Our Kind of Love

by Shirleen Davies

  “Yeah, I’ve already learned that. Hey, I had to ask. Thanks anyway—”

  “Hold on, C. I never said I wouldn’t help.”

  “If you’re certain. We don’t need anything pointing back to us, Rave.”

  “I have a couple ideas. Send me all the specifics, including Ephraim’s deadline. I’ll set something up and get back to you. You never know. I might be the one to blow TSR’s unblemished record.”

  “Thanks, Rave. I owe you.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Daddy, Brut says to tell you someone is at the door.” Caid crooked his finger at Linc, signaling him to bend low so he could whisper in his ear. “It’s a girl.” His eyes grew wide when a grin appeared on his father’s face.

  Linc kept his voice low, as if they were sharing an important secret. “Wow. A girl, huh? Guess we should go check this out.”

  Caid’s head bobbed up and down. “Come on.” He took off running, stopping in the foyer, then looked over his shoulder. Linc stood right behind him, his gaze riveted on the woman he’d made love to most of the day, until fatherly duties called.

  Brut nodded at Linc, then Selena, before disappearing down a long hall.

  Walking to her, Linc slid an arm around her waist, pulling her close, kissing her cheek.

  “Selena, I’d like you to meet my son, Caiden. Caid, this is my very good friend, Ms. Kerrigan.”

  Caid stood still, arms at his side, his mouth open. A few seconds passed before Selena walked toward him, bending down and extending her hand.

  “Hello, Caiden. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’d like it if you would call me Selena.”

  Anxious eyes glanced at his father, then back to Selena before he held out his hand. “I like to be called Caid.”

  “Then that’s what I’ll call you. I hope we can be good friends.”

  Linc held his breath, watching the interaction between the two most important people in his life. The magnitude of Caid’s acceptance of Selena crashed into him. Until this moment, he hadn’t acknowledged how much he wanted his son to accept her.

  “Okay.” Caid’s grin turned mischievous as he cast a look at Linc. “Can she fish?”

  Linc couldn’t contain the chuckle or the relief on his face. “I do believe she can. Perhaps we’ll go out on the lake this weekend and test her skills.”

  Caid gave a solemn nod, his face scrunched and lips pursed as if preparing to make an important announcement. His gaze turned to Selena. “You can’t wear a dress on the boat. Right, Dad?”

  “Very true. Pants, shirt, tennis shoes, and a hat are standard issue for boarding my ship.”

  “Want to come see my new pole?” Caid held his hand out to Selena, tugging her after him.

  “I guess I’ll see you in a little bit,” she smiled, glancing over her shoulder at Linc.

  Nodding, he swallowed the lump in his throat. This could be my life, he thought. Two weeks ago, the notion of making a commitment to one woman and becoming a father would have sounded insane. Today, watching his son dash away with Selena in tow, he couldn’t imagine anything he wanted more.

  ******

  Selena stood next to Caid, listening as he instructed her on the fine points of casting a fishing line. His similarities to Linc were obvious. The way his eyes moved, the expressiveness and serious manner were so much like his father, she found herself paying more attention to his voice and actions rather than the words.

  “You want to try?” Caid held the pole out to her.

  “If you’re certain I won’t break it.”

  “Naw. My dad says it’s indes…indes…”

  “Indestructible?” Selena prompted.

  “That’s it. He says it would be pretty hard to break. If I get a big fish, I have to hold tight or he’ll swim away with it.” His lips drew into a thin line.

  Selena plastered on a solemn expression to match his. “I don’t believe that will be a problem, Caid. You’re big and strong. Much stronger than any of the fish I’ve seen in Lake Bountiful.”

  He beamed up at her, then turned toward the house when he heard the patio door close.

  “There’s my dad.”

