Emily's Cowboy

by Donna Gallagher

  * * * *

  What on earth was taking so long? Emily could not stand it any longer—the waiting, the not knowing.

  Her father, Mac—the larger than life, most important person in her world—was in surgery. Battling for survival. For how long was anyone’s guess. No one had been out to see her for hours. She should have gone searching for him sooner, should have known something had been wrong. Emily was going out of her mind as she replayed the afternoon’s horrible events over and over.

  The sight of him lying under the fallen tractor, so still, so pale…if she lived to be a hundred, she would never forget that sight. Her sense of panic, not knowing what she should do first, or if her dad was still alive. Then the utter hopelessness at her inability to free his unconscious, barely breathing body from under the weight of the tractor pinning him to the ground. Her fear she would not be fast enough as she had ridden her horse, without mercy, to the Andrews farm to get help, terrified that he would die out there all alone because she hadn’t got help to him in time.

  The call to the emergency services, as she had tried to explain what had happened coherently, was a blur. Emily had thanked the Lord for the help from Malcolm and Gail Andrews, for her neighbours’ aid in not only directing the emergency services to the correct location, but Malcolm’s insistence on returning with her to her father’s side to wait. It had taken an excruciating length of time for the paramedics to reach the paddock her father had lain broken in. Then there had been the wait for the helicopter to land, to airlift her father to the aircraft that would make the flight to Sydney, to the surgeons who were needed to repair her father’s damaged body.

  There had been so much waiting, and there was just so much that she hadn’t managed to do. It was all adding up in her brain. She still had not contacted her brother directly. The number Dylan had given her to use in an emergency—and Emily could not think of any worse kind of emergency—had not proven very helpful. The person recording her near hysterical version of events had remained quite emotionless and unable to tell Emily, with any certainty, when Dylan would get her message. He had only said that it would be as soon as possible. What the hell did that mean? As soon as possible—what sort of time frame did that involve? What if her father didn’t pull through surgery before Dyl was informed? What if her brother never had the chance to see their Dad alive again? She should have tried harder, been more demanding, insisted on speaking to someone in authority. But she had just been holding it together as it was, reaching a breaking point, not sure she could stand another second of the torment of not knowing.

  The lights and smells of the hospital were making her sick, making her head throb, and even that made her feel guilty. How could she be caring about her own problems when her father was in who knew what condition, what amount of agony? So she continued pacing, her agitation growing with every second.

  * * * *

  It seemed like hours had passed since the doors had closed behind the nurse with a resounding click. He had already decided that he would just break the doors down if he had to wait much longer. He’d envisioned shoulder-charging them as he would an opponent during a game—after all, it was something he was renowned for. Why not make use of that talent when it could aid him in his quest? He needed to make sure his friends would be okay. Or maybe he just needed to be with them.

  When she finally reappeared, Gareth could read nothing in the nurse’s features, nothing that would tell him either way what was happening. He rushed to her.

  “Well, what can you tell me? Is Mac going to be okay? Is his daughter with him?” Gareth fired the questions at the nurse one after the other, not leaving her any time for a response.

  “Mr Mackenzie is already in surgery. They took him straight there on arrival. He actually hasn’t been to ICU yet, but he has been pre-admitted and will be here after the surgery.”

  Gareth was crushed. He had wasted precious time waiting to be told he needed to be somewhere else in the godforsaken maze of the hospital.

  “How do I get there?” he asked, frustration choking the words he spoke.

  “I’ll show you. Calm down. If what you say is true and the patient’s daughter is alone, the last thing she needs is for you to start a riot in the hospital. Your friend is not the only patient here and while I can see you are clearly distraught for the family’s welfare, I need you to calm down. C’mon, Gareth. Follow me. I know a shortcut—staff only access. It will be quicker.”

