Once in a Lifetime

by Chrissie Manby

  ‘Post it!’ Dani giggled.

  The next day, Dani would wish they hadn’t posted that photograph. You always think you look better than you really do when drunk.

  That afternoon, however, she was only too pleased to pose with Will and Jezza and Princess in the garden of The Pirate Ship. Lola had Paris. Nat had Lola. Dani had … well, at the very least she had a great big new crush.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  A big new crush and a horrible hangover …

  Dani slept through her alarm the following morning. She was woken by the sound of Jezza objecting loudly to the fact that a neighbour’s cat was in the garden, while Jane tried to persuade him, equally loudly but ineffectively, to calm down.

  ‘Jeremy!’ He was always Jeremy when he was in trouble. ‘Jeremy, will you please be quiet!’

  The more Jane shouted, the more Jezza barked. Dani took it as a message that it was time to get up.

  ‘Are you OK?’ Jane asked her daughter, when Dani staggered into the kitchen.

  ‘I think I’ve got a bug,’ said Dani.

  ‘Or delirium tremens,’ Jane said. ‘What were you up to yesterday afternoon? You came in and went straight to bed. Reminded me of when you used to go out with your friends from school and try to get into the house without your father or me noticing you’d been drinking.’

  ‘I just went for a drink with some of the puppy-training people.’

  ‘Dogs really do seem to improve people’s social lives,’ said Jane.

  ‘Something like that,’ said Dani.

  At last Jezza had stopped barking, satisfied that he’d seen the cat off, even though in reality the cat had taken its own sweet time to get through the garden and couldn’t have given a rat’s arse whether or not Jezza had anything to say about it.

  Full of pride at having defended the household so vociferously, Jezza swaggered back into the kitchen and gave Dani the full morning greeting.

  ‘Ugh, Jezza. No tongues!’

  ‘How’s he doing with his training?’ Jane asked.

  ‘He’s an A student,’ Dani responded. ‘If A stands for absolutely unbiddable when the teacher’s watching. Sit!’ She attempted a command.

  Jezza lay down and rolled over.

  ‘See?’

  ‘I’ll take him out this afternoon,’ said Jane. ‘I could do with some fresh air. You look like you could do with some fresh air too.’

  ‘I’ll get some on the way to the hotel. Right now, what I need is coffee.’

  Unfortunately, Dani couldn’t get out of going to work. In her twenty-two years at The Majestic (on and off) she was proud to be able to say that she had never called in sick when she really had a hangover. The Majestic kitchen team were exactly that – a team. ‘All for one and one for all,’ as Dave the chef liked to say. Anyone who didn’t understand that wouldn’t last long on Dave’s watch.

  All the same, when Dani got into the kitchen, she wanted to walk straight out again. The smell of the food being prepared for lunch was more than she could bear.

  ‘I’m not well,’ she moaned.

  Dave was unsympathetic.

  ‘How many bottles?’

  Four bottles shared over the course of a whole afternoon seemed pretty reasonable to him.

  ‘You’ve got to be professional,’ he said. ‘Or build your tolerance before you go out on a binge,’ he added.

  ‘Thanks, Dave,’ said Dani. ‘I’ll bear that in mind.’

  Dani worked quietly in her corner of the kitchen and after a couple of strong espressos and a bacon sandwich, she started to feel a little better. If only a little.

  She wondered how Will felt this morning. And whether she would ever see him again. Dani didn’t think she had spent a whole afternoon drinking since Fresher’s Week at university. Maybe Will made a habit of it. She’d probably never find out. He hadn’t asked for her number and she hadn’t asked for his. She knew he was on Instagram and could probably work out who he was if she looked up Lola’s profile and went through her followers but … that was stalking, wasn’t it?

  ‘There’s someone in the dining room wants to see the chef,’ said Harrison, one of the waiting staff.

  ‘I can’t go out there,’ Dave said, indicating the front of his apron, which was covered in something that looked like blood. Possibly was blood. ‘Dani, you’ll have to go.’

  ‘I’ve got a hangover,’ she tried.

  ‘I’m pulling rank.’

  So it was Dani who had to go out into the dining room, feeling and looking like death warmed up. She sincerely hoped that whoever it was that wanted to talk to the chef wasn’t about to complain.