  Shielding her eyes from the late evening sun, she placed the other hand on her stomach in an effort to control the butterflies bursting within her. Her reaction to him never changed. Even when he’d stood at her door this morning, her heart squeezing in intense pain at what she thought had happened, she still wanted him. Feelings of anger and betrayal tended to slip away when he stood so near. It had taken all her willpower to keep her distance. The words he’d said before leaving to pick up Caid at school still rang in her ears.

  “We will never again jump to conclusions. Agreed?” When she had nodded, he’d lifted her chin with his finger, leaving her with the feel of his soft, caressing kiss. She’d stood at the door several minutes after he left, not wanting to break the warmth of their time together.

  “What are you staring at, sweetheart?” He wrapped an arm around her, drawing her close, tilting his head toward her ear. “You couldn’t be thinking of how we spent most of our day, could you?” His smug smile was all too knowing.

  “I have no idea what you’re referring to, Mr. Caldwell.” The deep blush belied her response.

  “Did you see me cast?” Caid’s undisguised energy drew Linc’s attention.

  “Later,” he whispered before dropping his arm and turning toward his son. “I did see you. Were you able to teach Selena all our tricks?”

  “She didn’t try yet. Maybe you can help her.”

  Linc glanced at Selena, his eyes sparkling. They’d fished several times and he’d learned she could teach him more about catching fish on Lake Bountiful than the other way around.

  “Yes, Linc. Maybe you can help the uninitiated female.” She crossed her arms, her voice full of humor.

  “Well, I—”

  “Mr. Caldwell, I’m going to leave now, unless you need me to help more with Caid.”

  Selena turned to see the woman who’d caught her attention the previous day standing on the patio.

  “Come on, Selena. Let me introduce you to Caid’s nanny.”

  She set the rod and reel on a nearby chair as Linc grabbed her hand, then Caid’s, and walked toward the house.

  “Selena, this is Nina Trahant, Caid’s nanny.

  Selena stepped forward. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Trahant.”

  “Please, call me Nina.” She accepted the outstretched hand, placing her other hand on top in a welcoming gesture. “Mr. Caldwell has spoken of you.” When her eyes crinkled at the corners, Selena realized the beautiful woman was much older than she’d first thought. “All good things,” she added, pulling her hand from Selena’s.

  “I’m still amazed at how quickly you were able to start. I know Linc is very grateful for your help.” She glanced at Linc, hoping she hadn’t overstepped.

  “It all worked out as it should,” Nina explained. “My husband passed away a year ago. After I took care of selling his business, it seemed my days were no longer full. This opportunity came at the perfect time.”

  “Shane got her name from one of our employees. Nina used to run a preschool, then retired when her husband’s business took off. We’re lucky to have her.” Linc looked down at Caid, who’d already grown attached to the woman.

  “Well, I’ll be on my way.” She glanced at Caid. “I have some ideas for after school tomorrow.”

  “You do. What?”

  Caid slid his hand into Nina’s as she nodded at Linc and Selena, then walked into the house, her voice trailing off. “Well, my grandfather was a great Shoshone warrior. Perhaps…”

  Selena leaned into Linc. “She seems wonderful.”

  “So far. I never like to count too much on anything until I’ve had some time to study it. Her references were excellent and the fact her niece works for us played in her favor.” Wrapping an arm around Selena’s shoulders, he guided her into the house. “I hope you don’t mind casual. Caid aske
d for spaghetti with meatballs.”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  Linc studied her face, thinking she was the one who was perfect.

  ******

  “All right, big guy. It’s time for bed.” Linc and Selena finished the dishes while Caid finished the last of his homework at the kitchen counter. “Six years old and already doing homework,” he muttered.

  “Welcome to the realities of elementary school and daddyhood.” She laughed, draping a towel on a hook. “You may want to have Nina work with him before you get home.”

  “Can I watch a movie?” Caid pleaded, his mouth turning to a slight pout.

  “He’s already working me,” Linc mumbled under his breath. “It’s a school night, Caid. We’ll go for hamburgers and watch a movie on Friday.”

  “Yeah!” Caid jumped to the floor. “Will you read me a story, Dad?”

