Once in a Lifetime
Page 26
After a while, Dani got up and went to the window. The wedding suite at The Sgian-Dubh had a view of the wheelie bins and, that night, of Nat’s car. Looking down, Dani could see that Nat was also still awake. Probably too uncomfortable to sleep. The light of his smartphone illuminated the windscreen. She could see a slice of Nat’s face, lit from below. He looked even more tired in the unflattering blue light and Dani felt another rush of guilt for putting him through all this fuss. No matter how much he had insisted that he would be perfectly fine for one night, Dani found it hard to believe. He was too tall to sleep in a car. And he was sharing with Princess and Jezza. As Dani watched, Jezza was trying to get onto Nat’s lap. Nat moved so that Jezza could cuddle up more easily. He lazily stroked the dog’s fur while continuing to look at his phone.
Dani wondered what he was reading. News? Facebook? Emails? He started typing. Texting Lola, probably. What was he going to tell her about this weekend’s adventure? Would he tell her at all? She didn’t actually need to know, away as she was on her Balearic hen do. What would she think if she found out? Would she be jealous? Thinking back to the double date from hell, Lola hadn’t seemed to think that Dani was any kind of threat. Not any kind of competition. At least not for Nat.
And yet … There was a moment when Nat had folded his arms around her outside the Old Blacksmith’s Shop when Dani thought she felt something more than friendly concern. Even though he was just trying to comfort her, his embrace had felt so right. The familiar smell of his skin. Even his chin resting on her head. He always used to do that because he was so much taller. It had driven sixteen-year-old Dani mad but mostly, whenever he held her, she simply felt safe. And loved. Why had she felt that again? Was it just some kind of weird muscle memory?
Looking down on the car, Dani imagined Nat finishing his text to Lola with kisses. Kisses and ‘miss you’s. ‘Love you forever’s. She wished she had someone to text her at night.
Dani’s own phone buzzed.
‘Just wanted to say night night. Xxx’
From Nat to her. She felt her cheeks grow warm.
Dani held her phone close to her heart for a moment.
Kisses good night.
But perhaps they weren’t really meant for her, she started thinking then. Perhaps he meant to text Lola.
‘Did you mean to text me?’ Dani responded.
‘Nutter,’ Nat replied. ‘Of course I did. Jezza says night night too. Sleep tight. Xxx’
More kisses.
She looked down at the car. At the same time Nat leaned forward so that he could look up at her through his windscreen. He grinned and made Jezza wave a paw.
She texted him back.
‘Watch the bugs don’t bite. Xxx.’
Chapter Fifty-Seven
The next morning, Dani woke to find that the bed beside her was empty. For a moment, she wasn’t even sure where she was. When it came back to her, she scrambled upright. Had Flossie snuck off again? Had Jed turned up and whisked her away from under her nose? No, Flossie was coming out of the bathroom, looking pink and clean and perfect again. Her little girl.
‘I’m so sorry, Mum,’ Flossie said again, as she wrapped her arms around Dani and peppered her face with kisses.
‘Stop it. It’s worse than being woken up by Jezza,’ Dani joked.
‘I’m going down to check on Jezza now,’ said Flossie. ‘And I need some breakfast. I’ll see if Nat wants some too, shall I?’
‘I’ll be right behind you,’ Dani said.
In the bathroom, Dani inspected her own face in the mirror. She hadn’t slept well and it showed. The bed was one of the least comfortable she had ever known. It didn’t help that she didn’t have any clean clothes to change into. Or any of her usual toiletries. She washed her face with the overly scented pink soap the hotel provided. It left her cheeks feeling stretched too tight. The complimentary toothpaste tasted terrible. The complimentary toothbrush snapped when Dani brushed too hard. There was no hairbrush so she had to make do with trying to persuade her hair into place with her fingers. She looked a mess. She felt guilty, tired and confused. And even though they’d spent the whole of the previous day together, the thought that Nat was downstairs made her feel strangely nervous. What would he be thinking this morning? After a night in the car? Would he still be feeling so generous towards her?
