by J. L. Perry
“Okay hun,” Cass replies. “We’re here whenever you need us.”
“We love you Jaz,” Connor adds.
“I love you both too.”
When I hear them walk down the hall, I make my way into the bathroom. I want to shower and crawl into bed. As I’m taking off my dress, I hear my phone buzz, alerting me that I have a message.
I want to ignore it, but I don’t. I open it, it’s from Mason. I don’t want to read it, but of course I do.
I am so sorry, Red. X
Seriously, that’s all he has to say? My finger is going a hundred miles an hour as I type my response. Of course, it’s in shouty capitals.
FUCK OFF, ARSEHOLE!!!
After sending my reply I throw my phone on my bed in frustration. The only thing his message managed to do was make me angry. I hear my phone buzz again. I pick it up and read the new message.
Please, babe. I love you and miss you so much. I only kissed her because I thought that guy was your boyfriend. Please believe me.
Oh, he thinks that makes what he did okay. If you love and miss someone, you don’t stick your tongue down someone else’s throat. I’d never deliberately rub something like that in his face.
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
I stand there staring at the screen after I hit send. Another message comes through almost immediately.
I can’t…
This time I turn the phone off. I’ve heard enough from him today. The tears start to fall again as I make my way back into the bathroom. Things between us are going from bad to worse. I’m not sure if we can even be friends anymore.
****
I wake the next morning feeling like shit. When I turn my phone on there’s two missed calls and five new messages. All from him. I decide not to read them. I’m not ready to deal with that today. I’m not ready to see him either. What he did last night hurt me beyond belief.
This time I think it is my turn to run away. I need to get as far away from him as I can. I also need my mum. I don’t need to be back at work until Wednesday, so I’m going to fly home and spend a few days with my parents.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-SIX
Mason
It’s been two days. Two fucking days, and Connor won’t let me near her. It’s making me crazy. He keeps telling me she isn’t home when I go down to their apartment, but I don’t believe him. I must have called and text her over a hundred times. I feel like a stalker. I’ve never chased after anyone like this before. I’m desperate though. I need to make things right between us. I fucked up again and I need her to forgive me. More…than…anything.
I’m finally back at work, but I might as well not be. My head isn’t in it. All I can think about is Red. Rick told me earlier that I may as well go home, because I’m no good to him like this. I’ve just come back from a two week vacation though. I can’t afford to have any more time off. I’ve got so much work to catch up on.
If only I could talk to her, or even see her…I know that would help. It’s safe to say I’m going out of my fucking mind.
Tonight I am going to demand that Connor let me see her. Blake keeps asking for her as well. I can tell he misses her as much as I do.
****
Well, I didn’t get to see Jacinta last night like I hoped. Connor finally confessed that she had gone back to Melbourne for a few days. I wish he would have told me that earlier, but apparently Red had made him promise not to.
He wouldn’t give me any more information about her, either. He also made me promise that I wouldn’t do anything stupid, like show up on his parents’ doorstep. As appealing as that sounded, I knew I couldn’t do that.
She obviously went there because she needed some space. I’m guessing from me. Either way, I’ll give her the time she needs, but if she isn’t home by the end of the week, you can be sure I’m going down to Melbourne to bring her back.
Connor didn’t make me promise not to call Jim and Grace though. So as soon as I left his apartment, that’s exactly what I did. I needed to know something about her. Anything. If I couldn’t see her or talk to her, at least this way I could find out from her parents how she was doing.
Thankfully, Grace was happy to hear from me. She said Jacinta was doing okay under the circumstances, whatever that means. On a positive note, she did say that she hopes we can work out our differences and that she thinks we are good for each other. Of course I agreed with her. At least I still had her mum on my side.
I was sure to let her know that I wasn’t giving up on Jacinta without a fight. She was happy to hear that. Jacinta may not think so, but we are perfect for each other, that I am sure of. Two broken souls becoming one. That would be the best way to describe us. Together, somehow we both become whole again.
Grace asked a lot of questions about Blake, which touched me. I can tell she truly cares for him. He needs good people like that in his life. After all, he only has me and sometimes my actions can be questionable. I think the last few weeks have proven that.
When I got off the phone from Grace it made me think of my mum. I try not to think of her too much, because it hurts. I wish I had the answers. Hopefully, one day I’ll have the courage to ask my dad. Not that he would admit to anything. He is an arsehole. Only a coward would beat a women and child.
Not knowing what happened to her is hard. Sometimes it consumes me. I wish I could have helped her. I shouldn’t have gone to my room when my father saw me watching from the top of the staircase. Maybe if I’d stuck around we could have got her to the hospital. Then maybe she could have been saved. I saw all the blood though, as well as the twisted position that her body landed in. I’m pretty sure the fall killed her.
Just picturing that image in my head right now, makes me want to throw up. I let her down when she needed me most.
