by J. L. Perry
CHAPTE
R TEN
Jacinta
I groan in frustration when I hang up from Mason. “What was that all about?” Cassie asks. Shit, going home with Mason last night may not have been a good idea, but honestly though, I don’t regret one second of it.
“Connor knows something is going on between me and Mason.”
“You’re a big girl Jaz. It’s none of his business who you do horizontal limbo with.” God, where does she come up with this stuff? I look at her and frown, we both burst out laughing.
Later that day, Mason and Blake call in for a few minutes, apparently Blake wanted to see me. “We can’t stay,” Mason says. “I need to go into work for a few hours, to fix a problem.” Blake is going with him.
“He can stay here with me. If that’s okay with you, of course.”
“Please dad, please?” Blake begs. “Can I stay here with Jazzi, it’s boring at your work?”
Mason laughs and ruffles Blake’s hair, before looking at me with appreciation. “Sure buddy, you can stay.”
Blake and I are playing X-Box on my bed when my phone rings. It’s my mum. The Cruise boat they’ve been on just docked in Melbourne, she wanted to let me know how their trip had gone. It’s been over a week since we last spoke, it’s so good to hear her voice again.
“I’ve missed you so much mum,” I say excitedly. “How was the Cruise?” She starts rattling of all the details of their holiday. She sounds happy and that makes me smile. “Listen mum,” I interrupt her after a few minutes. “I’m looking after Connor’s friend’s little boy at the moment, can I call you back later? I really want to hear all the details, but now is not a good time.”
Thankfully she understands, then tells me that she loves me. “I love you too mum. I’ll call you back in about an hour.”
I end the call and sit back down on the bed. “Are you ready to get your cute little butt kicked again?” I say to Blake. He doesn’t answer. When I look at him he’s staring up at me.
“Is everything alright little man?” I ask.
“Was that your mum on the phone?”
“Yes it was.” I can tell by the pained look on his sweet little face that he’s thinking about his own mum.
“Do you miss your mum?” He shakes his head adamantly. I guess that’s a no.
“Is your mum nice?” he asks softly. The sad look on his face is breaking my heart. Mason told me that he doesn’t open up much about his past, this is the perfect opportunity for me to get inside his head. I’d love to be able to help him deal with what he went through, before coming to live with Mason. After all, this is why I went to university, to help kids who’ve lived a traumatic home life.
I put down the game controller. “My mum is really nice. I love her very much.” He lowers his head. I continue. Maybe if I open up about my past, he’ll feel more comfortable opening up about his.
“When I was a little girl,” I say softly, “my mum and I lived with my father. He was really mean to us. He’d scream at us all the time, even hit us.” He looks up at me with big eyes. “My mum and I were both scared of him. One day we moved away so we didn’t have to live with him anymore. We were both really happy after that, just like you’re happy now that you live with your dad.” He nods his little head at what I just said.
“Did you like living with your mum?” I ask him. He shakes his head adamantly again.
“Roxy was mean to me sometimes too.” What the hell? She made her son call her Roxy!
“You know you can talk to me about anything that happened when you lived with her? Sometimes talking about bad things that happen to us Blake, can help us feel better inside. I talked to someone when I was a little girl, it helped me a lot.”
When he looks up at me there are tears pooling in his beautiful brown eyes. I wrap my arms around him. “If you don’t want to talk about it today, that’s okay,” I say softly as I stroke his hair. “If you ever want to talk about anything, or if you’re worried about something, you can always come to me alright. I’m your friend Blake and if I can help you, I will.”
“I want to talk to you Jazzi,” he sniffles. This little guy is breaking my damn heart.
“Tell me what it was like living with your mum?” He’s quiet for a minute before he speaks.
“I didn’t like it because she said we were poor. On Wednesdays, someone would give her money. I think she called it a pension.” He’s obviously referring to the ‘Unmarried Mother’s Pension’ she would have received from the government. “She needed the money to buy her special medicine.”
