by J. L. Perry
“Wow, no bra either,” he says with a raised eyebrow.
“I just got out of the shower before coming here,” I inform him. “I was going to go to bed just before I noticed your message.” He brushes his lips against mine again.
“Well I’m one lucky bastard then,” he whispers as he sucks one of my nipples into his mouth.
He moves me into the middle of the bed, before crawling on top of me. I open my legs for him and he settles in between them. He gently brushes my hair back off my face as he gazes into my eyes. The look he’s giving me makes my heart race.
“I love you Jacinta,” he whispers as he crashes his lips into mine.
CHAP
TER ELEVEN
Mason
I’ve known for days, maybe weeks that I’m in love with her. From the moment she bumped into me outside the gym, she captured my heart. How did I go from being with hundreds of girls over the years, never feeling anything for any of them, to where I am now? I’ll be fucked if I know the answer to that. All I know is she’s it for me. The one as they say.
I had no intentions of telling her just yet. Right now, as I looked down at her beautiful face, I couldn’t help myself. I needed to let her know how I felt about her. As soon as the words were out of my mouth though, I panicked. I was scared what she’d say, I quickly put my lips on hers so she couldn’t reply.
I have no idea how she really feels about me. When we’re together like this, it feels like she has feelings for me, but is it love? I couldn’t say.
I fucking hope so.
I put all the love I feel for her into our kiss. I kiss her softly and passionately for what feels like an eternity, before gently sliding my cock into her. Being inside her is heaven, definitely my favourite place to be. We both moan as I slowly rock into her. No words are spoken. Jacinta holds me tight as she wraps her legs around me. This is exactly what we both need. I’ve never felt so connected to anyone in my life.
She hasn’t said anything about my little confession. I don’t care though, her knowing how I feel is what matters to me. Sure I’d love to hear her say she loves me too. I think deep down I knew that wouldn’t happen. The fact that she stayed, and didn’t run once I told her, is enough for now.
My mind is still fucked up from things she told me about Blake earlier, but right now though, I’m trying to put that out of my mind. Thinking about what my poor, sweet boy has endured in his short life, breaks my fucking heart. I could tell from the moment I saw the little guy that his wasn’t properly cared for, but I had no idea things were that bad for him. It makes me want to strangle that fucking bitch for what she did to him.
How can a mother treat her own child like that? Sure, Red and I had fucked up fathers, at least we had our mother’s love to compensate. Poor Blake was all alone until he came to live with me. Fuck! That must have been hard for the little guy.
****
Red and I ending up making love for hours. I know, I say I only fuck. All that’s changed now. I love her. When I’m with her like this, that’s what I feel. Love. It’s almost overwhelming. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It’s my way of showing her just how much she means to me.
As I fell asleep later that night, I had a smile on my face. I’m still hurting for my little boy. I’m fucking furious with his crack whore of a mother. But, I have Jacinta snuggled up beside me as she sleeps, that makes me so fucking happy.
I feel her nudge me, I open my eyes. She’s still draped over my chest so I roll onto my side to face her. She smiles at me as I brush the hair off her face.
“Morning beautiful,” I whisper.
“Good morning. It’s just after five in the morning, I wanted to wake you before I left. I don’t want to be here when Blake wakes up, he might get the wrong idea about us.” My heart sinks. I’d been hoping after what we shared last night, she’d give up on this silly friends fucking only thing.
I give her a weak smile. “I meant what I said last night,” I whisper as I tuck her hair behind her ear. “I’m in love with you.” She goes to say something, I quickly put my finger up to her mouth. “Don’t say anything okay, if you still just want to be friends I’ll have to deal with it. I just want you to know how I really feel about you, alright?” She nods her head. Tears rise to her eyes. I pull her against me and hold her tight.
“This doesn’t have to change things between us. I will take you anyway I can have you.” She lets me hold her for a little while longer before again saying she has to leave. She gives me a sweet kiss goodbye.
