Playing Ball

by Kerry Freeman

  Disappointment flashed across Alan’s face, but he shrugged it off with a smile. “Tomorrow night, then?”

  “You won’t be able to keep me away.” Ruben leaned closer, daring to tease him a little in return. “Maybe we can watch another Bogart film.”

  Alan’s cheeks flushed and his eyes brightened. Ruben stole a quick, hard kiss, the first time he’d touched Alan like that since the airport. Brett and Mikey started snickering. When he pulled back, Alan was staring at him. His gaze dropped to Ruben’s lips, and then another, slower smile crossed his lips. “Tempting offer. I’ll let you know.”

  Ruben’s heart jumped and a hot surge of awareness made his mouth dry. It was probably a good damn thing he wasn’t hanging with Alan tonight; he’d need every bit of concentration for tomorrow’s games.

  He stuck his head through the SUV window and tugged on Brett’s cap. “If I don’t get to see you tomorrow before your game, good luck.”

  “You too, Uncle Ruben.”

  Matt kicked his legs and waved his chubby hand. “Bye, bye, bye!”

  “Hey, Uncle Ruben, are you gonna kiss my dad again?” Mikey asked, looking at him curiously.

  Alan snorted under his breath and slid into the driver’s seat, his eyes dancing with suppressed laughter, which was a much better sight than the conflict Ruben had seen in them too often. “You’re going to leave me to field all the questions now,” Alan said low enough so only Ruben would hear.

  “Yep, Mikey, is that okay with you?”

  Mikey considered the question with a tilt of a head. “Do I get more pancakes?”

  “Cork it, Mikey,” Alan ordered, snapping on his seat belt. “You are not bargaining my kisses for breakfast. That’s between me and your uncle. And you, don’t encourage him. Mikey doesn’t need it.”

  Ruben winked at Mikey, ruffled Seth’s hair, and then propped his elbows on the open window frame next to Alan. “Sweet dreams, Hartner. I hope the memories don’t keep you up all night.”

  Chapter 9

  ALAN was damn grateful he had one of the first games of the day. He’d had an impossible time getting the boys down after the excitement of the previous day. And he’d lain awake way too late, thinking of Ruben, wishing he were in the bed with him and not a couple miles down the shoreline in his own lonely bed. It was hard to worry about whether or not this was going to work when he was coming to the realization they were already deep into a relationship, and that two quick kisses since the night on the couch were not nearly enough to satisfy him.

  His thoughts had turned from memories to what might happen the next night when Ruben came over, to what Alan wanted to happen. Those thoughts had kept him on the edge of sleep for hours and as a consequence, he was running late.

  “Dad! I can’t find my baseball cap!” Brett shouted down the hallway.

  Alan let out his breath in a huff of exasperation and hauled Matt out of the bathroom before he could get into the toilet paper rolls again. “Brett, I told you to put all your equipment together last night. Check the closet in your room and hurry up.”

  Matt let out an ear-piercing scream as Alan shut the bathroom door. “No,” Alan said firmly. “They’re not blocks and you cannot dress up in them.”

  “Bad! Bad, Dad.” Matt glared at him.

  “Whatever,” Alan muttered and returned to getting dressed. He wasn’t sure how the heck he was going to finish getting the boys together and out the door on time this morning. They were still wired. He really wanted to give Ruben a call to see if he’d come over to help, but he had his own things to take care of this morning.

  “Daddy, how come I don’t get to play?” Seth stood in the doorway, the only one ready, dressed in his T-Ball uniform from earlier in the season. “I want to play too.”

  “Don’t worry, little man. The second season will be starting soon. I’ve already signed you up for it.” Alan tugged on his team T-shirt and grabbed his own cap. “I bet they’ll have something going on at one of the empty diamonds. If you’re good and ask Miss Sarah nicely, maybe she’ll take you and Matt there.”

  The house phone rang and Alan ignored it in favor of catching Matt up in his arms. “Let’s get you changed hooligan, and then we’re good to go. Seth, would you be my big helper and check Matt’s diaper bag for me, make sure there are extra diapers in there?”

  “Sure,” Seth said and took off to his room at a run.

  “Dad!” Mikey yelled from somewhere downstairs. “Phone!”

  “Tell them I’ll call them back.” If it was anyone that he cared to talk to they would’ve called him on his cell phone.

  “It’s Aunt Dawn and she wants to talk to you now.”

  Alan’s thoughts immediately darted to his parents. He only spoke with them on birthdays and holidays. He talked to his sister a little more often as she tried to bridge the gap between him and the rest of his family. Something must be wrong for her to call early on a Sunday morning. “Bring the phone up.”

  “Whoohoo! Found it,” Brett hollered and Alan heard him go barreling down the stairs. He winced, half expecting a collision with Mikey. They were crazy, the lot of them, like a troop of monkeys high on sugar and they were going to drive him mad.

  He set Matt in his crib and grabbed the clothes he laid out for him the night before as Seth upended the diaper bag on the floor. This was getting to be one of those mornings where he understood those old Calgon commercials. “Seth, for the love of God, put everything back in there neatly,” Alan said, striving for a patience that was eroding fast. “Please. We have to get moving.”