Okay, so the selfish bitch was using her pension to buy her drugs. I can feel the anger rise inside me, but I try to stay calm for Blake’s sake.
“We didn’t have much money for food and if I said I was hungry, Roxy would get mad at me,” he continues. “If she didn’t get her medicine it was worse Jazzi, she’d get really, really mad and when she was mad, she was mean to me.”
“That must have been terrible, if you were hungry all the time,” I say. He nods his little head.
“Roxy’s friend Alley would give me biscuits and lollies sometimes, and tell me to hide them in my room.” If her friend knew he wasn’t being looked after, why didn’t she do more to help him?
“That was a nice thing for Alley to do.” He nods in agreement.
“She was nice to me.” The corner of his mouth lifts sightly in a smile. He has cute little dimples like his dad. The smile soon fades though, as he continues to speak. “Some of Roxy’s other friends who came to our house were mean to me, but Alley was always nice.”
“Did your mum have people come to the house a lot?”
“They would come over sometimes for parties,” he says sadly.
“Did you have fun at the parties?” I ask. The poor little bugger shakes his head again, then starts to cry.
“Oh sweetie,” I say as I hug him tight.
“When Roxy had parties she’d lock me in my bedroom,” he sniffles again. “Sometimes she would leave me in my bedroom all day and night. It was really scary Jazzi! If I needed to go to the toilet, I’d have to do it in my pants because the door was locked.
“When Roxy would come and get me, she’d get angry at me because I went to the toilet in my pants. She said I was a naughty boy and she would smack me. I tried to hold it in Jazzi, sometimes it just came out. It made my belly hurt if I held it in for too long. She’d put me in a cold shower to punish me for being naughty. I wasn’t allowed to come out until she said I could.” My tears are freely flowing now.
“You poor little thing,” I cry. I don’t know what else to say to him.
“What your mum did to you was wrong sweetie, it wasn’t your fault. I hope you know that. You’re a good boy okay. It’s not your fault because you were locked in your room, you didn’t have a choice.” I hold him tightly against me as we both cry.
Shit, I think I’ve heard enough for today.
“I love you so much little man. You didn’t deserve what your mum did to you. Please understand that sweetie. Your mum was the naughty one, not you.”
He cries for a few more minutes, before he finally says, “I love you too Jazzi, I wish you were my mummy.” Oh God, I think I actually just heard my heart break in two.
“I love you too sweet boy. Any mummy would be lucky to have you as their son… I wish I was your mummy too,” I whisper as I kiss the top of his head. After what he just confessed to me, I really mean that too.
****
Mason
A few hours later I arrive back to Red’s apartment. Connor tells me that Jacinta and Blake are in her bedroom. I walk down the hall. Her door is closed. I raise my hand to knock, when I hear her say, “What your mummy did to you was wrong sweetie, it wasn’t your fault. I hope you know that. You’re a good boy okay. It’s not your fault because you were locked in your room, you didn’t have a choice.”
I hear them both crying. Fuck! I don’t know what to do. On one hand, I’m glad Blake is opening u
p to someone about what he’d been through before coming to live with me. He’s said little things here and there, but basically I still have no idea what life had truly been like for him living with Roxy. Hearing them both crying now, really fucks with my head.
It breaks my heart when I hear Red tell Blake she loves him, I feel a lump rise to my throat. When he said he loved her back and wished she was his mummy, tears rose to my eyes. I wish she was his mother too. I’d like nothing more than to have Jacinta as part of our little family. I’m surprised how fast and hard I’ve fallen for her. This little spitfire walked into my life and changed me for fucking ever.
I wait a few minutes, I need time to pull myself together before I go knocking on her bedroom door. “Come in,” she calls from other side. When I open the door, I find them both sitting on her bed. Blake’s in her arms. She quickly wipes her tears away with the back of her hand before looking up at me. She smiles, but it’s a sad smile. It makes my chest hurt to see them both like this.
“Is everything okay?” I ask. She nods her head before turning to face Blake. She wipes his tears away with her thumbs, before kissing him on the nose.
