Three The Hard Way

by Glenn, Roy

  Cassandra is dead.

  Sometimes I feel like every minute I spent with CeCe, I was being unfaithful to my wife. In many ways, I was. Unfaithful to her memory. Unfaithful to the memory of the happiest years of my life. We were like words and music. Words and music to the greatest love story ever. I didn’t know how to get past all that and move on with my life. Memories of my life with Cassandra occupied both my heart and my mind. And they left very little room for any thing or any body. Still CeCe managed to squeeze herself into that space and fought for position. A position that I denied her, either conscientiously or unconscientiously. And the reason is that I still loved Cassandra and I don’t think that would ever change.

  I needed to get to the point where I could honor her memory, keep her in my heart, in my mind, and still have enough left to give to another woman.

  I looked at CeCe again and wondered if it was going to be her. Or would I continue to keep her at arms distance, or worse, push her away. I wondered what she was thinking. It seemed she could see it on my face.

  "What?" CeCe asked.

  "What?"

  "You’re looking at me like you wanna ask me something."

  "I was just wondering what you were thinking about?"

  "Just thinking."

  "What about?"

  "About you. You know . . . hoping you’ll be all right. Thinking about us; about the stories you’ve been telling me. Thinking about whether that is the life I’m choosing for myself."

  "Is that how you feel?"

  "I don’t. At least not anymore. I’ll tell you something. Until today, I thought that your wife—"

  "Cassandra. You can call her Cassandra, or Shy, whichever you feel comfortable with," I told her. Taking what I thought might be a good first step to letting go.

  "Okay. Until today, I thought me and Shy had a lot in common, but now I see that we really don’t. Shy was gangster."

  "Maybe, but she was very much the lady, just like you."

  "I wouldn’t know it from the stuff you’ve told me about her. The way Bobby made it seem, she was this sweet innocent college girl that fell for you. You know, like me," CeCe smiled.

  "She had a dual degree in management and marketing."

  "She’s still more gangster than I am. I looked at this gun and I wondered what if there was somebody out there, what would I have done?"

  "Let’s hope you never have to find out," I said.

  I began to feel cold all over, lying there on the floor. "CeCe." She looked at me. "I’m starting to get cold. Come lay next to me," I said, hoping to use her warmth. CeCe got up and lay down on the floor next to me.

  "Is that better?" she asked.

  "Yes," I lied. It didn’t feel any better. I felt a little lightheaded, and I closed my eyes. I saw Freeze running toward me. "Yo, Black, wait up," he yelled. At first I thought that I had fallen asleep and was dreaming. But this wasn’t like any dream I ever had.

  I saw myself standing on a corner waiting for Freeze to catch up with me. He looked so young, and so did I. Then I realized what I seeing was the day that Freeze started working for me.

  "Yo, Freeze, what’s up? I thought you were on lockdown for murder?"

  "I got the murder charge dropped on a tech. Cops fucked up the arrest. So I got a year for aggravated and walked. Yo, Black . . . so yo like, where you headin’?"

  I remember the way I just looked at him when he asked me that. I was like who the fuck does this kid think he’s talkin’ to?

  "What I really mean is, like, you know, a nigga like me could learn a lot from a nigga like you." Freeze didn’t make eye contact with me.

  I just laughed at him. "Yeah, like how to stay out of jail."

  "You never been to jail, Black?"

  "Never even been cuffed."

  "That's what I’m talkin’ ’bout. After bein’ on lockdown for damn near sixteen months, I know I never want to go back. Lockdown ain't no place for me."

  "Okay. You come with me. You do exactly what I say. And I never, and I mean never, want to hear you say shit unless I ask you. Got that?" Freeze nodded his head without saying a word. "Good. Now let’s go."

  "No, Black," Freeze said and shook his head. "It’s not your time yet."

  I opened my eyes but they felt heavy, like I could barely force them open. I could see CeCe talkin’ to me, but I couldn’t really hear what she was saying. I could tell from the look on her face that something was wrong. She was looking down at me, and she looked scared—terrified.

