Secrets Of The Heart (Book 1, The Heart Series)

by Laurie LeClair

  “Thank you.”

  He sucked in a deep, cleansing breath.

  Stumbling over the swiftly forming thoughts tumbling through his head, Nick pressed on. “In my own way I depend on you, your presence in my life, believing that you won’t let me down.”

  She swallowed hard. “I’m doing the best I can in that department.”

  Was that a trace of fear he detected in her quivering voice? Sweeping it aside, he continued, “When Nana broke her hip, I automatically called you. All I had to say was, ‘I need your help’, and you dropped everything, rearranged your hours and appointments, and you were right by my side nursing Nana.”

  “I loved her, too, Nick.” Tears clogged her voice and she sniffed them away.

  Taking her hands in his once again, he raised them to his lips, depositing a kiss on the back of each one. “I know, sweetness. But you could have just come by to visit when time allowed instead of living through the worst of it: bathing her, helping her to the bathroom when she had too much dignity to use a bedpan, holding her as the pneumonia robbed her of breath, the way her body stopped working in slow degrees and you never waived, you never quit on her, talking to her into the wee hours of the morning when she had trouble sleeping, respecting her and Sydney enough to let them both come to terms with Nana’s impending death…”

  This time when he looked at her, he watched the tears fall. His middle clenched. Gingerly, he wiped the trail of moisture away. “And after Nana died, you stepped in to help with the details of her funeral, alleviating the terrible burden of all the duties from my shoulders. I’d known, with an unshakable certainty, you would guide me through, and that I could depend on you.” He stopped, too filled with emotion to finish all that he’d hoped to share with her.

  “You give me too much credit. I only did what I could to help her and you.” She locked gazes with him, a strong determination shone bright among the brilliant sparkle of tears. “You can depend on me, Nick. Whatever I do for you is strictly out of love. Trust me.”

  Can I? A small nugget of distrust still lingered. The repeated mysterious phone calls still unsettled him. He had the impression she knew more than she was letting on.

  Last week her explanation had made perfect sense. But he’d held onto his lingering reservations, hoping Bree would exonerate herself.

  Had she even contacted that woman yet?

  A niggling doubt poked its way through his scrambling thoughts. If he asked her, would she be able to pass his final test? Or would she lie once again? “The phone calls still bother me, Bree.”

  She dragged her hands away from his, sat back and hugged herself tightly. “Has there been more that I don’t know about?”

  “None.” He swore the tension seeped out of her in one long, slow sigh. “Have you called the woman on the alumni committee?”

  She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, a tiny droplet escaped to roll down her pale cheek. When she focused on him, a bleakness seemed to have taken up residence in her eyes, turning them dark and unfathomable. "I guess I’ve been avoiding telling you this since I came home. She returned my call tonight at the shop.”

  The tension filled silence hung between them, stretching Nick’s nerves to unbearable lengths. The lack of Bree’s quick acknowledgment that this woman, or someone on her committee, had been the one making inquiries gave him two very opposite deductions and reactions. On one hand, the mystery still continued, making him more concerned. On the other hand, Bree wasn’t going to feed him lies; he could read it in her troubled expression. This last observation allowed hope to stir in his chest.

  Softly, he asked, “She didn’t make them, right?”

  Pressing her lips together, she shook her head. “In fact, some people on the committee have been subjected to the calls, too.”

  Gently, he probed deeper. “Who do you suppose is trying to find you, sweetness?”

  She buried her face in her hands for a long moment. When she finally dragged them to her mouth, cupping them there in a prayer like fashion, she searched his steady gaze. He ached for her tormented, frantic look. Fear crowded his gut.

  Was someone trying to harm her?

  Chapter 30

  The hairs on the back of Nick’s neck stood on end as he waited for her to respond. A ribbon of common sense slithered its way through his reeling mind. “You’ve suspected someone all along, haven’t you?”

  “Yes,” she choked out.

  All his muscles tightened involuntarily, ready to burst. “Who the hell is it, Bree?”

  She took a ragged breath. “I think it could be an old…boyfriend.”

