The Collected Poems of Ted Berrigan
Page 27
It Damn Well Will Do.
Autumn
Autumn is fun
for these kids
who love me
But comes a Voyeur
W/his champagne
to this tub
It shrinks
disappears.
The pills aren’t working.
London
Messy red heart
put on black shirt
tight brown cords & slush-proof boots
stand up & look at it
Senior Service, pretty expensive
Not for me, tho, I’m an American
“There are no second acts in American life.”
cf. F. Scott Fitzgerald
& money is just a way for people to talk, anyway
For example Jim Dine talking, to me
That’s one I just finished. It’s a list
of names of everyone in my life
the past ten years. What a great idea,
I think. It’s so simple. You just get an idea
& then you do it. Anxiety thickens the plot.
London Air
TO BOB CREELEY
1.
My heart Your heart
That’s the American Way
& so,
FUCK OR WAIK!
It’s the American Way
Messy Red Heart (American)
Put on
black shirt, tight
brown cords & bright
blue socks
Under slush-proof boots!
Is that cow-hide?
I don’t know Yes it is that
It is That.
Take a good look, that is I
mean
have a good look
LIGHT UP (a Senior Service)
&
turning around
The turning point is turning around.
Now, that may seem wasteful to you
but not to me being American
That’s the American bent
(sprinting with a limp)
It beginning having reached part 3.
Part 3.
Into the Second Act in American Life:
cf. F. Scott Fitzgerald
“There are no
I go in & Second Acts in
sit down American Life.”
at this desk
and write
dog sees GOD
in the mirror
c/o Jim Dine
60 Chester Square
London SW One
It’s 5 units sunlight, 5 units
Cincinnati
One plus Zero
equals One
That’s it you
Now you’re talking!
& so, let me read to you this list
of the ten greatest books of all time:
Here they are
THE TEN GREATEST BOOKS OF ALL TIME
1. Now in June by Lao-Tree
2. Sore Foot by Larry Fagin
3. Sleep & Dreams by Gay Luce & Julius Segal
4. Rape by Marcus van Heller
5. Out of The Dead City by Chip Delaney
6. Moth by James M. Cain
7. Letters for Origin (Proofs) by Charles Olson
8. Classics Revisited by Kenneth Rexroth
9. Pleasures of a Chinese Courtesan by Jonathan Payne
10. Letters to Georgian Friends by Boris Pasternak
10. Horse Under Water by Len Deighton
10. Camp Concentration by Tom Disch
&
breathing easier now
10. The Quotations of Chairman Mao.
In Bed with Joan & Alex
In the morning
Very bright the
not yellow
light
tough creamy air
it softens lightly
when you give
THE LOOK OF LOVE
having a good look
knowing / green
interesting manners
with
blackjack nuances.
Can you dig it (doing that) in the Michigan morning?
light
taking your glasses off
(clothes already off)
yellow pants
I should say gold
but gold isn’t really yellow
is it?
so I don’t
Joan Fagin’s brown shirt’s resting now
on the chair
brown
transparent, blue
buttons . . .
Some pop off
so do we all some time.
Joan, with you,
“I do.”
&
Loving you
doesn’t really have to “do”
anything
but I do.
& doing ( . . . “anything” . . . ) turns you on, too.
doing a few
swirls
&
spinning
moving easily
& so firm
A just plain terrific face
two eyes opening wide
with delight
that’s “doing it all” for me.
It’s a little scary it, & you, too
white & not so
blue
now a slow pink flush
across the white rhythm
& the blue . . .
Coming together
or maybe not coming at all
or coming
at leisure
“Digging one’s own natural
savagery”
as the man says
is all there is
to do.
To eat ourselves
alive
& dig it.
& having looked into “that”, having had “it”
still having it
Now,
to look at it,
looking at it whenever
The right light appears
which is practically
anytime & especially,
“In the morning.”
2.
Looking at a cottage in the country,
Maine,
My main man’s desire shines through
“that’s tough!” you might say
but it’s civilized.
