Conscious Bias

by Alexi Venice

  She reluctantly rose again from her chair and grabbed her plastic water bottle. She moped down the hallway, fretting, and turned into the kitchen, where she rinsed out her bottle and refilled it with ice water. She didn’t dare walk by Nathan’s office for fear of running into a dramatic confrontation between him and someone like Richard, so she took the opposite way around the square building to Jim’s corner office.

  Her knock on his open door brought his head up from his flat screen. “Hey Monica. Come in.”

  She closed the door behind her and sat in one of two chairs facing his desk. Like a passenger on a ship expecting rough seas, she planted her feet squarely on the floor in front of her and gripped the wooden arms of the chair tightly. “I need to discuss something important with you.”

  He registered her expression and tense body language, then pushed back from his keyboard, giving her his full attention. “All right. Is it about the hospital?”

  “No,” she said in a flat, ominous tone. “It’s about me.”

  “Whatever you need,” he said, “I’m here for you.”

  “I understand that Nathan came out to the partnership,” she said by way of preamble. Jim’s reaction to Nathan would be a harbinger for how he would react to her own news.

  He exhaled and nodded, giving the impression he knew where the conversation was headed. “Yes. Very brave of him.”

  “It was, considering his disclosure isn’t going so well.”

  “What?” he asked. “Why?”

  “Charles sent Richard into Nathan’s office to take all the litigation files for the insurance company.”

  “You have to be kidding me,” Jim said, exasperated. “Those idiots. Nathan has done an outstanding job handling claims and litigating cases.”

  “I know. I think it’s blatant discrimination based on his sexual orientation.”

  Jim squinted at her. “I don’t disagree with you, but I can’t control Charles and Richard. I can talk to them about it, but Charles, especially, has never listened to me. We’ve grown further apart, and now he has an ally in Richard, so I doubt I’ll be able to convince them to return the files.”

  She held up her hand and patted the air to stop him from pursuing that train of thought. “That’s not why I’m here. Nathan can fight his own battles.”

  He inclined his head, curiosity furrowing his bushy, grey brows that urgently needed a trim. In fact, his entire face needed a trim. The beard was beyond scraggly, but his eyes were still kind and gentle.

  She refocused and cleared her throat. “I’m here to tell you that I’m gay too. I came out—in my work world—in the last few days, so a handful of attorneys in town know, including Nathan.”

  Remaining silent, he removed his glasses and set them on the desk, then rubbed his eyes vigorously with his large knuckles.

  “It’s silly, really, that I didn’t tell you sooner. I was out my entire life, but when I joined SDW, something held me back from casually mentioning that I’m gay.” Monica realized she was on the verge of rambling, so she shut up and studied Jim. His reaction would be instrumental to the success of their continued relationship.

  After an awkward minute of silence, he slowly and deliberately replaced his glasses then looked at her with deep affection, his blue eyes a softer shade than their usual iceberg hue. “I’m very happy for you. No one should have to live a secret life, especially over sexual orientation.” He smiled briefly. “As far as us working together, your being gay doesn’t impact that one bit. I admire you as a person and respect you as a lawyer, and I’d be honored if you felt the same way about me.”

  Monica unexpectedly felt the sting of tears, surprised that she had placed so much importance on Jim’s reaction. “Thank you, Jim. I respect you and want to keep working with you too. I love what I do every day, especially for the hospital, but I won’t be treated like Richard and Charles are treating Nathan. I respect myself too much for that.”

  “I get what you’re saying,” he said. “I feel the same way. Unfortunately, I can’t guarantee anything from those two. They’re arrogant and ignorant in many respects, so won’t listen to a damn thing I say. In fact, we’ve been disagreeing over almost everything for the last few years, so I’ve recently thought about dissolving the partnership and starting my own firm. If what you describe is true about their reaction to Nathan, and you feel uncomfortable working here, then this is the impetus I need.”