Nat didn’t look too bad considering he’d spent a night in the back seat of his Beemer. He said the landlady had allowed him to use the utility room on the ground floor to wash and brush up.
‘I felt like I should clean the room first,’ he whispered.
The dogs were already walked.
‘I woke up pretty early. When the local council came to fetch the wheelie bins. The dogs wouldn’t stop barking so I took them round the block.’
The landlady was also kind enough to allow Nat to join Dani and Flossie in the dining room for breakfast. At an exorbitant fee. When breakfast arrived, Nat speared a sausage.
‘Worth more than its weight in gold. Quite literally.’
Flossie sniggered. She seemed to be hitting it off with Nat. She didn’t even give him a lecture about the evils of eating meat.
As soon as they’d finished breakfast, it was time to get back on the road. Flossie had never been a very good passenger so Dani had to concede the front seat.
Fortunately, the back of Nat’s BMW was as comfortable as any limo and Dani sank into the leather embrace. Jezza and Princess were on the back seat beside her. Far from being difficult passengers, they seemed quite happy in a furry heap of tangled legs and tails as the car motored back down south. They were both fast asleep by Carlisle.
The atmosphere of the journey back to Devon was always going to be slightly different from the ride up. Then, Dani just wanted to get where she was going. Now there was no hurry, she was happy to watch the world go by. And listen to Nat talking to her daughter.
‘So, like, Mum said you were like really big into Che Guevara?’ Flossie said.
‘I don’t think I had a clue what he really stood for,’ Nat said. ‘I just liked that iconic portrait.’
‘It’s really cool,’ Flossie agreed.
They talked about music. Dani was surprised to hear that Nat had heard of, and liked, lots of the bands that Flossie and her friends claimed to be into.
‘How old were you when you went to your first festival?’ Flossie asked.
‘Thirty-seven,’ Nat deadpanned.
‘No way.’
‘OK. Thirty-five. And I hated every minute of it. We were staying in one of those “glamping” tents with all mod cons and it was still bloody awful. It rained non-stop. The mud was up to your knees. I thought I had trench foot by the end of the weekend. You couldn’t pay me to go to a festival again. I would rather sit in a bath full of warm sick.’
Flossie laughed.
It was a sound that lifted Dani’s heart.
‘After hiking up to Gretna,’ said Flossie. ‘And washing in a service station bathroom, I think I’d feel the same.’
About two hours into the journey, Dani closed her eyes and drifted off.
When a bump in the road jolted her into a state of semi-alertness, she found that Nat and Flossie were still talking. But they’d moved on from music and folk heroes. Flossie was dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. It could only be because of Jed.
‘I’ve never been able to trust any of the men in my life,’ she said. ‘Right from the very beginning. I guess I threw myself into things with Jed because I thought he might be able to fill the space in my heart that was always meant for my dad. The first man who let me down.’
‘Was he never there for you?’
‘Never.’
‘Do you have a relationship with him?’ Nat asked.
‘No. Not any more. When I was born, he told Mum he didn’t even believe I was his. Then, when he decided I was his after all, he sent me a couple of birthday cards. Then Mum says he met someone new and decided to have a family with her. He forgot all about m
e after that. It’s like I never existed.’
‘That’s not good,’ said Nat.
‘I guess I wasn’t worth hanging on to. Now Jed doesn’t want me either. That proves it.’
‘Don’t say that,’ said Nat. ‘Don’t even think that. The way your dad behaved towards you has absolutely nothing to do with you or anything you’ve done. How could it be? You were a baby, Flossie. Never ever blame yourself for the neglect of people who should have known better. As for Jed … He’s just a kid. He got scared. Nothing to do with you. You’re a beautiful, funny young woman and way out of his league.’
‘You don’t know Jed.’
‘I don’t think I need to. You’ve got so much life ahead of you, Flossie. So many things to do. So many people to meet. You’ve already grown into a fabulous person without the input of your father. You don’t need a man to validate you.’
