She shakes her head. “My husband isn’t here, and even if he were, I’d still be out tonight having a good time. It was the past, Brant. We all have one. What gives you the right to think you can dictate who I’m friends with? Do me a favor and back off. I just got back to town. I at least thought you’d wait a couple months before harassing me. I spent every single summer in this town, way before you and I were a thing. I’m sure I can make a name for myself in other ways than having briefly dated a Wallace boy, and furthermore, if harassing and stalking me is the only thing you have to do with your time maybe you should look into seeing a shrink.”
It’s a kick to the balls. She’s told me where to go, and before I dig any deeper, I need to back away and let her be. I throw up my hands. “Okay. I get it. You think I’m out of line.”
“I think you’re a selfish asshole who hasn’t changed a bit. Don’t let me see your truck outside of my home and business again, Brant, or the next thing this town will be gossiping about is your habit of stalking innocent women.”
This strong woman knows where to sock it to me. As hurt as I feel over the way she’s treating me, a small part of me feels proud that she’s able to handle herself. It’s not like I want to be with her. I’m in a happy place with Leigh. We’re building a real adult future together. I suppose Jamie coming back has stirred up some ill feelings I thought I could resolve. She’s made it clear it’s not possible. It’s time to back off and do my best to stay out of her way.
“I’m sorry. I was only attempting to be a good person. It wasn’t about me, but I get why you feel the way you do. Have a good night with your friend, Jamie. Do me a favor and tell my brothers I said goodnight.”
Leaving is my only option. I don’t want to see that smile anymore. I can’t stand to know she’s laughing and happy while I’m still burdened by lies and deceit when it comes to her and how I ended things. You can’t even take back that kind of pain.
My stomach knots up as I pull out of the parking lot and head home. By the time I realize I’ve driven to Oyster Cove instead of the apartment I share with Leigh, I concede to staying there. It’s always going to be home for me. For some reason it makes me feel close to my mom. It’s the only place I can go and find peace. It’s not like Leigh plans on coming home this weekend. I’d rather have the company of my siblings then to sit in a apartment alone dwelling on my past sins.
Chapter 7
Jamie
I wake to a pounding in my head that feels like the walls are closing in on me. After taking a survey of the room I gather I made it home in one piece. Checking the bed beside me I find an empty spot and feel thankful I didn’t let the alcohol make bad choices for me, especially when I was holding a grudge toward Brant.
I should hate him. I’m doing the right thing. The past shouldn’t have to haunt me. It’s not fair. Returning to the island wasn’t his golden ticket to hunt me down and make peace. I don’t want peace. I want him to leave me alone so we can both live without the added stress of what could have been or what should have never happened.
I was a naïve teenage girl who fell hard for local country boy. He was the first guy I ever had feelings for so they came fast without warning. I think I knew I loved him, or at least felt like I did in the first week of knowing him. Back then I thought Brant was charming, handsome, and the kind of guy I’d love to call my boyfriend. He made that happen, and for several months we were inseparable. Leaving the island in the fall was like being stripped of my own skin. I cried for weeks on end, desperate to keep in touch with a guy who couldn’t care less about the young girl he’d spent months getting to know. He was too busy with school, and being socially popular to hold onto hope that we could have something real. I feared seeing him that summer, but on the second day he showed up at the veterinary hospital with flowers. I gave him my virginity that night. Back then I thought we had a real connection, up until I learned I was one of many. I’m not sure how long he was going to carry on the relationship with me from afar. I guess I’ll never know that answer, because the moment his mother fell ill and passed away everything changed. He shut me out. He pushed me away, finally coming clean about his actions to ensure I’d never want to see his face again.
It worked.
I didn’t return the following summer. I couldn’t. Knowing I’d run into him made the pain return. I was crippled by betrayal and false hope. I spent that summer at the beach with my parents, but I rarely left the condo. My once bronzed skin was pale. I knew an hour drive would take me to Brant, but couldn’t find a good enough reason to seek out the man who’d caused me so much pain.
For a while I hated him. It was the only way to cope. He stole my virginity. That’s how I looked at it. He turned that beautiful night on the beach, the very first time someone touched me in that way; into a nightmare I wished I didn’t have to think about. He’d twisted my perfect memories and turned them into a loathing reminder of my inability to see the truth as it was unfolding. He made me think he cared about me, but it was all a lie. Brant never cared about anyone but himself, which is why I’m having a hard time swallowing that he wants to make amends with me. It’s been years. I’ve graduated college, started a career, and even married. Why torture me? I willingly gave him what he wanted and he tossed me to the curb. Does he want a second go at ripping my heart out, because it’s never going to happen. Never again.