  Again, Gareth could not fail to acknowledge how correct the nurse was in her assessment. He wasn’t sure if she was helping him because she’d recognised him, or if she was just being helpful and had a good memory for names. Either way, Gareth appreciated the lengths she was going to for him.

  He followed in her silent footsteps, the sound of his heavy boots on the hospital’s hard floor like claps of thunder echoing against the bleak, plain walls of the endless corridors she was leading him along. Then, as he trailed after his guide like some mindless sheep around one more corner, he saw Emily.

  She looked pale and grief-stricken, twisting her fingers through each other as she paced the room like a caged animal. Though it should have been the last thing he noticed, the last thought going through his mind at such a terrible time, Gareth could not stop himself from appreciating her beauty. Her long, black hair was dishevelled, her clothes crumpled, her dirty jeans hugging her like a second skin, and still she was the most breathtaking sight Gareth had ever seen. God, he had missed just looking at her. He stood there like a cement pillar, soaking up the sight, committing the image of her to his memories.

  “Ahem, excuse me—Miss Mackenzie, is it? Sorry to disturb you, but I have a friend of the family who is keen to see you.”

  At first, Gareth could have killed the nurse for making their presence known. He had been so pleased to be able to see Emily in the flesh, forgetting his original purpose, the reason they were all here. Now, due to the nurse alerting Emily to his presence, he was afraid that she might refuse to speak with him, was faced with the only too real possibility that she might send him away again. The thought of it terrified him. If he could just feel her in his arms again, just once more… My God, I’m so fucking in love with her it’s beyond endurance. The thought was like a knife piecing his chest.

  Gareth stood still, holding his breath, unable to resume even the simple task of filling his lungs until he saw her reaction to him being at the hospital, to him being so close. Until she accepted him and the fact he was here with her, for her, and would always be there for her.

  Chapter Four

  When Emily heard her name being called, she assumed it was someone coming to update her on her father’s condition. The last person she expected to see standing there was Gareth Andrews.

  Instinct took over and she found herself in his arms, his steel-strong embrace holding her, his arms wrapped around her, and Emily had never been so grateful, so incredibly thankful for his existence, for Gareth, for that comforting, familiar feel of him as he held her, for the smell of him as she buried her face into his chest. His hard, muscular chest.

  “Gareth!” She sobbed, unable to say more. She was so overcome with emotion, with relief at not being alone anymore.

  “I’m here, Em. Everything will be okay. I’m here.”

  His soothing voice repeated the same words in her ear. The feel of him stroking her back, her hair, did manage to calm her, even though she knew his words were just hopeful, soothing utterances voiced in an attempt to alleviate her fears, her pain. The chance her father would not survive and that everything would not be fine at all was very clear in her mind.

  Emily stood clinging to Gareth for an eternity, soaking up his warmth, letting him hold her to him. She remembered the sensation of safety that being in his embrace had always evoked in her in the past, before the fire. It was like a maelstrom of emotion churned throughout her body, mind and soul. All the memories, the horrific events of the day, the impending sense of doom and her guilt at not being able to do
enough were all overshadowed by this new, powerful emotion that filled her—this all-consuming, overpowering jolt to her already fractured emotions.

  Gareth had come to her when she needed him the most. And Emily needed him—that was the understatement of the century. He, Gareth, had always been the one she turned to. He had saved her from the bullies at school, had soothed her bruises and tended to her grazes when as a small child she had fallen, had talked her through any concerns. He had always protected her, had been her first and only love. Gareth had even pretended not to see, pretended to ignore the ugly disfigurement the fire had delivered to her body and face. And he was here again, even though she had pushed him from her life, had told him she didn’t want him or love him anymore. Lied to him.

  * * * *

  “Em, baby, wake up. The doctor is here.”

  Groggily, Emily shook herself awake, felt the warmth surrounding her, blinked against the harsh florescent hospital lighting. She could not believe that she had fallen asleep on Gareth’s lap, managed to rest while her father fought his battle, but Gareth’s words about the doctor had her struggling to her feet.

