But at the sight of her?
I had no choice but to just cry.
And cry.
And cry.
Her face crumpled, and she was there, in my space, sobbing too, as I clung to her and she clung to me.
“Fuck, I was so frightened, Stone,” she whimpered into my hair, making it wet, but those tears were good tears.
I loved them, because they were real, honest. They meant she loved me, and I was so happy that she did, because I felt that right back at her.
I sobbed into the neck of her tee. “I was fucking petrified. I’m so lucky she was a dipshit, Indy, because if she wasn’t, I’d have been a goner.”
She sobbed harder at that, then I did too. As she squeezed me and I squeezed her, something settled inside me, a resolve that I needed this woman in my life.
I was tired of hiding our friendship, tired of keeping shit a secret.
Steel and Rex had told me that my life would be changing. That they’d be transferring me from NYC to West Orange, and while I didn’t need to know how the fuck they were going to make that happen, while I’d been angry at first, in the silence after their call, I actually wasn’t anymore.
I was accepting of it, because I knew where my place was.
And it wasn’t in Manhattan.
If anything, a sense of peace washed over me as I accepted so many things I’d been struggling with.
I’d fought Steel’s rejection for so many years, but here, now? I was so tired of fighting it. He could do whatever he wanted, and I wasn’t going to be hurting anymore.
I didn’t need to be in Manhattan to put space between us. I could focus on the sick, deal with my career, aim for more, all while being closer to home.
Yeah, home.
West Orange had always been that, and I’d just forced myself to think that it wasn’t.
I was, by nature, a home body. And I missed my family.
The last time I’d gone back to the compound, Nyx had been sulking with me because he’d said I’d left them behind, and I had.
There was more to my family than just Steel, and even though we’d had our ups and downs, after I’d moved in with Rex’s family after Mom’s death, my relationships had tightened with almost all of the brothers.
Didn’t Rex call me every couple of weeks? Wasn’t I still in touch with Link via text? Was there a day that went by when he wasn’t sending me some stupid GIF that made me laugh?
And Sin and Storm—weren’t they just a phone call away? Always on the other end of the line if I needed them to come raging into battle for me.
And Maverick? What about our weekly emails? An email that I felt sure no one knew about, one that was my lifeline to the family and that was his way of expressing himself to me and to me alone.
He called on the Hippocratic Oath that I’d sworn to abide by when I’d first started practicing medicine, but we both knew that was bullshit.
I’d keep his secrets because he kept mine. We were each other’s vault of truth.
But the trouble was, I had so many fucking secrets. So many of them. They were eating me up inside.
Maybe now was the time to let some of them slip.
Not the ones from Maverick or anything like that, just the ones with Indy. No one knew about how close we were. They just thought we were friends because we were linked by the MC. But I was tired of that.
I was sick of hiding my connections. Sick of being a little lost amid the ties that bound me to the clubhouse.
If I was going home, then I was going home with style.
“Did you tell them how close we are?”
She tensed at that. “Huh?”
When she pulled back to look at me with red-rimmed eyes, I smiled at her, reached up, and rubbed my thumb down her cheek.
I’d known she’d be nervous about that. Lifelines weren’t always something you wanted broadcasted, and Indy was tougher than most. She felt she had to be that way, even though no one asked it of her.
Not even Nyx.
And their relationship was just one big mess.
“I think it’s time, don’t you?”
She winced a little. “I guess. But I didn’t actually say anything. It was weird. Nyx strode into my room like he owned the fucking place, and there I was, just starting to lose my shit. He realized something was going on, and he helped.”
“He realized something was going on, huh? Just helped out of the kindness of his heart?” I questioned with a snort.
Her lips twisted. “With a bit of persuasion.”
“I’ll bet.” I grinned at her, even though I was exhausted and tired and the drugs were still in my system.
I felt like I could rest now that she was here though. I felt like I could let my guard down, and that no one would hurt me.