It’s terse, but fluid. (It’s
a hard-nosed kike rap).
Round & round & round we go
There are trees, around
& green grass around
to stretch out
lay around
on.
Above blue sky
as clean as paint is
clear (thick & creamy
light.)
Now, that’s what I call Radiance.
All of it,
& you, really here
plus, friendly
shadows
talk
“do anything you want to.”
& so we did, all of it.
See that?
I’d like you to look at
& see it.
It’s beautiful! moving beautifully
in the morning
&
you can turn it on you’re here
anytime & it’s here
CODA: (to Alex Katz)
Being civilized about such things
is a great pleasure!
Wasn’t it, Alex?
It’s just like Real Life
(after the movies.)
You put it together
with your knife
punching it
into the sun
shining
Out of sight!
3.
Now, resting on the President’s chair, the center
head inside its hair, on the grass, the white
house right over there
a Chesterfield King
& there’s a light!
Clean White Smoke Wind Clear Air
me up here & you,
you up across & over there.
Be
tween us, The United States
of Air
& Joan
still flying,
on this plane:
It’s taking Joan everywhere
she feels like going
& so she does
& so do we all
& so we do,
thanks to you,
light radiance air
Alex, Joan, my friends,
you were there.
Ode to Medicine
AFTER LEWIS WARSH
Going up, slowly, I, slowly
Flashing insane (exciting) changes across each lady eye
Begin to soar. First the quiet
(trees) as Lewis and I lope none-too-gently by
Rush of light hitting walk, my
Tonight. The Pep Rally inflames the green sky
Feet crushing light, my walk lighting up
Forget them. They (I) shall return. It’s cool
October’s thickness (night). It needs girls
As well as well. I love these girls, & so
To cut through the dense talk growing light
I’m arriving soon. I am, & they laugh wisely
Along the diagonal: our sleep is but a birth
& a remembering, so forget all that came before.
There are girls laughing because they thought
Talk to him, he’s high in New York somewhere
Sometimes, when I think about where I am
Medicine gets me high. I
Do a few spins & laugh it off. Cough
Sweet Vocations
After the first death there is plenty
Of Other but it’s true
There is no other, too. One staggers
Weakly between the two. What fun is that?
It’s no fun, that’s what. After the first
Sniff, you notice the typewriter’s been sharpened; you
Did it, so;
a, s, d, f, space . . . semi, l, k, j, space
Is it up & happy, this trip, like Merriweather Lewis
Whose California rides above the blue? or
Is it a down trip (John Keats)? I do love you:
“Down for you is up” when your head gets turned around
You look out the mirror at the self, & you preen,
You giggle because that it’s so unlike you.
Here I Live
So sleeping & waking
every day
up
I live here I,
the great
mumbling
one
two three four
Laid out, voices living & dead
hovering
between
heart &
comfort.
up
now
taking chances
with silence. More & more
waiting
for day . . . light
over the house.
He is counting: one two
three four
When we rise
the jungle
Moves What that means
grenades come closer white
lightning
clears the range
in the morning
paper hangs on nothing
Nerve
That makes some human cry
float
like sunlight
But every night I sleep
going
to dawn like light.
Here I live my heart
my family
assemble.
Three counts.
Sun
clear
Time
my war
God
did it start.
One Two Three Four.
One
Two
Three
&
Sleep.
To Anne
I love you much
as one can
love anybody
baby,
but
riding high a man is
tough as it comes,
It’s not brutal.
It’s a song.
For Love.
Of You.
Going to Chicago
FOR DON HALL
Leaving first
On my way,
“Ave Atque Valium”
20 mgs.
& coffee
Thanks to the Air Hostess
dark eyes dark hair
red lips
full
Red Nose in the air
A passing thought to John Sinclair
à la bas
Right On, John
We see you down there
from here
up in the air
it’s the same air
as one breathes in
&
one breathes out . . .
“Down to you is Up”
. . . in between
here and there
&
here.
