Turbocharged

by Jessie Gussman

  “There were men upstairs who were doing things they shouldn’t have been, and the police are looking for them. We weren’t doing those things, so we’re getting out of the way.” His voice, coming out of the darkness, vibrated his chest.

  It ignited curls of heat in her stomach.

  “What things? Fighting?” Bobby could understand about getting out of the way—he’d had to do it enough at the garage when they’d moved trucks.

  “No. They were probably gambling or dealing, or using drugs, mostly.”

  Ha, how about fighting, Nate? This probably wasn’t the time to rib him on that front, but she desperately wanted to. It would take her mind off the hard body pressed into hers. His large hand made light circles on her back. And the warmth and heat of his skin caused the tingling of her own flesh.

  “Oh.” Bobby said, sounding older than his years. He’d grown up hearing the adults around him talk about drivers failing their mandatory drug test or needing to take one after an accident, and he could understand that drugs were bad.

  “Hold onto me, Bobby. I’m setting you down.” Nate kept a firm hand on the small of Kaitlyn’s back with one hand while he slid Bobby down his side. Then his other hand came up to wrap around her, too. His breath skimmed over her skin before his voice rumbled softly in her ear. “Are we still good?”

  She shivered, then her head tilted. “What do you mean?”

  “Us.” He paused to take several shaky breaths. “You and me. Did I just scare you or disgust you, or…”

  She reached up her hand and placed it over his mouth. Stopping his question. Aware of Bobby beside them and knowing that Nate had to be in a lot of pain—she could feel the swelling under her fingers—she lifted her head, meeting his lips, softly, gently with hers.

  His breath hitched. Then it expelled harshly. He pulled her even tighter to him, lifting her off her feet.

  A soft gasp of surprise escaped her lips.

  “Sorry.” He nuzzled her hair. “Too much unused adrenaline.”

  She laughed softly.

  “Or too much beautiful woman in my arms.”

  “Hey. How come you guys keep whispering?” Bobby whined.

  “Grown up stuff, Hon,” she whispered.

  “Were you kissing?” He made it sound as if kissing involved garbage or pig slop.

  “Would that be a problem for you, Bobby?” Nate asked. His hand slid up Kaitlyn’s back to rest under her hair at the nape of her neck.

  “Are you going to marry her?” Bobby asked suspiciously.

  “Yes, sir,” Nate said.

  “Well, it’s OK then, I guess. Although it’s kind of gross. You had blood all over you.” He paused slightly. “And Kaitlyn’s a girl.” As if girls were worse than pink teddy bears or school.

  “True.” Nate’s voice held a note of laughter. “Kaitlyn’s a brave girl.”

  “Maybe she’s just dumb.” Bobby’s shoe scraped against the floor as he shifted his position.

  “Hey,” Kaitlyn said in mock outrage.

  “Well, I like Nate, but I’m not kissing him while he’s dripping blood on me,” Bobby insisted.

  Kaitlyn gasped. Her hands flew to his face and hovered, afraid to touch and possibly hurt him. “You’re still bleeding?”

  “Something’s running down my cheek. Maybe the ceiling is leaking?”

  “This is no time to joke.” Kaitlyn carefully felt his face, around his chin, where blood was, indeed, dripping, and over his cheek where there was a huge gash. “Oh, wow. We need to get you to the hospital.”

  “No. I don’t go to the hospital.”

  “What?”

  “Don’t go.”

  “Nate, don’t be ridiculous. This needs stitches.”

  “Go ahead and stitch it, then,” he said reasonably.

  Kaitlyn refrained from stomping her foot. Barely. “You’re going to the hospital.” She spoke through gritted teeth.

  “No,” he said just as mildly as ever.

  “Nathan Gordon…what’s your middle name? Desperate times call for the use of all three names.”

  “It’s Paine.”

  “As in pain in my-butt?’” Kaitlyn couldn’t help asking. The stubborn man needed a doctor.

  “No, smarty.” He gave her a squeeze and brushed her forehead with his lips. “After Thomas Paine, founding father.”

