"What do you mean by that?"
"It's you in the middle and you are surrounded by a load of..."
Under his breath Daniel cursed, then uncrossed his ankles and began walking across the room towards her. "You know I am not talking about the photograph."
Upon reaching her he placed his hand around her elbow, giving her a gentle tug so that she was facing him. "This weekend has nothing to do with finding you somewhere to live."
"I am quite capable of finding somewhere to live by myself."
"I have just seen what a great job you did last time."
She gave him a glare. He realised that his hands were brushing against her naked skin and he felt a need to offer her some reassurance. He gently squeezed her elbow. That simple action sent her a message that all he was doing was caring for her. She looked down at his hand before turning her face towards his, glancing up at him from underneath her long eye lashes with a gentle, sexual smile on her face.
He noted how she had shown appreciation for his assurance. They were communicating without words and they fully understood what was being said. And it sent him back to the time long ago when she used to smile at him like that, and he knew that she really did care and that she wasn't despising him. It is incredible what desire and longing can do.
"I know it's nothing like the Hartington pad, you are right about that."
She rolled her eyes as she said it delivering to him a sense of irony. At the same time she had reminded them both of their upbringing and their closeness as youngsters.
He knew they were arguing, but this wasn't arguing from a foundation of anger, this was playful jousting. "Then we are agreed." He gave a confident single nod of his head.
"No we do not," said Emma, with some emphasis on the do not. She felt some pain in having to disagree with him but she spoke with a determined tone, though softly. "It is very noble of you that you are not happy..." She smiled broadly. "With the place where Leila has to live. But I cannot permit myself to be put into your debt. And especially I do not want to be in your debt after this weekend."
Daniel felt that she was rearranging the goalposts and wasn't sure if they had been moved or whether he was misunderstanding something. "Have you had a change of heart since we left your place?"
She did that thing again where she brushed a non-existing piece of hair behind her ear, she looked at his neck so as to avoid his eyes.
"I packed my rucksack because I wanted to. But I am concerned that you might begin to think-"
"That you have sold your soul to the devil?"
She pursed her lips as she swallowed. "It's just that..."
He was beginning to feel rather perturbed about her view of him. He was well aware that he hadn't really helped and there was some basis on which she could form such an opinion, but it's still irritated the hell out of Daniel. "So is that what you really believe I think of you? I told you I would get you another place to live before anything happened in your bedroom. You know that is true, and it has nothing to do with this weekend."
He remembered how he had planned to call her bluff and to chalk up a little victory in their ongoing battle of wills, but somehow all of that didn't seem to matter any more. Everything had changed after he had arrived at her place. He released her arm and she immediately grabbed both of his arms as if to prevent him from going anywhere.
"Don't!"
The scene was beginning to resemble what had taken place earlier in the alleyway at the side of the pub when she had closed in on him and reached out for him. Was he aware that the word was a plea from her to him and that she was reaching out to him rather than rejecting him? He was wondering if he had said something to her to give her the impression that he felt she was doing a deal with the devil. Had he said something? He knew how harsh his words could be in the heat of argument, and even knew when he was arguing with Emma she was more capable than anyone of drawing his most harsh words.
But he had to accept what his original plan had been when he went round to Emma's. On realising his own motives, he began to feel low about himself causing him to want to turn it back on her.
"So having sex with me is the same as selling your soul is it?" Daniel was beginning to notice the hold that she had on him. He wanted her, and he also needed to know that she wanted him and that seemed to give her some control he was unwilling to give her. And more than this he just wanted to know the answer to all those questions that were racing around his mind, he needed her to say out loud all the things he wanted to hear.
"Are you saying that it's me who believes I need to sell my body to you in order to make things right?"
It wasn't a question he needed the answer to, but the fact that she knew it was a question he was asking was a sufficient answer in itself.
"I keep saying the past is gone and we can do nothing to change it. We really need to remember that rather than keep going over it."
He spoke in slow, calm, deliberate tones giving a deathly edge to the atmosphere. The tense stand-off between them caused her to squeeze his wrists tighter and she responded firmly. "I know that, no matter how much I would like to change the past I cannot. But you must realise that I do want to change, and I'm trying to really be the new me."
He looked at her, frowning as he wasn't convinced this wasn't the old Emma with a slightly modernised veneer.
He wanted to judge her and yet he knew that he himself would be hypocritical for doing so. It was only a few hours ago that he had planned to go and see her so that she would want him, and he would make her ache for him. He wanted to make her want him as a payback, because as soon as she desired him he would walk away and make her feel how he had felt all those years ago. He had wanted his revenge from the moment she walked away, right up until the moment he had first seen her again at the party at her parents' house.