Flossie nodded. ‘I know you’re right but it’s hard.’
‘I get it.’
‘Mum’s always been great but she’s a bit overprotective.’
‘I expect she feels she has to do the parenting for two.’
‘And after this weekend, I guess I’ve shown her that I don’t deserve to be trusted at all.’
‘I think she’ll understand what happened better than you think,’ said Nat. ‘I know I do. I really understand what you’re going through. And you probably feel as though nothing will ever make you happy again but I promise you it will. And there will also come a time when you look at Jed and feel grateful that he made the decision he did. The right thing doesn’t always look like the right thing at the time.’
Flossie agreed.
‘Put some music on?’ Nat suggested. ‘I know you’ve got good taste.’
As she searched through the tunes on Nat’s iPhone, Flossie asked, ‘Tell me about Mum when she was my age, Nat. What was she like?’
‘What do you want to know?’
‘Was she always as square as she is now?’
Nat laughed. ‘Is she square?’
‘Oh, you know.’
‘No. She wasn’t square. I thought she was really out there, in fact. She gave me my first cigarette.’
‘What? Mum doesn’t smoke.’
‘Perhaps I shouldn’t have told you that.’
Flossie shook her head.
‘She’s so hypocritical! She told me I’d be grounded for life if she ever so much as caught a whiff of smoke on me. And yet she smoked too.’
‘Parent’s prerogative. Do as I say, not as I do.’
‘What else, Nat? What did she dress like?’
‘She dressed like she was in the All Saints. Combat trousers. Logo T-shirts. I fancied her like crazy.’
Flossie grimaced.
‘It’s not that hard to believe. She’s a beautiful woman. She was my first love.’
‘Was she really?’
‘Yes. More importantly, she was my best friend.’
Dani couldn’t listen to any more. Not in this secretive, eavesdropping way. She sat upright and made a big show of yawning and stretching, to draw their attention to the back of the car and convince them that she’d only just woken up.
‘Sleeping beauty stirs,’ said Nat.
‘Have I been asleep long?’ Dani asked.
‘You’ve been snoring since Carlisle,’ said Nat.
‘Stop it.’
‘You do snore, Mum,’ said Flossie.
They stopped for lunch in the Midlands. Dani would have been happy with a service station but Nat said that since they were on an adventure, they should go somewhere decent. He had Flossie look up a dog-friendly gastro-pub that wasn’t too far from their route. She found a great place in a pretty village, where the dogs were treated as stars.
What did they look like? Dani wondered, as they sat at a table in the pub garden. Did they look like a little family? A couple with a daughter and two dogs? Best friends who’d made their lives together? Was this how it might have been?
Chapter Fifty-Eight
It was around six in the evening when they crossed the county border into Devon again. Soon they were in the centre of Newbay.
‘You can drop us here,’ said Dani as they passed the bus station. ‘We’re completely on the other side of town from your place.’
‘No way, I’m driving you right to the door,’ said Nat.
He was already heading in the direction of their place.
He found the house without needing to be told how to get there. When he pulled into the drive, Jane was at the front window with Sarah, eager to see who’d arrived.
‘I remember this house,’ said Nat. ‘Is that the hedge your dad had just put in all those years ago?’
The beech hedge was five feet tall now.
‘He always said that a true gardener plants for the generations who will come after him.’
‘He was a great man.’
‘Yeah,’ said Dani. ‘He was. He liked you too.’
While they were unloading, Jane rushed out of the front door and grabbed Flossie in a bear hug the moment she stepped out of the car.
‘Flossie! We were all so worried,’ she said. ‘Whatever were you thinking?’
Dani subtly shook her head to let Jane know that there were to be no recriminations.
‘Nat,’ Jane changed tack. ‘I’m so grateful to you for looking after my girls. Would you like to come inside for some tea?’
‘Yes. I made a cake,’ said Sarah.