  ‘By the middle window,’ Harrison guided her.

  A horribly familiar couple sat at the best table in the restaurant.

  Dani’s heart sank.

  ‘We’re here celebrating our daughter’s engagement,’ said Ian, Lola’s father, when Dani got to them.

  ‘What lovely news,’ said Dani as though she hadn’t already heard.

  ‘She’s got herself a very nice young man. Well, you’ve met him, of course. He’s not that young but these days people take a while to grow into their responsibilities, don’t they?’

  ‘I suppose so,’ said Dani.

  ‘Anyway maybe we’ll be back here for the wedding. We were very impressed by what your team did for Lola’s birthday. It’s still the best place in Newbay to have a wedding reception, this is, isn’t it, Sheena?’

  Lola’s mother agreed.

  ‘Though, of course, it’s what Lola wants, dear,’ she said. ‘She might want to get married abroad.’

  ‘She’s not getting married abroad,’ said Ian. ‘Why would she want to get married abroad? She’ll have a proper wedding reception here. If I’m paying for it …’ He turned back to Dani. ‘We wanted to know how much it would cost.’

  ‘That’s not really my area,’ said Dani. ‘But if you like, I could take your details and pass them on to Cheryl the events manager. She’ll be in tomorrow.’

  ‘Yes, please,’ said Ian, handing Dani his card.

  Ian Taylor. Waste disposal was his game. Well, there was obviously brass where the muck he dealt with was concerned.

  ‘Maybe they should have their engagement party here first,’ said Ian. ‘To see if you and your team can handle things to my expectations.’

  ‘I’m sure we could arrange that,’ said Dani. ‘Cheryl will be able to tell you everything The Majestic has to offer.’

  ‘Yes,’ Ian nodded. ‘I think this is the perfect place for the reception, Sheena. Only the best for our girl. I just hope her new fiancé is up to scratch. You’ve got to wonder what took him so long to get round to settling down.’

  ‘He just hadn’t met our Lola,’ Sheena suggested.

  ‘There is that …’

  Ian and Sheena seemed to be seguing into a conversation to which Dani really didn’t think she should be contributing.

  ‘I should leave you,’ she said. ‘Service isn’t quite finished for me. But congratulations. On your daughter’s engagement, I mean. You must be very happy.’

  ‘I’m the happiest man alive,’ said Ian. ‘I can’t wait to walk my girl down the aisle.’

  For all sorts of reasons, Dani couldn’t wait for her shift to be over that day. When it was time for her break, she sat outside by the wheelie bins feeling thoroughly sorry for herself. Lola’s father was clearly a man who liked to get his way and Dani wouldn’t have wanted to be Lola, battling to get what she wanted in a wedding, but Ian’s obvious pride in his daughter was touching. He couldn’t wait to walk her down the aisle.

  It was one of Dani’s greatest regrets that her father had not been able to do the same for her. She felt her throat constrict at the thought of it. Oh, it was a silly thing. A tradition that should probably have long since been consigned to the annals of history. Women didn’t need to be ‘given away’ as though they belonged to their fathers and then to their husbands. But Dani sometimes wondered whether she had ever giv
en her father a chance to be obviously proud of her. Regret made her heart sore. Even if she did manage to find a man worth marrying, the idea that he might be someone her father had never met just made her sad.

  ‘Pull yourself together,’ Dani muttered to herself. She knew that her hangover was not helping her to see things optimistically. She’d never wanted to be married. Definitely not to Flossie’s father. She had no doubt that relationship would not have lasted, and then what? How proud would Dani’s dad have been to see her go through a divorce?

  As for Nat? Well, prior to Lloyd, Nat was the last man she’d seen with any serious intent. They’d shared losing their virginity together. But if Dani hadn’t got pregnant by Lloyd, there would have been others, she was sure.

  Given their history, it was certainly strange to have watched Nat get engaged in real time thanks to the power of the Internet. But if anyone had asked Dani what she thought had become of Nat, before he came back to Newbay, she would have assumed that he was already married with a couple of kids. Why wouldn’t he be? By forty, most people were. Until she saw Nat standing in the restaurant in The Majestic, the shape she imagined his life must have taken would not have bothered her at all. Would it?