  A knot formed in his gut, part jealousy, part disquiet. “Has he done this before? Is that why you think it’s him?”

  With a trembling hand, she reached for her wine glass, and then drank deeply. After lowering the goblet, she swallowed hard several times before she looked at him. “I’m sorry, Nick. I know I should have told you before now but I’d hoped it was my high school trying to get in touch with me.”

  “Tell me about this guy.”

  She replaced the glass on the table, avoiding his stare and his demand. A shiver racked her body. “I can’t. It was so horrible. I don’t want to talk about him or anything else. Please, Nick, just hold me.”

  Her woeful plea tore a hole through his heart. Standing, he pulled her into his arms. Gathering her close, he stroked her back as she trembled uncontrollably. Closing his eyes, he whispered into her hair, “It’s all right, sweetness, I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

  Dear God, what had this bastard done to her? I’m going to find out and keep him away from my wife.

  Her hot tears seeped through his shirt as she buried her face in his chest. “I feel so safe in your arms.”

  “Because that’s where you belong. We’re a family, Bree, don’t ever forget that.”

  And I finally know you’ll tell me the truth.

  Inwardly, Nick sensed a fracture shafting through the hard core of distrust he’d held onto for so long, cracking it wide open.

  The broken shards ripped away, leaving him exposed and vulnerable.

  He felt as if he’d just catapulted from a plane, free falling through air. A mixture of excitement and trepidation tingled in his veins.

  He’d just taken the biggest risk of his entire life. Nick hoped he’d never regret it.

  ***

  Bree plopped down onto the chair at the reception desk in the beauty salon. For days now, she lived in dread of Nick discovering her secret.

  Longing for his trust, for an honest relationship with him, she’d nearly spilled everything last week, coming so damn close it wasn’t funny. She had to keep the rest bottled up inside her, even if she invented excuses just to keep Nick off the track.

  Tessa shoved a can of soda at her. “Here, you look like you could use this. I’m afraid Jewel and I went through all the coffee we brewed this morning or else that’s what you’d get instead.”

  Gratefully, Bree accepted, drinking the cold, refreshing bubbly cola. “Thanks, buddy, ol’ pal of mine.”

  “Don’t mention it. I know when you come in here on your day off that something’s the matter. Is it Sydney being in kindergarten? You know, you haven’t been the same since her first day of school.”

  Something tugged behind Bree’s heart. She missed her daughter, missed the time they spent together. The morning hours seemed to drag by without her smile, giggle, or even her funny little sayings.

  Placing the metal can on the wooden desk produced a slight ping. “I suppose that’s why I’m a little down,” she admitted, refusing to go into details on her worries about Nick and her.

  Her red-haired friend smiled triumphantly, her green eyes dancing merrily. “We thought so. We’ve got a good cure for that. How about another all girls night?”

  Bree groaned. “No way. The last time I did I nearly got a traffic ticket for my troubles.”

  A peel of giggles erupted, so fast and so hard, that Tessa had to
grab hold of the desk to keep steady.

  Enjoying her friend’s delight put Bree in a better mood. “Oh, you think that’s funny, do you?”

  “Uh huh.”

  Searching the empty beauty salon, Bree grew curious. “Where’s your cohort?”

  “Jewel? It was so slow. I talked her into going up to the Surplus store to buy Sean those expensive sneakers he’s had his eye on.”

  Frowning, she asked, “But I thought he told her to forget it since she didn’t have the extra money.”

  “He did, great kid that he is and all.” She shrugged, saying, “She dipped into her savings to buy them for him.”

  “I’ll chip in. I’ve got extra now that I moved out of my apartment and in with Nick. Business is good, too.”

  “My tips are up. I’ll pitch in, too. Sean deserves it. And she needs the help.”

  The sudden shrill ring of the phone startled Bree, making her jump. She winced at her edginess; whenever she heard a phone ring these days she expected it to be him.

  “Want me to get if for you?” Tessa asked, clearly picking up on Bree’s discomfort.

  Shaking her head, Bree rounded up the last of her dying courage. On the third ring, she lifted the receiver, automatically saying the shop’s name and tacking on, “May I help you?”