I was in a different hospital than the one I worked in, but Jesus, that didn’t matter, did it? Was I safe anywhere?
Grunting at the thought, I muttered, “Love, I’m so tired right now. Do you mind if I sleep?”
“No! Of course I don’t,” she whispered, her voice as soggy as her eyes. “I’ll take a seat over there and just sit here if you don’t mind?”
“Don’t mind? Jesus, Indy, I’d be grateful. I don’t have the energy to keep my eyes open much longer, and the truth is, I couldn’t rest knowing I was alone.” I sucked in a breath. “I wanted Steel to come for me, but he said he couldn’t.”
“They told me their logic.” Her mouth tightened. “I didn’t approve.”
I shrugged. “I don’t mind.”
Her mouth dropped open. “You don’t mind?”
“No.”
She peered at me. “Did you get hit on the head?”
“Maybe? I don’t know what happened after I passed out.”
She scowled at that, then her fingers were running over my head, slipping through my hair, like she was trying to find some lumps and bumps.
I laughed at her antics, then muttered, “Indy, it’s okay. I’m okay with this.”
“Your life is here. They can’t just make decisions for you.” Her remark keyed me into the fact that they’d cut her into the loop.
“Yeah, they can. They care about me. I realized that today. It surprised me. I just…” I shrugged.
She got it, of course. She was one of us, even if she tried not to be as well. “Of course they care, they just have a fucked up way of showing it.”
I nodded at that, then dropped my head back against the pillows. “I know I was close to home anyway, but I’ll be happy to be back there.”
“You will? Why?”
The scoff in her voice was audible, and I got it. She’d moved a town over to be outside of West Orange, but she hadn’t gone much farther than that for Nyx’s and Caleb’s sake. I hadn’t been sure what her game plan would be once Caleb had hit eighteen and he’d started prospecting for the club, but she’d stuck around as he was patched in, and now with him in Riker’s? She wasn’t going to be moving while he was so close.
“Home is where my roots are, and I’ve been running from them long enough.”
“You mean Steel too?”
I must have sounded more on the ball than I was actually feeling, because that she picked up on that didn’t blow my mind.
“Yeah,” I replied on a sleepy sigh, rolling my head to the side as I followed her path from my bedside over to the chair where she could sit next to me. Before she plunked her butt down, she reached into her purse and wiggled a phone with a cracked screen at me. “Yours. They found it.”
God.
How was our phone conversation so recent yet still somehow like a lifetime ago?
“I have a charger,” she told me as she plugged it in, then when she was seated, she scooted the chair forward so it was closer to the bed, and then she leaned her arm on the sheets.
Her skin was darker than mine, thanks to her Algonquin heritage, but as our hands knotted together, heritage, gender, history, all of it was lost as I found comfort in my best friend. The wo
man who was like a sister to me.
I sucked in a breath, finally feeling like I could relax, then I closed my eyes and whispered, “It’s time to let him go.”
“Dumb fuck that he is,” she whispered.
I smiled, humming as I allowed my body and my brain to relax. “Yeah, he is, but it’s his loss.”
“That’s what I’ve been telling you for years,” she muttered grumpily, and I heard the tapping of her phone and knew she was on it.
That was the last thing I heard before I passed out.
Sin
“You’re the new link, huh?”
I narrowed my eyes at nothing in particular, but kept my voice polite as I rasped, “Link with what?”
“The Five Points, of course.” A hum sounded down the line. “I’m Brennan O’Donnelly.”
I scowled at Rex, who shrugged his shoulders, evidently not getting why I was pissed at him. “Who gave you this number?” My question had my brothers’ conversations breaking off as they turned to look at me.
There was a snort down the line. “We have our ways and means of doing business, as I’m sure you do. But in this instance, Nyx gave it to me. Far as I’m aware, you’re the new Enforcer, aren’t you? He’s the VP, isn’t that right?”
I dipped my chin. “That’s right. Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Brennan,” I said, keying my brothers in on who was on the phone.