  ‘Hair of the dog?’ Dave suggested, when he joined Dani by the bins.

  ‘Seriously?’ They were still on duty. Of course, they weren’t meant to be drinking but … Dani accepted a swig from Dave’s hip flask.

  ‘Feel better?’ he asked.

  Dani spluttered. ‘Blimey! What is this? No.’

  ‘My own special recipe,’ he said. ‘I’ve set up a still in my shed. I’m not sure if it’s legal.’

  ‘It shouldn’t be,’ Dani said. ‘Let me have a bit more.’

  Chapter Thirty

  As she’d told Dani she would, that afternoon Jane took Jezza for a walk. Sarah, who was eager to ramp up the number of steps she had taken that week, joined them. A step counter was another of the apps she’d had loaded onto her phone. She was obsessed with her numbers.

  ‘Got to keep young and beautiful if you want to be loved,’ she suggested to Jane, appearing in the kitchen dressed in walking shorts and carrying Alpine poles.

  ‘We’re only going to the beach.’

  Sarah discarded the poles.

  The two women took a similar walk to the one Dani had taken with Jezza on the day that he ate Lola’s engagement ring. The sun was shining and the road to the beach was busy with tourists and locals all hoping to find their private patch of Devon sand. Looking like a walking pompom, thanks to his poodle genes, Jezza attracted plenty of attention that Sarah was only too happy to lap up.

  ‘Having a dog is a great way to meet people,’ she observed.

  ‘Had any more dates off that Cinder thing?’ Jane asked.

  ‘Tinder? Yes. I mean, I’ve had offers but I’m not sure it’s really working for me any more.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  Jane knew that the retired dentist from Paignton had turned out to be another disappointment. His teeth were great but he suffered from uncontrollable flatulence and Sarah had spent most of their date pressing her handkerchief to her nose like a Victorian heroine in need of smelling salts.

  Now she told Jane, ‘It’s just that the men whose profiles I keep seeing leave more than a little to be desired. Either they are lifelong bachelors, who are flat-out strange. Or they are divorcees, who are secretly out for revenge. Or they are widowers desperately looking for someone to wash their socks. And they are all usually looking for someone much younger anyway.’

  ‘I didn’t want to say but I thought that might be the case.’

  ‘I didn’t believe all the horror stories in my magazines, of fifty-something women who had to content themselves with fishing in a pond of seventy-something men because the fifty-something men all want to be with women in their thirties. Turns out its true. Meanwhile the sixty-something men won’t look at any woman over forty. And the “seventy-something” men are lying about their ages, posting photographs that are decades old to hide the fact they’re really in their eighties! The way it seems to me is that women like me should be setting our sights on the ninety-year-olds and considering ourselves lucky if they aren’t actually reanimated corpses.’

  Jane laughed.

  ‘It’s not funny. Those men who do bother to get in touch are on-line for one thing only. I mean, it’s not as though I’m really on there for anything different but one would least appreciate a romantic preamble before receiving a wrinkly old dick pic.’

  ‘A what?’

  ‘You heard me,’ said Sarah. ‘I’ve had three so far today.’

  ‘Taken this morning?’

  ‘I hope not. It’s Sunday.’ Sarah cackled. ‘Oh, will I ever meet a nice man again? Perhaps I should be more like you.’

  ‘Give up, you mean?’

  ‘Be content with my memories,’ said Sarah. She sighed.

  ‘I think I’ve got different kinds of memories,’ Jane said kindly. ‘Shall we get an ice cream?’ she suggested. ‘Ice cream never lets you down.’

  They stopped by the famous ice-cream stall and Jezza had another carton of dog-friendly vanilla. He was starting to get quite a taste for it and it was fun to watch him dive in and get it all over his whiskers before chasing the empty carton around the legs of the picnic table in search of one last drop.

  The ice-cream stall was doing a roaring trade that afternoon as Newbay’s walkers, their children and their dogs all tucked in. Jane had a strawberry swirl. Sarah chose dark chocolate.

  ‘Not for you,’ she told Jezza.

  But Jezza had other things on his mind in any case. While the women ate their ice creams, he was distracted by a beautiful slate-blue greyhound, which was pulling a small boy in his direction. The boy, who couldn’t have been much older than seven, might as well have been trying to control a shire horse.