  “Oh, thank God, it’s you, Bree!”

  Worry formed a knot in her middle at the panicky tone. “Jewel, is that you?”

  “I tried your house, but there was no answer. I’m so glad you were at the shop or I wouldn’t know what I’d have done.” The usually unflappable Jewel seemed totally out of sorts.

  Bree pushed Tessa’s hand away as she tried to yank at the phone. “Let me talk to Jewel.”

  “Wait, Tessa.” Returning the receiver near her mouth once again, Bree asked, “What’s wrong? Is it Sean?”

  “No, no, not him.”

  “You, then? Are you hurt? Were you in an accident?”

  Tessa piped up, “An accident? Is she at the hospital?”

  Gripping the phone, Bree felt a sliver of alarm snake its way down her spine. “Jewel, answer me!”

  “Oh, Bree, I’m so sorry to have to tell you this. I was shopping at the Surplus, that’s where I’m at now. And these people came in talking about something that went on at the police barracks.”

  “Jewel, just tell me!”

  She sucked in a shaky breath. “There’s been a shooting. Nick’s involved.”

  The phone slipped through her nerveless fingers, cracking when it made contact with the desk.

  ***

  Flying down the highway a few minutes later, Bree clung to the steering wheel. A paralyzing fear squeezed her insides, forcing the queasiness residing there to rise to her throat as she prayed, “Dear God, please let Nick be all right. I’ll do anything, promise anything, if you only keep him safe.”

  A wave of emptiness crashed over her. She blinked back the sudden moisture gathering in her eyes. A whimper escaped as she imagined having to tell her daughter Nick was hurt, or worse, dead. “Oh no! Don’t do this to Sydney. Please, not her.”

  As she honked at the slow moving car in front of her, and then skillfully weaved around it, she recalled the short span of time she and Nick had had together. Both sweet and painful memories collided in her mind.

  “So much wasted time with all the mistrust, lies, arguments, distance…”

  All because of me and my damn pride.

  “Just give me one more chance, God, and I’ll set things straight with Nick. I swear I’ll tell him the truth, I’ll tell him everything.”

  Worry at his reaction stabbed her middle, but she thrust it aside. Nick had given so much, had tried so hard to find his way back to his faith, to trusting people, to her, that Bree knew she had to be the one to come the rest of the way in order to set them both free.

  I’ll come clean with Nick, then, in time, we’ll tell Sydney together.

  “Please, let Nick be unharmed, then please let him understand why I’ve lied for so many years.”

  A few minutes later, Bree swung her car into the police parking lot. Braking hard, she shoved the car into park. She raced to a waiting Jewel. All the while her heart hammered in her chest and bile threatened to erupt from her belly.

  The serene parking area seemed at odds with what she’d learned. Grabbing her friend by the shoulders and shaking her, she asked, “Have you seen him? Have you heard anything?”

  Her stony expression frustrated Bree even more. “I’m sorry, Bree, I was waiting for you to get here. I was too scared to find out by myself.”

  “Yo, Bree!” The sweetest sound she’d ever heard came from the direction of the brick building.

  She whipped around, catching sight of Nick jogging toward her. A cry caught and broke in the back of her throat as she ran to him. “Oh, Nick.”

  He scooped her up the moment she reached him. His arms never felt so good to her.

  He’s safe!

  “You’re all right!” She silently sent up a prayer of thankfulness to the powers that be.

  “The minute I could I got to a phone and finally hooked up with Tessa. She told me how bad you were shaking and how you’d floored the car out of there. Lord, I had visions of you wrapped around a metal post.”

  Pulling back from the warm welcoming embrace, she just had to look at him, touch him, smell him, and taste him. She kissed him urgently at first, with a hunger born of desperation. Then, she slowed and gentled her lips, savoring his firm, masculine ones.

  He broke away. “Ah…sweetness, I’m still on duty.” The reluctance in his voice brought a smile to her mouth and a joy to her core.

  Running her hands over him, she demanded, “Tell me what happened. Jewel said you were involved in a shooting.”

