Thread Skein (Golden Threads Trilogy Book 3)

by Leeland Artra

  “I made a terrible choice. I thought I was going to die when I diverted the power at the Nhia-Samri base through myself. It burned so badly that at the end, as soon as I knew Ticca was safe, I fled. I didn’t want to deal with the pain, or to find out that I had been wrong, and hadn’t saved anyone except myself.”

  He poked at the fire with the stick his roasted meat had been on. It flared, and no one said a word. They were all perfectly quiet, and he imagined their judging eyes upon him.

  Now that he’d started, Lebuin knew he had to finish. He glanced around and realized that none of them had a judgmental look. They had neutral faces, except for Nigan, who still wore his perpetual smile. He waved the knife he was holding, saying without words, ‘Don’t stop now. Finish what you must.’

  “I left my physical body behind, and went to a place Argos had given me access to. Imagine the grandest building in the world. It’s unbelievably beautiful, and it’s a library. It has volumes of books from thousands of races, including lost knowledge from before this universe was created. Can you imagine all that knowledge? It’s all there. The knowledge, histories, and stories of a thousand lands. And there was no pain, no hunger. Only solitude, and books beyond measure. I roamed the halls, and I saw works of art from species I cannot even begin to describe. There is this fountain that....”

  Nigan tossed another log on the fire, jarring Lebuin from his rambling. When Lebuin looked at him, Nigan widened his eyes and jerked his head, as if to say, ‘Get on with it.’

  Stalling for time, Lebuin cleared his throat. “But that doesn’t matter. I left you here to deal with this mess, while I hid in that complex, reading.”

  They glanced at each other, keeping their thoughts to themselves, until Ditani finally broke the silence, asking, “Did you discover anything useful in all this reading?”

  Lebuin winced. “Well, I started reading some engineering and science books, but....” He searched their faces for any sign of support. Many were frowning.

  Ditani poked him in the shoulder. “But?”

  Shoulders slumping, Lebuin said, “But then I discovered the library had these adventure novels.”

  A few of them gasped. Lebuin wasn’t sure who, but it didn’t matter; all of them looked shocked. Nigan was slowly turning over the dagger Illa had thrown at him, his eyebrows riding high, near his short military bangs.

  Silence, broken only by popping from the fire, stretched on. Lebuin swallowed, knowing he had to tell the final bit.

  “I could’ve come back whenever I wanted. Time flows differently there. I thought I was stretching it, so I wouldn’t be there long, compared to here. I really thought I would only be there for a day or two. When Illa found me, I realized I’d been there longer than I thought.”

  Ditani stood. The look on his face was unreadable. “Lebuin, how long did you stay there?”

  Lebuin forced out in a squeaky voice, “I lost track, but I’m sure it wasn’t more than fifteen years.”

  They all reacted. His eyes were so full of tears that he couldn’t tell who did what. Some made choking sounds, and others went to the back of the cave. He knew Ditani had silently turned and walked out.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, with his head hung low.

  “You ran and left us,” Ticca said. “Do you expect us to forgive that so easily?”

  Lebuin jumped up, turning around. Next to Ticca stood Illa.

  How long have they been there?

  Wiping his eyes, he took in the two ladies. Both Ticca and Illa were covered in dirt and sweat. They’d lost weight, and their clothes, once wonderfully fitted, hung loosely on their bodies. Ticca had the hollow, sunken eyes of someone who was starving, while Illa appeared to be in a little better shape.

  Lords and Ladies, they look horrible. This hasn’t been an easy trek, made even harder by having to carry me. While I read, they worked, and friends died. Even worse, I slowed the team down so much that maybe we won’t be able to help end the war.

  He started to turn away, but realized that wasn’t the right thing. Instead, he tried to face them, but couldn’t get his eyes to lift from the ground for more than a second. He wiped his tears on the back of his hand and attempted to look at them.