But his plan hadn't run smoothly because the moment he saw the place in which she was living his first instinct was to take her away, to protect her and rescue her. And when he kissed her, and touched her, there was nothing premeditated in what he was doing. It all felt so natural, and so right, just as it had felt the very first time they had kissed.
He knew he had made her ache for him, he knew by the way she responded when he had his lips and hands on her. The first part of his plan had worked perfectly, but the second part of his plan where he walks away wasn't going to happen. He also wanted her, quite simply he ached for her beyond all reasonable thinking.
She wanted him and he wanted her, even now with all the turmoil he still wanted her. And yet while she stared at him with that wary look in her eyes, while she still put the big issues under the carpet by hiding them behind passion like she always had...
His sound sharpened and he pulled his wrist downwards releasing her grip. He locked his gaze onto hers and held it for as long as he spoke.
"It's getting late. You can have the guest room, it's at the top of the stairs second door on the left."
"What?"
"On Monday we will find you somewhere to live. You will not be going back to that dump when I can do something about it. That's all there is to it." He clapped his hands and patted both his knees as he crouched down. "Come on Leila, let's have a quick walk around the garden."
Chapter 9
Emma never really managed to get any sleep that night, but it wasn't for the want of trying. Nor was it through the lack of background noise which she had recently got used to, the familiar arguing from next door or the midnight revellers on the street. Nor was it because Leila couldn't settle either as she seemed intent on finding her new best friend, Daniel.
Her sleeplessness was to do with the millions of thoughts racing around her head, the emotions that were fighting inside her heart and because her body was aching so much.
It wasn't as if they had had an angry argument, there was not so much as a raised voice. So why did what had happened that night feel so much worse than when they had been shouting and screaming?
Emma finally threw the
duvet aside when Leila seemed determined to scratch her way through the bedroom door. "Okay Leila, let's go for a walk."
It was very early morning and though the dawn hadn't quite broken there was enough light without the need to find a light switch. She made her way to the big glass sliding doors and pushed them open allowing Leila to go out for an early morning sniff around. Emma then made her way to the kitchen and was surprised to find it so well equipped that she figured he must at least enjoy doing some cooking. And if he did, that made him a better person than her she was thinking, because she seldom took on anything harder than using the microwave. Though the kitchen is purely functional she noted, with little in the way of decoration or accessorizing.
She continued to explore the lower floor and along the hallway she found what she thought should have been a dining room but which was instead a games room. There was a pool table, a giant screen TV and a couple of games consoles with dozens of games stacked neatly on some shelves.
It was the living room she found most interesting in spite of the fact that was the room she had seen the night before. She realised there were more books than she had noticed, and the spines were worn so she knew they had been read. But the most interesting objects in the room were the photographs, it was Daniel's life of the past five or six years when she hadn't known him.
In the morning light she was able to scrutinise the picture she had questioned Daniel about the night before. The children were wearing T-shirts with the big logo on them saying 'The Cheshire Foundation' and Daniel was in the centre of a crowd of young people all laughing and smiling whilst hanging from Daniel's neck. His face was lit up with a big smile in the way she liked to see him the most.
Another photo was of Daniel in a hard-hat with a group of men on a building site. He looked much younger than he did now, so it was probably taken soon after she had left and Daniel was beginning his building career. Whilst Daniel was building his business, she had been out partying every night and generally just getting into trouble. And as Emma continued to look at the photographs she began to realise that there were few photographs from the time she had known him and what there were didn't have any images of her. Toby was included in a number of pictures but it was as if her behaviour had lost her the right to be a part of Daniel's memories.
And as she continued to scan the photographs and build up a picture of a man she thought she knew she began to realise she didn't know him at all. Looking at the pictures of his life since she had left in disgrace and looking around his home she began to conclude that the man whose house she was in must be quite a remarkable guy. He was successful, he played hard, he was always doing considerate things for others and he was loyal to those who stood by him.
In reflecting on what kind of man he was, was there any wonder why he had difficulty showing any respect for her? And considering the woman he thought that she was it would take a very noble man indeed to allow her into his house when she was in need.
Her own introspection weighed heavily as she made a slow stroll back towards the kitchen with her head bowed in contemplation. Her mind was telling her that in many ways she was a lower person, had lost something in her humanity, and that she deserved to be treated in the way that Daniel treated her because of the way she had wasted opportunities and been inconsiderate of others. But she knew that that voice had been running around her head for some time and she had made quite an effort to silence it. She always felt she was dusting herself off and lifting her head high so that she could continue with life and put the bad things behind her.
Opening the door she walked round to the back of the house and into the garden as the first rays of light began hitting the dew covered lawn. Her breath was quite taken away as she studied the beautiful view from Daniel's house trying to identify some of the landmarks in the distance.