I sit up in the bed and wipe my eyes, staring at a room I’d never thought I would call my own. This used to be where my aunt and uncle slept. The furniture is new, as well as the décor. I’ve used bright and cheerful colors to make the old home seem refreshed. The nightstand beside me is a representation of my failed attempts at refinishing wood. I’ll never attempt that again. After spraying it with varnish stripper, and accidentally leaving it overnight, a sticky residue became impossible to get off. I sanded until my arms wouldn’t function, but the gook remained. After scraping the majority of sticky goo from it, I spray painted it black and called it a day. It’s lumpy and hideous. It probably belongs in the trashcan, but I’m too proud to toss it. Besides, it’s not like I have a ton of money right now. The attorney fees are killing me. I thought there would be a cordial end to my marriage given the circumstances behind the sudden divorce, but that’s not how it’s come to be. My ex is going around telling everyone I left him. He’s a lying monster, who probably puts someone like Brant to shame. I’d gladly give my virginity in place of what it feels like to find out the person I married was a living breathing cesspool of lies and hate. He has everyone brainwashed. I’m the bad guy who left her loving husband after we lost our baby. They don’t want to hear the truth. No one will listen, not even my own parents. He went to them first, explaining his side of the story; the false fabrication tale they still believe. Once he had them in his corner I knew I was never going to be able to convince anyone else he was wrong.
Moving to the island felt like the only thing I had left. My uncle had been badgering me for some time to take over his practice. He still holds the deed and business license, and will continue to earn a cut of the profits from the business. It’s part of the agreement, his retirement plan. I’m okay with it. Being the only vet for miles ensures I’ll always be busy. Plus he’d already landed the spot on Assateague for the state, so I knew that contract would enable me to make almost double.
The job keeps me busy. I’m always running around taking care of animals. If I had the time I’d start filling the house with them. It would be nice to wake up to a companion who loves me unconditionally. This is what my life has resorted to.
I’ll probably never be a mother. My marriage is over. I’m alone. All I have left is the practice. It’s the only thing keeping me sane.
That’s why I agreed to go out with Avery. I needed reprieve. We were having a splendid time up until the Wallace clan made an appearance. Low and behold I find out they own the joint. If it were up to me I would have left before being spotted, but I didn’t want to give Avery a reason to stick her nos
e into my past like I know she would. Being approached by Brant’s brothers was a bit disturbing. I kept my composure and played along for Avery’s benefit. She seemed to be smitten over them, and eventually I learned she’d had her eyes on them for years. She’s young and determined, so even the best advice won’t sway her from making a mistake. Besides, I’m pretty sure she’s sexually active. She’s mentioned getting some application on my phone where I swipe left or right for hook-ups. To me that sounds preposterous. There is too much bad in the world to be meeting complete strangers for a booty call. I’m not that desperate, at least not yet. Granted, give it a few years and I might change my mind. For now I’ll be happy with a cat.
Normally the practice isn’t open, unless there are emergencies, like a pregnant English Bulldog in distress. The call comes as soon as I pour my first cup of coffee. After hurrying to dress in proper attire, I rush next door to prep for their arrival. This particular breed often has trouble conceiving and delivering pups. I know I’m going to have to perform a C-section to deliver them. We’ve planned for this, but they’re a couple days early. Sometimes this happens. The mom goes into labor when it’s unexpected. It’s my job to always be prepared. Like a surgeon on call, my job never ends.
It’s amazing how a serious procedure can keep my mind off things. I remain focused as I work on the canine, ensuring she gets the necessary care. Avery isn’t here to help, but I manage once I have her sedated. The clocks ticks as I extract the first baby from her belly, but unfortunately it’s stillborn. The second is also dead at the time of delivery, but the third pup comes out massive in size. It’s obvious when in the womb he took all the nourishment from the other two. A litter of three and only one survived. It makes me sad. This poor mom went through such intense situations to deliver one puppy. There’s no way she could have handled it naturally. He’s too big. Weighing almost a full pound, my eyes feel like they’re deceiving me. Once I get him cleaned up, I quickly work to ensure the mom is sewn and finally able to rest.
I watch the owners look in on the two, and am reminded of what I’ve lost. To have a child growing inside of me was the happiest memory I have in all my life. I wanted to be a mother, to raise a couple kids with a loving and supportive husband. Isn’t that what everyone wants?
Some vets allow the owners to take the dogs’ home after surgery, while I prefer to keep a watch on my patients in case of an emergency situation. It’s tough carrying sixty pounds into my house, so I ask my neighbor if he’ll assist.
Jay is in his seventies. He lost his wife almost ten years ago, and has been living in his big Victorian home alone since. Sometimes I take him dishes of dinner, because I swear he doesn’t know how to cook. He’s asked me several times to help him change the channel so he can watch VHS tapes. Yes. He still has a VCR.
When Jay and I get the crate with the special patients inside, he looks around with his hands going straight into his pockets. He’s bald on the top of his head, but keeps the sides pretty long so he can comb them over the top. The wind from the walk has blown it all to one side, and it’s sticking out everywhere. I have to look away to keep from giggling.
“Quite a lot has changed in here, huh?”
I’m proud of what I’ve been able to do since making the place my own. “A couple cans of paint and some second hand furniture. Do you like it?”
“It’s a bit too modern for my taste. I like my furniture aged, just like my women,” he teases.
I join him in a bout of laughter. “Thanks for your help. I should have asked the dog owner, but I still had to clean up from the procedure.”
He motions with his hands. “It’s not a problem. I’ve still got some muscle left in me. Hopefully the ladies at the VFW will take notice soon. I’m tired of wearing short sleeve shirts just so I can flex for their amusement.”