‘I’d better get home,’ he said. But first he wanted to say goodbye properly.
‘All right, Flossie. If you do hear from that loser, Jed, tell him he can drop off your money and your charger when you’re not in and then take a hike, OK? And next time you take someone up on a marriage proposal, make sure he’s not a total flake.’
Flossie gave Nat the thumbs-up.
‘I promise I will never get married without running my potential fiancé past you first, Nat. You’re my relationship guru from now on.’
Flossie threw her arms around him. ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you. You really are the best.’
Nat looked over the top of Flossie’s head at Dani.
‘You are pretty bloody special,’ Dani agreed.
Escaping Flossie’s embrace, Nat leaned forward to kiss Dani on the cheek. She quickly wrapped her arms around him.
‘You’re a star.’
‘That one is a keeper,’ said Sarah as Nat drove off. ‘That Lola woman has really lucked out.’
After Nat had gone back to his house, the three Parker women and Sarah were soon settled in for the night.
Flossie curled up on the sofa with Jane. Jezza squeezed himself in between them.
‘You’ve always got to be at the centre of everything!’ Flossie tutted.
Jezza responded by stretching out his legs and shoving Flossie into the armrest so that he had more space.
‘Jezza!’
He got his way.
Flossie looked so young, thought Dani as she carried in a tray of tea and biscuits. Way too young to have been on such a crazy adventure. It was a total blessing that it hadn’t worked out. The idea that Jed might have been her son-in-law by now!
But Dani was beginning to come round to the idea that she couldn’t be too angry with Jed. The adventure had sprung from a romantic notion. They were still children really. Both of them. Jed wasn’t much older than Nat had been, back in 1996.
On the sofa, Jane stroked Flossie’s hair. ‘Don’t you worry about anything, my darling,’ said Jane. ‘You’ve got me, you’ve got your mum, you’ve got Auntie Sarah and you’ve got Jezza. We’ll look after you. You can always rely on grandmas, mums, aunties and dogs.’
And Nat, thought Dani. She could always rely on him.
While the others chilled out in the sitting room, Dani went up to her bedroom. She found a text on her phone from Nat.
‘I hope Flossie’s feeling a bit better now. I’m getting an early night. Got to pick Lola up at the airport again tomorrow.’
‘Hello.’ He sounded tentative when he picked up.
‘Hello,’ said Dani. It was strange that they’d been together for the last twenty-four hours and yet now, on the phone, Dani felt suddenly shy again.
‘Is everything OK?’ Nat asked.
‘We’re all fine,’ said Dani. ‘Flossie’s watching telly with my mum and Sarah and Jezza. I’ve had a much-needed bath.’
‘Me too. So …’
‘So, I wanted to call you to say thank you again. You drove all the way to Gretna Green and back for my daughter and me. You had to sleep in the car. With the dogs.’
‘They were very good at keeping me warm. Jezza’s the equivalent of a ten tog duvet.’
‘But you must have been so uncomfortable. At least let me give you some money for petrol to make up for it.’
‘No, really. It’s no big deal.’
‘It’s a huge deal,’ said Dani. ‘Especially … You know … It being what it was.’
The elephant got up and walked to the centre of the room, where it waited for Dani to keep talking.
‘Nat,’ she continued. ‘Before all this happened … Yesterday morning, before I got the call from Flossie to say she was in Scotland, it seemed like you were going to tell me something important.’
‘Was I?’ asked Nat, ushering the elephant straight back to its corner. ‘I don’t remember.’
‘You said that you’d been thinking about something …’
‘Did I?’
‘Maybe I got the wrong end of the stick.’
‘I was probably just going to ask your advice about wedding stuff.’
‘Oh. Well, if you remember what it was you wanted to know,’ Dani tried to recover. ‘Then I’m always at the end of the phone.’
‘Thank you.’
‘No. Thank you, again, for everything.’
‘I would have done the same for anyone.’
There was something about that sentence that Dani didn’t like.