Patchwork Dreams

by Laura Hilton

  “So, Bex, are they having a singing tomorrow night?” He didn’t clarify who “they” were, maybe figuring she would know. And he’d called her Bex in front of her family. What did they think about that?

  Becky knew whom he meant by “they.” But if he wanted to know who would be hosting it, she didn’t know that. She hadn’t been to youth functions since before….

  She wouldn’t go there. Not mentally, and certainly not physically.

  Just at that moment, Ruthie passed the bicolor sweet corn. Did Becky read pity in her sister’s eyes? Becky glared at her. What would an eleven-year-old know about life?

  She stabbed the serving spoon into the bowl of corn. Thankfully, it seemed everyone else at the table was ignoring the conversation that Jacob had initiated. Except maybe Daed. He wore that knowing expression. The one he’d put on when he’d come into the kitchen the day Jacob had arrived. The one that said he knew a secret.

  Becky passed the corn on to Abbie and accepted the mashed potatoes, all without answering Jacob. As if the question would go away if she ignored it long enough.

  She caught a look from her mother as she passed the potatoes on to Abbie—the one that Mamm wore to say silently that rudeness would not be tolerated.

  Becky knew that her mother was right. But really, this stranger was going down roads she didn’t want to travel. And he was taking her with him.

  That didn’t change things. And Mamm’s expression promised Becky an earful along with a tongue-lashing if she didn’t answer, and quickly. Becky acquiesced, with only the briefest of glances at Jacob. “I haven’t been to a singing for a long time. I’m sure they’ll be having them. I can find out tomorrow.” Since tomorrow would be a non-church Sunday, they would visit family around the area. Even if no one asked Becky to join the singing, she knew they would ask Jacob.

  He was, as the Englisch girls say, hot.

  Becky’s face heated just thinking that word.

  But she wasn’t blind. Just—unwanted.

  Poison.

  ***

  Last night’s letter to sweet Susie lay crumpled in Jacob’s back pocket. He needed to run it to the mailbox right quick. After all, she needed to know his address. And he wanted to beg her to give up her music so they could be together. Not that the music would stop Jacob. But it would make a difference whether Daed accepted her. Whether they would wed with his blessing, or with Jacob ending up being shunned. Besides, there was the rather large issue of the Ordnung not allowing instruments. And he didn’t want to leave the Amish church. Though he would, for Susie.

  A wave of homesickness hit. He yearned for the scent of apple blossoms, though it would be early for that, as he worked with his brothers and Daed in the apple orchard. Yearned to enjoy the same orchard later that night as he strolled with Susie. He needed to get home, sooner rather than later.

  At the end of the meal, Jacob and Daniel each had a second cup of coffee and another serving of blueberry cobbler. While they ate, Jacob watched Becky move alongside her sisters as they made quick work of the dishes. Comparing her with Susie. He studied the brightness of her blonde hair under her white kapp and the sway of her reddish-colored skirt as she moved around. The trimness of her ankles when her skirt shifted enough for them to come into view. The curve of her neck.

  The two women were so different.

  After she finished, she grabbed a coat from the closet and pulled it on, then lifted her boppli out of the cradle, wrapped her in a thick pink blanket, and placed her into a sling. “I’m going over to Annie’s now.”

  Already started on her baking, her mother raised a hand in acknowledgment.

  “Ready to get to work, Jacob?” Daniel pushed his chair back with a smirk. Unsaid but implied was, “Since you won’t have anything to watch in here.”

  Jacob shot Daniel a look that his daed would have considered disrespectful, and his face warmed as he stood. “Jah. Let me run this out to the mailbox first.” He pulled the letter from his pocket. But whether he needed to remind Daniel or himself that he had a girlfriend, he couldn’t have said.

  Jacob bolted out the door after Becky, leaving Daniel and his frau to come to whatever conclusion they would.

  “Bex! Wait up.”

  He slipped a little on the ice as he scampered after her, catching up halfway down the driveway. She had turned with eyebrows raised, shifted the sling holding the boppli, and watched him approach.

  “I need to mail a letter.”