Jesus, she’s so sweet.
“Are you okay little man?” she asks softly. Blake nods his head and gives her a small smile.
“You were right Jazzi. You do feel better when you talk about it.” She kisses his forehead and smiles at him.
“Just remember I will always be here if you ever need to talk again okay,” she assures him. He smiles up at her.
“Okay Jazzi.”
“Why don’t you go and ask Connor to make you an ice-cream? I need to talk to your dad for a minute.” As soon as she mentions ice-cream he jumps off the bed and runs out of the room. If I wasn’t so fucked up by what I heard, I would have laughed at him.
“What the hell just happened in here?” I ask confused.
“Oh Mason,” she cries as she leaps off the bed and into my arms. She starts sobbing, it breaks my heart. I hate to think of what Blake said that would make her this upset. The thought actually makes me feel sick in the stomach. I hold her tight for a few minutes before I speak again. Her heart’s obviously breaking for my son, I love that she cares so much for him.
“The poor little thing,” she sobs. “I can’t talk to you about it now, just in case Blake comes back in here. I want him to know he can trust me, we can talk about it later, when he is not around. You need to know what he went through so you can reassure him that it won’t happen again.”
I kiss the top of Red’s head. I hold her tight and let her cry. “Thank you for being so good to him babe. We’re both extremely blessed to have you in our lives.”
****
Blake and I end up staying at Red’s for dinner. I keep a close eye on the little guy, but he seems to be doing okay. He’s smiling and laughing as we all talk at the table. I’m so proud of him. He’s such an amazing kid.
We say our goodbyes a little later, it’s getting late. I need to get Blake home, to bathe him and put him to bed.
After his bath, I lay down with him to read a book. “I’m glad you talked to Jazzi today,” I say. “You know you can always talk to me too, if you want to buddy. I also want you to know that I love you, I’m glad that you’re living here with me. I’ll always protect you and keep you safe, okay. Do you understand that?” He nods his head and smiles at me. I want to reassure him that I will always care and look out for him. I don’t want him to worry that I’ll ever send him back to his mother, that’s never going to fucking happen.
“I know, you’re a good dad. Not like Jazzi’s dad, he sounds really mean.” It breaks my heart when he says that. I know how much Jacinta hates talking about her past, she obviously opened up to him, to help Blake cope better with what he’s been through. It only makes me love and admire her more.
I text Red as soon as Blake falls asleep. I want to let her know if she’s up to it, she can come over and talk about what happened this afternoon. I also add that we can meet for lunch tomorrow, if she isn’t up to coming over. I’m apprehensive about hearing what happened to Blake, but on the other hand I need to know. The shit that’s going through my mind right now is doing my fucking head in.
I wait for her to respond, but after ten minutes she still hasn’t replied so I presume she must have gone to bed. I decide to jump in the shower. I’ll have to catch up with her tomorrow for our talk.
After getting out of the shower I grab a towel off the rack to dry myself. I hear my phone ping, alerting me I have a message. I wrap the towel around my waist and go grab it off the dresser. It’s from Jacinta.
I’m at your front door, are you still awake?
I quickly walk out of my room and make my way down the hall. I don’t even think to throw some clothes on.
****
Jacinta
When he doesn’t message me back, I presume he’s already gone to bed. It’s been nearly half an hour since he texted me, I’d been in the shower and didn’t get it until I got out. I should have messaged him back instead of turning up to his apartment. I turn to walk away when the door suddenly opens. I turn back around and the sight before me almost takes my breath away.
Mason’s standing there with a huge smile on his face. His hair is wet and he has little droplets of water all over his beautiful chest. Oh, and did I mention he’s only wearing a towel? I have to restrain myself from licking my lips. His body is a work of art. There’s no other way to describe it.
My eyes travel from his chest, down to his abs. I’m not sure, but I think my mouth might be hanging open as well. I follow a drop of water as it runs down his neck and onto his chest. I desperately want to lean over and lap it up with my tongue. I hear Mason clear his throat. I quickly look up at his face and notice one of his eyebrows are raised. He has a sexy smirk on his face.
