The XOXO New Adult Collection: 16 Full Length New Adult Stories

by Brina Courtney

  I reached out to touch his arm. “Hey,” I whispered.

  He didn't look at me.

  “Hey,” I said again, a little louder.

  He pulled his gaze away from the water and looked at me. His eyes were dry, his features soft, but I could still see the pain etched into his face.

  I tightened my grip on his arm. “It wasn't your fault,” I said.

  He shook his head. “It was.”

  “No. It wasn't.” My words were slightly slurred from the beer but I kept my voice firm.

  “I made him go,” he said. He tore his gaze from me and looked back out at the water. “Goaded him into it. Egged him on.”

  “He didn't have to do it.”

  He shook his head. “He wasn't gonna say no to me. I made him do it. And he didn't want to. Wasn't comfortable. But he did it. For me.”

  He didn't say anything more but he didn't have to. I knew what he was thinking. That Jay had done it for Kellen...and had gotten himself killed because of it. And I knew where that put Kellen. He felt responsible, as if Jay's death was all his fault.

  “Kellen,” I said, my voice sharp. I dug my fingers into his arm. “You did not kill Jay. Do you hear me? You didn't do it. The blame does not lie with you. The ocean killed Jay. A wave, a missed breath, whatever it was that ended his life. Something went wrong. But it wasn't you. It wasn't your fault.”

  He kicked at the sand just as a wave came ashore and a spray of water shot out in front of us. “Bullshit.”

  He turned to me and I saw the unshed tears in his eyes and I knew I couldn't see him cry again. I couldn't let him feel that pain anymore. All I wanted to do was take it away, help him forget. So I did the only thing I could think of.

  I held on to him with my one arm and wrapped the other around his neck. Before he could say anything, before he could even react, I brought my lips to his and kissed him.

  I must have caught him off guard because the next thing I knew, we tumbled to the sand, just out of the reach of the water. I kissed his cheeks, his chin, his lips and the taste of salt was sharp on my tongue and I didn't know if it was the ocean or the remnants of his tears.

  I didn't care.

  I just wanted to help him feel better.

  And help him forget.

  TWENTY NINE

  Kellen

  Gina tasted like beer.

  I didn't care. I was too buzzed, too wrecked to think about anything other than the fact that she was kissing me. She'd reached for me, not the other way around. And the kiss was just as explosive as the night in my driveway. I didn't think about what we were doing or what might happen afterward. I just reacted, pinning her gently to the ground and kissing her back.

  Her tongue licked at my lips and I opened my mouth, letting her explore. Her hands found their way into my hair and held my head steady. She moaned softly beneath me and her hips pushed up into mine, surprising me. I pushed back and she moaned again, our mouths locked together, kissing harder, more urgently. Her fingers gripped my hair and she pulled me closer, our chests pressed together. I shifted, moved one of my hands over her chest and felt her nipples through her shirt. Her legs went around mine, the sand on her heels rubbing against my skin.

  I moved my mouth to her ear. “We shouldn't be doing this,” I whispered.

  She grazed my neck with her teeth. “I know.”

  I bit down on her earlobe and she arched into me. One of her hands slid from my head to my chest. Then to my waist. Then between my legs.

  It was my turn to moan. Her hands were soft and warm, comforting and exciting at the same time. I couldn't remember the last time someone had touched me that way. I didn't think anyone ever had.

  “We should stop,” she whispered as she squeezed me.

  I caught my breath, then pressed myself harder into her hand. “So stop.”

  “You stop first,” she whispered and sucked at my neck.

  I kissed her again and slipped my hand beneath her shirt and bra. Her nipple felt like a pebble between my fingers as I rubbed it. “You.”

  She arched into me again. “Fuck. We should stop.”

  I took a deep breath and pulled my hand out from inside her shirt. My heart hammered against my chest. “Alright. Alright. Yeah. I'll stop.”

  But she didn't. She lifted her hand for a second and then covered me again, squeezing, stroking.

  “We'll stop,” she whispered. “Just so we can go inside.”

  I knew she was talking and I could hear the words she was saying but she wasn't making sense. “What?”

