Cassie wasn’t jealous. Just because she’d heard Ian and Lily had had dinner didn’t mean a thing. Really.
But that green-eyed monster reared its ugly head and reminded Cassie that she’d fallen for a cheating man once before.
On the other hand, what hold did she have over Ian? He wasn’t staying and he’d never confessed his undying love to her. But she’d seen his eyes last night, she’d seen how he looked at her, and she’d experienced lovemaking like she never had before. How could he deny that they’d formed an unspoken bond?
Cassie quickly dried off Emily and got her dressed in her footed bunny pajamas. After giving her a bottle and rocking her gently, Cassie began to sing.
This was the time of night she enjoyed most. Just her and her precious baby girl. Cassie might sing off-key, she might even get an occasional word wrong, but Emily didn’t care. She just reached her little hands up and patted Cassie’s hand or touched her lips.
They had a nightly ritual and just because Ian was out in her living room didn’t mean she would change her routine. Before Emily fell asleep in her arms, Cassie laid her in her crib, giving her a soft kiss on her forehead, then left the room.
Cassie took a moment to straighten her tank and smooth her hair over her shoulders before she started down the hallway. As she entered the living room, she noticed that Ian was reclined on her sofa, head tilted back, eyes closed, with his hands laced across his abdomen. He’d picked up the toys and neatly piled them in the Pack ’n Play in the corner.
No. She didn’t want that unwelcome tumble of her heart where this man was concerned. She couldn’t risk everything again on the chance that he could love her the way she loved him.
Tears pricked her eyes as she fully confessed just how much she did love this man. But he could never know.
Her feet shuffled over the hardwood floors, and Ian lifted his lids, his gaze seeking hers.
“Thank you for picking up,” she told him, still standing because she intended to show him out the door.
Shifting to fully sit up, Ian patted the cushion beside him. “Come here, Cassie.”
She didn’t like being told what to do, but she wasn’t going to act like a teenager who pouted over a boy, either.
She was a big girl, but that didn’t exempt her from a broken heart.
Taking a seat on the opposite end of the couch, she gripped her hands in her lap. “What do you want, Ian? I don’t have time for games.”
His eyes locked on to hers. “I don’t play games, Cassie, and I have no idea what you’re so upset about.”
Of course he didn’t. Neither had her ex when he’d cheated.
She eased back against the arm of the sofa and returned his stare. “Do you know why I’m divorced?”
Ian shook his head and slid his arm along the back of the couch as if to reach for her.
“My husband got tired of me,” she told him, tamping down the sliver of hurt and betrayal that threatened to make her vulnerable. Never again. “The whole marriage-baby thing was cramping his style. Apparently he’d been cheating on me for most of our marriage and I was too naive and dumb to realize it. You see, I assumed that when we took our vows they meant something to him.”
“Cassie—”
“No,” she said, holding up her hand. “I’m not finished. After Emily was born, Derek left. She was barely two months old. He left me a note and was just...gone. It seems the sexy wife he once knew was no longer there for him, so, in turn, his cheating and the divorce were my fault. I know now that he was a coward and I’m glad he’s gone because I never want Emily to see me settle for someone who treats me like I’m not worth everything.
“I want my daughter to see a worthy example of how love should be,” she went on, cursing her eyes for misting up. “I want her to see that love does exist. My parents had it, and I will find it. But I won’t be played for a fool while I wait for love to come into my life.”
Ian swallowed, his eyes never leaving hers as he scooted closer. He wasn’t stupid; he could put the pieces together and know she’d assumed the worst about his dinner meeting with Lily.
“I didn’t play you for a fool, Cassie.” His tone was light as he settled his hand over both of hers, which were still clasped together in her lap. “I have never lied to a woman and I’ve never pretended to be something I wasn’t.”
With a deep sigh, Cassie shook her head. “Forget I said anything. I mean, it’s not like we’re committed to each other,” she said as she got to her feet.
But Ian jumped right up with her and gripped her shoulders before she could turn from him.
“Do you seriously think for one second that I believe you’re so laid-back about the idea of me seeing you and another woman?” he demanded. “I had a business meeting with Lily. I told you I’ve wanted to sign her to my agency for months. She’s the main reason I came to the set and why I’m staying so long.”
Cassie’s eyes widened, but he didn’t give her a chance to speak. He needed her to know she didn’t come in second...and she should never have to.
“I spent the entire evening trying to win her over, outlining every detail of the contract and all the perks of having me as her agent.” Ian loosened his grip as he stepped closer to Cassie and slid his hands up to frame her face. “But the entire evening, I was thinking of you. Wondering what you were doing, how long it would be until I could see you again.”
Her shoulders relaxed and her face softened as she kept those stunning baby blues locked on his. The hope he saw in her eyes nearly melted him on the spot. He knew she wanted to trust. He knew she’d been burned once and he completely understood that need, the yearning for that solid foundation.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. Cassie’s lids lowered as she shook her head before she raised her gaze to his once more. “I don’t want to be that woman. I seriously have no hold on you, Ian. You’ve promised me nothing and I don’t expect you to check in.”