  His one encouragement was that neither turned from him, although both their faces were streaked from crying.

  Ticca shook her head after a minute of staring at him. With a glance at Illa, which seemed to indicate that she should speak first, Ticca walked past him, towards the rear of the cave.

  As he scanned the area, he realized that only he and Illa remained in that section of the cave. Illa was slowly breathing through her nose. Ice blue eyes locked on him. Her face was a mask, revealing none of the thoughts and emotions that were boiling in her mind.

  He could feel that she tried to find something to explain his behavior. But in failing to find any forgiveness she was pushing him out of her mind and building walls against him. She needed to find her balance again. He knew she’d taken her role as his high priestess seriously. All of her training as a Nhia-Samri had taught her the importance of following through on every commitment. In exchange, she was guaranteed that her superiors would do the same. Failure to perform was unacceptable, and even if it meant your death, you did what you were ordered to do. As Lebuin was seen as a new kind of God, a Dagger God, Runa-Illa had applied all that commitment to learning to follow the Dagger ideals, which Lebuin had utterly failed to follow himself.

  Unsure about what to do, he glanced towards the back of the cave.

  “She said you changed her, just as you changed me. But now, I think you’ve broken her.” Illa’s voice was so soft, he barely heard it. The words cut, but he forced himself to keep looking at her.

  “I didn’t mean....”

  “This, I already know. Tell me, my Lord. Why come back now? Surely, being discovered by an insignificant, foolish follower couldn’t change the will of a God.”

  He couldn’t meet her eyes; the guilt was too strong. He dropped his head, looking at the ground, and shrugged. “You’re not insignificant or foolish. I am, because it took you to tell me what I should have already known. I came back because it was the right thing to do.” It came out barely a whisper.

  She stepped closer to him, putting her legs into his field of view.

  “Not good enough. The right thing was to never stay there. The right thing would have been to find me lost in the colored realm between. Instead, you stayed in your library. Lolenda is the one who found me and guided me to safety. If I hadn’t come to you, would you be here now?”

  Lebuin knew the answer as she asked the question, and he could feel she knew the answer, too. Shame washed over him, and he started to turn away. Illa stepped even closer and grabbed his arm, preventing him from turning. Her grip was light, and any amount of pressure would have broken it, yet he felt as if he’d been chained into place with iron bands.

  “I would’ve come back eventually.” Even as he said it, he knew there was no forgiveness or value in the rationalization.

  “Did you even check on me in all the time you were there?”

  Lebuin nodded, but not hard. “A few times, just to see if you were still alive, when I first got there.”

  “Lolenda said something that didn’t make sense at the time. But now I know it was meant for you.”

  Lebuin looked up at Illa, waiting for the final rebuke. Illa’s eyes locked onto his; her lips remained tight, and he could see that her face and shoulders were tensed.

  After a quick pause, she said, “Failing is not an end, unless you let it consume you.”

  Yes, that was for me.

  He placed his free hand on her shoulder. “I failed you. I will not let it happen again.”

  She pushed his hand off her shoulder and her face remained hard, like cold granite. “Lebuin, th
ese Daggers are your followers. Your duty is to serve the world and Argos. All they ask is that what they do for you is not in vain. I’m not sure I can serve you now.”

  Releasing his arm, she walked past him, not turning to look at him again. Lebuin fell to his knees and ran his hands through his hair. Forcing the tears back, he pushed his feelings down.

  I can fix this. I have to regain their trust. Never again!

  He sat up straighter, and stared out into the blazing sunlight outside of the cave.

  “Never again. I will never fail to do the right thing again. I will prove myself to them.”

  “If you’re finished with the self-loathing, there’s work to be done.” Ticca’s voice was surprisingly close, and he jumped back to his feet, spinning around to face her.

  Ticca had changed into a semi-clean cotton shirt, and was near the back of the cave, trying to look casual as she leaned against the wall. Illa stood next to her. Lebuin could sense the tension there — Ticca eyes were as intense as when she was in a serious fight. Illa was frowning and leaned away from him glancing at Ticca impatiently.