  Linc glanced at Selena, unsure about what to do next.

  “Go ahead, Linc. Read Caid his story. I can let myself out.”

  Staring at her, he still wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted to tuck his son into bed, read him a story, and lay with him until he fell asleep. He also wanted time with Selena.

  “Goodnight, Selena.” Caid waved his hand in the air as he dashed down the hall, oblivious to the tug-of-war his dad faced.

  “Goodnight, Caid. I’m glad I got to meet you.” She clasped her hands together, glancing around, feeling like a third wheel, knowing she needed to leave. Spying her purse on a nearby counter, she flashed Linc a cautious smile. “If you have time, perhaps we can talk tomorrow.”

  He stepped forward, wrapping his hands around her arms. “You aren’t slipping away while I put Caid to bed. You’re staying here so we can talk once he’s asleep. Or a better idea is for you to join me in his bedroom while I read him a story.” All the time he spoke, his hands glided up and down her arms, sparking the desire always hovering between them.

  Stepping away, her smiled faltered. “As much as I’d like to stay, I think it’s best I leave. You need time with Caid, and I have work in the morning. A woman’s got to get her rest, you know.” Her attempt at humor fell flat.

  “You’re not running, are you?”

  “I don’t know what you mean.” Well, she kind of did. Selena had fallen hard for this man, knowing she could do the same for his son. If it didn’t work out, the pain would double. She needed time to think and determine if, after such a short period of time, she was willing to put it all on the line for this relationship.

  “I think you do. You’re trying to decide if it’s worth it. One week, you’re in a relatively carefree relationship without strings. The next, you’re looking at sharing time with me and a young boy. I’m certain you feel it isn’t what you signed up for,” Linc ground out. She wondered if he referred to her or him. “It would surprise me if you didn’t consider backing away.” The accusation in his voice surprised her.

  She leveled her gaze at him, feeling defensive and confused. “I’m not backing away, and I don’t regret the change in your life. We’re all handed surprises, which we deal with as best we can.”

  Crossing his arms, he leaned against a counter, trying to understand why her choosing to take off tonight irritated him. They’d made no commitments, never talked of love or a future, so his reaction made little sense. As much as he wanted to continue giving a relationship with Selena a chance, having Caid in his life had changed everything, including his priorities. Perhaps Selena was right to back off and give them time to adjust to the changes. No matter the physical pleasure they enjoyed with each other, the look on her face warned him that his decision to track her down this morning may have been premature.

  “Unlike when we met, Caid is now my first priority. Every decision I make must include how my actions impact him. Any relationship I pursue now becomes more complicated.”

  His words did more than strike a nerve. They seemed to be a warning. At the very least, his last comment indicated Linc didn’t share the same feelings she had for him.

  “I’d never ask you to decide between Caid and me, if that’s what you’re implying. That would be insane, selfish, and quite unreasonable.” Her voice faltered as the notion he might not want her in his life began to take root.

  Picking up her jacket, she speared her arms through the sleeves, securing the buttons, then crossed her arms, fighting for calm. “I do believe it is best for you to take time with Caid, decide what you want or if you even have time for a relationship. As you so plainly stated, if you decide to pursue a relationship with anybody, you’ll need to consider all the consequences.”

  Linc cringed, hearing his words slung back at him, seeing the stricken look on her face. “Selena, I didn’t mean…”

  She waited for him to finish, but his voice trailed off, as if he didn’t know what else to say. “You have a lot to consider. Regardless of what transpired between us today, you may decide I’m not what you need.” She stopped, taking a moment to control her wavering voice and the ache in her heart. “If having me in your life is what you really want, you know where to find me. I’m only half a lake away.”

  Sliding her purse over her shoulder, she walked through the foyer, glancing down the hall toward Caid’s bedroom—the one right next to Linc’s. Her mind reeled at what had transpired the last few minutes. The idea they might not reconcile because of the changes in his life slammed into her.

