eye. She put out a hand, but he jerked his arm back. “Oh. I, um… Please let me—”

  “Lie some more? Go right ahead. Tell me what you kept hidden before. I can’t believe I trusted you. After everything we shared, after everything…” Ethan shook his head, made speechless with frustration. Suddenly he didn’t even want to yell at her, the disappointment was so deep and he was exhausted.

  What else was there to say? The triumph he felt was dampened by the pain on Delilah’s face. She was sniffling, wiping tears away from her face. “No, Ethan. You don’t understand. I only—”

  He put up his hand, not wanting to hear lies. He didn’t want to hear any of it. All Ethan felt was a well of bitterness and there was a sour taste in his mouth. “At least Miss Cullen had the decency to warn me.”

  Delilah gulped loudly. “Ethan, please don’t be so hasty.”

  “No,” he put his hands up, having had enough. He had hardly slept that night and all that anger had kept the adrenaline going. It had faded away with every word, piece by piece, simmering now within his chest. “You shouldn’t have kept this. I can’t believe…”

  The young woman opened her mouth and made a small sound before she glanced away. “I… I wanted to, but I…”

  But she couldn’t say anything. Of course not. He pursed his lips and scoffed. “You should have told me. You should have been honest from the very beginning. Who do you think you are to assume the worst or make decisions for me? I could have at least decided for myself. But you didn’t even think about giving that to me. You know, I’ve met a lot of people in this world. Yet I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone so selfish.”

  He turned to leave, unable to look at her anymore. Ethan couldn’t just stand around and he didn’t want to be near her. And now she was openly crying, realizing that her plans were ruined. It was too much.

  Ethan turned to leave, but she touched his shoulder. “Please,” she begged. “Please, I’m so sorry, Ethan. I didn’t know what to do, I was afraid… I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I promise, I didn’t.”

  It wasn’t a strong grasp so he pulled himself away, refusing to look at her. It’s too late, he thought, and stalked off. With the reins in his hands, he climbed onto his horse and knew he had to make it back to work. Trying to think of better things, Ethan didn’t look back as he returned to Rocky Ridge.

  Chapter Fourteen

  At first it had been like a knife to her stomach. But then he had twisted it in several times before leaving her there on the porch. Delilah could hardly see through her tears as Ethan Townsend left her and didn’t even look back. Trying to keep her jaw from trembling, she took a deep breath and blinked back the tears. But they wouldn’t stop. Now they came in full force.

  Delilah Waterford gasped for breath and doubled over, feeling a tightness in her chest. The truth of what just happened kept hitting her harder every time. Her eyes squeezed tightly shut as she clung to the corner post and tried to prevent the sobs from getting louder. When the tears flooded down her cheeks, she gave up on trying to keep them at bay.

  Her head ached, but her heart ached more. How had this happened?

  She didn’t understand and the whole conversation with Ethan was a blur. Delilah choked on her breath, thinking of his face. The moment she had seen his expression, she’d known something was drastically wrong. Ethan was a kind young man and had few reasons to be upset. And he had told her about them in the past, about when he saw animals being mistreated. Ethan had even confessed about having been hurt by another young woman two years ago in school, and she had known in her heart she could never do that to him.

  But this was nothing she could have expected or dreamed of happening. The way he had looked at her with that dark look in his eyes was so unnerving. She shuddered. He wasn’t dangerous, but he was mad.

  Yet Ethan was right. He deserved to be upset and that’s what made this so much worse. If it had been an injustice she had no part in, then Delilah wouldn’t have felt guilty. But she’d been deliberately keeping this from him, hoping and praying that things might work out on their own.

  Just that morning she had dressed for the day, humming and singing to herself. Ethan was supposed to come see her after supper, and he was going to teach her how to play his flute. He’d shown it to her before, and played a few rusty songs. So when he showed up unannounced like that, she had no idea what to expect.

  A sob escaped her lips
and she clamped a hand over her mouth, squeezing her eyes tight. The next one lodged painfully in her throat but Delilah didn’t care. She didn’t want anyone to hear. If she was lucky, then everyone would still be inside at the kitchen table long enough for her to pull herself together. If that ever happened.

  Another sob and a hiccup. She winced and shook her head. Her hair fell in her face as she hid it from the world, embarrassed and guilty. Delilah tried to breathe normally and found that she couldn’t as a heaving wave of sobs forced their way out.