  It seemed like she was trying to shake me. And then I saw the tears rolling down her cheeks. A cold chill came over me again. It was hard to keep my eyes open, and then I saw Wanda. "Hello, Wanda."

  "I was wondering if you were going to acknowledge my presence," Wanda said and put her hands on her hips. Then I saw us walking through the airport. Just like with Freeze I could see myself walking next to her.

  "That’s because if you’re here, something must be wrong, and I’m in too good of a mood for you to drag it down." I remembered this day, too. I had just come back from the Bahamas, and she and Bobby met me at the airport.

  "Oh, so I’m a drag now?" Wanda said and looked insulted.

  Then Bobby appeared, and we looked at each other and started laughing. "Part of your job is to tell us shit we don’t want to hear," Bobby said.

  "It’s what you do," I added.

  "So do you want to hear what I have to say or not, Mike?"

  "No, Wanda. I already told you whatever you got to say can wait. Did you talk to Freeze about it?"

  "No, Mike. I haven’t talked to Freeze about it. Freeze is dead and besides it’s about Shy."

  "What about her?"

  "Oh, so now because it’s about Shy, you wanna hear what I gotta say?"

  "Just tell me, Wanda."

  "Shy is dead, Mike."

  I opened my eyes again. CeCe was still crying and yelling something at me. I struggled to hear what she was saying.

  "Baby, please don’t do this. Don’t leave me like this!"

  Even though she was yelling, probably at the top of her lungs, I could hardly hear her. When she jumped up, I could see her run out of the room. "We’re back here! Hurry, I think he’s dying!"

  I heard that shit.

  The next thing I saw was Jamaica and two other men standing over me. "Hold on, Black, the doctor is here," I heard Jamaica say. I never saw him look that way. He looked scared and nothing scared that nigger.

  "He’s going into shock. Get him off the floor," I heard somebody say. I guess it was the doctor.

  I could tell that they had picked me up, and that we were leaving the bathroom. I tried to keep my eyes open. I thought that if I closed my eyes again I would die, but I couldn’t keep them open.

  I heard shooting.

  I saw a man chasing me. He fired at me, and I started running down an alley. I could hear his footsteps coming up behind me. That’s when I saw another one standing there in front of me. I heard more shots. Then Bobby stepped out of the shadows.

  "I can’t let you outta my sight for a minute, can I?" Bobby asked. "Can’t even take a piss in peace? I’m standin’ there with my dick in my hand, and I heard gun shots." I remembered this day, too. This was the day that Bobby saved my life.

  "How did you find me?"

  "Followed the gun shots and banged up cars until I found yours. Knew you couldn’t have gone too far on foot, so I drove around until I saw this asshole goin’ down the alley with his gun out. The rest was pretty easy."

  "Thanks, Bob."

  "Yeah, I know, I saved your life, again. But I’ll tell you what, next time I go to the bathroom, you’re comin’ with me. You wanna act like a little kid then I’ma treat you like one."

  "Yeah, whatever."

  "Black."

  "Huh?"

  "Black," Nick said and shook my arm. "Wake up, Black."

  "What?" I said and opened my eyes.

  "We’re getting ready to land. You gotta fasten your seatbelt."
/>   "How long was I asleep?" I asked, looking at Nick. I remembered this day, too.

  "Not long . . . half hour, maybe."

  Then, it all changed. I was still with Nick, but we were in his car. I knew where I was going, and what was going to happen next. Nick and I were driving to my house the night it happened. And just as he did that night, he handed me his phone.

  "Hello, Cassandra."

  "Hi, baby. You back in the city?"

  "Just got off the plane. What you doin’?"

  "Same place you left me—on the couch, watching TV."

  "How’s my baby?"

  "I just told you, your baby is fine. I’m sitting on the couch, watching TV. However, if you’re asking about our baby, Michelle is fine. She’s at Pam’s sister’s house. I called to check on her a little while ago."

  "Tryin’ to get me alone, huh?"

  "You figured that one out all by yourself."

  "I missed you, baby. I can’t wait to see you."

  "Well, hurry up. I’m here waiting for you." Just hearing her voice made me feel warm all over.