  Closing the door, she forced herself not to run to her car. She’d leave, but with as much dignity as possible. She’d climbed from her bed this morning with the knowledge she’d lost Linc, but his appearance had given her hope it might all work out. Driving home, the same bleak feeling of loss overwhelmed her. Swiping dampness from her cheeks, she gripped the steering wheel, reflecting on their conversation.

  Within the span of minutes, she’d gone from the fantasy of pretending to be a part of Linc’s life to the reality of being an outsider. She took a deep breath, trying to calm the trembles seeming to overwhelm her. Being on the outside had been the definition of her life.

  Quiet and serious, she’d always spent most of her time alone, trying to summon enough courage to face each day the way her sisters did. Even Danielle and Lillian had more confidence than she did. If not for her sisters’ support, she’d have spent high school, college, and the years since graduation with little social interaction. The Kerrigan family had always been her safe haven, the only people she could truly count on.

  Blinking away the last of her tears, she pulled into her driveway. Turning off the engine, she stayed seated, too overwhelmed to move. She didn’t want to enter her house alone or sleep in the same bed she’d shared with Linc hours before.

  Making a quick decision, Selena returned to the lake road, driving past the turn to Linc’s house, past the town of Pine Cove, then taking the fork in the road toward the main highway and the town of Cedar Springs. Linc had taken her to the quaint mountain settlement not long after they’d returned from their weekend in Spokane. Their first date.

  Thirty minutes later, she pulled into a small motel nestled in the trees. Having nothing with her except the clothes she wore, some cash, and a couple credit cards, she finished registering and walked into a charming and clean room. Tossing her purse on the bed, she made a promise to herself to think through what was best for her and not let her life hinge on what Linc did or didn’t want. He had legitimate doubts, needed time to settle into his new life with Caid. Her involvement didn’t seem to be helping.

  Their brief interlude had been wonderful, exhilarating—everything she’d hope to experience and never believed she would. Now she had to face reality. A life with Linc might not be in her future. Pulling out her phone, she sent texts to Julia and Caly, telling them of her decision to take a few days off and not to worry. That simple act helped clear her head. Curling into a ball on the bed, she closed her eyes, determined to make a change. Tomorrow, she’d push Linc from her mind. Sighing, a grim chuckle escaped when she realized ridding him from her heart
could take much longer.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “What do you mean you don’t know where she is?” Linc’s voice rose a notch. He’d waited until the following day to find Selena and apologize for being such an idiot. Calling wouldn’t achieve what he needed. Talking face-to-face so he could see her eyes and reach out to hold her was what he wanted.

  He’d had another sleepless night, and it was all his doing. Worse, he couldn’t figure out how such an enjoyable evening had turned into a disaster within minutes.

  “All Caly and I know is she sent us a text last night saying she wanted to take a few days off and telling us not to worry. She’s a grown woman, Linc, and can do what she wants, even if we don’t like it.” Julia stared at him across the desk, seeing the dark circles under his eyes and lines of worry in his expression. “We assumed she’d still be at her house, but you said her car is gone.”

  “No sign of it. That’s why I came here, hoping I could catch her.”

  Julia’s eyes brightened as she laughed. “I don’t believe you have to worry. I’m pretty sure you caught her weeks ago.”

  “Not after last night.” Linc didn’t try to hide his frustration as he pushed a hand through his hair.

  She leaned forward, her arms resting on the desk, her expression serious. “Tell me what happened.”

  A few minutes later, Julia sat back, absorbing what Linc shared.

  “The whole thing is my fault.” Standing, he paced across the room to a bookcase filled with books and family pictures. He picked up one showing the five Kerrigan sisters standing together.

  “That was taken at my wedding.”

  The dull ache in his chest pounded in a painful rhythm as he stared at a smiling Selena, her arms around her two youngest sisters.

  “I’ve never met Danielle and Lillian, although she’s mentioned them several times.” He set the picture back on the shelf, glanced at a few more, then turned back toward Julia.