18 Months

by Samantha Boyette

  For a moment, I thought about lying. I sighed and let my hair drop. “No, it wasn’t.”

  “Just the first time you had to see her again Monday morning?”

  “No.” I grinned and began to braid my hair. “I take it that wasn’t your first time either?”

  Hannah scoffed. “Oh no. Definitely not.” She grinned. “It’s also not the first time the girl has ignored me afterward.”

  I winced at the jab. “Sorry. I’m just not sure I’m ready for this.”

  “I get it, we were both pretty drunk at that party.” She laughed, shaking her head. “I swear, I’m really not the kind of girl who does that sort of thing. I never would have thought I’d have the guts to kiss you like I did. You’re just ridiculously hot and I don’t know, I got this vibe from you.”

  I turned, putting a hand on her leg as I did so. “I’m fine with that. More than fine. Do you know how amazing it was when I began to think you were flirting with me? I thought my whole body would spontaneously combust when you kissed me.”

  “So what’s going on then?” Hannah’s finger trailed over my hand that still rested on her leg. Sparks shot up my arm.

  “I’m not ready for people to know about me. About me liking girls.” I swallowed hard. My mom would throw a fit. Being gay definitely wasn’t something that got you in with the right sort of people around here. Dad? Well, he might be okay.

  “Your friends aren’t cool with it?”

  “I’m guessing they wouldn’t be.” I knew Madison and Genny would totally blacklist me. “And I can’t even imagine telling my parents. Well, mostly my mom. She would freak.”

  Hannah scooted closer and wrapped her arm through mine, leaning close. I relaxed into her. I couldn’t help myself. Then I remembered sitting the same way with Lana and sat straighter, guilty again for bringing Hannah to the gully. Hannah looked away and sat up.

  “I guess no one knows about whoever else you kissed?”

  “No,” I said softly, thinking of Madison and Genny catching us.

  “How long did it go on?”

  I looked at Hannah, surprised that she could guess it had been an ongoing thing. She raised an eyebrow at me, waiting for my response. A strand of hair blew over her eyes and I resisted the urge to push it back behind her ear.

  “Only a couple months.”

  “That’s a long time to keep it a secret.”

  “Yeah.” I nodded absently. It had felt like Lana was in my life so much longer.

  She let her hand slip into mine. “I really want you to give this a chance.”

  I met her eyes, overwhelmed by her persistence. “Why? I’m no good at it. I’m not okay with it. I don’t want people to find out and I’m terrified they’ll figure it out without me doing anything.”

  “I get it.” Hannah pushed her hair out of her face. “I was like that for a long time too. It gets easier.”

  “Do your parents know?”

  Hannah bit her lip and then shook her head. “No, but my friends back in Chicago do and they were a lot cooler about it than I thought they would be.”

  “You live in a much smaller town now.”

  “All the more reason to give us a chance. I mean, I never really met someone I was super into back home. I didn’t think I’d meet any girls into girls here.” Hannah looked me in the eye. “Life is too short to be unhappy about who you are. I think there’s something good between us, but if you don’t feel it just let me know and I’ll walk away.”

  “I feel it,” I said.

  Hannah smiled and leaned into me again. “Good, then kiss me. We’ll figure the rest out later.”

  So I kissed her.

  Chapter Eight

  I couldn’t wait until after school.

  I got halfway to gym class and made an abrupt turn toward the parking lot and my compact Toyota. I half-expected someone to stop me, but no one did. Instead, I was three blocks away by the time I would have been in the pool. Hannah’s hoodie lay on the passenger seat.

  “A dead girl’s place?” I said aloud and hit the top of the steering wheel. “How the hell would she know that?”

  But of course I’d practically told her when we were there the first time. I’d told her how a friend had brought me to the gully and about the girl I’d been with for a couple months. Hannah wasn’t stupid, she’d clearly figured out that it was Lana. But why send the passive-aggressive note? Why ignore my texts? I’d expected Hannah to be more up front.