  "You talk to Freeze today?"

  "No, baby, Freeze is dead."

  "Okay. So I’ll see you in about an hour, baby."

  "I love you so much. Never forget that."

  Nick parked in front of the house. I watched as Nick drove off before I turned and headed to the house. I took out my gun and unlocked the front door, turned off the alarm, and stepped inside.

  "Cassandra," I called out, knowing that she wasn’t going to answer because she was already dead. I saw myself go into the living room just like I had that night, and noticed the television was tuned to the local news on CBS. "Cassandra."

  The remote was on the couch and I picked it up to turn off the TV, and headed upstairs. I took my time, carefully looking into each of the upstairs rooms until I got to the last one. I opened the door slowly and stepped inside.

  "Daddy!"

  Michelle came running toward me in a beautiful white dress. I dropped to my knees and hugged her.

  This wasn’t right.

  Michelle was just a baby the night it happened, but there she was, as she is now, a beautiful three-year-old little girl that looks just like her mother.

  "I missed you, Daddy."

  "I missed you, too, baby," I said and held on to her as tight as I could.

  "You were gone so long I didn’t think you were coming back," Michelle said and kissed me several times on my cheek.

  "You know daddy will never leave you."

  "I know," Michelle said and kissed me again.

  "Michelle, daddy needs to ask you something."

  "What’s that?"

  "Where’s your mother?"

  "Mommy’s gone, Daddy. Remember, you told me, it’s just you and me now."

  I opened my eyes and I was in my room at my mother’s house in Freeport. I looked around the room, and CeCe was sitting in the chair next to the bed with Michelle asleep in her lap, wearing that same white dress.

  "Hi."

  "Hi," CeCe said softly, and a big beautiful smile came over her face. "Good to have you back."

  "How long was I out?"

  She looked at her watch. "About twenty hour’s maybe."

  "I see you two have met."

  "Yes, we’re going to be best friends, you know," CeCe said.

  "Really."

  "That’s what she told me. She’s so adorable and such a little lady."

  "You can thank M for that. I guess you’ve met M, too."

  "Yes." And then she whispered. "I don’t know if we’re going to be best friends."

  I laughed a little but it hurt.

  "How do you feel?"

  "It hurts when I laugh, but I’m okay."

  "The doctor said that you lost a lot of blood, but he got the bullet out, and you’ll be fine. But you need to rest."

  "Got that part covered," I said, and Michelle began to move. "Hi, baby."

  "Hi, Daddy." Michelle got up and lay in the bed next to me. She curled up next to me the way she always did and went back to sleep.

  CeCe got up and sat down on the bed next to me. She kissed me lightly on the lips and took my hand in hers. "It’s good to have you back. I thought I was going to lose you."

  "You saved my life, you know that?"

  "I didn’t do anything."

  "Yes, you did. If it wasn’t for you I would’ve died. I’ll never forget that."

  "After you saved my life, it was the least I could do."

  "I need you to do something for me."

  "What’s that?"

  "I need you to get in touch with Wei Jiang. Tell him that Huang Chang, Mei Ai Bao and Xiang Yong are dead."

  "Jamaica took care of that last night. Jiang is on the island now making arrangements for the bodies. He’s been here to see you. He said to tell you not to worry. Cristóbal will be taken care of in time, and he would like to get together when you get back to New York."

  "Kevon?"

  "Jamaica took care of that, too. His funeral is the day after tomorrow. So you see—everything is taken care of. All you have to do is rest and get better."

  CeCe lay on the bed next to me, careful not to touch my wound. I felt content, laying there in between Michelle and CeCe. I closed my eyes and thought about the images I had seen while I was out—Freeze telling me that it wasn’t my time yet, Bobby saving my life, Wanda in her usual role as bearer of bad news, telling me that Cassandra was dead. And then there was Michelle. Mommy’s gone, Daddy.

  I’d had that dream I don’t know how many times since that day. It was different every time, but no matter how it changed, Bart would always be there. And it didn’t matter what I did, he always killed her.