  He started to walk towards Ticca, but she held up her hand to stop him. “Do not get close to me right now. I’m just as pissed off at you as Illa is, although she has even more right than I have. I’m only your hired Dagger. She’s the closest thing to a real friend you have, and you left her to hang out there.”

  Lebuin stepped back and stood straight. “I won’t fail either of you again.”

  Ticca’s grunt was non-committal. Illa’s silence was even worse.

  After looking him up and down, Ticca said, “You’ve put on a lot of muscle mass for someone who’s been lying around in a cot for almost three weeks. One thing, before I take you anywhere near what I want to show you.”

  He waited for her to continue. His mind kept replaying that electric kiss. Less than half a mark ago, she’d been willing to wrap herself around him with so much joy at being reunited. But at this point, he’d be lucky if she’d continue to work for him even one second past this mission. He resolved to remain hopeful that he could win her back again. He knew she hadn’t been there for his confession to the team, but he was also sure Illa had told her everything.

  When he just stood there, her face contorted, and she gestured to his whole body. “Are you going to do something about that?”

  He glanced down at his glowing hands, remembering he looked a bit like a lantern on low burn. “I seem to have created some new magic channels in my skin. They’re acting kind of like a canteen for water. I didn’t do this on purpose. In fact, I thought I’d channeled away all the energies from that attack.”

  Illa straightened a little. Her face was still neutral, but her eyes shone with hope. “You don’t feel different. How much of the magic were you able to store in the collector? Do you think you have enough power to defend against a Nhia-Samri mage now?”

  His jaw dropped open. Oh, Lords! Urdu, why didn’t I think of that? I could have channeled a lot of energy to the collector!

  Even though he didn’t answer, Illa’s eyes went wide. “You didn’t keep the magic?”

  With a little snort, Ticca said, “Well, he was kind of in a hurry.”

  Illa stomped her foot. “Power! Power has been our primary focus for cycles. And you could have collected a lot.” Her hand twitched, and her lips tightened into a line. She shook her head. “I need to get my knife back.” Her whole body quivering, she turned, stepping past Ticca and heading into the back of the cave.

  Ticca hadn’t moved, but she snickered, trying to not laugh.

  “What’s so funny?”

  She shook her head as her eyes teared up. “Nothing.” For a brief flash, she looked like she had in those weeks when they trained in the woods and thought that only some hired Knives were after him. But then weariness and anger fell back over her features. She pointed to his skin.

  “Do you have that under control? There’s something I need to show you.”

  He shrugged. “As far as I know, I do. But I only discovered this change in me less than a mark ago. I believe it’s under control. I do understand what it is. I just can’t explain how I did it. Do you want me to figure this out before showing me?”

  Ticca stared at him a bit longer, her face hardening and softening like waves in the ocean. He knew she was trying to decide something, but for the first time since he met her, she was uncertain. It was almost terrifying to see her struggling with a choice.

  She jerked her head towards the back of the cave, opposite of where the bedding had been, and started walking that way, grabbing a spare torch and lighting it as she went.

  “We need your opinion on what Nigan found. I ask that you be careful. If it’s dangerous, I want to get everyone away safely.”

  That got his attention. The heat and sweat forgotten, he stepped lightly after her. I wonder what they’ve found already. We might not have to go into the desert if this is what the Nhia-Samri discovered.

  He had to suppress the urge to hurry to Ticca as they went past the lantern-lit sleeping area. The sleeping area was far enough inside the mountain that the temperature had dropped to merely ‘hot’, and the team was all there, broken up in pairs of three, talking. When Ticca walked by, they didn’t look at her; all eyes turned to him as conversations stopped. His chest tightened, and he recalled their shocked faces when he’d told the truth.

