by J. L. Perry
“Are you sure?” he asks as he gently brushes the hair off my face. “I have never had sex without a condom, though I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to go bareback. I’d like nothing more than to experience that with you.” His reply makes me giggle.
“What in the hell is bareback?” I ask confused.
He chuckles, before explaining. “That’s what you call sex without a condom.”
What a stupid thing to call it.
“Well bareback it is then. That’s if you’re game of course? You know I’ve never been with anyone else but you, so I don’t have cooties.” Mason roars laughing.
“Fucking cooties,” he says as he kisses the tip of my nose. “You’re so fucking adorable!”
He lays his body over mine and smiles down at me. “I love the fact that nobody else has been here but me,” he says as he positions himself between my legs. “I know that you’re not looking for a relationship with anyone Jacinta. But please, promise me if you ever want to do this again, you’ll call me. I can’t bear the thought of anybody else being inside you.”
“I promise,” I whisper. My answer makes him smile, a huge sexy grin, before he leans forward and places his hips on mine. Honestly, I’m pretty sure I don’t want anybody else but Mason inside me either.
He pushes himself inside me in one fluent motion. I feel my eyes roll back in my head as we both moan. “Oh god Red, your pussy feels like heaven.” I love how connected I feel to him when we are together like this. It’s like our two bodies merge into one.
****
We make love for hours, in every position you can think of. Who knew there were so many different ways you could do it? I really have been living a sheltered life. Sometimes, the sex was wild and frenzied. Other times it was soft and sweet. It’s after four in the morning before we finally stop, that’s only because neither of us have the stamina to continue. I’m not ready for this night to end, but we’re both exhausted.
I’m lying in Mason’s arms, sedated and content, when he asks, “You’re not going to sneak out on me again once I fall asleep are you?”
“I wish I could spend the whole night with you Mason.” I really want to stay here with him, but I know I can’t.
“Please stay with me. I’m not ready to let you go yet.” I’m quiet for a few minutes, I’m torn. I want to stay, but on the other hand I know I have to go. If I was to have a nightmare in front of him, shit, I’d friggin’ die of embarrassment.
“What if I have a nightmare?” I ask. “I’d never be able to look you in the face again. I’d hate for you to witness one of my episodes.”
“It’s just a bad dream Red. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. We all have them sometimes.”
“My nightmares are more than just bad dreams Mason. They’re more like suppressed memories of traumatic things that happened when I was a child. When I wake from them, I’m a total mess. Just talking about them with you now is humiliating.”
I can feel the tears coming as I speak. God, I’m so embarrassed. Instinctively my hands cover my eyes, so he can’t see them.
Mason gets up on one of his elbows, he’s leaning over me. He gently removes one of the hands that are now covering my face, before doing the same with the other.
“Oh babe,” he says as he wipes away a tear that escapes from my eye. “You have nothing to be humiliated about in front of me.” How can he say that? I’m so humiliated right now that I want to get up and run from the room.
When I look up into his big chocolates eyes and see the concern that’s plainly visible on his face, a small sob escapes me. Mason pulls me into his arms and holds me tight.
“Fuck babe,” he breathes. “I know you don’t want to talk about what happened in your past, but I want you to know that I had a pretty rotten childhood too. I’ve never told anybody about the things that happened to me as a child, not even Connor. I don’t really want to talk about it now either. I’m only bringing it up because I want you to know that I understand what you’ve been through. I understand, because I think my childhood was a lot like yours.”
I pull back from him so I can look at his face. The sad and tortured look I find, tells me he’s telling the truth. That’s the last thing I expected him to say. The turmoil I see on his face breaks my heart. Maybe that’s why we’re so drawn to each other. Maybe he’s just as fucked up and damaged as I am.
I cup his face in my hands and pull his lips down to mine. I give him the sweetest, softest kiss I can, pouring all of my emotions into it. Even though my own childhood was fucked up, I have this overwhelming desire to comfort him.
