by J. L. Perry
“I will try my hardest,” I say with a smile. “Goodnight Mason and thanks again.”
“Goodnight beautiful. Sweet dreams. Unless you are going to dream about me, then I’ll have to say naughty dreams.” His comment makes me laugh.
After I end the call, I lay there staring at the ceiling thinking about Connor and Cass. I still can’t believe what went down this morning. My thoughts move to Mason and I eventually fall asleep with a smile on my face.
I’m up early the next morning and go downstairs for breakfast. I desperately want to shower but there’s no point if I have to put yesterday’s clothes back on. I’m grateful that Brooke offers to lend me something to wear home. After breakfast is finished I head back upstairs to the guest bedroom to shower.
It’s just after eight when I arrive back at the apartment. I’m surprised to find Mason, Connor and Blake waiting in the lounge room for me. Mason’s the first to get up. He quickly makes his way over to me before pulling me into his arms. He holds me tight.
“Christ it’s so good to see you Red,” he breathes into my hair. I look up at him and he smiles down at me. “Oh, before I forget,” he adds as he pulls a key out of his pocket. “Put this on your key ring.” I look at the key and then back up at him.
“What?” he asks. “I told you last night I was going to give you a key to my place. I stopped at a twenty-four-hour locksmith last night on my way home, I had one cut for you.”
I smile at him. I didn’t really want a key to his place but, I’m glad that he wants me to have one. Blake and Connor come over next.
“Hi Jazzi.” I bend down and give him a kiss.
“Hi little man.” I look up at Connor and he looks like crap. Again it makes me feel bad. I stand back up and wrap my arms around him. He holds me tight.
“I’m so sorry about yesterday Jaz. I hope you can forgive me?” I smile at him.
“I was hurt that you both kept it from me. You know how much I love you, of course I forgive you. Please just be honest with me next time.”
Connor hugs me again. “I promise Jaz,” he replies as his voice cracks. “I’m just so glad you’re alright, I’ve been going out of my mind with worry.”
I ask the boys if they want some breakfast, Mason says that he needs to get Blake to school. I walk them to the door and give them both a kiss goodbye. Mason wraps me in his arms again.
“I’m so glad your home safe babe,” he whispers in my ear. It makes me smile. “Can Blake and I take you out for dinner tonight?”
“Okay,” I reply. It’s the least I can do, considering he drove around for hours last night looking for me. He brushes his lips softly with mine.
“Great. I’ll call you later.”
Once Mason and Blake leave, I walk into the kitchen. Connor’s in there pouring us both a coffee. “I’m truly sorry I kept this thing with Cass from you,” he says with a sad smile. I assure him again that we’re all good. After he gives me another hug, I tell him that I’m going to wake up Cassie to see if she wants some breakfast.
“She is not here,” he informs me with a sigh.
“What do you mean?”
“She packed her bags yesterday and went back to Melbourne.”
“What the hell would she do that for?” I ask. I’m shocked that she would just leave like that. “She just left without saying goodbye?” I’m dumbfounded.
“She tried to call you Jaz. We all did, but you wouldn’t answer your phone.”
“Did she say anything before she left?”
“Yeah she did. She said she couldn’t stay here anymore, if we both hated her.”
“We don’t hate her,” I snap.
“I know that. I was pretty mean to her yesterday after I found out about the pregnancy. I guess you walking out didn’t help.” Fuck. If I knew she was going to do something so drastic I wouldn’t have left like I did.
“She aborted our baby Jaz,” he says with tears in his eyes. “She told me that when her mum found out she was pregnant, she took her to a clinic to see a doctor. She claims she didn’t realise it was an abortion clinic until it was too late. I was so angry at her when she told me… I said some really horrible things.” He wipes the tear that falls. I wrap him in my arms.
“Now that I’ve had time to think about it, I understand she didn’t have a choice. I can’t believe her own mother would do that to her.”