Nyx smirked at me, fucker, so I flipped him the bird but everyone else’s attention reverted to what they’d been talking about before—plans for drawing Stone back into the fold.
Brennan snickered. “Acquaintance? Padraig? I think that’s taking things a little too far, especially when a little birdie told me exactly who you are.”
My mouth grew taut at that, and it didn’t take much to figure out who’d opened their mouth. “She’s an untrustworthy slut. I wouldn’t put much mind to whatever shit she’s spouting.”
“Mary Catherine is a slut?”
For the first time, I felt like I’d stunned the shit out of him, and I couldn’t blame him.
“Oh. Fuck! No. Not MaryCat. I meant—”
He chuckled, evidently back on an even keel while I was left squirming like a butterfly under a pin. “You mean your slut of a mother.” He hummed. “Yes, she’s an issue, but her husband is fairly capable of keeping her and her habits in line.”
“Until he gets sick of her and trades her in for a newer model,” I countered meanly.
“No one leaves the life. You know that,” he rumbled, and I did. I truly did, and I was happy about that.
That meant if she was traded in and thought to run her mouth, she’d be dead.
I could think of no kinder fate for a cunt like my ma than that.
“Anyway, what’s this about? This isn’t family time.”
I heard him shrug. “Thought you’d like to know that one of your men was shot down on 8th Avenue.”
My heart fucking stopped at that—I swore it did. “What?” I rasped.
“One of our men saw it happen. We’re not sure if he was a target, or if it was just an expedient hit because the dumb fuck was wearing his colors in the middle of disputed territory. There was another shooting a few minutes later, and a Bratva boyevik was taken down, so we think he was the original target and your boy was just collateral damage.”
“Hardly collateral if it was the fucking Famiglia behind the hit. They’re at war with us now.”
“I heard. Nice to have you on board. The Irish, Russians, and the Americans…a new set of Allied Forces.”
I muttered, “Fingers crossed you’re painting them as the Nazis and not us.”
Brennan laughed. “It’s the victor who gets to write the history books.”
“True.” My brothers had tensed at my words, and I knew I needed to get shit back on track. “Was Steel taken to a hospital?” I questioned.
“Yeah. The second my man saw it go down, he was there, helping a fellow ally out.”
“Many thanks to you for that,” I told him cordially, but my words dripped with polite gratitude. Respect as well.
If their people had saved Steel from being run over, then fuck, we owed them more than just a thank you.
We owed them a blood debt.
Brennan hummed. “It’s all good, deartháir, it’s all good.”
I flinched at that. “My Gaelic isn’t that good, but I know you’re not my brother.”
“Maybe you are, maybe you aren’t. Not by blood, but that’s how it works in the MC, isn’t it? You’re all brothers in arms, so I don’t see why you can’t be for us too. I think it’s fitting we have a liaison who’s born from both our lines doing the running between our families.”
I narrowed my eyes at that. “MaryCat is the one with ties. Not me. My father was a brother in the MC.”
“I’m sure he was, but your mother has always been tied to the Five Points.”
Surprise hit me. “What?”
Brennan hummed. “You don’t think her husband picked up some skank off the street, do you?” He snorted. “She’s the daughter of a lieutenant who went off the rails. When she was corralled in, she was married off. You know how it works.”
I’d admit to being stunned as hell, and my gaping mouth confirmed it. “You’re shitting me?”
Brennan snorted. “No. I’m not. We don’t let our women float away, you know that.”
“You let MaryCat—”
“MaryCat sneaked away. That’s true. And she was smart. She got married, otherwise, we’d have hauled her back. She knew the deal. Clever girl, that one. Always did like her.” Another hum. “Your ma wasn’t as smart. Never wanted to be tied down, but if she had, that was the second she’d have been free from us.”
I hoped that logic held true for Tiff. Fuck.
Rubbing my eyes after I pinched the bridge of my nose, I rasped, “Okay, less of the family time, I need to focus on my brother. Where’s Steel?”