We end up making sweet and passionate love to each for the next hour. I’ve never felt such a strong connection to anyone before in my life. After our love making, we fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms, thankfully the nightmares don’t come.
I wake a few hours later. I look over at the clock on the bedside table, it’s already after nine. I need to get home before Connor or Cass get up and notice I’m not there. I’m not up to explaining where I’ve been all night.
Sleeping in Mason’s arms last night was nice. I’ve never slept with anyone like that before. I felt safe. Maybe that’s why I didn’t have one of those horrible dreams. I raise my head so I can look at his beautiful face. He looks so peaceful when he’s asleep. I find myself smiling as I look down at him.
I lean down and brush my lips softly against his, trying my best not to wake him. I gently lift his arm from waist, so I can get out of bed. He tightens his grip, before saying in a raspy voice, “I hope you’re not trying to sneak out on me again Red?”
Damn, his voice sounds sexy as hell when he first wakes up.
He opens his big brown eyes and looks up at me. His hair is all over the place, but he still looks gorgeous. I find myself smiling again.
“I’m not sneaking out. I need to pee. I do have to get going though, I want to get home before Connor or Cass wake up.”
He slides his hand that’s currently around my waist, down to my arse. He moves his other hand up to the back of my head, then pulls me down for a kiss. “Don’t go yet,” he whispers against my mouth.
“I wish I could stay a little longer,” I reply with a sigh, “but, if Connor wakes up and notices I’m not in my bed, he is going to freak out.”
Mason sighs this time. “I suppose your right. I wanted to take you out for breakfast.”
“That’s sweet. Why don’t you come down to my apartment? I’ll cook for you.”
“Okay,” he says deflated. “It’s better than not being with you at all. Just so you know, it’s going to fucking suck not being able to touch you.” That makes me laugh.
He slaps my arse. “Go pee. I’ll gather up your clothes.”
As I’m walking towards his bathroom Mason whistles. I turn around, he’s staring at my backside. “Fuck your arse is fine!”
When I walk back into the room he hands me my clothes. The first thing I notice is my underwear’s missing. My eyebrows raise as I hold my hand out.
“Sorry babe,” he says with a smile, while holding his hands defensively. “I told you last night I was keeping them, I meant it. If this is our last time together, I need something to remember you by.” Sadness washes over me when he says that. I hate the thought of never being with him like this again.
“Okay you can keep them,” I reply with a sigh. “As long as you promise me you won’t do anything perverted or disgusting, like sniff them.” He roars laughing. He crosses his heart before promising me that he won’t.
My heart feels heavy as he walks me to the door. He wraps me in his arms before I leave, and gives me a sweet kiss goodbye. “Thanks for agreeing to spend last night with me. It meant a lot. I’ll never forget it”.
I drop my head. I feel like crying again. Mason puts his finger under my chin and lifts it back up. “You know I want more than that right?” he says as he gazes into my eyes. “If I had my way, I’d have you with me every night.”
I nod
my head. “I wish I could give you more, but I can’t.” I lean into him as I brush his lips with a soft kiss. I need to get out of here before I do something stupid like break down in front of him. I try to pull away from him as I fight the tears that are threatening to fall, he holds me tight. He rests his chin on top of my head. We stay like this for a few more minutes, he exhales a heavy breath before letting me go.
I take a step back. He raises his hand to cup one side of my face. I lean into it. “I will wait for you forever Jacinta,” he whispers. “That’s how much you mean to me.” I give him a sad smile, before turning and walking towards the door. Forever’s an awfully long time…I’m afraid that’s exactly how long he’ll be waiting.
Warm tears are streaming down my face as I walk to the elevator. I’m glad my back is to him, so he can’t see them. Spending last night with him was wonderful, I’ll never forget it. I thought I couldn’t top the first night we spent together. I was wrong.