  One eyebrow quirked higher. “The mailbox is right there.” She pointed toward the black box not even a hundred feet away.

  “Jah. Danki.” Even without looking, Jacob knew where it sat.

  She turned to go, but he grabbed her elbow, stopping her. He didn’t let go, even when unexpected sparks shot up his arm.

  Becky jerked her head up to stare at Jacob, her eyes wide. She pulled back enough to dislodge his hand. “What?” Her voice sounded strangled.

  “Why’d you quit going to the singings?” Ach, talk about blunt. Jacob hadn’t meant to ask so plainly. But there it was. Laid out in the open.

  She stared at him, his shock mirrored on her expression. She just stood there, not answering. But he could read the “none of your business” that she wanted to say in her eyes. Instead, after what seemed half of forever, she looked down, then up again with a suddenly coy look in her eyes. “Why? Did you want to take me home?”

  With that, she scurried off, leaving Jacob staring after her.

  Wondering.

  Why did he feel sparks with this woman? The possibilities excited him, but they were tempered with guilt. He intended to find her a date with someone else. Not him. Never him.

  The crunch of tires on gravel drew his attention from the fleeing woman to the mail truck edging to the box. All of a sudden, he remembered the letter in his hand and the girl waiting for it back home. Jacob waved the envelope, catching the mailman’s attention, and hurried the few yards separating them. He replaced the crumpled envelope in his pocket and pulled out another one addressed to Mamm, instead. Then, leaving the family’s mail in the box, he turned and sprinted—almost skating on patches of ice—back to the blacksmith shop.

  Not that he was in any hurry to get back to that hot, dirty job. He didn’t exactly want to face Cousin Daniel, either. But the more distance between him and Becky, the better.

  Whatever had possessed him to touch her?

  Chapter 7

  Becky hurried the mile to Annie’s house, holding the sling carrying Emma tight against her side. Her face burned from embarrassment as she scurried down the road, beneath the trees that looked as if they’d been painted by God’s own hand. Ice still encased some of the branches from the winter storm they’d had two days before Jacob’s arrival. But the ice was starting to melt, and the roads were mostly clear.

  Whatever had possessed her to tease Jacob about wanting to bring her home from the singing? He wouldn’t be interested in dating her, even if he didn’t have someone waiting for him back in Pennsylvania. At least by hurrying off, she had saved herself the embarrassment of being rejected outright.

  If only….

  No point in pursuing that thought. She couldn’t change the past, even if she wanted to. And she cherished Emma. She often wished that she’d done things in the right order, however: marriage first, and to a good, solid Amish man. Not running around with Kent in his fancy red car and being taken in by his smooth-talking ways.

  Ach! She set her jaw. She would not think about this.

  Emma squirmed and cried out, and Becky adjusted her hold. She must have squeezed her too tightly. Positive proof that she didn’t need to be thinking these things. Instead, she’d tell Annie about Jacob the minute she got there. Annie would surely be interested in the good-looking addition to their community, and maybe Jacob would take her home from the singing. She wasn’t seeing anyone; hadn’t since Luke had gone and jumped the fence to the Englisch world.

  Word was that Luke had cut his hair and wore E
nglisch clothes now. And Becky had heard he’d even bought a black pickup truck.

  Emma cried out again, and Becky pulled the material of the sling back far enough to press a finger to her soft cheek. Emma giggled. “You are worth it,” Becky said.

  But still….

  Images of Jacob floated through her mind. If only she’d waited.

  Arriving at Annie’s house, she stomped her feet on the stoop, knocking most of the dirt and ice off her boots, then opened the kitchen door and slipped inside. Annie and her mother were baking heart-shaped cutout cookies, probably to sell in the bakery.

  “Becky, welkum!” Annie set her cookie cutter down on the table and hurried over. Taking Emma, she unwrapped her and pressed kisses on her little cheeks. “How is the wee boppli?”

  Annie’s mamm took Emma next. “I’ve been hoping you’d stop by. I haven’t seen Emma in over a week. My, how she’s grown!” Cuddling the boppli close, she headed over to a carved rocking chair, one her husband had made in his furniture shop.