  “Wow,” she said, aghast. “I had no idea.”

  He shrugged. “I’ve maintained an upbeat attitude and kept a good façade for the staff, but I’ve had about as much as I can take from the father-son duo. Richard has come into the full inheritance of his father’s power-hungry mania.”

  “No kidding. You should hear the stuff he’s said to me. Very inappropriate. He told me I should be telling him every piece of gossip I hear because he’s going to be a partner soon and will be voting on whether I make partner.”

  “Oh shit!” Jim said. “Why didn’t you come to me?”

  “I didn’t know how you’d react, so I weighed whether I’d be making matters worse for myself. I really don’t feel I can do that any longer based on what Nathan has told me.”

  “I completely agree,” he said. “Do you think Nathan would like to join me if I opened a new firm?”

  “I have no idea,” she said. “You’ll have to ask him that.” She didn’t feel it was appropriate to share Nathan’s secret that he was joining Christina’s firm. That was for Nathan to share with Jim.

  “I will,” he said, removing his glasses and setting them on his desk.

  “Are you going to leave me behind in the snake pit, or are you going to ask me to join you too?”

  “I didn’t plan on asking you to ‘join me,’” he said, using air quotes.

  “What?” A surge of anxiety filled her.

  “I thought I’d ask to join you,” he said, smiling. “You know, at ‘Spade & Daniels,’ our new law firm.”

  Her eyebrows hit the ceiling, making his smile brighter. “Surprised?” he asked.

  “Floored. You’d do that?”

  “In a New York second,” he said.

  She covered her mouth. “Wow. I’m a little taken aback but totally honored.”

  “Is that a ‘yes?’” he asked. “I’d like to know if you’re on board before I cross the Rubicon.”

  “Yes!” she exclaimed, the enormity of the proposition hitting her. “Yes, I’ll start a new firm with you if you explain what you just said.”

  “Awesome!” He laughed. “Do you mean ‘crossing the Rubicon?’”

  “Never heard it before,” she said.

  “The Rubicon was the river that Julius Caesar crossed to start the Roman Civil War in about 50 B.C., give or take.”

  “Do I have to know obscure references like that to be partners with you?” she asked.

  “Absolutely not,” he said.

  “Then we’re a team,” she said.

  “Do I have your permission to start recruiting a few people besides Nathan? Very discreetly, of course.”

  “Attorneys or staff?”

  “Only staff,” he said. “We’ll approach other attorneys after we’re established.”

  “Sure,” she said. “What if Charles and Richard find out?”

  “If they do, it might make our last few days here uncomfortable, so I’d rather get the new office space and everything in place first, then spring it on them.”

  “I totally agree with that plan.”

  “Perfect. You continue doing your job, taking care of the hospital, and I’ll work secretly to get everything together, okay?” he said.

  “Is this really happening or am I dreaming?”

  “As far as I can tell, I never enter women’s daydreams,” he said. “However, this will be the third time in my career that I’ve started a firm, and I’m looking forward to it.”

  “If you’re sure then I’m all in. I don’t have much money, you know. I can’t contribute a bunch of capit
al to this venture.”

  “What do you have?” he asked.

  “About ten grand in savings.” She had double that amount but wasn’t about to drain her bank account.

  “Would you mind contributing that as the senior, named partner?”

  “How much are you going to contribute?” she asked.

  “Probably $100,000,” he said. “You might have to take out a loan for a few thousand more.”

  “A loan?” She had no idea.

  “Don’t sweat the details. Let me get everything lined up. Just do your job and keep your head low.”

  “I can do that,” she said.

  He rose from his chair and came around the desk, a new, energetic spring in his step. “Do I get a hug, partner?”

  She stood and heartily embraced him, amazed at his strength and broad shoulders. “Thank you, Jim. You’re making my dream come true.”

  “Mine too,” he said, stepping back.

  “Let me talk to Nathan about this before you do,” she said.