Brennan reeled off the information, then he murmured, “The last I heard, which was minutes before I called you, he’s stable.
“We’ve had news, by the way. While things were derailed with the Famiglia war, we’ll have a shipment landing soon. I’ve been in touch with the Rabid Wolves. They know to be on red alert, I’m warning you to do the same.”
He didn’t wait to say goodbye, and I didn’t wait to give him a parting greeting either. We both clicked off, and I was surrounded by a bunch of brothers who were concerned to hell.
“Steel’s down?” Nyx ground out.
“Either a stray shot, unlucky moment where he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, or it was a targeted hit. Brennan says he’s stable.” The irony had me shaking my head though. “You’ll never guess where the fuck he is.”
Rex heaved a sigh. “Of course he’s in Stone’s hospital.”
“Yeah.”
“If he dies, I’ll fucking kill him.” Rex rubbed his chin. But if he lives, I’ll still kill him if he doesn’t wake the fuck up and finally take what’s his.”
Link’s focus shifted from me to Rex at that, and he asked, “Rex? What the fuck is going on between them?”
“Isn’t my shit to spill. You know how it works, Link,” Rex replied tiredly.
“You need to share this with us. Whatever the fuck is eating him up, it ain’t going to stop,” Link ground out.
From our reactions, I knew the lot of us were concerned about Steel, and the fact that I wasn’t racing off probably showed we had time to make it to the hospital, which was close by but we wanted answers. And our Prez knew it.
Anyway, we knew how hospitals worked.
We weren’t blood relatives, any of us. That meant they’d tell us sweet FA, even if we threatened them.
All that was waiting on us was a waiting room and no fucking answers as to how he was doing.
Rubbing my chin in irritation at the thought of yet another frustrating night being spent apart from Tiffany, I cursed Steel for being a prick and heading off into the unknown by
himself.
I knew for a fact no lone sniper would have hit us all en masse, not without wanting to bring war down on himself and his side. But that Rex was keeping this tucked close to his chest was enough of a clue as to how fucked up Steel’s secret was.
Rex cut each of us a look, but as he glanced over us, he connected with Nyx longer than anyone.
“Some shit doesn’t need to be shared, and that’s where Steel is at.”
Nyx scowled. “What kind of fucking logic is that? You trying to mess with my head or something? If you’ve got something to say, fucking say it.”
Rex narrowed his eyes back at him. “Why the fuck are all of you jumping down my throat on this? I’ve got secrets that I keep for everyone. If you want me to start spilling shit, then you’re the ones who need to be buying me more JD so I’ll open my mouth, because as it stands, I ain’t saying nothing to no one. You hear me?”
He grunted when Link glared at him. “You can’t be serious, Rex.”
The Prez scowled at him. “Why can’t I be? Your secrets are my secrets. I’m like a fucking priest. Don’t you know that?”
“It’s eating him up on the inside. He ain’t gonna do shit when it’s still rotting his guts away.”
Interestingly enough, Rex flinched at that. Then, he scrubbed a hand over his face. “This ain’t my business to tell.”
“Maybe we can help.”
Rex shook his head. “Link, sometimes you just can’t fix everything for brothers you give a damn about.”
“Why can’t I? I have to try. Maybe there’s something we can do—”
“There’s nothing you can do about this. It’s about his blood. He thinks it’s tainted, and fuck, if I were him, maybe I’d feel the exact same way. Bear is many things, and I know he’s committed enough sins to see him sitting on the electric chair, but I’m not tainted… Steel?” Air gusted from his lips. “I can understand why he might think it, even if I think he’s a dumbass for denying what he and Stone have together.”
My brow puckered at that, and I muttered, “Rex, you have to know you can’t leave it like that. We understand that you’re uncomfortable telling secrets that aren’t yours to tell, but anyone can see Steel is goddamn miserable.”
Steel: A Dark MC Romance (A Dark and Dirty Sinners’ MC Book 4) Page 13