I can tell he’s lonely. I get it. What I wish I knew was the love he shared with his wife for nearly fifty years of marriage. That’s the kind of love I wanted. Maybe some of us aren’t lucky enough to experience it.
“You owe me a kiss, missy.”
I’ve known this man my whole life, so I get on my toes and reach up, kissing his cheek as a thank you. “There ya go. Paid in full.”
“That’s the most action I’ve seen since the war.”
I laugh again. He’s such a funny character. I wonder how long he went before he was able to carry on normally. I’m sure there was a time of mourning where he wanted to give up too. I suppose I have a heavy heart when it comes to love in general. When we’re young we see it as a goal, but as we learn and experience it firsthand, it’s misconstrued. Love sucks. I’m over it.
Chapter 8
Brant
What I need is a mulligan, though I know it’s not possible. I’ve made a fool out of myself. A week has passed since the confrontation at the bar, and my brothers haven’t let me live it down. What’s even worse, apparently Leigh is friends with Jamie’s vet tech Avery. They went to lunch and she asked my fiancé if she knew my old girlfriend was back in town. Now I’m sitting at the dinner table across from her, and by the look on her face I can tell I’m not getting out of this without explaining.
“Why didn’t you tell me about her?”
I shrug; taking a bite of food like this isn’t difficult. “I don’t know. It was a long time ago. We were just kids. There’s nothing else to it.”
“Nothing else? Avery said you were sitting outside of the animal hospital in your truck one day watching. Then she said you gave her boss a hard time about talking to guys at the bar.”
“You’re making it sound a lot worse than it was. Coop was trying to mess with her. I was simply looking out for her. She’s married.”
“And the stalking?”
“It wasn’t stalking. Seeing her again surprised me. I was freaking out about Brimley. I was going to go inside, but changed my mind. They made it seem like I was spying on them for a while. It was a few minutes while I contemplated checking on the dog.”
She crosses her arms, ignoring the food on her plate that’s now cold. “Avery said her boss isn’t married.”
“Well one of us has been misinformed then. It doesn’t matter anyway. We’re different people now. She means nothing to me.” The moment I say it I feel like I’m shoving my foot down my throat. I don’t want to harbor feelings for Jamie, especially after all these years, but seeing her again and knowing she thinks I’m an asshole only makes it harder to swallow. I want to make things right. I’m not saying I want to rekindle a relationship with her. I need her forgiveness.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I’m positive. She was someone I screwed back in high school. That’s all. It was weird seeing her again. She’s never been a local. I thought it would be nice to catch up, welcome her to the island, but instead I got blamed for stalking and shit. I’m over it. I haven’t seen her since that night, and I’m not planning to go looking either.”
“I want to trust you, Brant. We’ve been together for a while now, and when you asked me to marry you my friends said I couldn’t trust a Wallace boy. You’ve only ever been loyal to your family, and I love that about you. I just don’t want to get hurt. So if you still have unresolved feelings for her I want you to tell me.”
“Nothing to tell. I love you. End of story, babe.”
“Prove it.”
I shake my head. “How the hell am I supposed to do that? I’m with you. We live together. I’m engaged to you.”
I can see her body language finally relax after reminding her of my commitment. “I guess it doesn’t matter. I didn’t plan on staying in this town for long anyway. All the more reason to move away with me. While I was away this weekend I started looking online. I found a house I’d like us to go look at. It’s in Snow Hill. We could both commute easily.”
I don’t want to move, but Leigh isn’t going to give up. “Leigh, I told you I needed time. My job is here, and unlike you, I have to wake up before daybreak. Living off the island makes that
difficult.”
“Please. I want us to have a future together, but I’m never going to find work in this little town. We have to compromise.”
I sigh. I’m not going to win this fight. Top it off with her question if she can trust me and I’m shit out of luck. I have to do this for her, or at least make her feel like I will. “I’ll look at it, if it’s really what you want.”
“It is.”
“Just make the appointment for the evening so it doesn’t mess with my work schedule.”
She stands, coming around the table to hug and kiss me with thanks. “You will love this place, babe. I’m so excited.”
“Yeah,” I lie. “Me too.”
Leigh gives me directions to the house we’re supposed to look at. Since she only has a part time job, we're going to rely mostly on my income to pay the bills. That's okay by me. My mom stayed home to take care of the house and us kids. My dad preferred it that way. He'd worked extra jobs so she'd never have to go out looking for something. Leigh and I rarely talk about kids, but I know we’d both eventually want them. I'm turning thirty. It's time I thought about our future, being parents and owning a home. I just wish it was closer to the island. Snow Hill is only about thirty minutes away. It's not as bad as living in Salisbury, which would be an hour commute, but to be fair Leigh has been making it for over a year now.
I meet her at the address, stepping out of the truck before getting a good look at the place. It’s a two story colonial with peeling paint on the exterior siding. The roof has a few shingles missing, which may mean there is damage to the structure. Aside from the house, the landscaping is out of control. Someone has come and mowed the grass, but everything else is overgrown.
“Isn’t it cute?”
Half Shelled Heart (Oyster Cove, #2) Page 5