by K Larsen
“It’s true then,” she breathes.
“What?”
“You are my dream man.” She gets up and heads to the table and shuffles some papers around, looking for something.
“What are you doing?” I ask, curious. She pulls a paper out of the stack triumphantly and comes back to me.
“Here, read this.” She thrusts the paper in my hand. I look down at a one-page document that resembles a page from a college course book.
“What is this?”
“Just read it,” she scolds.
Delaney’s School of Hard Knocks- Summer Course
Dating Delaney 301
The principles of Dating Delaney
Prerequisites include:
Honest
Attractive
Faithful
Smart
Affectionate
Funny
Responsible
Family oriented
Go with the flow kinda person
Dating Delaney 302
What Makes Delaney Tick
Prerequisites are that one must:
Be good with money
Love movies
Love music
Love kids
Like travelling
Like eating out
Willing to wash silverware
Willing to pamper me
Good in the sack
Willing to dance
Like going out
Like staying in
Love good friends and Cookouts
Be taller than 5’10”
Resemble Jason Statham
Be a good friend
Sing in the car
Dating Delaney 303
Maintaining the Relationship through bettering yourself
By the end of the course you will have:
Own your own home
Have a nice vehicle
Steady Job
Decent salary
In these courses you will learn that Delaney is 90% right in life and you should just submit to that fact. Also, you will gain deeper understanding into the needs and desires of her life. It will help you progress forward with her and let’s face it- the only important relationship you maintain in life is with her (Something you learned in Dating Delaney 101). By the end of this program we expect that you will know what makes Delaney tick, how to avoid pushing her buttons, and how to truly make her happy- which in turn will make your life better, because when Delaney’s happy, you’re happy. Your grades will be based on midterms and finals.
** The fall semester will offer such classes as Learning When to Shut Up, Asking for Directions, Chick Flicks 101 and The Art of Loading the Dishwasher (Lab Fee Extra)
“I wrote it four years ago, after my divorce. Amelia and I laughed so hard we cried while we thought it up. It was, you know, just for shits and giggles, a way to put on paper all the things that make up my perfect dream guy,” she explains.
“I don't look like Jason Statham,” I say and cock an eyebrow at her.
“Okay, so that part is strictly fantasy. I have a celebrity crush on him.” She shrugs her shoulders and smiles at me. “But the rest, Jake, the rest is you. It’s like I wrote it about you.”
“Okay. So…” I prompt.
“So,” she sighs, “if you’ll have it, Jake, I’m giving you my heart. All of it.” She looks so nervous right now. As if I might say I don't want it. How does she not see what I see in her? How could any man pass her up, overlook her?
“Laney, I’ve had your heart awhile now, and I have no intention of giving it back.” Her eyes light up when understanding dawns on her and a smile takes over her face.
“Oh,” she whispers. “Okay,” she says, looking up at me through long black lashes and I can’t do anything now but pull her mouth to mine and kiss her. She groans, always so responsive. God she is so hot. I want to make her feel how much she owns me.
“Laney, in one of your books, what would happen next?” I breathe, keeping her mouth close to mine. Her eyes grow wide and a smile spreads across her face.
“A happily-ever-after, of course, with passion,” she says and bites her swollen bottom lip, waiting.
“How about a massage with a happy ending to start?” I say with a smirk and raise an eyebrow at her.
“That’ll do,” she smiles and whispers in my mouth as I begin slowly stripping her of her clothes and set about giving her a passionate massage complete with a happy ending. I mean, it’s what it’s all about right?
The End
Try another book by K. Larsen
30 Days
Committed
Saving Caroline
Dating Delaney
Tug of War
If you appreciate your romance with snark and spice, perhaps try:
Strictly Business
By Aubrianna Hunter
She is an architect; successful, professional. So when she meets Jake Morgenstern she refuses to let the stubborn, sexist, obnoxious pig of a man disrupt her calm demeanor. No matter how strong, gorgeous and ridiculously appealing he is.
He is expecting a man. So when Jess Wythe turns out to be Jessica, he is thrown off. When he finds that the somewhat frumpy architect is hiding a beautiful woman behind those boxy suits he is even more surprised. Imagine his utter shock when he finds that not only is she gorgeous, but he is drawn to her on an almost visceral level.
The attraction between these two explodes in more ways than one. You're never quite sure if they are going to make love or war. Will they ever find a way to make the fireworks work for them?
Or
Forever
By Eve Newton
Liv Nelson has a history that spans a millennium. She has everything a girl could want. A global empire, money, power, eternal youth, beauty, a car for every day of the week, a wall full of shoes, and men who worship and desire her - Just some of the perks of being a thousand year old Vampire. But with the good comes bad, and she realizes that even with eternal life she may not be able to escape the demons created by her past.
Caught in a web of love and desire, she is torn between the three men with whom she could share forever. Constantine, her maker, Devon, the immortal she made, and Cole, a human actor who has also stolen her heart.
As the demons of her past reveal she is the object of a shocking revelation, which brings with it an uncertain and unwanted future, will she make the right decisions?
I just want to take a moment to say thank you to my friends, my sister and my brother in law- who shall remain nameless to protect them, not because they are innocent. We have a great wonderful looong history together. It’s amazing that we are all still as close as we were 20 years ago and that we all still get along, share the same humor and get to raise our kids together. WOW. Those kids…well, too late now. Thank you for being funny, and inspirational and awesome. I promise, if I make a million off this book- those nameless friends and family will reap bene’s. ;) Thank you to everyone who shares the same humor, and finds this quick read funny. If I in any way offended you- sorry, I guess. It wasn’t intentional. Read on peeps.
About the Author
I am an avid reader, coffee drinker, and chocolate eater who loves writing. I received my B.A. from Simmons College-a while ago. I currently live in Maine, The Way Life Should Be!
I'm working on my sixth novel currently. I've published Saving Caroline, 30 Days, Committed, Tug of War and Dating Delaney.
I have a weird addiction to goat cheese and chocolate martinis, not together though.
I adore my dog. He is the most awesome snuggledoo in the history of dogs. Seriously.
I hate dirty dishes.
I like sarcasm and funny people.
I should probably be running right now... because of the goat cheese....and stuff.
I love hearing from you so please feel free to contact me!
http://ferrarik.wix.com/klarsen
@klarsen_author
https://www.facebook.com/K.LarsenAuthor
K. Larsen, Dating Delaney