  “My dad…?”

  “He’s in recovery, Miss Mackenzie. He lost a lot of blood at the accident site before anyone was able to stabilise him. It put enormous amounts of pressure on his heart, but there was no significant damage as a result. There are just a few things that we will need to monitor closely for the next few days. We also feel confident that we have managed to save his leg. We have reattached the tendons, nerves and blood supply, and are hoping for a positive outcome.”

  Emily nearly crumpled to the floor with relief, Gareth’s grip on her arms all that was holding her upright. The doctor’s comments about blood loss had nearly destroyed her—she was to blame, she knew that. She should have thought of that, should have stemmed the flow before running for help. Thankfully, the doctors had been able to repair the damage she had done, and they’d saved her father.

  “When can Emily see Mac?”

  Yes, she wanted to see her dad. Gareth at least had the presence of mind to be asking the questions she should, Emily thought, once again doubting her own ability to cope with any of the most important concerns. The doctor must think me a fool, she chastised herself.

  “Soon, just as soon as he is settled, but only for a short time. He needs his rest. Once he is in the ICU, you can stay with him longer, and perhaps other visitors can also see him, but you will have to check with ICU staff on that one.”

  “Thanks, doc. I’m sure that they will let us know. They seem pretty up to date with hospital policy.”

  She didn’t understand what Gareth was saying and watched him shake hands with the doctor, then offered her own hand too late for him to notice. It was all just too much. Emily felt as if she was in some nightmare state, unable to make the smallest decision competently. She just needed to see her dad, make sure he was okay, was alive.

  “Won’t be long, Em. Someone will come for you soon and take you to see Mac, so you can see for yourself that he is fine. Come sit back down. You look like you’re about to drop.”

  He was right and Emily managed to find the energy, the willpower to sit back down in the hard, white plastic seat behind her. It was not nearly as comfortable as being on Gareth’s lap, held in his arms. She sat there numbly, waiting again, until the sound of a phone ringing made her jump, startled her with its loudness in the deathly quiet room. The sound was so close and Emily finally realised, as she watched Gareth pull the mobile from his pocket, that it was his phone ringing.

  “Andrews.” His voice was so deep, so hypnotic to her. She could listen to him forever, Emily thought, momentarily distracted from her worries.

  “Sorry, I didn’t realise the time… Yep, I know I should have, but there’s been a family emergency… No, not my folks. It’s Emily. I’m at the hospital with Em… No, not her, her father. A tractor accident… Yeah, flew him in by plane… Last night… Out of surgery, just waiting to go to ICU… No, not today, if that’s okay with Brodie… Yeah, I’ll give him a call. And Pippa? Thanks. You will be the first person I call. Promise… Yeah, love you too.”

  The one-sided conversation was pretty easy for Emily to follow. Between what Gareth was saying and the extended silences where the caller was obviously speaking, it was clear to her that Gareth had missed being somewhere, probably training, because of her. But it was the last three words of his conversation that stung, ripped her heart from her chest. Caused such unimaginable pain she thought she would scream from it. She had heard correctly, there was no doubt about what he had said.

  ‘Love you too’.

  And Emily had also heard the name of the person Gareth had been speaking to. A female name—Pippa.

  Gareth had told another female that he loved her, and he had done it right in front of Emily. He had told this Pippa person that he loved her.

  Emily didn’t have a chance to question Gareth about his phone call, because just as he disconnected from it the nurse came to take her to her father.

  Chapter Five

  Gareth had completely forgotten about training until Pippa had called, and honestly, he wouldn’t have left Emily even if he had remembered. He was more than likely facing some sort of disciplinary action, probably a fine, but he didn’t care. Any fine would be worth it. Hearing Mac was going to be fine had been such a relief, and just the memory of Emily in his arms, the feel of her in his lap as he’d watched her sleep, was worth any monetary fine coming his way. Gareth was amazed that even with his continued tormented memories of Emily, he had forgotten how good it was to hold her, how perfect she felt and how just having her in his arms brought him such peace. Even with the unsettling events unfolding around them.