“I’ll walk you to the door,” I say as I sit up.
“No, go back to sleep. It’s still early. I’ll let myself out.” I really want to walk her out, but I don’t push it.
Once she left, I couldn’t go back to sleep.
****
Jacinta
The tears started to fall, as I walked towards his front door. For years after being free of my father, I never shed a tear. I’ve certainly made up for it since meeting Mason. I’m in shock that he told me he loved me—twice. If I’m honest with myself, I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him too, though I could never allow him to know that. Mason’s a hard person not to love. He has so many endearing qualities, as well as being hot as hell.
The way he made love to me last night… I can’t even find the words to explain it. It was just… Wow. Thinking about it now actually sends shivers coursing down my spine. Every part of me wants to turn around and run back into his arms, and never leave. I love the way he makes me feel when we’re together, it also scares the crap out of me.
Mason has the power to heal me, but he also has the power to destroy me. That’s why I can’t be with him, not the way he wants us to be anyway. There’s a part of me that trusts him, but there is also a part, deep inside, that won’t allow me to ever be put into that position. It’s the fucked up part of me that my father has engrained into me over the years. Never trust a man with your heart. Ever!
When I sneak into my apartment, I get the shock of my life. I crash into Cassie as she sneaks out of Connor’s bedroom, wearing only her fucking underwear.
“What the hell Cass?” I whisper angrily at her. I don’t know why I’m angry, I sort of suspected that they liked each other. I think it’s more the fact they’ve been sneaking around behind my back.
Cass grabs hold of my hand and drags me into her bedroom. “Please, don’t hate me,” she blurts out as soon as the door is closed. Even though I had a feeling they liked each other, I have to admit that I’m shocked I was right.
“How long have you been sleeping with my brother behind my back?” She puts her head down. It’s obvious by her reaction, this isn’t the first time.
“This time or last time?” she replies.
“What the fuck Cassie!” I scream. “There have been other times?” She puts her head in her hands and starts to cry. I sit down beside her on the bed and rub her back.
“Don’t cry Cass. I’m sorry I screamed at you. I’m just shocked, that’s all.” She turns to face me and wraps her arms around me. “I love you. I’m confused. Why didn’t you tell me you liked Connor? I thought we told each other everything?”
I continue to hold her while she cries. “I’m sorry Jaz,” she eventually says. “Please, don’t hate me. You are the only good thing I have in my life.” I continue rubbing her back, as I hold her.
“Oh Cass I could never hate you, sweetie,” I whisper. “You are part of my family and I love you unconditionally, you know that.” She lifts her head and wipes her eyes.
“I love you too Jaz,” she replies with a sad smile.
“How about I make you some breakfast and we can talk?”
“Will you make me chocolate chip pancakes?” she asks, adding a pout for extra effect.
“Don’t push your luck bitch,” I reply. We both laugh as we hug again. “Of course I’ll make you chocolate chip pancakes.”
“You’re the best Jaz,” she says as she squeezes me tight.
Once the pancakes are ready, we sit down at the table. I let her eat before finally saying, “Now spill bitch!” She lowers her head and stares into her coffee cup.
“I’ve been in love with Connor since I was fifteen.” What the fuck, fifteen! That’s about as long as we’ve been friends. “I lost my virginity to him.” Now I’m starting to get pissed. Not just at her, but also at Connor. I’m hurt that she’s been in love with my brother, lost her virginity to him six years ago, and I’m only finding out about it now.
Connor and Cass both know about my trust issues. These are the two people I trust more than anything. Now I find out that they have both been lying to me for the past six years. I’m not going to lie, it hurts. A lot!
I put my head down as I listen to her talk. I’m not just angry. Right now I’m finding it hard to even look at her. “So, tell me how all this came about?” I ask hesitantly. I’m not sure if I really want to know the answer but, on the other hand, I need to.