  “Oh.” Kaitlyn was too embarrassed to admit that she had no idea who Thomas Paine was. Maybe Nate should teach Bobby history if they were homeschooling. A subject for another time. She focused on the present. “All right, Nathan Paine Gordon. You. Are going. To. The. Hospital.”

  “No.”

  “Offer him a deal, Kaitlyn,” Bobby piped up from beside them.

  Kaitlyn smiled, despite her frustration at Nate’s bull-headedness. “Like what?”

  “I don’t know. Ice cream? A four-wheeler ride? If he went to school, he could skip a day.”

  “Any of those sounding close?” she asked Nate.

  “Marry me.”

  “What?” Kaitlyn’s mouth hung wide open. “You’re kidding, right?”

  He shrugged and shifted his feet.

  “I’ll go to the hospital. Never been there, but I’ll go, if you want. Heck, I’ll go to the zoo, the moon, wherever you say. Just standing here thinking I ought to marry you. You’ve got way too much control over me. I should marry you and make it official.”

  “I suppose this is where I profess my undying love to you, too?” Kaitlyn couldn’t help the sarcasm in her voice.

  “Kaitlyn. You have to marry him.” Bobby, who had been uncommonly calm up to that point, started jumping up and down.

  “I’m sorry. That was badly done of me.” He sighed, as though disappointed. “We can talk about it later when my judgment isn’t affected by the blows to my head and your irresistible concern.”

  She heard the smile in his voice and laughed.

  “You two stay here while I check things out, see if it’s safe to scoot out.”

  “Are you sure you’re OK? You were a little wobbly on your feet; you had a couple of pretty hard blows to your head…” Kaitlyn started to screech, so she trailed off.

  “I’m fine, Kaitlyn.” His tone held infinite patience. He’d started to walk away, but his arm came back around her. His head bent down. “Love it that you care.”

  “Maybe,” she whispered, “maybe I’m just concerned about getting out of here.”

  “That could be true. In that case, I’m guessing I’m gonna get a no when I actually do get down on one knee.”

  “You’ve only known me four weeks.”

  “It’s enough.”

  “It can’t be.”

  “It’s OK. I’ll wait.” He moved away again. “But we need to get out of here first.”

  Kaitlyn’s ringtone, muted from being in her purse, cut through the darkness.

  Nate stopped and waited.

  She fumbled through her bag, glad her phone lit up when it rang. It was Karen’s cell number. Which was odd. Usually her dad called on his own phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Kaitlyn?” Karen’s voice sounded weak, half-whisper, half-hoarse.

  Immediately alarm bells started ringing in Kaitlyn’s head. “Karen, is everything OK?”

  “Your dad…” It sounded like she choked on a sob.

  Kaitlyn’s chest squeezed tight and she almost sobbed with her. “What about him? Karen?” For Bobby’s sake, she tried to keep the panic out of her voice, but her legs suddenly turned to rubber. Nate’s arm reached back around her. She leaned into his solid strength.

  “He…collapsed earlier. They took him away and no one will tell me what’s going on.”

  Of course not. Karen was barely alive if the sound of her voice was any indication. Kaitlyn buried her forehead in Nate’s shoulder. His shirt felt rough from the dried blood, but she welcomed the feeling on her face. The rest of her had gone numb.

  “I’m actually in Pittsburgh. We’ll be at the hospital as soon as
we can.”

  “Kaitlyn?”

  “Yeah?”

  Karen’s breath scratched on the phone. Finally, she said, “I’m dying.”

  22

  Kaitlyn looked at her cell phone’s clock: 3:00 AM. The IV attached to her dad’s arm dripped steadily, constant. The machines around the room blinked. She held his gnarled hand in both of her slender ones, absently noting the differences without really seeing them. His were old, dark, calloused, and vein-lined. Hers young, white and slim.

  The door creaked, and light from the hall spilled in onto the floor. A purple clad nurse with her hair in a messy bun hustled in. Her brows lifted, “Still asleep?”

  “Yeah.”

  “We’ve got a room almost ready for him. All his tests came back normal, but the doctor wants to keep him overnight, just for observation.” She strode purposefully over to the monitors.

  “His tests were normal?” Kaitlyn grabbed that bit of good news, wanting to expand it, blow it out way big and cover the rest of her life with it.