Ian kissed her gently, then rested his forehead against hers. A soft shudder rippled through her and Ian wanted nothing more than to reassure her everything would be all right.
But how could he, when he knew he wasn’t staying? How could they move forward with emotions overtaking them both?
“I hate what he did to me,” she whispered, reaching up to clasp his wrists as he continued to cup her face. “I hate that I’ve turned bitter. That’s not who I want to be.”
Ian eased back and tipped her face up to his. “That’s not who you are. You’re not bitter. You’re cautious and nobody blames you. You not only have yourself to think of—you have Emily, too.”
Cassie’s sweet smile never failed to squeeze his heart, and Ian had no clue how a man could leave behind a wife and child. Ian wouldn’t mind getting ahold of Cassie’s ex. He obviously was no man, but a coward. Selfishly, Ian was glad Derek was out of the picture. If the man could throw away his family so easily, he wasn’t worthy.
“What’s that look for?” she asked. “You’re very intense all of a sudden.”
He had to be honest because she was worth everything he had inside him.
“Where is this going?” he asked. “I care about you, Cassie. More than I thought I would, and I think we need to discuss what’s happening between us.”
A soft laugh escaped her. “You sound like a woman.”
Ian smiled with a shrug. “I assure you I’ve never said this to anyone else, but I don’t want you getting hurt.”
Cassie nodded and a shield came over her eyes as if she was already steeling herself. “Honestly, I don’t know. I care for you, too. I question myself because I’m still so scarred from the divorce and I told myself I wouldn’t get involved again. Yet, here we are and I can’t stop myself.”
Her inner battle shouldn’t make him happy, but he couldn’t help but admit he liked the fact she had no control over her feelings for him.... At least he wasn’t in this boat of emotions alone.
“I don’t want you to be the rebound guy,” she murmured. “But I’m so afr
aid of how you make me feel.”
Stroking her silky skin, wanting to kiss her trembling lips, Ian asked, “How do I make you feel?”
He shouldn’t have asked. Cassie pursed her lips together as if contemplating her response, and Ian worried he’d put her on the spot. But he had to know. This mattered too much. She mattered too much.
“Like I’m special.”
She couldn’t have zeroed in on a better word that would hit him straight in the heart. Special. She was special to him on so many levels. She was special because he’d never felt more alive than he did with her. He’d never let his career come second to anything before her, and he sure as hell had never thought, with his family issues, that he’d be falling for a woman with a child.
Cassie inspired him to be a better person, to want to care for others and put his needs last.
But most of all he understood that need to feel special. He’d craved it his entire life, and until this very moment, he hadn’t realized that was what he’d been missing.
“You make me feel special, too.” Before now he never would’ve felt comfortable opening up, showing how vulnerable he was on the inside. “I don’t want to be the rebound guy, either.”
Her eyes widened as she tried to blink back the moisture. “So what does that mean?”
Hell if he knew. Suddenly he wanted it all—his career, the Hollywood lifestyle, Cassie and Emily. Cassie had him rethinking what family could be.
There was that other part of him that was absolutely terrified and wanted to hightail it back to Hollywood. But for now, he would relish their time together until he could come to grips with this mess of emotions.
“It means for now, you’re mine.” He kissed the corners of her mouth. “It means you are more to me than any other woman has ever been.” He kissed her directly on the mouth, coaxing her lips apart before murmuring, “It means I’m taking you to bed to show you just how much you mean to me.”
Only wanting to keep her smiling, keep her happy for as long as he was here, Ian slid his arms around her waist and pulled her body flush against his own.
When Cassie’s fingers slid up around his neck and threaded into his hair, Ian claimed her mouth and lifted her off the ground. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he carried her toward the bedroom, where he fully intended to make good on his promise.
Thirteen
The day couldn’t be more perfect. God had painted a beautiful setting with the sun high in the sky and the temperature an ideal sixty degrees. The stage was set for Tessa to win the Preakness and take the second step toward the Triple Crown.
But no matter the weather, the thrill that always slid through Cassie at each race had to do with the stomp of the hooves in the stalls as the horses eagerly awaited their shining moment, the thick aroma of straw, the colorful silks adorning each horse, the tangible excitement of the jockeys as they shared last-minute talks with their trainers.
Which was exactly what Cassie and Tessa had just finished doing. Cassie had the utmost confidence that this race would go in their favor, but strange things always happened and they both knew better than to get cocky—especially at this point.
The first third of the Triple Crown was theirs, but this was a new day, a new race and a whole other level of adrenaline rushes.
Cassie followed behind as Tessa rode Don Pedro from the stables through the paddock and entered the track. No matter the outcome, Cassie was proud of her sister, of what they’d accomplished in their years together.
Soon their racing season would come to an end and Cassie would move on with her goal of opening a riding camp for handicapped children. Training a Triple Crown winner would put her in high demand in the horse-breeding world, but she hoped to use that reputation as a launching point for her school.
And beyond the school worries, her father was getting offers from his most heated rival, Jake Mason, to buy the prizewinning horses. Their season wasn’t even over yet, for heaven’s sake.
But those thoughts would have to wait until after the competition.