My heart breaks for him. For both of them. I know how horrible Cass’s mother is though, so that part doesn’t surprise me at all. It would have been a terrible thing for Cass to go through on her own. Tears rise to my eyes just thinking about it.
I wish I would have known, I could have been there to comfort and support her. I know Cass well enough to know that the guilt associated with what happened would have been eating at her for all these years. Keeping something like that a secret would have been so hard. She wouldn’t have got any comfort from her parents. Arseholes!
I pull my phone out of my pocket, I need to call my bestie and make things right. I don’t want her to think that I hate her, because I don’t. If only I had stayed yesterday and talked this through, maybe she wouldn’t have left. I’m all she has in this world, her parents don’t give two shits about her. I’ll admit I was hurt yesterday but I could never hate her. Never!
Cass doesn’t answer her phone so I try again. Thankfully, the second time she answers. “Hello,” she slurs into the phone. I immediately know she’s drunk. Shit, it’s not even 9:00 a.m.
“Cass it Jacinta. Have you been drinking?” She starts to cry.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you Jaz, I’m sorry I killed my baby and didn’t tell you or Connor. I hate my mum. She paid them to hold me down Jaz.” She’s slurring her words so much I can barely make out what she’s saying.
“Please don’t cry Cass,” I plead. “I’m sorry I left yesterday, I could never hate you. I love you like a sister, you’re my best friend remember.” She’s sobbing now. I just want to reach through the phone and hug her.
“I don’t feel too good Jaz,” Cass says. She’s practically inaudible now.
“How much have you had to drink?” I ask because I’m concerned. She’s so far away.
“I drank a bottle of my dad’s vodka and I took some of my mum’s sleeping pills.”
What the fuck!
“How many sleeping pills did you take Cass?” I ask in a panic. She doesn’t answer me. “Cass, Cass!” I scream as I hear a loud thud on the other end of the line.
“Connor,” I call out in a panic. He comes running out of his room.
“What’s wrong Jaz?”
“Cass has drunk a bottle of Vodka and popped some of her mum’s sleeping pills. Call an ambulance, send it to her house in Melbourne. Then call mum and dad, I need them to go to her.” Connor just stands there as he runs his hands through his hair. The colour has drained from his face. He’s obviously in shock, but fuck, I need him to keep it together.
“Fuck Connor, snap out of it!” I scream. “Call a fucking ambulance, she needs us.” He quickly turns and runs back into his room to grab his phone.
“Cass!” I scream into the phone again, she still doesn’t answer me. “Cassie, Cassie!” I cry. “Please wake up. I’m so sorry. Please Cass, please.” This is my worst nightmare. I’m a thousand kilometres away from her and there’s nothing I can do to help. I fall to my knees as the gravity of this situation hits me right in the chest. I continue to call out her name into the phone as I sob. I find myself rocking back and forth as I do. Rocking is something I haven’t done in over seven years.
Connor comes back out of the room. I have no idea how much time has passed. The only thing I’m aware of is the fact that Cass still hasn’t answered me. I need her to wake up and talk to me. I need her…I just need her.
Connor kneels beside me. “The ambulance is on its way to her, so are mum and dad.” I pray that they get to her in time. Connor wraps me in his arms, we both sob.
“I love her so much,” he whispers. “
It’s all my fault Jaz. I screamed at her yesterday, instead of comforting her. I should have never let her leave here. If something happens to her, I’ll never forgive myself.” He’s not the only one who let her down. I did too.
About fifteen minutes later Connor’s phone rings. It’s mum. I still haven’t hung my phone up from Cassie.
“Mum,” Connor breathes. He nods his head as he listens to her. “Okay mum, we’ll be there as soon as we can.”
He looks at me, tears run down his face. I instantly know it’s not good news. My heart is beating out of my chest…I feel like I’m going to be sick.
“It’s not looking good Jaz,” he says as his voice cracks. “She was still alive when they got there, but barely. Mum is in the ambulance with her now, dad is following them to the hospital.” I wipe the tears from my eyes as I stand and grab my handbag off the breakfast bar.
