Shades of Amber

by Morgan Smith

  But you will never understand

  How hard it’s been

  To play pretend.

  To act like I

  Don’t know that I

  Am living on this borrowed time.

  But something sweet beats in the dark,

  Tempting fate with all its heart.

  -Troy

  Chapter 15

  …Troy…

  My fist unclenched as I opened the door to a small woman with greying hair.

  “You have a call in the library.” Miss Maggie’s voice was as soft and gentle as her appearance, which hadn’t changed much since I was a toddler.

  I sighed. “Regarding?”

  “They wouldn’t say.”

  “I’ll be there in a moment.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  I slammed the door and went back to Jade.

  “You don’t have a phone in here?” she asked as I pulled her onto my lap.

  “I don’t like distractions.”

  If Miss Maggie had arrived a few minutes later, I could’ve had my talk with Jade, and we’d be one step closer to moving forward.

  Sensing the pin in our conversation, Jade kissed my cheek and got to her feet. “Come on, your call is waiting.”

  I grabbed her hand as she raced toward the exit. “You don’t know where you’re going.”

  “I can’t believe I’m saying this--” She held up her wrists and tugged at imaginary handcuffs. “Take me to my cell, I need some space.”

  I smirked. “Come on, the call will only take a minute.”

  After two attempts, she finally allowed me to take her hand. Somehow, Jade remained quiet as we passed through the halls and down a flight of stairs.

  It would’ve been more polite to ask what she was thinking, but I picked her thoughts instead.

  Jade was a tornado of emotion—anger, irritation, joy, with a tinge of lust.

  Unfortunately, we reached the library before I could comment. I opened the door to a spacious room with floor to ceiling shelves.

  Her lips curved up when she saw the couches and chairs around the fireplace.

  “Help yourself.”

  She hugged a leather book to her chest and wandered toward the sitting area as I picked up the phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Troy? You need to get down here. There’s a six-foot hole in the bow.”

  “My Father can handle it.”

  “He won’t be back for weeks.” Milton’s voice rose. “The coastguard wants you here while they conduct an investigation.”

  “Now is not a good time.” I managed to sound menacing, even though the sight of Jade draped over my favorite chair stole my attention.

  “It looks like sabotage.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  The longer he stayed silent, the angrier I became.

  “Fine, I’ll be there shortly.”

  I slammed the phone on the cradle.

  Sabotage. I didn’t want to leave Jade alone, but she’d probably get into more trouble if I brought her.

  I bent down, tracing her collarbone with my index finger. “Hear anything interesting?”

  “Hmm?” Her radiant brown eyes landed on my face.

  I set the book on the coffee table and took her hand. “Since when do you speak Latin?”

  “High school. She exhaled. “Where are you going?”

  “I have to take care of something for my father.”

  She looked away, but I caught the hint of her smile.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll be back before you get into anything.” I stood up, enjoying the way she inhaled when I stretched.

  “You can take your time.”

  “Can’t wait for me to go, can you, cher?” I offered my hand, yanking her against my chest when she hesitated. “We’ll have to work on your trust issues.” I guided her to the door, knowing that the sooner I left, the sooner I could return to my feisty beauty.

  Other than a muttered “bite me,” she didn’t acknowledge me until we were in her room.

  “You are the worst!” Jade said as I hugged her and strode toward the door. “Wait! Are you going to lock me in?”

  I rested my back against the wall as she fidgeted. “No, not this time, so be good.”

  ¤¤¤¤

  Outsider

  Waiting,

  Watching,

  Looking in,

  Seeing all that

  could have been.

  When I look at

  how things are,

  I wonder how

  this life occurred.

  I take a

  CHANCE

  to wonder if

  This life I live

  is worth the risk.

  Chapter 16

  Jade

  There was so much to think about, but someone knocked before I could lay all my thoughts on the table. I rose from my vanity and opened the door.

  Miss Maggie smiled. “Good evening.”

  “Good evening.”

  “A letter came for you.” The matronly woman produced a white envelope with my name printed in bold font.

  I studied it front and back. “Who’s it from?”

  She shrugged. “It came through the mail slot.”

  “Oh.” I opened the envelope and examined the white piece of copy paper.

  HE IS NOT WHO YOU THINK HE IS.

  GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!

  The note fell to the floor as I rubbed my hands down my face.

  “What’s wrong?” Miss Maggie squeezed my shoulder.

  “Are you absolutely sure you don’t know who left it?”

  She nodded. “What did it say?”

  Fear gripped me as I looked around the room. I needed the slippers from yesterday; better yet, my sneakers. Running to the closet, I dug around, resolved to put on whatever I could find.

  “Come on,” I muttered as I tossed sheets and clothing over my shoulder.

  Bingo!

  I sat on the couch once I found my sneakers and purse. Everything was there except my phone, which must’ve still been in the car. “I have to leave.”

  Miss Maggie sat next to me and held my left shoe as I worked on the right. “If you leave, he’ll be extremely upset.”