  “Just take me inside, Kellen.” She cupped her hand around me. “Take me inside.”

  THIRTY

  Kellen

  I carried her inside, my unstable legs wobbly as we made it back up the sand, her hands still roaming my body, her lips sucking at my neck.

  “Take me to the shower,” she whispered as we stepped through the door.

  I didn't question, couldn't question. I just nodded and headed for the bathroom.

  I set her down, opened the door to the shower and flipped on the water. She leaned against the bathroom wall, her eyes half-lidded, a small smile on her lips. I turned back to her and she didn't waste time, just pulled down my shorts so I could step out of them. I lifted her top over her head and unclasped her bra as she pushed her own shorts to the floor. She reached for me, pulling me into the shower and the hot water rained down over us.

  My hands roamed her wet skin and she threw her head back, arching toward me. I leaned down and covered her breast with my mouth, tasting water and the flavor of her skin. She reached behind my head and pulled me tightly to her chest, whimpering as I flicked at her nipple with my tongue. I slid my hands down to her ass and my fingertips gliding over her slick skin. She grabbed my face with her hands, moving my lips from her breast to her mouth, and devoured me, her tongue tangling with mine. She pressed her body up against me and the water cascaded over us, covering us, the steam rising, creating a haze around us. She took me in her hand again and I shuddered and thrust into her touch. Fuck, I wanted her. She gripped me tightly and slid her hand back and forth, over and over, as we kissed. I felt the surge inside of me and knew I was close, knew her touch alone might be enough to make me explode. I cupped her ass in my hands and lifted her up, shoving her up against the wall. She didn't protest, didn't make a sound. Instead, she let go of me and eagerly wrapped her legs around my waist. Her hands shifted to my hair and she grasped a handful, pulling tightly.

  I looked at her, my heart pounding like a jackhammer, desire racing through me. Her eyes were wide, her head tilted back against the wall, her mouth open. She said nothing but I knew what she wanted, what her eyes were telling me.

  I dropped her slightly, positioning her against the wall. Slowly, my eyes still locked with hers, I pushed my cock into the hot, wet space between her legs.

  Her mouth opened wider and she nodded, moaning, and I pushed all the way inside of her.

  She gasped. Or maybe that was me. Her nails dug into my skull as I thrust as deep as I could, letting her wetness wrap around me.

  I tried to go slow, tried to savor it, tried to not lose myself in the heat of the moment. I moved slowly, reveling in every inch of her warmth. She stayed still for a minute, clinging to me and then she began to move her hips, matching my rhythm. I tried to steady my breathing, tried to slow it down because every single nerve in my body was on fire and I knew I was about to lose it.

  She must have known, must have somehow been able to sense it because she dropped her legs and I slipped out of her.

  “Bed,” she whispered. “Take me to the bed.”

  I nodded, breathing heavily. I held on to her with one hand, shut the water off with the other and then picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. Her skin prickled with goosebumps and I held her as close to me as I could, raining kisses on her cheeks and her neck as I made my way toward the bed.

  I lowered her on to the bed, hovering over her for a second before pushing fu
lly into her again. I gasped and she groaned and clawed at my back, her nails tearing at my skin. I didn't care, just thrust harder into her. She looked up at me, her eyes black with desire, as she matched my rhythm with her hips. I covered her mouth with mine, hungry to taste her, our hot, slick skin sticking together.

  Her legs flexed around me, tightening their grip and then she pushed at my chest, rolling me onto my back with strength I didn't know she had.

  She placed her hands on my chest and rode me slowly, a delicious kind of torture. She whipped her hair back, drops of water raining down on me. She leaned down and her tongue licked at my ear, my neck, my collarbone, her hands sliding down to my stomach. Then she rose up again, her hands back on my chest, pressing hard on me. Her hips picked up speed and I put my hands on her ass, squeezing her. She moaned and moved faster, throwing her hips into me violently.

  I felt it. I was at the edge.

  “Gina, I'm gonna...” I said.

  “Do it,” she said, her voice ragged. “I'm ready.”