  “Yes.” The nurse checked the monitor and then wrote on her clipboard.

  Kaitlyn was surprised that everything wasn’t electronic, as big as the hospital was.

  “He’s thinking it’s just exhaustion. Apparently, your mom has been sick?”

  “Stepmom.” Kaitlyn corrected automatically. “Yes.” She shifted on her seat.

  After getting stitched up, Nate had taken Bobby with him back to Transmission to get Gary.

  “Well, it sure looked like a heart attack, but none of the tests show any signs. Sometimes stress can imitate a heart condition. And I’d say your dad is a prime candidate for that, with his wife being so sick.”

  “I see.”

  “Oh, Mr. Driver. You’re awake.”

  Dad blinked. “Is it necessary for you to wake a man up at, what time is it anyway?”

  “It’s 3:00 AM, Dad.” Relief made Kaitlyn smile fondly at her father. “Sorry we were being too loud.”

  “Can you rate your pain on a scale of one to ten?”

  “What pain?” Eldridge looked confused. “Am I supposed to be having pain?”

  “So that’s a one,” the nurse said smiling. “How are you feeling?”

  “Tired.”

  “Can I get you anything?”

  “A quiet room,” Eldridge grumbled.

  “Dad. She’s only trying to help. You scared us all.” Kaitlyn patted his hand.

  He squeezed back. Despite his gruff words, she figured that meant something.

  “I’m fine. Just tired.” He looked at the nurse. “You can go.”

  “OK. You push your call button if you need anything.” Scribbling on her clipboard, the nurse bustled out. The room dimmed as she closed the door.

  Kaitlyn and her dad sat quietly. She figured he’d drift back to sleep. Maybe she’d text Nate as soon as he started snoring.

  “How’s the company going, kiddo?”

  Kaitlyn jerked out of her reverie. “Fine.”

  “Keeping the drivers happy?” His bright blue eyes, shadowed by his unibrow, bore into hers.

  “Yep.” Why wasn’t he asking about his kids? How they were doing? He was a man, of course, but it always seemed that his company came first, that she was only as valuable as her contribution to the trucking world that he lived and breathed. She’d been jealous of Bobby and Gary because they were boys, but sitting here now, she realized that it didn’t have anything to do with gender. He hadn’t asked about them anymore than he’d cared about her.

  “Keeping the wheels turning?”

  “Uh huh.”

  “Staying up on the repairs?” He looked out the window as if he’d rather be outside, or maybe he just couldn’t meet her eyes anymore.

  “Yes, Dad.”

  “Bills paid?”

  “Yeah.” She didn’t mention raiding her own savings to keep payroll solvent. It’d been her fault anyway, since she’d not been able to get the billing done with having the boys, and repairs, and traveling to Pittsburgh.

  “And Eve’s brother’s been helping you?”

  “His name is Nate. And, yes, I couldn’t have done it without him. He has Bobby and Gary right now.” She couldn’t keep her mouth shut about the boys any longer. How could he grill her about his company and not care about his kids? And how could she have ever thought that she could be good enough to please him?

  “Ah.” Her dad nodded. “Well, I’m fine. No point in you staying here. Might as well go home and relieve him.”

  Kaitlyn sat with her eyes down, staring at her hand joined with her dad’s. Seriously? That was it? No ‘thanks for your hard work?’ or ‘awfully nice of him to help us out’ or anything?

  “OK, Dad.” She stood up. “Take care of yourself. You know my number.”

  “All right, kiddo.”

  She bent down to kiss him on the forehead and walked out. Her heels clicked and echoed in the dim hall. The nurses spoke low, nodding at her as she passed the nursing station. Pushing the elevator button, she blew out a breath and ran her hand over her hair, which was falling every which way. But she barely noticed. Was she like that? Was she more concerned about her pulling truck and being better than Kyle and all her other goals and plans than she was about the people in her life? How often had she played with Bobby before all this happened? Or taken the time to teach him anything?