“You know when I would stay at your house some nights, until it got late? Sometimes when Connor would take me home, we’d kind of get it on in his car.” I look up at her. I’m sure she can see the hurt and anger on my face because she starts to cry again.
“How long Cass?”
“It went on for about six months,” she whispers.
“Six fucking months!” I scream. “You were fucking my brother behind my back for six months and you never thought to tell me.” I can feel my own tears coming now. “I trusted you Cass, I trusted Connor. Now I find out you have both been lying to me for the past six years.”
“Please Jaz,” she pleads. “I wanted to tell you so many times but I was afraid I would lose you as a friend.” I wipe the tears that are now falling from my eyes. “You know that day you found me crying in the toilets at school?” I nod. It was the first and only time I’d ever seen her cry like that. I thought it had something to do with her parents, but she wouldn’t tell me back then why she was crying.
“I needed you so much that day,” she continues, “But, I was scared.” She takes a deep breath before continuing. “That’s the day I found out I was pregnant.” Shit, did I just hear her correctly? Did she say she was pregnant?
“You were fucking pregnant?” Connor screams. We hadn’t noticed he was standing in the hallway listening to us.
Okay, this is my cue to leave.
“I think I’ve heard enough for now.” I stand up and walk towards my room. Cass doesn’t say anything. She has her head in her hands now, sobbing. I feel bad for her I really do, but I’m too angry to comfort her right now. She knows how important trust is to me. They both do!
I walk past Connor, he’s glaring at Cassandra. He looks up at me as I pass him. He grabs hold of my arm. “I’m sorry we kept this from you Jaz.” I narrow my eyes at him as the anger I’m feeling rises to the surface.
“I fucking trusted you Connor, now I find out you were screwing my best friend behind my back.”
“Please Jaz,” he pleads.
“Fuck off.” I pull my arm out of his grip and run into my bedroom. I’ve never spoken to him like that before but, right now I don’t care. I slam my door before throwing myself onto the bed. I lay there sobbing for a while. I can hear Cass and Connor screaming at each other. I can’t stand it anymore so I strip off and jump into the shower, so I won’t have to hear them.
Once I’m out and dressed, I decide I need to get out of the house for a while. I don’t want to be around either of them at the moment. I text Brooke and ask her if I can spend the day with her at the studio. She replies, “Of course,” so I grab my handbag and leave my room.
Connor and Cassandra are both sitting at opposite ends of the table. I can tell they have both been crying, actually, they look pretty devastated. It hurts to see them like that. I need some time to wrap my head around everything before I can discuss this with them.
“Where are you going?” Connor asks as I make my way to the door. Cassandra doesn’t say anything. She just starts to cry again. Shit I feel bad for her, I hate seeing my best friend like this, I need to calm down though, before I talk to her again.
“I’m going out,” I snap as I slam the front door behind me.
“Jacinta wait,” I hear Connor yell. I run towards the elevator. I can’t talk to him. By the time I get down to my car my phone’s already ringing. I look down at the caller ID. It’s Connor. I ignore it. When it starts ringing again, I decide to turn it off. I love Connor and Cassandra, I know I’ll get over this, but they just need to give me a little time. I’m not angry that they’ve been together, quite the opposite actually—it’s the sneaking around behind my back that cuts me to the core. I love them both and know they’re good for each other. Honestly, I hate the destructive sex life they’ve both been living. It’s the fact that they have been keeping it from me that hurts the most.
****
Brooke’s fantastic when I arrive to the studio. She lets me cry on her shoulder for over an hour. We have a long talk about everything I found out this morning. I’m feeling better by the end of it. She always knows the right things to say.
I spend the rest of the morning giving her pole dancing lessons. She’s great at it of course, and picks it up really fast.
Brooke, Michelle and I end up going to a nice restaurant for lunch, before heading back to the studio again. Brooke and I go over a few of the routines from my Monday and Wednesday classes. I also show her what I will be teaching the new students who are joining the pole dance classes on Fridays. Cass has decided to join the class as well, since we didn’t really like the other one we attended.