  She rode me harder, faster, and I rose up, driving into her as hard as I could. Her fingers dug into my chest and her breathing was loud, more like gasps. She bit down on her bottom lip as we moved.

  My fingers dug into her ass and I pulled her down hard against me as I exploded inside of her. She dropped her head, her wet hair tickling my chest as her hips rocked fast against mine. She threw her head back, screaming, and I surrendered completely.

  Finally, her hips slowed and she collapsed on to me, her head falling to my chest, our bodies plastered together. I could feel her heart beating, could feel her trying to catch her breath. Just like me. I ran a hand through her hair, draping my other arm over her, holding her to me, quiet settling over us.

  I closed my eyes. I wanted to ask her what had just happened. It was as if the kiss in the driveway had been a fantasy, the anger and accusations a figment of my imagination. But I didn't know that I wanted to hear the answers. For the first time in a long time, I felt whole. Complete. The ache in my chest was gone and I didn't know if it was temporary or a permanent thing but I knew how I felt.

  I felt like me.

  But before I could think longer on it, try to figure out if and how I could get the words out, I noticed Gina's breathing had slowed. Her head lay against my chest, her hair splayed across my arm, her eyelids closed, a contented smile on her lips. My breath hitched in my throat and I tightened my grip around her, caressing her arm before planting a soft kiss on her hair.

  I didn't want to reason or rationalize what had just happened.

  I just wanted to hold her.

  THIRTY ONE

  Gina

  My eyes fluttered open in the dark room.

  Kellen was stretched out on the bed, his naked body pressed up against me. My leg was thrown over his, my head on his chest. I could hear his heart beat, a slow, steady rhythm. His skin was warm to the touch.

  A dull throbbing worked its way through my head and I closed my eyes again. My lower back ached and my legs were heavy with exhaustion. My mind was heavy, too, like a thick fog had settled over my brain.

  But then I focused, processed where I was. And what I'd done.

  My eyes flew open.

  Shit.

  What the hell had I just done? I wasn't drunk anymore and I hadn't been drunk enough to forget what had happened because the memories from the night before came rushing in. Kellen talking on the couch. Me following him out to the water. Kissing him. Touching him. Being carried into the house. The shower. Oh, God, the shower. I relived every moment. His hands, his mouth, his everything. He'd consumed me, both there and then later, in his bed. The bed I was laying in, nestled up against him.

  He breathed in, then, a soft sigh, and shifted a little. But he didn't wake up. I let my eyes travel the length of his body, from his mussed hair to the light stubble on his chin, to his bare, tanned chest and the muscled ridges of his abs.

  It had been...awhile. No one since Luke. And not once had I ever been with anyone who'd caused me to pass out after having sex with them. Maybe it had been the alcohol. A passed out drunk coma. But I knew better. Whatever had exploded inside of me was something I'd never felt before and it had sent me spinning.

  Jesus. It was like he'd set my entire body on fire the minute he'd touched me. I'd been drunk, but definitely sober enough to know that I'd wanted it. Wanted him.

  Maybe I'd ignored the attraction. Maybe it had been there all along. I thought about the kiss in the driveway and how I'd blown up at him afterward. Part of me had been pissed that he'd crossed the line, blurring our professional relationship, but I knew myself and I knew there was more to it than that. I'd reacted the way I did because of how he'd made me feel. Desired. Wanted. Alive. Emotions I hadn't felt in years. And it terrified me. I wasn't prepared to want anyone ever again because I didn't want to lose anyone again.

  But then I'd kissed him. He hadn't done it; it had been all me. He'd stood there, staring out into the water, and I'd reached for him and kissed him. And then we'd fallen to the sand and he covered my body with his and all I could think about was how much I wanted him. For once, for the first time in forever, I stopped thinking and just did what I wanted.

  Except now I was thinking again.

  He was my client. I worked for his employer. I was charged with keeping him out of trouble. And now I was lying naked in bed with him. It was unprofessional. No matter what I'd felt, I should've been able to make a better decision.

  Kellen stirred again but his eyes remained shut.

  Part of me wanted to stay there in bed with him, to wake him up by crawling on top of him and picking up where we'd left off. But I'd already let that part of me do the decision making. And, no matter what I'd felt, it had been a mistake.