He’s everything a girl could want. A wonderful lover and father, kind, compassionate. He even feeds the homeless in his spare time, for God’s sake. If I wasn’t so fucked up on the inside, he’d be the perfect guy for me. That’s why I’m so upset, I know we can never be. My scars run too deep to ever have a healthy relationship like that.
I’m grateful Connor and Cass are still in bed when I sneak back into the apartment. I quickly make my way to my room. I need to have a shower and a damn good cry.
****
Mason
That now familiar ache in my chest is back. It stems from knowing I can’t have the one thing I want more than anything—Jacinta. Well, not the way I truly want her anyway. Spending last night with her just confirmed it for me. I’m fucking whipped, well and truly under her spell.
Fuck her and her magical fucking powers!
I know I told her before she left I’d wait for her forever. Fuck me, if I didn’t mean every word of it too. That alone scares the shit out of me. How did I get from never wanting to be in a relationship, ever, to where I am now? I’ll be fucked if I know the answer to that question!
Watching her walk away from me just now was hard. I could tell she was fighting back tears before she left. As she walked towards the elevator I knew in my heart she has no intention of giving us a chance. I couldn’t see her face but her body language said it all. The slump of her shoulders and the now non-existent spring in her step, told me everything I feared.
That’s why my fucking chest aches. I want her, so fucking much it hurts. Why? Again I can’t answer that. All I know is, I’m not going to give up. There’s something between us. Something I can’t explain, but it’s there. She may deny it, but I know she feels it too. I can tell. If she’s not prepared to fight for us, well you can be sure as shit that I am. I’m not giving up on us.
Ever!
I call Rob after Jacinta leaves. He tells me Blake’s having a great time, he’s not ready to come home yet. “I promised him that we could make pizza for lunch,” he says. “You can pick him up around 1:00 p.m.” I chuckle. I know Blake will be up for anything that involves food. I thank Rob for looking after my son and tell him I’ll see him later in the day.
I shower and change before heading to Red’s apartment for breakfast. I’m missing her already, she hasn’t even been gone an hour.
Connor and Cass are both up when I arrive. They’re sitting at the breakfast bar talking to Jacinta, while she cooks breakfast. She looks beautiful, she’s showered and changed into a blue summer dress that brings out the blue of her eyes. Christ, she takes my breath away. I notice her eyes are red and puffy, I want to ask her if she’s alright.
I can’t say anything with the others around, as soon as I get her alone I will.
“What are you doing here so early?” Connor asks. I lie and tell him my apartment feels empty without Blake, so I decided to come to visit them. It’s not really a lie, it does feel empty without him but that’s not why I’m here. I’m here to see my girl, I fucking miss her.
“Why don’t you stay for breakfast then man?” I notice Jacinta smirk when he says that.
Once I’m seated at the breakfast bar, Connor thanks me for getting Jacinta home safely last night. Guilt washes over me. If he only knew what I’d actually been doing with his sister when I brought her home. I hate keeping things from my best friend. Jacinta said she doesn’t want him to know about us, so I don’t want to do anything that’s going to upset her.
“No big deal. I was leaving anyway,” I say.
“Yeah, what’s up with that? Since when do you leave a nightclub at midnight? The old Mason would have stayed out all night. I think being a parent is making you fucking soft.” I tell him to fuck off.
I didn’t get any alone time with Red while I was there. After breakfast, Cassandra helped her clean up, before they disappeared into Jacinta’s bedroom to do girly shit or something. I hung around for a while hoping she’d come back out, she didn’t.
Eventually I gave up and told Connor I was going to head to the gym for a while, before picking up Blake from Rob’s.
“Give me a minute to change, I will come with you.”
****
When we walked into the gym Connor blurted out, “Is there something going on between you and Jacinta?” Fuck! What in the hell do I say to that?
“Why would you ask that?”
“Last night at the club I got a feeling that something was going on. You both disappeared, then came back holding hands. Then this morning at breakfast, you were both making googly eyes at each other.”