As would her thoughts of a certain Hollywood agent who had stayed behind on the estate to get some work done without distractions. The majority of the film crew had accompanied the Barringtons to Baltimore, Maryland, but today they were spectators, enjoying the race. They’d gotten many great shots from Louisville a couple of weeks ago, so now they were able to relax...somewhat. Cassie knew they were still taking still shots for the ad campaign, but not as many as at the derby.
As Tessa rode onto the track, Cassie couldn’t help but smile. There was so much to be thankful for right now in her life. One chapter of her career was coming to an end. Another was going to begin in a few months. Her daughter was happy and healthy and nearing her first birthday.
And, delicious icing on the cake, Ian Shaffer had entered her life. For how long she didn’t know. But she did know that, for now, they were together and he had admitted his feelings were strong. But did that mean he’d want to try something long distance? Or would he stay around a little longer after the film was finished?
So many questions and none of them would be answered today. She needed to concentrate and be there for Tessa. All else could wait until this race was over.
In no time the horses were in their places and Cassie felt her father’s presence beside her. His arm snaked around her waist, the silent support a welcome comfort. Each race had nerves balling up in her stomach, but nothing could be done now. The training for the Preakness was complete and now they waited for the fastest, most exciting moment in sports.
Cassie glanced toward the grandstands, and the colorful array of hats and suits had her smile widening. Excitement settled heavily over the track as everyone’s gaze was drawn to the starting gate.
“You’re trembling,” her father whispered into her ear.
Cassie let out a shaky laugh. “I think that’s you.”
His arm tightened around her waist as a robust chuckle escaped. “I believe you’re right, my dear.”
The gun sounded and Cassie had no time for nerves. She couldn’t keep her eyes off the places switching, the colored numbers on the board swapping out as horses passed each other and inched toward the lead.
Don Pedro was in forth. Cassie fisted her hands so tight, her short nails bit into her palms.
“Come on. Come on,” she muttered.
Tessa eased past third and into second on the last turn.
The announcer’s tone raised in excitement as Tessa inched even farther toward the head of the race. Cassie wanted to close her eyes to pray, but she couldn’t take her gaze off the board.
Just as the first two horses headed to the finish line, Cassie started jumping up and down. Excitement, fear, nerves... They all had her unable to stand still.
And when the announcer blared that the winner was Don Pedro by a nose, Cassie jumped even higher, wrapped her arms around her father’s neck and squealed like a little girl.
“We did it,” he yelled, embracing her. “My girls did it!”
Damon jerked back, gripped her hand and tugged her toward the winner’s circle, where Tessa met them. Her radiant smile, the mass of people surrounding her and the flash of cameras all announced there was a new winner.
Grant was right there in the throng of people, his grin so wide there was no way to hide the pride beaming off him.
Cassie’s heart lurched. She loved that Tessa had found the man of her dreams, couldn’t be happier for the couple. But, for the first time, Cassie was not the first one Tessa turned to after a race.
And that was not jealousy talking.... Cassie loved seeing Tessa and Grant so happy, and sharing Tessa’s affection was fine. It was the fact that Cassie still felt empty when monumental things happened. Whom did she turn to to celebrate or for a shoulder to cry on?
Tessa turned her head, caught Cassie’s eye and winked down at her. Returning the wink, Cassie smiled to hide her sad thoughts.
Soon reporters were thrusting microphones in her face, a
s well. Very few ever won the Triple Crown, and a team of females was practically unheard of. History was definitely in the making.
The Barrington sisters had done it again, and with only one more race to go to round out the season and secure the coveted Triple Crown, Cassie knew she needed to focus now more than ever on training for the Belmont.
Which meant keeping her heart shielded from Ian, because if he penetrated too much more, she feared she’d never be able to recover if it all fell apart.
* * *
They were gone for days, weeks.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t weeks, but Ian felt as if he hadn’t seen Cassie forever. Which told him he was going to be in trouble when it came time for him to head back to L.A.
She’d arrived home late last night and he’d known she’d be tired, so he had stayed away to let her rest and spend time with Emily. But knowing she was so close was hard.
As he headed toward the stables just as the sun peeked overtop the hilltops, Ian wanted to spend some time with her. He’d actually ached for her while she’d been away. Like most of the nation, he’d watched with eyes glued to the television during the Preakness and he’d jumped out of his seat and cheered when Don Pedro crossed the finish line for the win.
The familiar smell of hay greeted him before he even hit the entrance. As soon as he crossed the threshold, Ian spotted Nash cleaning out a stall.
“Morning,” Ian greeted him.
Nash nodded a good-morning and continued raking old hay. “Cassie isn’t here yet,” he said without looking up.
Ian grinned. Apparently he and Cassie weren’t very discreet...not that they’d tried to be, but they also hadn’t been blatant about their relationship, either.
“Hey, Ian.”
He turned to see Tessa striding into the stables, all smiles with her hair pulled back.
“Congrats on the win.” Ian couldn’t help but offer a quick hug with a pat on her back. “That was one intense race.”
Tessa laughed. “You should’ve seen it from my point of view.”
Her eyes darted to Nash, then back to Ian. “What brings you out this early?”
Single Man Meets Single Mom Page 10