  The bell chimed, and she stepped through the open doors. Her back ached and her feet, unused to anything but her comfortable work boots, burned with fatigue. Her mind, however, boiled with questions, which had been set off by her dad’s seeming indifference to the boys that Kaitlyn loved. Of course, she’d already loved them because they were her brothers, but she had begun to love them as individuals. Her brothers.

  A shaft of guilt hit her. Did it take a tragedy for her to learn to care? Maybe her resentment of her brothers had to do with their being boys. But how much of that was in her head? Had she imagined her father cared more for Kyle…for boys?

  She stepped off the elevator, no closer to feeling any better, and texted Nate that she was coming home. As she slipped into her Jeep, his text came back saying he’d put the boys to bed and would stay until she got there.

  Be careful.

  On the drive home she tried to figure out how much of her perceptions were based in reality and how much were based on what she’d thought she knew. It was hard to shake that her dad didn’t care any more about his boys than he did about her. The concept was totally new and hard to believe. Was her dad just being tough the way she acted tough? As a cover? To protect those soft, girly feelings that might bring her ridicule or make her look weak? Was her dad unable to express those feelings? Or, like her, was he afraid to, thinking that to bury them made him strong? She wanted to be angry about that, but that wasn’t right either. She couldn’t change her dad. Her job was to love him just the way he was. Even though she’d spent the last eight years of her life trying to earn his love, what she really wanted was to be loved for herself.

  The way Nate loved her.

  She snorted at that thought. Nate had said nothing about loving her. But…at least the way he treated her was a far cry from all the other men she’d been with. Searching for someone to love her, thinking that the physical side of love was all there was, or that it would turn into something. And the harder she chased that elusive something, the emptier she felt. She was so ashamed of the way she’d given herself to any man who showed an interest, until the act itself had become meaningless. None of those men had ever cherished her or cared about her in any way. And now, the man she wanted more than anything, who seemed to want her, too, who had actually asked her to marry him, that man was as pure and untouched as she could never hope to be again.

  And he was worried about what she thought of his fighting? After everything he’d done for her? For her brothers?

  She fought to keep herself awake, so she stopped at a gas station for a cup of coffee, still unable to make sense of her jumbled emotions. It
was almost 5:00 AM when she pulled into her driveway. A dim light shone from the window of their living room. Kaitlyn assumed that Nate would be on the couch again, so she was surprised when the living room was empty.

  Her body drooped with weariness, but the coffee had her eyes popped wide open. After looking around once more for Nate, she headed up the stairs.

  Gary slept peacefully in his crib, but Bobby was not in his bed.

  Her eyes adjusted enough to see the dim light coming from under her bedroom door. Pushing carefully, she opened it and walked in. Bobby snuggled under her covers, balled up beside Nate, whose arm was around him. Nate slept, fully dressed except for his boots, on top of her comforter.

  She smiled at the cozy picture. Nate had changed his clothes somehow because the ones he wore were not bloodstained. They’d washed his face off in the emergency room, and his stitches were uncovered—a dark line on the edge of his cheek. Both eyes were blackened, the other cheek was split open and had a butterfly bandage covering it—the ER doctor had said no stitches needed—and it was swollen along with a large knot on his forehead.

  Kaitlyn’s stomach twisted. Nate looked awful, plain and simple. Although she couldn’t say she liked the fighting and really didn’t want to watch it ever again, she couldn’t understand why it would be such an apparent big deal to him.

  “Hey,” Nate said, startling Kaitlyn.

  “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.” She moved to stand beside the bed.

  He started to move his arm from around Bobby, but Bobby cried out in his sleep and clutched at Nate.

  “Stay,” Kaitlyn whispered.

  Nate indicated the easy chair with his eyebrows lifted in question.

  A small thrill rocketed through her. She smiled, kicked off her heels with a sigh, and snuggled into the chair. He held out his hand. She rested their entwined fingers on the cushy armrest and inhaled his spicy scent.

  “You shocked me tonight,” she whispered.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No, I mean, in a good way.” She clenched his fingers. “Why do you dress the way you do? You must know it gives the impression of a business man, or even a preacher. I wasn’t expecting you to be so,” Kaitlyn searched for the right word, “violent. Strong. Good at fighting. I mean, I’m not an expert, but I’d say you’re pretty good.”