  “Deal,” he said, “but do it today.”

  “I’ll do it right now. It feels strange to offer my friend a partnership in our new firm.”

  “Kind of fun though, you have to admit. Ten grand up front, and he signs the loan agreement too.”

  “Got it. Thank you for being you.”

  He bowed his head in a humble gesture.

  A mix of emotions crossed her face and she tilted her head.

  “What?” he asked.

  “I should probably tell Al Bowman that I’m gay. Don’t you think?”

  He scratched his beard. “I suppose.”

  “How do you think he’ll react?”

  “You probably know Al better than I do at this point, but I have to believe he doesn’t give two shits about your sexual orientation.”

  She suddenly felt nervous. “I hope so. Maybe I should wait until after the trial.”

  “I suggest you talk to him in person when the time feels right for you,” he said.

  “I’ll be at the McKnight murder trial for the next few days, so maybe if he attends it too. I don’t know,” she said, shaking her head.

  “Don’t sweat it. You’ll get the opportunity. Have you prepped the doctors for the trial?”

  “I’m working on it.”

  “Will the Seif family be there?”

  “Yes. They’re flying in tonight by private jet. They want to meet with the physicians at the hospital and tour the CCU where Abdul was a patient.”

  “Do you and Al have a plan?”

  “Yes. I only hope Marcus-the-monkey doesn’t make an appearance.”

  “That would be one for the history books.”

  “Wouldn’t it!” she said.

  “When we start our new firm, the hospital account is yours,” he said.

  Her throat constricted. “Thanks Jim.”

  “You’ve earned it.” Their eyes met in agreement, and she exited his office, confidently walking past Charles’ corner office, Richard’s undeservedly large office next to Charles’, and onward to Nathan’s. His door was shut.

  She suspected he was working his client list, convincing them to follow him over to Fox Law Offices, but she had to interrupt him to give him the heads up about Jim’s upcoming invitation.

  She knocked lightly on his door. No answer, although she could hear him on his phone. She texted him. It’s Monica. I need to talk to you, so I’m coming into your office right now.

  He replied. Come in.

  She opened the door and peeked around to see Nathan on the phone at his desk. He waved her in and motioned for her to sit in the chair across from him. She obliged, scanning her email while she waited for him to finish his call. He was on with a manager at one of the insurance companies, explaining his desire to continue handling their claims. When the call ended, he looked at her with happy exhaustion. “Another client is coming with me.”

  “I’m so happy for you,” she said. “You’re much further along in your journey than I am, but I’m happy to report that I just came out to Jim.”

  “Good for you! How did Jim take it? Are we blowing up his old, white-man view of the world?”

  She winced. “Actually, no. He was very happy for me, so much so that he offered to dissolve the partnership of SDW and start our own firm—Spade & Daniels.”

  He snorted sarcastically. “Yeah, right.”

  “I’m not joking. He’s had enough of Charles and Richard and has been considering leaving for quite some time.”

  “Get out!” Nathan said.

  “Ha! I just did, and it felt awesome!”

  “You’re serious?” he asked. “You and Jim are starting your own firm?”

  “Yes. That’s why I’m here. We want you to join us.”

  He did a doubletake. “Join you?!”

  She appreciated that she upended his world. “I know you told Christina that you’d join her, but Jim is going to ask you to join us, so I thought I’d ask first.”

  “You didn’t tell him that I’m leaving for Christina, did you?”

  “No. That’s why I’m here.”

  “Whoa.” He pushed away from his desk and stood. He marched to the other side of his modest office, pivoted on the ball of his foot, ran his fingers through his hair, and paced back. “I didn’t see this coming. First, I’m derided and discriminated against, then my clients pledge their loyalty to me, and now I get two job offers in one day!”

  “You’re a role model for queers everywhere.” She smiled, her own world exploding with new possibilities she hadn’t dreamed of.