  If I could go back and do it again, I’d ignore the library. But I can’t do that. This is my mess, I made it, I have to clean it up...if I can.

  Nigan and Illa were well away from everyone else and almost in complete darkness, until Ticca’s torch illuminated the pair. Illa was holding a knife between them in the palm of her open hands. Nigan’s brows were drawn tightly together, but he smiled at Lebuin and Ticca as they drew near.

  Illa huffed, and with a menacing glance at Lebuin, she grabbed Nigan’s hand and pulled him away, towards the front of the cave.

  I hope she doesn’t take out her anger towards me on Nigan.

  At back of the sleeping area, the cave narrowed into a passage. Although not wide, it was tall. Lebuin could almost touch both walls with his arms out to the sides, yet the ceiling never came closer to his hands than ten feet, sometimes rising to roughly twenty feet.

  In the flickering firelight, the stone walls and floor looked natural. However, the passage sloped downward at a fixed angle, which didn’t seem to vary. There was a series of 90-degree right turns; at each turn, they saw a side passage to the left that went straight for a short distance, then performed two snake-like bends, opening up into a fair-sized cavern. The distance from one corner to the next decreased with each progressive length.

  Ticca gave him time to poke his nose into each cavern-like room before jerking her head back towards the main passage. Lebuin ran his hand over the semi-rough stone, not finding a single mortar joint. In spite of the rough rock appearance, the 90-degree turns and identical snake bends clearly spoke of a purposeful design.

  The tunnel ended at an arched entry that opened into a cavern. The final arch was the first thing that didn’t look natural. A faint odor of plants hung in the air. Lebuin stopped and sniffed. Ticca turned and waited.

  “Did you bring the horses down here?” he asked.

  Ticca shook her head and stepped next to Lebuin. “No. Why?”

  “I could swear I smell hay.”

  Sniffing the air, Ticca walked into the cavern. Lebuin followed her in.

  The scent of many horses came to him, along with those of the barn. He smiled and glanced at the princess walking beside him. She was lovely, with her brown curly hair pulled up in a bun, letting a few strands fall down the side of her face. She was wearing a riding outfit in red silks, with a layered petticoat. Her shiny, tall riding boots were soft and well-worn.

  “Your Highn
ess, thank you for inviting me on your daily ride.”

  Ticca’s laugh was like the singing bells of the temple. “Lord Lebuin, you would’ve been terribly put out if I hadn’t.”

  He laughed, too. “Have you told your father yet?”

  Ticca glanced around to make sure none of the grooms were close. “Lebuin, please. We need to pick the right time to approach the emperor.” Her eyes sparkled, and he was sure several devious plots spun through her head. “What about you? Have you told your father yet?”

  He stole a kiss before answering. “Yes, but my grandfather might need some convincing.”

  She danced away from his embrace, giving him a look that said, try to do that again if you dare. “I’m sure we can overcome those obstacles.”

  He started to move after her, but she called for a groom’s assistance. Three tall grooms came in answer to her call. Lebuin laughed and gave her a just wait till we’re riding look. Her smile said all he needed to know, and he contented himself with preparing their horses. The light greenish-brown skinned elven grooms laughed as they spoke to the horses and helped tighten the saddle buckles. One knelt, offering the princess his knee and hand to mount by.

  Ticca performed a rather acrobatic jump into her saddle. The groom lifted his leg as Ticca launched from it, giving her a practiced boost. Ticca landed with that spread-leg jolt she used to make the male riders wince involuntarily. She giggled and pointed to Lebuin. He bowed and executed his own acrobatic mount. The grooms began to lead the horses out of the barn doors, into the wide-open grassy plain behind the palace.

  Wait. This isn’t right. Memories of where they’d been came back to him in a flash. Turning, he saw Ticca was sitting on her horse, staring at him in shock.

  The torch lay on the ground at Ticca’s feet, and was starting to go out. Confused, he picked it up. Ticca had stepped back and was leaning against the stone wall.