“Let’s go…she needs us.”
Connor doesn’t hesitate, he picks his keys up off the table. We don’t pack or anything, there’s no time for that. We run out of the house and make our way to the airport as fast as we can.
We have to wait two hours for our flight to Melbourne. Two fucking hours—it’s agony. Neither of us can sit still, we both pace the airport lounge impatiently while waiting to board the plane. I call my mum a few more times for updates. First, she tells me that the doctors have pumped her stomach, but she’s still unconscious. The next time, no change. Not long before we board our flight, Mason calls me. I start to cry as soon as I hear his voice.
“What’s wrong Jacinta?” he asks in a panicked voice.
“Connor and I are at the airport. Cass tried to kill herself this morning. She overdosed on vodka and sleeping pills.” The line goes quiet for a moment before Mason finally speaks.
“I’m leaving work now. I’ll swing by my apartment, pack a few things and pick Blake up from school on the way to the airport.” He’s so sweet.
“You don’t have to do that,” I reply, even though I really want him with me.
“You and Connor both need a friend to lean on right now. Please let me be that person babe.” I thank him and let him know what hospital we’ll be at, before ending the call.
It’s close to one in the afternoon when we arrive at the hospital. We called mum again as soon as our plane landed in Melbourne, there was no change in her condition.
When the taxi drops us off at the hospital entrance we run inside. I ask the lady at the reception desk where Cassandra’s room is. My heart sinks when she says the Intensive Care Unit. Thankfully she’s still alive, at least we can be happy about that.
Dad is sitting outside the room when we get there. He hugs us both and explains that mum is in the room, sitting with Cass.
“Has anyone contacted her parents yet?” I ask. I know they probably won’t care but they need to be informed, I guess. My dad tells us that the hospital has notified them though neither one has showed up yet. God, they’re arseholes! Thankfully, Cassie has my family, we all love her.
Cassandra’s only allowed to have one visitor in the room at a time, mum comes out so I can go in and see her. I need to see her first and I’m grateful that Connor understands. My mum wraps her arms around Connor as I walk towards the door, he lets out a small sob. I’d explained to mum on the phone earlier, what had happened yesterday between the three of us.
My knees buckle when I walk into the room. Seeing Cassie lying there unconscious with tubes coming out of her, literally breaks my heart. My poor friend must have been feeling pretty desperate this morning to do this to herself. I feel like I’ve let her down, I feel like the shittiest friend ever.
I lean down and kiss her forehead. My hands are trembling as I brush some hair off her face. “I’m sorry I let you down Cass,” I cry. “Please wake up. I can’t live without you in my life.” Tears are streaming down my face. I take a seat next to her bed holding her hand in mine, silently willing her to open her eyes.
I feel so helpless.
I’ve been in here for a while, I know I need to let Connor see her. It’s so hard to leave her. I want to climb into bed next to her and hug her, likes she’s done for me many a time over the years. “I love you so much Cass,” I whisper as I gently kiss her cheek.
I reluctantly leave the room so Connor can have some time with her. My parents wrap me in their arms when I get out into the corridor, I completely break down. They hold me and let me cry. Mum is crying too.
“Thank you for going to her,” I finally say.
“Honey, there’s no need to thank us. We love her like she’s one of our own.” I’ve always known that, but it’s still nice to hear.
I’m so lucky to have them.
Cassie’s dad arrives a little bit later. “You can all leave now,” he states with a flick of his hand. Pompous arse. “I am having her transferred to my wife’s hospital before the media get wind of this.” The fucking Media! Is he for real? That’s all he cares about—his precious reputation.
“You’re not taking her anywhere,” I say through gritted teeth. “Do you even care that your daughter was so desperate this morning that she tried to take her own life?” Cassie’s dad glares at me.
“Cassandra is an attention seeker,” he snaps. “Frankly, my wife and I are getting tired of her little tantrums.” I don’t see my dad’s fist coming, until it connects with Cassie’s father’s face.