Though barefoot she walked across the lawn leaving her footprints in the dew before turning round and noticing the beautiful ivy covered two-storey building where she had spent the night. She made her way back to the wooden bench on the edge of the patio. Sitting down she felt the heaviness in her stomach moving towards her throat as moisture built up in her eyes while she watched Leila bouncing up and down the edge of the lawn chasing insects and generally having a great time.
She was still confused.
Daniel was being really helpful in wanting her to get new accommodation. He had stepped in to protect her when she wanted to step into a confrontational situation with the next-door neighbour. He had also shown how considerate he was by making sure the woman next door was in no danger. Why did he do this? Did he do these things because it is how he is? He didn't do them because he cared for her, did he?
And what he had done to her body was something that nobody else had been able to do in any of her previous relationships, which showed her she'd never had a partner considerate enough to think of her, someone who was willing to take the trouble to find out what her own feelings are. Why would Daniel care so much when others hadn't?
He had made her feel so vulnerable, emotional, yet he never used it to gloat at her or in an attempt to humiliate her even though he seemed able to bend her at will. Why was he so kind?
This was the start of the confusion. What really got her mind racing further was being packed off into the spare room. Earlier at her place he had wanted her, but once he had time to think about it he had pushed her away, why did he do that? She so desperately wanted him, but more than that she desperately wanted him to want her equally as much.
Daniel stood in the doorway, silently staring at her. Emma had her arms wrapped around her legs so that her chin was resting on her knees. She didn't see him and he knew that she was crying. He muttered something to himself about her being a spoilt brat.
He turned around and went back into the house marching towards the hallway. She would have nothing to worry about any more, he was finished with her. He didn't feel he was desperate enough to put the pressure on to her so that she would sleep with him.
He stopped in mid march and stood motionless as he debated in his own mind whether to go and tell her all of that. He then thought about going out there and showing her how he made her feel as if to prove a point. Then he wondered whether her tears had anything to do with him at all. Was it something else? Perhaps it was to do with where she had to live and the fact she was broke? He realised he was uncertain, but he was getting fed up of the uncertainties that she brought with her.
Emma gave a little jump as she felt something making contact with her shoulders as the deep voice from Daniel echoed above her head. Oh no, had he heard her?
"You'll get cold sitting here like this so early in the morning."
She used a hand to pull the blanket around her whilst using the other hand to wipe her cheek whilst she forced out a burst of laughter. "We Hartingtons are very warm blooded, but thanks for this, I hadn't noticed the goose bumps. I hope I didn't wake you or made you think you had intruders."
"I have been listening to Leila scratching my paintwork for a few hours."
"Get me a tin of paint and I'll brush up any marks."
"I have made the mistake of giving you a tin of paint before, we know what happens don't we?"
She gave out a genuine laugh this time. "This time I will behave, I promise."
She hadn't looked at him yet because she was scared that her tears had left marks on her face, but as he moved round to sit beside her she risked a glance in his direction. She saw the sharp feature of his jaw line as the breeze tossed about his thick uncombed hair. He gazed into the distant view and then turned his head towards her.
"I should have brought the tissues as well."
She felt a big inward groan. He had heard her! She felt humiliated and had no idea how she was going to explain herself.
"I'm fine. It's the early morning cold air making my eyes water."
"I know that's not true."
Daniel spoke that phrase in such a matter of fact way that Emma was left squirming inwardl
y whilst her mind attempted to create an excuse which would get her out of this predicament.
But he was already drawing in breath and preparing to speak. He wasn't sitting too closely, she couldn't feel his body heat and apart from putting the blanket on her shoulder he had made no attempt to touch her.
"I think you should tell me what is wrong."
"The truth?"
"The truth is best, and considering things between you and me I think we should only speak the truth."
She felt a hard lump appear in her throat and had to swallow it down to remove the sensation. "I agree with you about the truth. But I'm not sure I can talk to you right now, it's nothing that is your fault. I am okay."
There was a long period of silence. "Does it have anything to do with what happened last night?"
"We did an awful lot last night. Is there any particular part you mean?"
"We did do quite a lot." He laughed. "But I think you know which part it is I'm talking about."
Emma's heart sank once more, and she felt herself getting angry with herself as her eyes welled up again with moisture. She tried to take her mind off things by staring at the Hill in the distance. She was about to lie to him and she hated herself for doing that because she knew all that he wanted was honesty. But what else was she to do?
"No, it's got nothing to do with last night."
"Good. I'm pleased about that because I was pretty sure that you had enjoyed what we did."
She detected an undercurrent of sarcasm in his voice which caused her to lift her head. Oh my God she thought, he doesn't think...?
"How could you think any differently about really enjoying it? You were there. It's a good job the neighbours were arguing otherwise it may have been them phoning the police instead-"
Secret Affair With A Billionaire Page 11