  I thought back to our fight last week. Who had told Hannah about Lana and me anyway? My mind ran through Lana’s friends, finally settling on Rachel. That girl never shut her mouth. Not to mention she would probably get a kick out of ruining our relationship after the way I messed up Lana’s life. I needed to talk to Rachel, to convince her to leave Hannah and me alone.

  I couldn’t help but feel relieved though. Hannah was okay and she was still in town. The note in my locker had to be a sign that I should meet her at the gully. There was no other place she could have meant. I’d taken her there a lot over the summer before we told people about us. The first few times had been a little creepy, almost like Lana was watching us, smirking as we fumbled toward a real relationship.

  I reached the field above the gully and parked the car as close as possible. I walked the last fifty feet through the edge of an old vineyard and started down the hill. I thought about going straight down the hill, but the recently fallen leaves would have turned that into a deadly slip and slide. I half-jogged down the path, eager to find Hannah and get any argument over with. If she wanted to yell at me about taking her to the same place I had spent time with Lana, fine. I was going to have something to say about her disappearing for a week though.

  “Hannah?” I called as I picked my way across the stone bank of the creek.

  I’d expected her to be sitting on one of the bigger rocks taking in the last of the strong fall sunshine, but the bank was empty. The clearing was silent aside from the burbling of the creek. I turned at a clatter of stones in the tunnel and smiled. Hannah. It kind of surprised me that she would be in there; it had always creeped her out a little.

  “I just keep waiting for the ogre who lives under the bridge to show up,” Hannah had explained the first time I suggested we move deeper into the darkness.

  I hoisted myself up into the tunnel, managing to avoid getting wet. It hadn’t rained much lately and the creek was only a foot wide trickle under the bridge.

  “Hannah?”

  I was starting to doubt myself. It was clear there was no one in the tunnel. Had I imagined the noise? I peered through to the other side and thought I saw a flash of movement in the woods. I started through, walking along the three foot wide ledge built above the actual creek bed. As I neared the center, darkest part of the tunnel, I tripped. Stumbling, I caught myself on the wall before falling. I laughed nervously and bent to see what I had tripped over.

  I recognized Hannah’s purse immediately and momentary elation filled me. She really was in the gully. Then I spotted a pair of jeans and a pale green T-shirt wadded up beside the purse. They were torn and bloody. They were the clothes she’d been wearing the last time I saw her. Heart beating, I lifted them to see better. Underwear tumbled from the mess, also flecked with blood.

  “Oh, God.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. I dropped the clothes, falling back against the wall and covering my mouth with my hand.

  A branch snapped on the far side of the tunnel and I turned. This time I was sure I saw a flash of movement. I dropped everything and ran. I jumped from the tunnel, almost falling as my feet slipped over the wet rocks below. Water splashed onto my jeans. With my next step, I went down hard on one knee. Shoving myself up, I made it to the edge of the water and then up the path in record time.

  Glancing back at the tunnel, I saw a figure silhouetted against the light streaming down at the far end. I turned and tore up the hill, expecting to hear footsteps gaining on me at any moment. They never came.

>   Chapter Nine

  My car skidded on wet leaves as I turned out of the field and onto what passed for a main road. I got it under control and headed for the highway. I kept glancing back across the field, but saw no one.

  I squealed to a stop at the junction with the highway and fumbled out my phone. After making sure all the doors were locked, I dialed 911.

  “911, what’s your emergency?”

  “Someone’s been hurt.” A gasping sob escaped my lips as I thought of the bloody clothing. “I don’t know, maybe even more than hurt.”

  “Miss, are you in danger?”

  I looked back toward the field, but there was still no one in sight. “I don’t know. There is a girl missing, Hannah Desarno. I just found the clothes she was wearing the night that she disappeared and they were covered in blood.”

  “What is your name?”

  “Alissa Reeves. Please send help.”

  “I’m doing my best, miss. Please tell me the phone number you’re dialing from.” For a long moment, I couldn’t remember my number. Finally, it tumbled from my mouth in a rush.