  After another few minutes of crying and trying to stop, the sobs melted into sighs. Delilah’s mind was clearing just enough to start putting some of what Ethan said together.

  How did he find out from Rachel? How could she have known? It made no sense. And the guilt hung over her head like a dark cloud. She should have told him about her family, there was no getting past that. Why, she hadn’t even mentioned her siblings before. It had never come up but that didn’t mean she shouldn’t have said something.

  A hand touched her shoulder, and she flinched and started crying again. Clinging to the post, she ducked her head in shame. Through her sobs, she could hear Mrs. Jessup talking to her softly. “Delilah, dear? What is it? What happened? Please, Delilah.”

  The woman rubbed her back comfortingly, running a hand over her long hair. Delilah recalled how her mother used to do the same for her when she was in a bad mood. It hadn’t been that long since they died in the fire, and the memory brought back the pain of losing them. Now she had lost Ethan as well.

  Delilah crumpled and Susannah pulled her from the corner post onto the nearby bench. The woman wrapped her arms around her comfortingly, offering sympathetic words as they rocked back and forth.

  Ethan was gone. He hadn’t even let her apologize, Delilah thought, and she would never be able to explain the truth to him. But he had been right, every word. Her omission had been deceitful and she was sorely ashamed. What had she been thinking? The guilt continued to pour over her even as she fought to compose herself.

  The hiccups came back as she tried to catch her breath. Susannah offered a handkerchief and she dabbed at her face when the tears didn’t stop immediately. Delilah rubbed her eyes and took several deep breaths as the other woman slowly pulled her hair from her face.

  “There you are,” Susannah offered a smile. “Delilah, whatever happened? Did… did Ethan hurt you?”

  Delilah shook her head as the woman frowned. “No, he would never… I only…” she hiccupped again. Sniffling, she tried to orient her thoughts. “He just… I never told him about my family,” she choked out finally.

  Mrs. Susannah Jessup cocked her head as she tried to understand. “Did that upset him? Dear, whatever it is…”

  “That’s not it,” the girl murmured. “I only thought—well, if I was married here, then I thought perhaps I could… I could bring my sisters and my brother out here. They can’t stay with my aunt much longer. I’ve left them alone for so long and she’s not a nice woman. I only thought if I married, if I found a man willing, that… that he would take all of us in.”

  It was hard admitting the truth. Though Delilah had mentioned pieces of her story, she hadn’t told anyone everything. Only in the last month had her siblings sorted out how to start hiding the letters from their aunt and that was because her vision was failing. But none of this prevented the guilt from resting heavily on her shoulders. She ducked her head and wiped away another stream of tears.

  Susannah sighed. “Well, honesty does have its place. I’m not sure how the pieces all fit together there, though. How did he find out?”

  Delilah drew a deep breath and brushed more tears away. “He said Miss Cullen told him. Apparently, that happened last night. When I left him on the porch all was well.”

  Susannah frowned. “Miss Cullen? When did she even see him?”

  Delilah sighed with another hiccup. “She met us at the door after the picnic. I came in to help with supper as you’d requested.”

  Susannah’s frown deepened. “Well, the point now is to get this sorted out. I’m sure if you talk to him he’ll understand.”

  Delilah shook her head. “I couldn’t, I already tried. He wouldn’t hear it. Oh, he was so upset. I never dreamed of hurting him like this and I didn’t think this would end so badly.” She leaned back in her seat, staring out onto the yard with wide eyes.

  If she didn’t have Ethan, then what was she doing in Colorado? Delilah had been here for months. Months away from Philadelphia and away from the rest of her family. It hurt her to pass the days without them, knowing they weren’t truly safe or happy. She was only tearing them apart by being away. By now, she had expected to be wed. And Susannah clearly didn’t have anyone else for her.

  Without Ethan, Delilah realized, she had no other reason to stay since she’d only come here to find a husband.

  “Now I’m sure if you could reach out to him. Try to talk to him again,” Susannah was saying. “Perhaps he only needs some time to think. Men tend to act before they have all the information. And in the time I’ve had here, I’ve learned that nothing is beyond repair. Truly, Delilah, I believe that with all my heart. He just needs to hear the truth, the complete truth and your reasons.”