  So I did the only thing I could do. The responsible thing. I slid slowly out of the bed, making sure I didn't make a sound. I tiptoed to the bathroom and found my clothes on the floor, the shower door still wide open. I quickly pulled on my clothes, glancing in the mirror as I pulled my shirt over my head. My hair was a mess, knotted and tangled, but even that couldn't hide the glow in my eyes or the rosiness in my complexion.

  I sighed. Sex with Kellen Handler had agreed with me in more ways than one.

  Stop, I told myself. Nothing can happen. Nothing is going to happen.

  I padded back into the bedroom, walking on the tips of my toes. Kellen was still asleep, still hadn't moved.

  I walked quietly out to the kitchen. I searched the counters for a pen and paper, but found none. My purse was still in my car. There was no way I'd make it out and back without waking him up.

  Shit. I couldn't just leave. Guys did that, not girls. And definitely not me. But I knew I couldn't stay. I couldn't have him wake up and look at me and want to know what had happened and how and why. Because he would ask – and I didn't have any answers. That wasn't true. I didn't have any answers I felt comfortable giving him.

  I stood at the kitchen counter and thought for a minute longer. Rip hopped up next to me and rubbed his face against mine, a low purr in his throat.

  After a few agonizing minutes, I made a decision.

  A professional decision.

  I found my car keys and my sandals and slipped them on. And then I let myself out of Kellen Handler's house as quietly as I could.

  THIRTY TWO

  Kellen

  I woke up alone.

  By the time I opened my eyes, it was after nine the next morning. I rolled over and put my arm around...empty space. I blinked, realized the bed was empty, and sat up.

  “Gina?”

  No answer.

  I slid out of bed, pulled on my shorts and checked the bathroom, then the living room.

  She was gone.

  I scanned the table for a note, but the only thing on the table was Rip, asleep. I checked my phone. Nothing.

  I punched in her number and got her voicemail.

  I hung up and tossed the phone back on the table. It clattered
next to Rip and he jumped, ears flattened.

  What the hell?

  I stalked into the kitchen and pulled a glass from the cupboard. I stood at the sink and filled it, then downed it in one quick swallow. I set the cup down and braced my hands on the counter and closed my eyes and thought about the previous night.

  I hadn't planned it. I hadn't planned anything. Hell, I hadn't even known that Gina was coming over. I remembered my surprise when I opened the door, seeing her holding the twelve pack of beer. More surprise when she'd told me what she had planned for the evening.

  I'd help up my end of the bargain. Spilled everything about Jay, about that day at Mavericks. And she'd figured it all out; figured out how it had made me feel, why it haunted me every fucking day of my life. She'd followed me out to the beach and watched me stare at the water. And even though she hadn't said anything, I knew she knew exactly what I was thinking about. Jay. Wishing I could bring him back, wishing he would walk right out of the ocean, like he'd just played the biggest and best practical joke he could think of.

  And she'd known something else, too; the fact that I blamed myself for his death. I'd never said it out loud to anyone but it had always been there, since that fucking day in the water. I saw myself dragging him to shore. Like a movie in slow-motion, I could see it all, every single detail. The grains of sand clinging to his cheeks. The cut above his right eye. The dull, unseeing green eyes. It was there, staring me in the face, mocking me, accusing me.

  I'd killed Jay. No one else.

  But Gina wouldn't let me take the blame. And when I wouldn't listen, when I'd tried to tune her out, to argue with her and tell her she was wrong, she'd used the one thing she knew I couldn't say no to. She'd kissed me.

  And then everything had exploded. Tumbling to the sand, her mouth and hands just as eager as mine. I placed my hands on the counter. I'd told her we needed to stop. I remembered it vividly. And I would have. But she'd said no. She'd wanted it – wanted me – just as much as I'd wanted her. She'd directed me into the shower, then into bed. Even then, she'd taken charge, rolling on top of me, finishing what we'd started. And then she'd fallen asleep, her arms wrapped around me, her head on my chest. I felt a twinge of emotion flicker inside of me, something I couldn't identify. Something I didn't want to identify.