****
Jacinta
Spending the last few days with my parents was exactly what I needed. I’ve missed being with them, so much. My mum misses me too, but I can tell she is enjoying all the travelling she’s been doing with my dad. In her old life that was something she never got to do.
Even though I’m feeling crappy because of what Mason did, seeing my mum so happy makes my heart sing. She deserves it after everything she endured living with my father. My stepfather is wonderful to her.
The first few days after I arrived, my parents didn’t mention Mason at all. I know my mum though, so I knew it was coming. She really likes him and was so happy when we got together. So, I knew a deep and meaningful chat was on the cards before I left to go back to Sydney.
Apparently, he called here last night to see how I was. So as soon as we finished eating breakfast, my dad excused himself and my mum let me have it. She wasn’t angry with me, but disappointed. She said that Mason was the perfect guy for me. When I explained about what happened that night in his apartment, she said that was no excuse to break up with him. Can you believe that?
It resulted in us having a long overdue conversation about my father, the monster I grew up with. It was the first time she ever really opened up to me about him. It’s always been a taboo subject between us. Something we never really talked about.
I could see as she spoke how hard it was for her to relive all those painful memories. It made my heart hurt to watch her. I knew she was doing it for me though. To help make me see that Mason was nothing like my father. In my heart I know that, but his outburst that night frightened me. It took me back to a place I never wanted to return to. It made me feel things I never wanted to feel again.
When my mum confessed that my father was violent towards her at the beginning of their relationship, I was shocked. She told me at first he would always apologise for what he did, and promise not to do it again. Of course he did though. Then she fell pregnant with me and her parents kicked her out of their house. She had nowhere else to go. So, she moved in with my father and that’s when the abuse escalated.
We both shed tears as she talked about her past…our past. One thing she said t
hough, really stuck with me. “The thing is Jacinta,” she said, “It is the past and that’s exactly where it should stay. Don’t let your father take anymore from you then he already has. He robbed you of a happy childhood, don’t let me him take that happiness away from you now. If I continued to live in the past I wouldn’t have the wonderful life I have now.”
She was right too. My father has taken so much from me…from both of us. I’d be crazy to let him continue to ruin my life. God, my mum coped with it a hell of a lot more than I did. If she can overcome it. So should I.
As hard as it was to talk about these things with my mum, I’m so glad I did. It clarified a lot of things for me. I’ve always wondered when things started to go bad for her. When the abuse started and why she had stayed with him once it did. She’d never spoken about her parents with me before either. Now I know why.
Later that day I packed up my things and my parents drove me to the airport. When it was time to say goodbye, I got a little teary. So did my mum. Spending the last few days with them have been wonderful. Exactly what I needed. I miss living with them, so much. They both promised to come up to Sydney soon, to stay with Connor and I. That made me happy.
After my mum hugged me for like the tenth time she said, “Just think about what I said earlier. You know I’ll support you no matter what you decide. But, I’ve seen with my own eyes how happy Mason makes you. You deserve someone like that. He loves you sweetheart, and I can tell you love him too. Listen to your heart. Do you think I would encourage you to give him another chance if I thought for one second he would do the kind of things your father did to me…to us?”
“I know mum. Thank you for everything. I’ll definitely give it some thought.”
“Good girl. I love you. Have a safe flight and call me when you get back to Sydney.”
After kissing them both goodbye I make my way to the departure lounge. I pull out my phone and give Connor a call once I’m seated. I need to let him know what time my flight gets in so he can pick me up from the airport.
The whole flight home I think about Mason and, of course, everything my mum said. I’m going to try and sit down and have a talk with him when I get home. I miss him. I want him back in my life. That part at least I’m sure of. As for the rest of it, we will have to just see. Maybe we can take it a bit slower. We kind of rushed in head-on last time.
****
Mason
I’m starting to come to terms with the fact that Jacinta and I may never be. Well, kind of. No not really. I still want her back…more than anything. But, the longer we are apart, the more I come to realise that the chances of getting back together are pretty slim. Especially after the dick move I pulled the other night. I’m really starting to think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it’s just me, because I’m always fucking it up.
Blake spent the afternoon with me at the office once I picked him up from school. We have just arrived home at our apartment. I didn’t even bother stopping off at Jacinta’s floor today. What’s the point? As soon as we step inside, my phone rings. Every time it has rung over the last few days, my first thought is maybe it’s Jacinta. It never is. This time is no different. It’s from a number I don’t recognise.
“Hello,” I say when I answer.
“Is this Mason Bradley?”
“Yes it is.”
“Hi. My name is Mark Sorenson. I work for a law firm that your father Frank Bradley hired.” Instantly the adrenaline in my body spikes when he mentions his name. Why the fuck are they calling me? I don’t give a shit what that arsehole does.
“I have nothing to do with my father,” I state.
“Oh okay,” he says hesitantly. “Well, I take it you’re unaware that your father passed away recently then?” What! Suddenly I feel like I am going to be sick.
“Ummm…no. No, I didn’t know that.” I say in shock.