  Delilah shook her head. “I tried, Mrs. Jessup. I’m sorry, but I tried and…” Slowly she stood and hesitantly offered the damp handkerchief back. “I think it’s best for me to leave now. If Mr. Jessup would give me a ride back to the train station, I’d be most appreciative. And then I’ll be on the first train out.”

  “What? No, please. You don’t need to leave us. This can be sorted out.”

  “I think it’s best for all of us for me to go. I’m sorry, ma’am.” She couldn’t look the woman as she turned and went inside. A jumble of emotions coursed through her body as she crossed through the hall, trying to collect herself. Delilah wiped away her tears and hurried off to her room.

  Her nose wouldn’t stop running but she found her handkerchief on top of her other pair of shoes. Delilah shoved everything else in the bag and then blew her nose. She fixed a crooked bedsheet before reaching under the bed for her little box and stared at the letters.

  On the bright side, she decided, she wouldn’t need to keep writing them. They were the only things that had kept her going as she had prayed to find a direction out here. A lump formed in her throat. “I’m so sorry,” she murmured. Well, Delilah thought, at least she would be able to say that to them in person.

  The letters were put in her bag and she found her pocket of change. It wasn’t much, she knew, but surely there would be enough for a train ticket home. She grasped it tightly and slipped it in her pocket as she climbed back to her feet. Delilah paused before leaving, looking around at the cozy room. It was small but quaint and everything about it had been good.

  But then Ethan’s face came to mind and her heart broke again.

  The last thing she saw in the room was the small mirror hanging on the wall. Delilah hardly recognized the face looking back at her. It was pink, especially her nose. Her eyes were swollen and she was a mess. Hurriedly she turned away, for it wasn’t as though she had ever been a sight to see before. She sniffled and carried her bag towards the back of the house where Mr. Jessup would be preparing to leave for the day.

  On her way to the kitchen, she heard a clatter and looked up to see Rachel Cullen standing there. She had dropped a large spoon and was staring. Delilah looked up and caught her eye. It was her, she recalled, who had told Ethan the truth. But how had she known? And why had she done such a thing? Delilah wondered how she could be so cruel.

  Rachel Cullen just stared at her with a knowing smile on her lips. Delilah was forced to turn away, ashamed. It was still her fault, she was the one who hadn’t been honest. No matter how Ethan had found out, he’d been told the truth. Mortified for looking like the mess she was, compared to the pretty girl before her, Delilah turned and went out the door. The sooner she was gone, the better.

  Susannah
was out talking to her husband in the yard. Her arms were in the air but he wasn’t moving from his cart. Both grew quiet as Delilah came over. Mr. Jessup stepped down and helped her board the cart, not saying a word.

  His wife followed her around. “Are you quite certain?” she asked. “Please, Delilah. You don’t need to leave. Nothing is broken forever, dear.”

  Pushing the hair down, Delilah didn’t want anyone to see the shame across her face. She had never wished more to be buried in a dark hole. “Thank you for everything, I really appreciate it,” she managed. A lump had appeared in her throat and she didn’t know what to do. Then she tried to offer a smile but couldn’t.

  She thought he conversation was mercifully over, but Susannah decided to join them on the ride into town. She offered a few thoughts that brought Delilah little comfort, though it was kind of her to try. But she had too much else to think about and blocked out the conversation as they traveled. Delilah glanced up at the sun as they reached town, wondering why the weather had to be so cheerful. Her chest ached and she didn’t know what to do about it. Clutching her bag tightly, she stared at the ground as they rolled on through town and the wagon finally came to a stop.

  Hesitantly, she glanced around. Mr. Jessup hopped down to help his wife down onto the ground and then her. Delilah’s hands shook and she wobbled on her feet. Only when she straightened up did the man let go of her arm. Looking up, she realized they were right in front of the train station. The knot in her stomach only tightened.

  Delilah swallowed hard and turned back to the Jessup’s. “Thank you for everything,” she murmured. “I only wish… we ended this on better terms.” She sniffled and looked away. “You did so much for me and I am very grateful. I’m sorry if I disappointed you.”

  Mrs. Jessup hugged her tightly. “Never, my dear, never.” When her husband laid a hand on her shoulders, she stepped back and Delilah glanced at them.