  I took a deep breath and tried not to take my anger and fear out on her. It was difficult.

  “Do you know what he is?”

  She folded her hands in her apron. “No, Miss. What is he?”

  I sighed and ran my hand over my wild curls. “I don’t know, but that note says I would be stupid to stick around.”

  Her grey eyes sought mine. “Don’t you love him?”

  “I did love him… once. But I don’t know who he is anymore and I can’t make myself pick up where we left off two years ago.”

  She touched my hand. “Where will you go?”

  “I’ll go home. What city are we in?”

  She looked surprised. “New Orleans.”

  That meant I was almost 500 miles from home.

  “Yes, Troy was born and raised here, left for college, and moved back a couple of years ago—been here off and on since then.”

  “He’s only 23, isn’t he?”

  “Oh, yes, still young, that one.”

  I was still young, too. I loved Troy, but I didn’t want to know how much of him had stayed the same. That letter told me to get out and my gut said I should listen.

  “Will you please help me get out of here?”

  She shook her head. “I can’t, Miss Jade.”

  I took her wrinkled hand in both of mine. “Please, please! Could you call me a cab?”

  She exhaled. “Alright.”

  We took the maze of hallways and stairs in silence. Once we reached the foyer, I approached the front door with small steps as she used the phone a few feet away.

  “The cab will be here in a few minutes,” she said, dusting around the cordless handset.

  I smiled and paced the floor.

  Could I leave him? Yes, I could. This was my life
and I would do a better job of living it, as well as dodging him.

  My gaze sought hers when a horn blew. “Thanks for your help.” I went to the porch and leaned back inside. “Tell him you don’t know what happened.”

  She tried to smile. “He won’t believe that.”

  I paused with my hand on the door. “I almost forgot to ask, where are his parents?”

  “They flew to Paris for a bit.”

  “That must be nice. Thank you again.” I waved and hurried toward the cab.

  ¤¤¤¤

  …Troy…

  The sky was black as I paced back and forth across the dock. Out of the three workers, six coastguards, my father’s friend Milton, and myself—we still had absolutely no explanation for the seven-foot gash that stretched from the bow to the lower deck.

  That was how I’d spent the last hour and a half. I needed to get back to Jade for several reasons: the top two being that she was alone and mischievous, the third because I just wanted to hold her in my arms.

  I should have locked her in.

  “I’m out. Let me know when you find something,” I yelled as I stormed toward the parking lot.

  A sense of pride swept through me as I sped toward the imposing structure that was my childhood home. Soaring at four stories, it bested our tallest tree and submerged the yard in shadow during the day.

  Jumping out of the car, I hurried up the front steps, anxiety eating away at me. I wouldn’t be able to calm down until I saw her for myself, then everything would be alright. I paused at the front door as pain shot up my right arm. Beneath the porch light, blood dripped from my fist. I opened my hand and saw the imprint of the key.

  After cleaning up with a handkerchief, I turned the key in the lock and shoved my way in. The house was silent once the faucet cut off. I closed the door, smiling when Miss Maggie came out of the kitchen to greet me.

  We exchanged pleasantries and then I raced upstairs to find Jade. I paused outside her door and caught my breath. Something was different.

  My blood boiled as I assessed the empty room. I didn’t have to cross the threshold; I could feel that she was gone. A piece of paper caught my eye as I turned to leave. Anger pulsed through me when I snatched the note from the carpet. I read it twice on the way to the main floor.

  As my shoe hit the last step, I couldn’t help but laugh. My quarry was nowhere in sight. I listened for movement and headed for the den, watching in silence as she dusted the silver candelabra.

  “Where is Jade?”

  Miss Maggie jumped at the sound of my voice, dropping her feather duster. “Isn’t she in her room?”

  “No, she isn’t,” I said as I placed the duster on the mantle. “Did you give her this?”

  She looked down in an attempt to avoid my gaze.

  “Don’t be afraid to tell me where she went. It’s dangerous, I don’t want her running around alone.”

  Worry lined her face at my comment. Sometimes, she was too motherly for her own good.

  “Tell me where she is.”

  She shook her head and crossed herself. “She does not want to be with you. She’s afraid of you.”

  “And she has a reason to be according to this!” I yelled, waving the paper. “Where did it come from?”

  The housekeeper straightened her posture and looked me in the eye. “I found it in the mail slot. No return address. Are you saying the note was all fiction?”

  I sighed and looked at my watch. “It may not be fiction, but it means that someone followed us here and has set out to keep us apart. Jade could be in danger as we speak! Please, tell me where she went.”

  She smoothed her apron. “Jade went home, sir. She took a taxi.”

  “Thanks,” I called as I dashed out to pack some clothes. I bristled with anger and concern as I slammed the trunk and sped toward the highway.

  She was an hour ahead.

  ¤¤¤¤

  Denial

  What is it you think

  I’ve become?

  To call me a thing

  instead of a person.

  If you prick me…

  do I not bleed?