  But not this time. This time neither Bart nor Cassandra were there—just Michelle telling me that Cassandra was gone and it was just the two of us now. I looked over at CeCe.

  Maybe not.

  Two days later we laid Kevon to rest and my people came down for the funeral. At the cemetery, as Kevon’s casket was being lowered into the ground, CeCe leaned over and asked the question that I’ve been waiting for her to ask, but hoped she wouldn’t. "Who is that woman?"

  I turned to her slowly and asked with a straight face. "What woman?" I asked, knowing that we both knew what woman she was talking about.

  "The one over there in the tight blue dress that keeps staring at you. She stares at you until she sees that I’m watching her, and then she starts mean muggin’."

  "That is Jacara Delbridge. You remember; she’s the woman you met at the dress shop."

  "Yeah, her," CeCe said and returned Jacara’s mean look.

  "Since you already know who she is, why you asking me?"

  "To see how you were gonna answer me. I guess I don’t have to ask the next question."

  "No. But go ahead and ask it anyway. Just so everything is out in the open," I said as we walked to the car hand in hand while Jacara looked on with her hands on her hips.

  CeCe leaned close to me. "Are you fuckin’ her?" she asked quietly so Michelle wouldn’t hear her.

  I nodded my head.

  "Is she going to be a problem?"

  "Not for me."

  "You know what I mean. Is she going to be a problem for you and me? Or am I assuming too much?"

  "No."

  "No what?"

  "No, she’s not going to be a problem for you and me and no, you're not assuming too much," I said and squeezed her hand.

  "She the reason you were so desperate to keep me off this island?"

  "No. I told you the reason for that," I said and picked up Michelle. "And now that you ladies are best friends," I kissed Michelle on the cheek and looked around for M, "and you’ve met M, that’s not a problem anymore."

  When we left the cemetery, M had a little gathering at the house. I mingled around for a while and then I took my doctor’s advice and went inside to rest. A half hour later, Bobby walked in. "Mike, there’s some Bruce Lee lookin’ mutha fucka ou
tside; says he wants to talk to you."

  "His name is Wei Jiang. Wanda says he’s connected so show him some respect. Send somebody to get him and have him wait in the living room. Then you come on back here."

  When Bobby came back we talked about the deal with the Chinese and the Cubans. Then I told him how I ended up getting shot. "Maybe I’m gettin’ old, careless and shit, but I didn’t see it coming."

  "I can’t let you outta my sight for a minute, can I?"

  I laughed. "I guess you can’t."

  "You remember the last time I let you go off by yourself; you almost got yourself killed then too."

  "You know I thought about that night."

  "You can’t die on me Mike. I won’t have anybody to talk to. So as soon as you’re feeling better you and I will plan a little trip to Venezuela and cut this crisa-boogie mutha fuckas heart out."

  "Go on and tell Jiang to come in," I told Bobby and he came back to the room with him.

  "How are you feeling my friend?" Jiang asked as he sat down.

  "Much better."

  "That is good to hear."

  "I am sorry about Chang, Mei Ai Bao and Xiang Yong," I said.

  "They will be missed. Chang was like a brother to me. I will feel his loss for many years."

  "I hate to ask at a time like this, but how is Chang’s death going to affect our business with the Cubans?"

  "I’m sorry to say that without Chang, there is no business with the Cubans. The contacts were his; contacts he spent years developing. With Chang dead, the Cubans will most assuredly turn to Cristóbal to do business with."

  "Cristóbal knew that and that’s why he killed Chang."

  "I agree."

  "Where is Cristóbal now?"

  "I know what you are thinking my friend, but Cristóbal has also killed Clemente Eustaquio."

  "I know. He told Chang that before he shot him."

  "He has consolidated power in a town called El Peronil and has a small army protecting him; which makes him almost impossible to get to."

  "Nobody is impossible to get to."

  "This is true. However, now is not the time. Now is the time for patience. But I assure you; this act of dishonor will not go unpunished. In time we will have our revenge," Jiang got up and shook my hand. "Rest well my friend." Jiang bowed slightly and left the room.