  “Is that a cell phone?”

  “Yes. Please get some damn cops out here!”

  “Where are you?”

  “In King County. I’m where County Route Ten meets the highway.” I looked around again, but I was still alone.

  “Which highway?”

  “NY Three Fifteen.”

  “Okay, I’ve contacted local law enforcement and they are on their way to you. Please stay on the line until help arrives.”

  For ten nerve wracking minutes, I sat with the phone pressed to my ear. I expected someone to charge my car and pull me from it. When I spotted flashing lights coming up the hill, I breathed a sigh of relief. The cop pulled to a stop across from my car. I hung up on the 911 operator and climbed out of my car.

  “You have to go into the gully.” I pointed toward it. “There’s a tunnel under an old railroad bridge and I found Hannah Desarno’s clothes there.”

  “Whoa, take a breath.” The cop gripped my shoulders. Only then did I notice he was barely older than me. “I have to wait for the other officers to arrive before I do anything.”

  “Right, okay.” I nodded, even though the idea of waiting even two more minutes seemed like too long.

  “I’m Officer Bradley, but my friends call me Jake. You can call me that too if you want.” He let go of my shoulders and smiled. He was maybe twenty-two with gelled dark hair and warm brown eyes. When he smiled, dimples appeared.

  I crossed my arms, leaning against the cruiser. “How long until the others get here?” Adrenaline zipped through me, but with Jake there I felt better.

  Jake shrugged. “Shouldn’t be long. I was up this way, but they have to come from town. Were you close with Hannah?”

  “Yes.” I bit my lip, unwilling to go into any more detail.

  “It sucks, after everything with the Meyers girl. I thought we were done with this sort of thing.” Jake squinted down the road and scratched the back of his head.

  “Yeah.” I hugged myself tighter.

  “Crap, I’m sorry. The chief keeps telling me I need to learn to be more cop and less friend to people, but I can’t always help myself. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that I’m not just an average guy when I have this uniform on.”

  “It’s fine.” I found a small smile for him, because he really did seem nice. “I…I knew Lana too.”

  “Oh, jeez.” Jake ran a hand across his hair, his other hand on his hip. “I’m sorry. I must sound like the most insensitive ass in the world. But, it was her disappearance that made me decide to be a cop.”

  Before I could reply, lights appeared and two more cruisers pulled in beside us. The first one slowed and someone lowered the window.

  “Where are the clothes?” The officer asked.

  I stepped close to the car. “Under the old railroad bridge. It’s past that field up there. I can take you.”

  “No need.” The cop put a hand up. “We know the place. Jake?”

  “Yeah?” Jake stepped closer.

  “You stay here with the girl until we suss out what’s going on down there.”

  “Okay.” Jake slouched, disappointed to be left with babysitting duty.

  A third cop car pulled in just as the first headed up the hill. We watched until the cruiser turned into the field and out of sight. Jake sighed and leaned back against his car, crossing his arms. I stood in the middle of the road, arms crossed against the cool breeze that rustled my long hair.

  “Blood doesn’t mean she’s dead, does it?” I asked the question quietly because I wasn’t sure I wanted anything to do with the answer.

  Jake let out a long breath and uncrossed his arms. “It doesn’t have to mean that. Look, let’s just wait it out until we know what they find out down there, okay?”

  “Okay.” I nodded. He glanced toward the gully. “Sucks to be a rookie, huh?” I asked, trying to distract myself.

  Jake snorted. “You said it. It’s like being a freshman and a little brother all rolled into one. I’ve been working with them for over a year and they still act like I’m some teenage kid.”

  I nodded, unsure what else to say. “Would it be okay if I sit in my car?”

  Jake thought a second before answering. “Yeah, but don’t start it. You can’t leave until after we figure out what we’re dealing with.”

  I slipped into my car, not bothering to close the door. The cool air kept my head clear, and I couldn’t face the stuffiness of the closed car. I took a deep breath and leaned my head back, closing my eyes. As soon as I did I pictured Hannah’s clothes and had to open them again. I looked at my hands, expecting them to be covered in blood from her clothes, but they were clean. They also shook uncontrollably.