  You are so feisty…

  So exhilarating,

  but your denial is

  unnecessary.

  For you know

  as well as I,

  That our love is

  the forever kind.

  You are mine

  And I am yours.

  There’s no escaping

  from this storm.

  Your fear fuels

  my desire

  As amber flames dance

  in the fire.

  -Troy

  Chapter 17

  Jade

  “Welcome to Chattanooga.”

  It had been a long, unbearable ride, but I was finally home; thanks to my very nice and understanding cab driver who only needed two pit stops on our seven our trip.

  Our eyes met in the rearview mirror as the older woman asked for the address. I recited the “1624 Wishing Well Lane” I had scribbled on a napkin. It wasn’t home exactly, but at least Kayla would be waiting for me. Hers was one of the only numbers I knew by heart, and she’d insisted I crash at her place when I called from a rest stop in Alabama.

  A weight evaporated from shoulders when her building came into view. I’d visited several times, but the large stone facade still reminded me of an enchanted castle. I set my purse in my lap and dug through my wallet. I’d have to cancel my phone and get another one before Troy intercepted too many calls.

  What other option did I have? I couldn’t just call him up and ask for it back.

  Once I reached the front door, my weariness set in as I mashed the button by her name. Kayla buzzed me in by the third ring and greeted me as soon as I made it up the two flights of stairs.

  She smiled, but I could see how worried she was. “Thank goodness you’re alright!” she said, hugging me tight.

  “I’m fine,” I said as she let go abruptly. “What’s wrong?”

  She looked left and right, pulled me inside, and bolted the door. “He could be out there somewhere!”

  I shook my head and studied her cozy apartment. “No, I’m pretty sure I’d know if he was here.”

  She pushed me toward the kitchen. “Want something to eat or drink? He held you captive. Are you gonna call the cops?”

  “No, I should be good now. He wouldn’t expect me to stay here.” Kayla and I were friends, but she worked a lot and rarely got to hang out. Her sanctuary was bright and fun. All the walls were blue and each room had a beach theme.

  We were sitting on her baby blue couch watching Pretty Little Liars when she muted the commercial and looked at me. “What if he comes back for you?”

  “If he comes back, I’ll tell him that we can’t be together.”

  “Earth to Jade! He already came back for you once! Are you really going to risk going home by yourself?”

  “Look, I’ll hide for a few days, and if nothing happens, I’ll get back to my life, okay?”

  She turned the sound up just in time. “Fine, but you’d better not disappear like Alison does in this TV show!”

  “No worries there, he doesn’t want to hurt me; he just thinks I’m lying to myself about how I feel about him.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “Are you?”

  I shrugged. “Maybe.”

  We sat back and watched “A.” haunt Alison’s friends through text messages. I tried to focus on figuring out who “A.” was, but found myself thinking about “T.”

  What was I going to do about Troy? He was right, I was his, and he was all I thought about, but I wasn’t ready to give in.

  I couldn’t.

  ¤¤¤¤

  …Troy…

  The stars twinkled as I paced beneath the balcony. I’d been waiting for a glimpse of Jade since the sun went down.

  Whoever sent that note must have caused the damage to my father’s boat, but why? In order to give Jade a chance to escape? No, it
had to be more than that.

  I closed my eyes, and focused on the sound of her steady breathing. Listening to her thoughts was something I’d grown accustomed to. They were complex and sporadic.

  As I lingered in the shadows, I tried to imagine exactly what she was doing. I’d waited a long time for her to confess her feelings, so it was a complete shock when her friend dragged it out of her. I wanted Jade to tell me how she felt, but perhaps, I was pushing too hard. When she let me in, it lowered her defenses whether she realized it or not. She’d see once I slowed my pursuit.

  My lips twitched.

  Who knew what would happen when we found ourselves together again.

  ¤¤¤¤

  Jade

  After a few days at Kayla’s, I decided to move on with my life and go back to school. The week flew by before I knew it, and since I hadn’t seen Troy, I agreed to take my friends up on their invitation to our book club.

  Java Mama’s was a welcome sight. I smiled as I inhaled the energizing smell of fresh coffee. It danced in the air, like a candle flame. I walked through the tan curtain, smiling when I saw ten girls gathered on the plush couches and chairs in the sitting area. Everyone grinned as I sat down.

  Amelia leaned toward the edge of her chair and patted my hand. “I’m so glad you’re back! We thought we’d lost you for good!”

  I smiled and leaned toward Faith. “I know it wasn’t your fault,” I said as the waitress set down two trays with a variety of pastries.

  Shante looked up from her Caramel Macchiato. “So let’s skip the book discussion and hear about your time in the Bayou!” The other girls grinned and cheered, but I couldn’t smile back. I felt like I was being watched, and it chilled me to the core.

  After glancing around the room, I shuddered at the thought of Troy having tracked me down, but then, I did go right back to my routine. A part of me ached to see him. Some nights, I’d even woken up, wishing he’d climb through my window, but he didn’t, and the sane part of me was beyond relieved.