  “Can I help with the cookies?” Becky took off her coat and hung it on a wall hook.

  “We’re almost finished. This will be the last batch. When the cookies are cooled, we’ll give you some to take home to your family. Care for some coffee?”

  “Danki.”

  “So, what is going on at your haus?” Annie poured the coffee and set a cup in front of Becky and one beside her Mamm. “We saw Tony dropping someone off at your haus a couple of days ago. Do you have family visiting?”

  Becky leaned forward, hooking her fingers through the handle of the cup. “Jah. Not family, exactly. He’s a very distant cousin of Daed’s. We thought he came out to be part of the swap. Jacob said he was sent out to help Daed, and he has a girl back home. But, Annie, maybe he’ll stay. You’ve got to meet him. He’d be perfect to take your mind off Luke. He’s so gut-looking.”

  Shoving Jacob in Annie’s direction hurt more than Becky had expected it to. She wanted to snatch the words back and hold them close.

  Annie shrugged. “I don’t want to take some other girl’s man. That’d be wrong.”

  “Jah, but you could help him change his mind.” Why did she keep talking? “You’ve got to see him, Annie. He is so cute.”

  “Maybe you want him for yourself, jah?” Annie’s mamm said with a quirk of an eyebrow.

  Becky’s eyes widened. “Me? Nein. I’ll never marry. Besides, I’m used goods. He wouldn’t have me.”

  “What? You’ll never marry?” Annie slid the last tray of cookies into the oven. “I wouldn’t be so sure. I overheard Bishop Sol talking to your daed about marrying you up with Amos Kropf. His third wife recently died, and he’s got all those kinner who need a mamm. I heard Amos has his eye on you, since you’ve got Emma and no husband.”

  Becky’s skin crawled, and her stomach heaved with the force of sudden, rising nausea. By God’s grace, she kept the contents down.

  Not Amos Kropf. Please, God. Nein.

  If only someone else would have her. Someone like Jacob.

  ***

  The afternoon seemed to go by a little easier. The orders from the morning’s customers had all been taken care of, and now the only person waiting was a man who appeared to be approximately the same age as Daniel. Since this man wanted to talk privately, Daniel had sent Jacob out to get him a drink and a couple of cookies. The errand wouldn’t take long but would give the men the privacy they wanted.

  When Jacob walked into the kitchen, he saw Daniel’s frau working on some sort of baking. He’d made sure to wipe his feet first this time, not wanting to track anything on Becky’s clean floor. “Excuse me, ma’am. Daniel wants something to drink and a couple of cookies.”

  Daniel’s frau turned around and smiled. “Call me Leah.” She nodded toward the counter. “Help yourself to the cookies.” Elbow-deep in flour, she kneaded a lump of dough.

  Jacob nodded, washed his hands, and grabbed two cookies from the apple-shaped cookie jar. He placed them on a napkin, then took a cup out of the cupboard and filled it with water.

  He had almost reached the door when Leah spoke again. “Are you liking it here so far?”

  Jacob stopped, turned, and shrugged. He hadn’t really had a chance to decide how he felt—about the location. “So far, so gut.” What else could he say? Becky fascinated him too much for his own good, and he missed his family and his girl. That was the whole reason Becky fascinated him. Had to be. Plus, he had absolutely no desire to become a blacksmith.

  And there, his attitude had reared its ugly head again.

  Following God’s will meant that he would make the best of being here.

  Daniel certainly didn’t seem to need Jacob’s help, but he still put him to work. Jacob didn’t have any idea why God would have sent him here. Unless it was to prompt him and Susie to break up. God must be on Daed’s side.

  Jacob held back a sigh.

  He still wanted to cheer Becky up so she could find a husband, but so far, that project had been like ramming his shoulder into the side of a barn. Not one bit of give on her part, and a whole lot of aches and pains on his. Not to mention frustration.

  “Well, let us know what else we can do to help you feel at home.” Leah plopped the ball of dough into a bowl and covered it with a towel.

  “Jah.” Jacob nodded. Armed with cookies and water, he headed out the door. Back to the blacksmith shop.