  Why was this happening again? It was bad enough when Lana disappeared, but Hannah was different. Sure, we fought some, but I was in love with her. She had been my first for so many things. If she was gone, I wasn’t sure how I was going to live with it.

  My eyes drifted to the passenger seat and I noticed Hannah’s hoodie. I reached for it, thinking I should give it to Jake. Instead, my hand rested on the soft fabric. Once they found her clothes, they would take Hannah’s disappearance very seriously and this hoodie would be evidence. I wasn’t ready for that. If she was really gone, I wanted to keep this small part of her as my own.

  “Here they come,” Jake called.

  I hurried to climb out of my car and join him. Only one car was returning. An older cop with salt and pepper hair climbed out. He was a bit soft around the middle, but in good shape for his age. He hiked his belt up higher as he approached.

  “Hi there, I’m Chief Woodley.”

  “Alissa Reeves.”

  “Well, Alissa.” Chief Woodley squinted off into the distance. “I’m not sure what your angle is here, but you seem to be wasting our time.”

  “What?” I scrambled to wrap my mind around his words. Wasting his time? I’d just found a major clue for him. “What are you talking about?”

  “The only clothes in that tunnel are a pair of mud covered swim trunks and a dirty white T-shirt big enough to fit me.”

  “No, you must not have looked in the right place. Let me take you.” I stepped forward, but Chief Woodley shook his head and put out a beefy hand to stop me.

  “Four of us just searched that tunnel. It’s not that big. We didn’t find anything that could belong to that girl.”

  “What about her purse? That was down there too. Did you search the woods? I saw someone down there.”

  Chief Woodley’s lips drew together in a thin line. He spoke slowly. “We found nothing. My people are down there traipsing through the surrounding area out of caution, but my gut says they’ll find nothing.”

  I felt like crying. “I know what I saw.” I hated the whiny tone in my voice.

  “Honey, I can tell you’re upset so I’ll go ahead and accept that you believe you saw her clothing. Maybe you spooked
a deer and you thought it was a person. Are you close with the girl?”

  “Yes.” I fumed at the idea that I would have mistaken a deer for a person. “That’s why I know those were her clothes.”

  “Maybe you thought you saw them. Everyone is getting a little worried about her, but so far we have no signs that she’s anything but a runaway,” Chief Woodley said.

  “She wouldn’t do that. I know without a doubt that those were Hannah’s clothes. Someone was down there, maybe they took her clothes with them.”

  “Even if there was someone down there, why would they do that?”

  “Maybe they were the ones who put them there.” I raised an eyebrow, sure that I’d made a winning argument.

  Chief Woodley shook his head. “So they just happened to be there when you stopped by?” His brow furrowed. “What were you even doing out here?”

  I thought of the hoodie and remembered the note. “I got a note in my locker today.” I hurried to my car and pulled out the hoodie. The note was still tucked in its pocket. I returned to Chief Woodley. “This belonged to—” I shook my head and corrected myself. “Belongs to Hannah. I found it in my locker this afternoon with this note.”

  I held the note out. Chief Woodley gave me a skeptical look before sighing and taking the note. He read it over and then his eyes met mine. “A dead girl’s place?”

  “Lana Meyers used to like coming out here. I thought the note was from Hannah, but it must have been from whoever hurt her.”

  “You thought it was from Hannah?” Chief Woodley raised an eyebrow. “Why would she send you a note like this?”

  Frustration built in my chest, but I shoved it down. “We had a fight.” I didn’t want to go into details. “I thought it was finally her telling me what she was really mad about.”

  He sighed. “Why would she type it?”

  “I don’t know.” I fought the urge to stamp my foot to make him listen. “But if the note isn’t from her then it has to be from whoever took her.”

  Chief Woodley still wasn’t convinced. “Maybe, or maybe it’s just some kid playing a practical joke on you.”