“You’ve had that coming for years you piece of shit,” my father sneers.
Cassie’s dad puts his hand over his bleeding nose. “I will have you charged for that.” Shit, I’m in shock too. Go dad!
“Go ahead,” my father challenges. “I’m sure the media would love to hear what a pathetic excuse for a father you really are.” With that, Cass’s dad turns around and storms away. My dad’s right. Her father has had that coming for years. My mum and dad were always angered by the way Cass was treated by her parents. Cassie’s mother could use a good bitch slap too.
We all stand there in shock as we watch his retreating back. Suddenly, the door to Cassie’s room flies open. I turn to see Connor with a huge smile on his face.
“She is awake. Somebody go and get the doctor.” I immediately push past him and run towards her bed. The tears are falling down my face again, she looks up at me and smiles weakly. I lunge forward and wrap my arms around her.
“If you ever do something like this to me again, bitch, I will fucking kill you myself.” She gives me a weak laugh.
“I’m sorry Jaz,” she whispers with a croaky voice.
“I love you so much,” I cry as I hold her tight. She tells me that she loves me too. Tears fall down her face as well.
Connor walks around to the other side of the bed and grabs hold of her hand, bringing it up to his lips. The way he’s looking at her makes me smile. I can tell how much he loves her. Cass is gazing up at him with the same goofy look on her face.
Suddenly, everything feels right in the world again.
The doctor comes into the room a few minutes later and asks us to step outside. Connor refuses to leave her side. I give Cass one more kiss before walking back out into the waiting room to sit with my parents. The sombre faces we all had earlier, are now replaced with smiles. My parents are just as happy as we are, now Cass is awake.
The doctor seems to be in there for a long time. I’m relieved when he finally comes out. He explains that she’ll make a full recovery, which is such a relief. He says he’d like to keep her in for a few days, for observation purposes. He adds that the resident psychiatrist will be coming in later to talk to Cass about what happened this morning. I think that’s a good idea. After today, as well as everything she’s been through, talking to someone is what she needs.
I’m sitting there chatting with mum and dad when I hear someone call, “Jazzi.” I recognise that sweet little voice straight away. I look to my left and notice Blake running down the corridor towards me. I quickly get up from my chair and run to him. I scoop Blake into my arms and swing him around
. He giggles.
“I’m so glad to see you little man,” I whisper. After I place him back down, Mason pulls me into his arms. “How is she?” he asks, all concerned.
“She woke up about an hour ago. The doctor said she should make a full recovery.” Mason smiles at me.
“I’m glad to hear that,” he says as he tucks a few strands of my hair behind my ear. “How are you doing?”
“Better now that you’re here.” He leans down and brushes his lips softly against mine. We gaze into each other’s eyes before Blake tugs at my pants.
“Jazzi,” he says excitedly, “I went on an aeroplane.” I smile down at him.
“I know, did you like it?” He beams. “It was awesome!” His comment makes Mason and I laugh.
I reach for Mason’s hand and he threads his fingers in mine. “Come and meet my mum,” I say. Of course he already knows my father. Blake grabs hold of my other hand as I walk towards my parents. My mum’s looking at us as we walk towards them, it would be safe to say she’s beaming.
My dad gets up first and shakes Mason’s hand before pulling him in for a hug. “It’s good to see you again son,” he says as he pats his back.
Mason smiles before replying, “It’s good to see you too Mr Maloney.”
“Please, call me Jim. You’re a grown man now. I think you’re a bit old to be calling me Mr Maloney.”
My dad bends down and shakes Blake’s hand as well. “Hello there young fella. My son Connor has told me all about you.” Blake smiles up at him.
“Mason this is my mum, Grace,” I say. He extends his hand but she pulls him into a hug as well.
“It’s nice to meet you,” she replies as she looks over at me and winks. My mum then bends down and hugs Blake. “Aren’t you just adorable,” she says to him. I notice Blake doesn’t shy away from her, which is good.
“This is my mum, Blake,” I say to him. He looks up at me and smiles.