What the fuck are googly eyes?
I really hate lying to him so I decide to go with the truth. Silently I pray Red won’t be too angry with me. That’s the last thing I want. I feel like I don’t have a choice. Lying is not my thing.
“Remember that chick I told you about? You know, the one who ran out on me in the middle of the night.” Connor nods his head and chuckles.
“How could I forget? The one with the magical pussy right?” When he realises where I’m going with this the smile drops from his face.
“Fuck no! Please don’t tell me that girl was my fucking sister.” I put my head down, I’m suddenly finding it hard to look my best friend in the eye.
“I’m sorry bro,” I say sincerely. “I had no idea who she was that night.”
When I finally find the courage to look at Connor, what I find makes my heart drop into the pit of my stomach. He is glaring at me like he wants to rip my head off. I go to say something to him, he puts his hands up to stop me.
“Don’t say another fucking word Mason,” he snarls through gritted teeth. “This conversation is fucking over.” He turns to walk away, I grab hold of his elbow.
“Please man,” I beg. “I swear I never would’ve touched her if I knew she was your sister. I’m sorry Connor, I truly am. I wish I could tell you there’s nothing going on between us but I can’t do that. I wish I could tell you that I won’t go near her again but that’s just not possible.” I lower my head again and sigh. The next thing I’m about to say, is hard for me to even admit.
“I think I’m falling in love with her Connor. I don’t want this to come between our friendship but I can’t let her go. I just can’t! She means too fucking much to me to just walk away.” I rub the back of my neck. I don’t know what else I can say.
Connor exhales a heavy breath as he rakes his finger through his hair. “Fuck Mason!” He goes quiet for a minute, before continuing. “I’m not going to stand in your way if this is what you both want. I want Jacinta to find a great guy. Someone who’ll love and take care of her. I love you like a brother man but I need to warn you, if you do anything to fucking hurt her, in anyway, I will fuck you up okay. She’s been through too much. I really hope you meant what you just said because if you hurt her, I’ll fucking hurt you.”
The last thing I ever want to do is hurt her. I know she’s been through hell. We both have. I want to give her life more meaning, not take that away from her.
“The thought of hurting her makes me feel sick inside,” I assure him. “I’d never do anything to hurt her, well not intentionally anyway. I care about her too much to ever do that.” Connor just stares at me for what feels like an eternity, he no longer looks angry. This gives me hope. Losing him as a friend is something I never want to happen. I think he’s trying to process everything I just said to him.
“Are we good?” I finally ask. I’m hoping he says yes. He’s my best fucking friend, I don’t want to lose him.
“Yes, we’re good Mason,” he replies. “Just give me a moment to wrap my head around all this.” I nod at him as a smile comes over my face. I leave him standing there as I walk towards the weights. I’ll give him all the time he needs. I also have to think of a way to break this to Red. Why do I have a sinking feeling she’s going to be pissed with me?
When I’ve finished working out, I walk over to Connor. He’s on the treadmill. “I’m going to head off and pick up Blake,” I say.
“I’ll catch you later.” He fist pumps me.
Once I’m seated on my bike I call Red. I need to give her the heads up, before Connor mentions it. She answers the phone after a few rings.
“Hi beautiful.”
“Hi Mason.” I love the sound of her voice over the phone.
“I need to tell you something. Connor just asked me if there’s anything going on between us.” She goes quiet for a minute. I hear her sigh.
“I hope you told him no.” Fuck!
“I couldn’t lie to him. He’s my best friend.” She goes quiet again. “Don’t worry, I didn’t go into detail or anything.” That makes her giggle.
“I’m sure he appreciated that.” At least she giggled. Maybe she’s not going to be as mad as I thought she’d be.
“I understand.” I hear her exhale. “I wouldn’t expect you to lie to him.”
By the time I get off the phone with her, things are okay, which is a fucking relief. I start my bike and head toward Rob’s place.