  “I want to come with you, I do, but I already told Christina, and two big clients, that I’m joining her. What if the clients are following me, in part, because I’m joining Christina’s prestigious firm?” Energy radiated off his lanky body while he deliberated.

  “I personally doubt that clients are following you only because you’re joining Christina. I think they’re following you because you’re you.” She spread her hands wide, opening herself to him. “You should do what you think is best. I’m offering you a chance to join us as a full-fledged partner. You would put up ten grand and sign a loan agreement for a few thousand more.”

  He squinted at her. “But not as a named partner?”

  “Only Jim and I are on the marquee right now.”

  “What’s wrong with ‘Spade, Daniels & Taylor?’” he asked, sweeping his hand in the air.

  She smiled. “Well, SDT is better than STD.”

  He laughed.

  “Seriously though,” she said. “Why don’t you propose the name to Jim when he talks to you today? He has no idea of your plans to leave suddenly and join Christina, so I’ll leave the details to you two.”

  “Thanks for not telling him. Let me give it some thought.”

  “At the meteoric rate shit is happening around here, I’ll give you two heartbeats to think about it. Be prepared with an answer when Jim walks through your door.”

  “Isn’t the senior, named partner getting bossy?!” He winked at her.

  “She is indeed,” Monica said. “I have to get back to work. Keep calling your clients.” She pointed to his phone with an air of authority.

  He saluted her. “Will do, boss.”

  She smiled heartily and left. When she returned to her office, she called Wally Leib about Marcus-the-monkey.

  “Please tell me Marcus is safe,” Wally said.

  “I’m hopeful. Right now, he’s making monkeys of men.”

  Wally actually snickered in spite of herself. “What’s up?”

  Monica braced herself and dropped the bomb. “The hospital has a special animal recovery team working on finding Marcus and tranquilizing him, so they can return him safely to Darcy.”

  “They’re going to shoot him?”

  “Tranquilize him. I’m only calling you because Darcy needs to be made aware that the team is working on that right now.”

  “Is she with them?”

  “No, and she’s not
invited. Let them do their jobs, so they can return Marcus to her.”

  Wally sighed, followed by an interminable silence.

  “Are you still there?” Monica asked after a suitable amount of time.

  “Just because the monkey is off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town,” Wally said.

  Monica rolled her eyes. “Trust me, I’m well aware.”

  “Do I have your personal word that Marcus will be returned in a healthy condition?”

  “Absolutely not. But you have my professional word that the team will do everything in their power to achieve that goal. Their first priority is to find him, so he stops defecating all over the hospital.”

  Wally hmphed.

  “Okay,” Monica said. “Are we good?”

  “You’ve made your position clear.”

  “Don’t make this worse by launching some attack on the hospital, Wally. Let the team do their job, and we can all sail away into the sunset together.”

  “Right.” Wally hung up on her.

  Fuck. I have a bad feeling about this. And the Seifs are coming to visit the hospital tomorrow!

  Chapter Seventeen

  Monica consulted her to-do list and realized she should call Tiffany, the reporter at WQOD, before they ran with a story and accused the hospital of not returning Tiffany’s call. Al would kill me. She dialed the number that Al had provided.

  “Tiffany Rose, WQOD.”

  “Hello, Tiffany. This is Monica Spade. I’m an attorney representing Community Memorial Hospital. Al Bowman asked me to return your call. What can I do for you?”

  “Thank you,” Tiffany said. “I’m finalizing my pretrial coverage of the Trevor McKnight case, and I wanted to get a reaction from the hospital to Attorney Jeffrey Halliday’s statements on the courthouse steps.”

  “I’ll see if I can help without breaching Abdul Seif’s medical confidentiality.”

  “I was wondering if you were going to hide behind that.”

  “Hide behind?” Monica asked. “The hospital and physicians have a legal obligation to keep the details of care confidential.”

  “I thought confidentiality died with the patient,” Tiffany said.