  The relief on Emily’s face had been unmistakeable at the doctor’s assurances that Mac would pull through the surgery, and even though she had still looked a little shell-shocked and upset as the nurse took her in to see her father, Gareth was sure that just the sight of Mac would settle her fears. Waiting was such a hard task, and imagining the worst was easy to do. Gareth had started to feel a bit panicked at the length of time Mac had been in surgery, as well. The man had been like an uncle to him, and the thought of Emily losing her father was just impossible to imagine. Emily…alone.

  I wonder if Dylan knows. Gareth pondered the question for a while, but with no answer. He didn’t have Emily’s brother’s contact details, had not seen Dylan Mackenzie in over a year. The last time had been at a Jets game, when Dyl had contacted him to hook him and a few of his army buddies up with tickets to the game. Their conversation had been tense back then. Neither of them had wanted to mention Emily, or the fact Gareth had left her at home while he had headed off to the city. Dyl had probably had his own guilt at leaving the family to run the farm alone.

  It had been a rough couple of years for the Mackenzies, what with Emily’s mum passing away suddenly. An aneurism or something had just exploded in Sally Mackenzie’s brain, and she had fallen dead to the floor in the middle of the family kitchen—no warning, just dead. It had been, at the time, the worst moment of Gareth’s life. Emily had been shattered, as could be expected, and she had turned to him in her time of grief. He’d been so helpless, unable to make her better. He had only been able to hold her and console her, just as he had done tonight.

  He made a few calls while he was waiting for Emily to return. He rang Brodie and apologised for his no-show at training, explaining the situation to his sympathetic coach. Brodie had given Gareth a few days leave from the training paddock, but wanted his assurance that Gareth would be available for the next game. Thankfully, that was not until Sunday afternoon and was a home game, so there’d be no travelling. That gave Gareth the rest of the week to care for Emily and Mac.

  Gareth also rang his mum to update her on Mac’s condition, repeating what the doctor had told him. He could hear the weariness in his mother’s voice—the worry was taking its toll on everyone. She promised to try to find Dylan Mackenzie�
�s contact number for him, not able to confirm either way if Emily’s brother had been informed of his father’s accident.

  Gareth tried to think of all the details that might need to be taken care of so he could assist Emily in any way. All the while, he waited for her to reappear through the doors the nurse had led her past. Quite a length of time had gone by since Emily had left to check on her father, and Gareth was beginning to worry that Mac might have taken a turn for the worse.

  Hospitals truly sucked—the smell, the sense of helplessness… Even when he’d visited the sick kids in the children’s hospital, Gareth had always felt uncomfortable, and even sorrier for the poor tykes forced to remain when he left. The colourful bedding and the decorations on the walls of the kids’ wards still failed to cover up the fact that hospitals sucked.

  Just when Gareth had made the decision to go looking for Emily again, the doors swung open and she came staggering back to him, her face deathly pale. But she didn’t come back into his arms. Emily stopped a few feet from him, her shoulders drooping, weariness etched in her pale face, the scarred tissue that marred one side of her cheek and neck. The pink and brownish, damaged skin was more prominent than usual. There were dark shadows under her eyes, and her fidgeting and reluctance to meet his gaze alerted him that something was wrong.

  “Em, what is it? What’s wrong? Did you see your Dad? You were gone so long I started to get worried. Is Mac okay?” He reached for her, but she pulled away before he could touch her.

  “Dad’s asleep, tubes and wires jutting out of him everyplace. I was too afraid to touch him. They’re moving him to ICU now, said to give them ten minutes to get him settled. You didn’t need to stay, Gareth. I thought you might have gone already—just came back to get my jacket. I left it on the chair over there.”