“See something you like Red?” he asks with a chuckle. I narrow my eyes at him.
“If we’re going to have this talk you need to put some damn clothes on,” I say as I move past him and into his apartment.
“Why don’t you come into my room while I throw some clothes on?” he says with a sexy grin.
“I don’t think so Mason. I didn’t come here for that, I came here to talk.” I hear him chuckling as he walks down the hall.
“You can’t blame a guy for trying,” he calls out. I’m suddenly regretting coming over here. Being alone with him is not a good idea. At all!
He comes out a few minutes later looking sexy as hell in a pair of sweats. “You could have put a shirt on,” I snap. He chuckles again. I’m sure he did that on purpose.
“Why, Red? Are you having trouble controlling yourself around me?” I roll my eyes at him.
God, he’s such a cocky bastard sometimes!
He grabs my hand and leads me over to the lounge. When he sits down he pulls me onto his lap. “Mason,” I snap as I stand up. “If you keep this up, I’m going to leave.”
“I’m sorry Red,” he replies while fighting a smile. “I promise I will behave myself. It’s just hard to be alone with you and not be able to touch you.” I understand what he’s saying, honestly, I feel the same way. But, we’re only friends, touching’s not an option.
He offers me a drink. I decline. We make small talk for a few minutes before I start to tell him some of the things that Blake told me earlier. I notice his body stiffen a few times. When I get to the part about him being locked in his bedroom, he gets up off the lounge and starts pacing the room. He’s rubbing the back of his neck as he walks back and forth. My voice cracks when I get to the part about going to the toilet in his pants.
“That fucking bitch,” he says through gritted teeth. “How could she do that to him? I wish I could have saved him from going through all that shit. FUCK!”
I stand up and walk towards him. When I’m standing in front of him I put my hands on his shoulders. “What she did was wrong, but you know as well as I do, there’s nothing you could have done to stop it. You didn’t even
know he existed until a few months ago.”
He puts his head down and exhales heavily. I move one of my hands off his shoulder and rub it down his arm. I know he’s struggling to come to terms with what I just told him about his son. It breaks my heart too. When Blake explained what had happened to him earlier, sure I cried with him, I tried so hard not to completely break down, because that’s what I wanted to do.
“He is young Mason. If you let me work with him, I’m sure he can get past this, without too much permanent damage.”
He looks up at me. I notice tears in his eyes. Seeing the tears in his eyes instantly make mine come too. I wrap my arms around his waist and hold him tight. I want to comfort him, just like he did for me, when I broke down earlier.
“Unfortunately, there’s some really fucked up people out there,” I whisper. “The three of us just happened to be unlucky enough to have them as our parents.”
He wraps his arms around me as we both cry. I think we cry for Blake, but also for each other. None of us deserved what we’d been dealt as children. I guess we’re all lucky enough to have eventually escaped that part of our lives.
“I was thirteen before I finally got away from my father,” I whisper into his chest. “My mum didn’t put me into therapy until I was fourteen. It helped me, but I think most of the damage was already done. I really think I can help Blake, if you’re okay with that of course.”
Mason pulls back from me and cups my face in his hands. “I would really like that,” he replies softly as he gently brushes his lips against mine. “Thank you for caring so much about my son.” He rests his head against mine and whispers, “Will you stay with me tonight Red?” I nod my head. I think we both need to find comfort within each other. He gives me a sad smile as he scoops me into his arms and carries me to his bedroom.
Mason lays me on his bed and removes his sweats. Of course he isn’t wearing any underwear, he’s already hard as a rock. He pulls down my tights and when he notices I’m not wearing any either, he smiles.
“Why aren’t you wearing any underwear?” he asks.
“I didn’t bother putting any on,” I reply with a shy smile. “Since I always seem to leave here without them anyway.” He chuckles at my response. He sits me up and removes my top.