Later that afternoon, Brooke and I drive to the school to pick up Angel and Chris. She invited me to stay for dinner. We end up drinking two bottles of wine between us, which means I can’t drive home.
They end up inviting me to spend the night. Logan did offer to drive me home, but then there’s the problem of getting back here to pick my car up. Besides, a night away from Connor and Cass will do me good.
I’ve calmed down since this morning and I’m looking forward to going home and sorting things out with them. That will have to wait until morning now. Cass and Connor could probably use the alone time anyway. After Cass’ revelation this morning about the baby, I’m sure they have a lot to discuss and sort through.
Brooke lends me a pair of her pyjamas before showing me to one of their many guest rooms. I kiss her goodnight and thank her again for today before she leaves.
“I love you Jaz,” she says. “I’ll always be here for you if you need me.” It makes me smile. I’m so blessed to have her in my life.
I get my mobile phone out of my purse to call Connor and let him know where I am. He’ll definitely be worried about me.
I’m shocked when I turn on my phone; I have sixty two missed calls, and over forty text messages. I start to scroll through my messages when my phone rings. It makes me jump because I’m not expecting it. I look at the caller ID. It’s Mason.
“Hello.”
“Red,” he says as he breathes out a sigh of relief. “Fuck. Thank god you’re alright. I’ve been going out of my fucking mind.” I immediately feel bad.
“I’m sorry. I turned my phone off this morning because I didn’t want to talk to Connor or Cassandra. I just forgot to turn it back on.”
“Where are you? I will come and get you.” I tell him I’m staying at a friend’s house for the night and will be home in the morning.
“Connor and I have been looking for you for hours. Don’t you ever fucking do this to me again Jacinta? When you didn’t come home once it was dark, I thought something might have happened to you.”
God, I had no idea I’d caused so much drama.
“I have been driving around for the past two hours,” he adds. “I left Blake at home with Connor, I couldn’t just sit around waiting for you to call. You have no idea the things that have been going through my mind.”
I’m touched that he’s so worried about me, even though it’
s unwarranted. “I’m sorry Mason. I didn’t think Connor would involve you in this, otherwise I would have called you.”
“He called me this afternoon when you didn’t come home. He thought maybe you were with me. When I said you weren’t, he explained what had happened. I came straight home from work, and when you still weren’t home by dark, I decided to go and search for you. You should have called me this morning babe.”
“I didn’t want to involve you in my problems. I just needed to get away from Connor and Cass for a while.”
“I am getting you a fucking key cut tomorrow,” he says abruptly. “If you need to get away from them again, you can go to my place and hang out there. I don’t care if Blake and I are not home Jacinta, you’re always welcome at my place.”
“That’s really sweet of you Mason. It really isn’t necessary. I would never impose on you like that.” I hear him sigh through the phone.
“Too fucking bad Red,” he snaps. “I am getting you a key cut and that’s final.” I want to laugh at his attitude, but I know he won’t like that. He’s worried and pissed and I’m sure he won’t see the humour in it.
“Can we talk about this tomorrow Mason? I’ve had a really shitty day. I just want to go to sleep.” I know I’m probably going to get the same lecture off Connor, so I also ask him if he’ll let Connor know where I am.
“Are you sure that I can’t come and get you?” he asks again. “I really need to hug you right now.” I explain that Brooke, Logan and the kids are already in bed, I can’t just leave.
“I’ll give you a big hug when I see you tomorrow,” I assure him. “And thank you for worrying about me Mason.” I can tell by his actions tonight that he really does care about me and my wellbeing. It’s nice and gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. Apart from Connor and my stepdad, Mason’s the only other male in my life who’s ever made me feel like this.
“I’ll always worry about you. Especially when you’re not with me.” That makes me smile. “Do you think you’ll be home tomorrow before I leave for work, I don’t think I will be able to wait until the afternoon for my hug?” That makes me giggle.