2.
The Prison Poems of Ho Chi Minh
Lunch Poems / In Memory Of My Feelings
Meditations in An Emergency
Advertisements For Myself
The Sweet Science
The Press
An American Dream
Mollie &
Other War Stories
Joe Liebling, Frank & Norman
ride with us
here.
3.
Change is in my pocket:
A John Kennedy American
half-dollar:
heads: Philip Whalen
tails: John Ashbery
(that’s an old-master story)
flip it
it’s in the air
The game is underway:
“Winning is my philosophy”
“Preparedness is the
only means toward Victory”
“Not Somehow
but
Triumphantly”
(that’s the motto of The Salvation Army)
“There’s a new day coming”
& if it’s a nice day, we win
& if it’s a stormy day,
can you dig it?
flying, under the weather
dig it
Fly Over
Fly Straight through
Fly big Baby, Fly!!
To The 2nd City.
Bye-bye.
How We Live in the Jungle
I am asleep
next to The Hulk
warm behind,
inside,
all around me
Oranges,
soft purples,
greens, blue
Underneath & above
wooden planks
furniture,
Sky,
big sky,
all around the tree.
It’s a house-tree.
You feel at home here
in the nut-bush.
First asleep
next going into heat
a stinging shower
& then,
cooled, with a buzz on.
The Hulk is breathing easily now
as her graceful form
moves purposefully into everyday life.
The Hulk
often sleeps
while I’m awake
& vice-versa
& vice-versa.
No matter.
We live together in the jungle.
April in the Morning, with Anne
Rain falling through the blue
across the street
near to me, & close to you; &
that’s where I’ll be today
walking St. Mark’s Place toward Grand Central
that place
the only place we ever get together, me & you
Soot-
covered parti-colored trains come & go
out & in, the heart leaps
to its daily declarations
of love & death (poetry), beating<
br />
the ordinary day’s traffic to somewhere,
beating
my heart’s morning yearning for nowhere,
with windows,
upon which the early morning rain,
joining in
joins you to me, simply flowing,
now singing, now
saying, “hello!”, now hoping
this trip prove true
&
now, in clean air, cleanly breathing, sounds
Train Ride
Somebody knows everything so
It doesn’t make any difference,
what you do
So, do anything you want,
it’s all right
You can do it. Just do it,
right?
Biddy Basketball
The guards tense, the centers jump
The fur flies! A Jickey laughs
It’s sloppy going, tho, Careless Love
So to speak: can’t see it; can’t believe it
Can’t read it even: not together
A bit busy: bemused by the weather
How it simply takes place, & had character
A clear & an open face, clearly true
To conditions as they do exist; & so
Now a day is unpleasant because no fun
Tho it does keep going on: that’s how it goes
It’s draggy, it’s torture, it’s tedious
Right from the very beginning, it loses you
And as we discover later reading The Daily News
When it’s all over, “Both Sides Lose.”
The Simple Pleasures of Buffalo
It’s impossible to take a bath in this house
because I am the house-guest & the bath-room
is of the house. It’s difficult not to lie, constantly
on the beds. It is not difficult to read, “The Groupie”
“Thongs”, “Ball Four”, “The Jocks”, & “Teen-Age Sex.”
It’s quite difficult to jack off: God knows why. But,
It is possible to fuck a lot; lying, sitting, kneeling, standing
or simply thrashing about the beds. If you don’t believe me,
just ask ______. To continue: in this house
it’s a simple matter to swallow the cough syrup (codeine): to swallow
the capsules (pills) or even the spansules is even simpler:
It is not quite so simple to stick the needle into the vein.
This requires a certain amount of practice; and Witch Hazel
Can be helpful, to cover the tracks & in healing the sore arms.
Perhaps the simplest, most rewarding element this
quietly insane house affords you is time, time to be reading
for example, on your own, this terrific book,
“The Good Spirit,” poems by Citizen Andrei Codrescu.
Black & White Magic