  Jacob arrived to find the shop empty. Looking around, he saw Daniel and his visitor walking side by side toward one of the fields, still talking.

  He found a clear spot on the worktable and set down the napkin, cookies, and water, then set to work checking the fire. Next, he put away the hammers and tongs that had been left out. He didn’t know enough about the job to risk starting a new project. If Daniel had his way, however, Jacob would probably know enough about blacksmith work to rival Mose when he returned home. Maybe enough for Daed to build a forge where Jacob could do the family’s repair work.

  Or maybe enough to support Susie with his own business.

  Even if it wasn’t one of his choosing.

  Daniel strode back into the shop, his expression drawn, his shoulders slumped. The other man climbed into the buggy outside, and at a word he spoke, the brown horse pulled it down the gravel drive. Daniel didn’t watch the man go. Instead, he went and checked the fire, then headed over to get one of the tools Jacob had just put away.

  Without a word.

  He picked it up and put it down again, staring at it as if he’d never seen it before.

  Jacob flexed his jaw, wishing he knew Daniel well enough to ask him what bothered him. However, they had met just days ago, and he felt sure Daniel wouldn’t want to confide in him.

  But he didn’t want to just stand there doing nothing, either.

  “Can I help?”

  Daniel jumped. “Nein. Go…go see what Grossdaedi is doing.”

  Jacob hitched his shoulder. “Jah. Danki.”

  Leaving his coat and hat on the hook, he headed out. He’d check the barn first, having no idea how the patriarch of the family spent his days. It certainly wasn’t in the blacksmith shop with Daniel.

  He found Grossdaedi in the barn, mucking out the horse stalls. Jacob grabbed a shovel and moved in beside the elderly man.

  ***

  Becky trudged home with Emma bundled in her sling, a basket of cookies hanging on her arm, and her thoughts weighing her down. Amos Kropf had already buried three wives. Becky certainly didn’t want to be number four. She had no desire to marry a man his age. He must be in his early forties, at least.

  Daed surely wouldn’t agree to this match, would he? Not even if the bishop recommended it? Was this the only way she could hope to get married? To a man she barely knew? A man she suspected had abused his last wife?

  “Lord, I don’t want to marry Amos Kropf. I’d rather remain a maidal all my life. But if it’s Your will, help me to accept it.”

  The smoky smell from the blacksmith shop greeted her as
she entered the edge of their property, though she didn’t see any cars or buggies outside it now. And she couldn’t hear any voices.

  Going up to the house, she opened the door. Daed sat at the kitchen table, staring into a cup of coffee. Jacob was nowhere in sight.

  He looked up with a sigh. “Ach, Becky.”

  She set the basket of cookies in front of him. “Annie sent these.” They had covered the cookies with pink icing while she’d visited. She unwrapped Emma and headed for the other room. “Are you alright?”

  Daed nodded. “I will be.”

  “I need to go change her diaper. I’ll be right back.”

  “Jah.”

  “Where’s Mamm?” Becky paused and turned back. If only she dared ask what bothered him now. Surely, Jacob couldn’t be so inept that it had sent Daed up to the house to brood over a cup of coffee. Besides, if he was truly that bad, then Daed wouldn’t have left him alone in the shop.

  “Upstairs working on the mending.”

  “And Jacob?” She felt her face flush with heat just saying his name.

  A ghost of a smile flickered across Daed’s lips. “Helping Grossdaedi. I needed a break.”

  “Ach. Hinnersich, jah?”

  “Nein. He’s smart. Wonderful-gut help.”

  Ach, if only she could sit down at the table with Daed, have a cup of coffee and some cobbler, and listen to him recite Jacob’s virtues.

  But Emma needed attention.

  Feeding this foolish fascination with their guest would only cause her more heartache. After all, he’d be leaving in the not-so-distant future, maybe sooner rather than later, and then where would she be?

  Best to think about him as little as possible.

  With a sigh, Becky draped the pink blanket over the back of the cradle and hurried upstairs to tend to Emma.

  And to put all thoughts of one Jacob Miller out of her head.

  Chapter 8