“Well, that is the reason for my call. First of all, I’m sorry for your loss,” he says sympathetically. Loss…fucking loss? Personally I’m glad the fucker is dead. After what he did to me and my mother, he got off easy in my book. The only thing I’m upset about is not finding out what he did with my mum’s body. I’m absolutely shattered about that. Nothing else.
“Your father had his last will and testament drawn up through us and you’re the sole beneficiary of his estate,” he adds.
“I’m not interested in his money,” I snap.
“Well, we still need to carry out the instructions left in his will. What you do or don’t do with your inheritance, is entirely up to you.” I don’t answer him. Honestly, I’m still in shock. My head is spinning. Eventually he says, “Look, finding out about your father’s death like this must come as a huge shock. How about I call you back in a few days? I’ll give you time to digest this information and then we can set up an appointment and figure out where we are going to go from there.”
“Sure,” is all I manage to say. After I end the call I drop my phone on the counter. I put my head in my hands as I try to come to terms with what my father’s death means. I’m never going to get the answers I’ve been wanting for the past ten years.
With everything else going on at the moment, this is the last thing I need. I don’t know how much more I can take.
****
Jacinta
As much as I miss being with my parents, I’m glad to be back in Sydney. I can tell Connor is happy to have me home too. He picked me up from the airport on his own. He came straight from work so Cass is still at the apartment.
“You’re looking a lot better,” Connor says with a smile and he hugs me. “How is mum and dad?”
“They’re both great. It was nice spending time with them. I’ve talked them into coming to Sydney to stay with us for a few days. Hopefully in the next few weeks.”
He smiles at me as he picks up my suitcase and drapes his arm around my shoulder and leads me out of the airport towards the car park.
“So, how are you really feeling?” he asks. “I’ve been so worried about you.”
“I’m doing okay, I guess,” I reply with a shrug. I want to ask him if he’s seen Mason and Blake while I’ve been in Melbourne, but I don’t.
I’ve been so wrapped up in my own problems lately I’ve hardly had a chance to ask how things are going with him and Cass. I’ve been a terrible sister and friend. Especially with everything that happened when Cass went back to Melbourne.
Cass and I have had a few conversations about what happened that day. We really only skimmed the surface. She did assure me that she’d never pull a stunt like that again, which I was happy to hear. They both have decided to get some counselling now they’re back in Sydney. They seem to be doing okay but it couldn’t hurt.
The city traffic is horrendous this time of day, so I use this time to find out exactly how things are going between them.
Connor tells me they are working through everything that has happened and that things are going great. I can see that with my own eyes though. Every time I’ve been around them in the past few weeks, they’ve been all over each other. His face lights up as he talks about her. It makes me smile. I’ve never seen him like this with any of the other girls he’s been with in the past. It truly makes me happy to see them together.
They were both living such destructive lives before this. Well, a destructive sex life anyway. I suppose they never settled down with anyone else because they were still in love with each other. Even though I had no idea they were together in the past, I’m pleased they have reconnected now.
We finally make it back to the apartment. As soon as we walk through the front door, Blake comes barrelling across the room and leaps into my arms. “Jazzi,” he squeals. I hug him tight. I’ve missed him so much.
I look around the room for Mason. Even though I’m still incredibly hurt by what he did the other night, I miss him. I need to see his beautiful face again. It’s been days. Sadly, it appears that he’s not here.
When I make eye contact wi
th Cass, she gives me a signal with her eyes. She obviously wants to talk to me in private. I plant a kiss on Blake’s cheek, I lower him back to the floor.
“I’ll be back in a minute little man. I need to talk to Cass for a minute.” I follow her into the kitchen.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“Mason dropped Blake off nearly an hour ago,” she whispers. “He found out today that his dad passed away.”
“What!” I shout whisper. “Oh, my god. How?”
“I don’t know. All he said was that he got a call to say his dad had passed away, and he asked if I could watch Blake for a while. He said he needed to be alone. He looked pretty cut up.”
I don’t wait for her to say another word. I need to go to him. I’m not even sure if he is at his place, but I’m going to start there. If he’s not, I’ll go looking for him. I don’t want him to be alone at a time like this.
I search through my handbag for my keys. Once I have them in my hand I drop my bag on the counter. I still have the key to his apartment. I’m not sure if I’ll need it, but I’m taking it just in case.
“Where are you going?”
“Where do you think? He needs me.” The smile that graces her face when I say that, tells me she is glad I’m going to him.
“We’ll watch Blake until you get back,” she says as she hugs me. “I’m glad you’re back Jaz. I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too, Cass.” I give her a smile before I turn and make my way over to Blake.
“I have to go out for a little while, okay. Connor and Cass will look after you until I get back.”
“Will you be gone long?” he asks.
“I’m not sure. If you’re still awake when I get back, we can play the X-box if you like.”
“Okay,” he says with a smile. I give him another hug.
“Good boy,” I whisper. “I’ve missed you little man.”