  ‘Sapphire!’ he exclaimed. ‘Stop pulling!’

  Fortunately, Sapphire stopped to investigate Jezza, giving the boy time to catch up.

  ‘Granddad!’ he shouted, while he had the chance. ‘Help me.’

  Then suddenly there was Mr Hunter.

  ‘Hold on, Seb,’ he said. ‘I’m coming.’

  Mr Hunter took hold of the greyhound’s lead.

  ‘She’s still a bit too strong for you,’ he told Seb. Then he noticed Jezza. And Jane.

  ‘Well, hello,’ said Mr Hunter.

  ‘Well, hello,’ said Sarah in an embarrassingly saucy way. She sucked the end of her spoon.

  Jane blushed and swallowed the last of her ice cream a little too quickly. It made her cough. Sarah gave her a whack on the back that only made her splutter.

  ‘Sorry,’ said Mr Hunter. ‘Didn’t mean to surprise you.’

  Jane recovered herself. ‘Oh no. I’m fine. It’s … isn’t it a lovely day?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Mr Hunter. ‘I’m looking after my grandson Seb. I promised I’d take him rock-pooling.’

  ‘After we’ve had an ice cream,’ Seb reminded him.

  ‘After we’ve had an ice cream,’ Mr Hunter agreed. ‘So this is the famous dog who ate a diamond?’

  ‘It is indeed. Jezza is his name. And I shall be keeping him on a lead while we’re on the beach today. Don’t want any more mishaps.’

  ‘Quite right too. You know I felt awful just putting you on the bus the other day. I should have insisted on dropping it off that evening. I hope you didn’t really have far to go at the other end.’ He explained to Sarah. ‘Mrs Parker came into my shop – Newbay Pets – and bought a great big bag of kibble only to reveal that she didn’t have a car to take it home in.’

  ‘Mr Hunter kindly walked me to the bus stop.’

  ‘Bill,’ he said.

  ‘Sorry,’ said Jane. ‘Did I forget to pay?’

  ‘No,’ said Bill Hunter. ‘That’s my name. Bill. Short for William. All this surname stuff makes it sound like we’re in a Jane Austen novel.’

  ‘That’s not a bad thing,’ said Sar
ah.

  ‘Granddad,’ Seb piped up. ‘The queue’s gone down.’

  Bill looked up. ‘So it has. We’d better get over there before they run out of mint choc chip.’

  ‘You better had,’ said Jane.

  ‘I’ll see you soon, I hope. Lovely to meet you …’

  ‘Sarah,’ she said with a coquettish smile.

  He shook Sarah’s hand.

  ‘Until next time, Mrs Parker.’

  ‘Jane,’ she said. And blushed. Crimson.

  ‘Who was that?’ Sarah asked, making it sound as though they’d just had a chat with a film star. Her tone was horribly lascivious. Jane half expected her to say ‘hubba hubba’.

  ‘He’s the man from the pet shop.’

  ‘Why haven’t you told me about him?’

  ‘Why would I? I just went in to buy some kibble.’

  ‘And he carried it to the bus stop for you?’

  ‘I expect he does that for everybody.’

  ‘Everybody? My arse,’ said Sarah. ‘You had a flirtation with the man in the pet shop and you didn’t even tell me. I thought we told each other everything.’

  ‘No,’ said Jane. ‘You tell me everything and luckily, you’re always talking so you don’t notice when I don’t tell you anything in return.’

  Sarah took Jane’s observation for the tease it was meant to be.

  ‘Well, no wonder you kept quiet about him.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Jane! He’s really rather lovely. And he clearly fancies you.’

  ‘He does not.’

  ‘Oh come on. If you decide you’re not interested, then please do let me know. I might be suddenly interested in buying a hamster!’

  The shriek of laughter Sarah made attracted Bill’s attention. He turned from the ice-cream counter to see what was so funny. Jane gave him a self-conscious wave before she pulled Sarah away by the arm.

  ‘Come on, you. Let’s get some more steps on your app.’

  The two women walked the length of the beach, making slow progress as Jezza stopped to investigate everything. The beach was full of fantastic smells. Most of them slightly off. Jezza was especially keen on rotten seaweed. The more unspeakable something smelled, the more he wanted to roll in it.