  Just then, he seemed to notice her friend. Bree heard the light footsteps approach from behind. Hesitantly, Bree loosened her hold on him, and then released him all together.

  When Jewel drew near, she cuffed him on the shoulder. Tears swam in her violet eyes, stunning Bree at the uncharacteristic display of emotion. “Don’t you die on us, you big lug,” Jewel choked out.

  “Us?” he asked.

  “Yeah, Bree and Sydney. And my son. He’s gone and got a bad case of hero worship.”

  “What about Tessa and you, if I keel over you two won’t have anyone to gossip about anymore, is that it?” The underlying roughness in his tone alerted Bree to how Jewel’s concern had deeply affected her husband.

  Jewel sniffed loudly, swiping at her fast falling tears. “Of course, why else would I care about your sorry butt, Carletti?”

  “Yeah, why else?” He grinned boyishly.

  “Well, now that you’ve gone and scared me half to death, you’ve ruined my day.” Her no-nonsense attitude returned in full force. “I’m going back to the shop now. I have an afternoon perm to do.”

  She made to leave, but turned back suddenly and hugged Bree, squeezing her so tight that Bree thought her ribs would crack. Then Jewel cuffed Nick again, saying, “Don’t let it happen again.”

  Five minutes later, Bree giggled as Nick stole kisses as they sat in her now correctly parked car. The small cramped space added to the air of sacred intimacy. “You still haven’t explained anything to me.”

  “Didn’t I tell you I love you a million times already?” His wicked grin melted the last of the iciness from her veins.

  Sighing happily, she said, “A million and one, but who’s counting.”

  Sobering, he said, “They were bringing in a disorderly drunk. His hands were cuffed in front of him, those plastic cuffs. He bucked and twisted, then grabbed one of the officers’ guns right out of his holster. I was right there. Everything happened so fast, my instincts just kicked in. When he lifted the gun up to aim, I shot the drunk in the hand. He dropped the weapon and lunged at me like a raving lunatic. He never made it, because he had ten cops wrestling him to the ground before I could ever blink.”

  Aftershocks set in. Bree quaked with
the overabundance of unused adrenaline. The tears she’d so successfully held at bay until now began to cloud her vision.

  He’d saved a fellow officer. How like Nick!

  “I thought…” She couldn’t even voice her concerns.

  Pulling back slightly, he rubbed his thumb along a long, wet trail a tear had just taken. “Shhh, now. I’m fine. Still in one piece.”

  Her chin quivered. “I thought my worst nightmare had come true. You don’t know how many prayers I say for you when you walk out the door to go to work.”

  A deep rumble vibrated in his chest. It sounded like part moan, part cry of a wounded animal to Bree. “Why didn’t you ever tell me how much you suffered?”

  “I didn’t want to concern you with my problems.”

  His curse, loud and fierce, shocked her. Framing her face between his palms, he forced her to look directly into his eyes. “You look at me when I say this because it’s the last time I’m going to waste my breath on this, understand?”

  She nodded slightly, restrained by the weight of his hands.

  “I love you with everything that’s in me, Bree Hansen Carletti. All your problems are mine, however big or small. If you hurt, I hurt. If you cry, know that I’m crying on the inside, too.”

  Stunned wonder rained down on her as she gazed into fiery dark brown eyes filled with a wealth of love. Should she risk telling him her fears?

  Taking a deep, shaky breath she tried to put her worries into words. “I’m so scared, Nick. Losing Vinnie hurt me. Partly because I'd lost a friend long before the bullet took him away. A lot of what I felt were self-recriminations for not trying hard enough, not going the extra mile to repair the damage that I helped inflict. But…” Her voice broke. “But it’s not even close to the pain I’d endure if you died. I love with all my heart.”

  Placing a quick, hard kiss on her lips, he dropped his hands, and then set back in the driver’s seat, still facing her with a hand gripping the back of her seat. “Are you asking me to quit, Bree?”

  A part of her longed to say yes, but she refused to give in to the weak side of herself. “It’s who you are, Nicholas Carletti. I could no more ask you to leave the force than to ask you to cut off your right arm.”