  Mikey, still in his pajamas, came in carrying the phone. Alan bit off a swear word. “Get dressed now. If you’re not ready the next time I see you then you get no video games tomorrow and you’re helping me with extra chores.” He turned his attention back to Matt and tucked the phone between his shoulder and his ear. “Hey Dawn, is everybody okay?”

  “I just sent you a couple of pictures to your cell and I want you to explain them,” Dawn said, her voice tense. “Before I have to explain them, please tell me it’s just another misunderstanding like the others.”

  “Now is not really a good time.” Alan finished getting Matt dressed and crouched down to help Seth get the diaper bag together. “The team’s first game is in less than an hour and I still have two hooligans to corral.”

  “It’s important,” Dawn insisted.

  Alan pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and went down the hallway to check on Brett and Mikey’s progress. Brett sat on his bed, his cap on his head and his baseball glove in hand as he watched Mikey scramble into his clothes. Finally. “Okay, I’m checking it now.”

  He pulled up her text message and an image appeared of him and Ruben in a close embrace with Matt between them, his hand on Ruben’s cheek, the picture from the airport that Ruben had told him about. Alan stared at the photo and a rush of warmth filled him, chasing away the irritations of the morning.

  He didn’t know why he’d been so reluctant to look at the pictures. He’d thought about it, but never went looking for them. The photographer had caught Ruben’s profile and the expression on his face—like he was right where he wanted to be—made Alan’s heart swell and a smile come to his face. The second picture was taken a mere moment before the too fleeting kiss and was a wider shot with Brett, Mikey, and Seth arrayed around them in the airport.

  “Well?” Dawn asked.

  His old automatic response, that Ruben was just a friend died on his lips. He wasn’t sure yet how to define what they were but they sure as hell weren’t just friends. “Nothing I say is going to make a difference because Mom and Dad are going to hate it no matter what.”

  “That’s putting it mildly. They are going to freak out. What about your boys? They’re right there. You’re in public.”

  Alan stiffened and stuck his cell phone back in his pocket as he gestured to Mikey to hurry up. “My boys are doing just fine and what’s going on with me and Ruben is nobody’s business but our own. For
crying out loud it’s not like we’re doing anything illegal.”

  “What about Cassandra’s parents?” Dawn asked, trying a different tactic. Alan rubbed his temple before it started to ache. Dealing with his family always set him on edge and Dawn was the most reasonable one.

  “You may be surprised to hear this, but her parents are far more open minded and loving than ours.” Which was why the boys had a much more extensive relationship with them, but maybe he should talk to them and let them know what was new in their life.

  “Look sis, I appreciate your concern and I know you’re caught in the middle, but I really don’t give a damn what Mom and Dad think. I’m sorry, I know it hurts you. I know you want us to be a happy family, but it’s never going to happen. I’m not living the kind of life they want me to lead and when they hear of this that’ll be the end. I’m not willing to change to suit them or to teach my sons that being different automatically means you are less. We’ve been over this.”

  “I know, but this is different. How long have you been carrying on with Ruben? The blog insinuates that it’s been for years. Were you still married?” With each statement Dawn’s voice rose a little higher and Alan’s heart sank. He gestured for Mikey and Brett to head downstairs then went to retrieve the other boys.

  “It doesn’t matter.” Alan cut off her protest and continued. “Seriously, at this point it doesn’t and I’m not going to discuss it with you because the sticking point is that I’m in a relationship with another man. And to make matters even worse, he’s not a white man. Mom and Dad are going to have to deal and if they don’t, if they cut me out even more completely than they already have, that’s on them. I’m not turning my back on Ruben because they’re close-minded bigots. God help me, I still love them, but that’s what they are.”

  Alan slung the diaper bag over his shoulder and picked up Matt from his crib. “And on that note, I’m letting you go because I have a game to rush to and I still need to drop the boys off first.”

  “I don’t understand,” Dawn sighed. “I’m trying to, but I just don’t get it.”

  “There’s nothing to understand. Call me again in a few days when you’ve had a chance to think about it.” Alan followed Seth down the stairs and gave Brett a grateful smile when he saw him carting the equipment out the door to the waiting SUV.

  “Believe me, I will.” Dawn sighed again, a wealth of worry in that sound. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  Alan hung up the phone and tossed it to Mikey. “Put that back for me, little man.” He loaded the kids in the SUV and paused to get his equilibrium back after that call. He was pretty sure Dawn would come around, just as he was absolutely certain his parents would completely cut him off. The feeling had been pretty mutual for years. Alan brought up the picture of them at the airport again and stared at the expression on Ruben’s face. He had his boys, Ruben and a baseball team waiting for him. He didn’t need anything else.

  By the time he got to the field his assistant coach was already there, watching the team members go through their drill and barking out commands to hustle more. To his relief, Charles Eddlington’s team was just arriving so he wasn’t all that late.

  “They’re enthusiastic this morning,” Charles commented after he set his own boys to their drills and walked over to Alan. “I just hope they stay focused; they get excitable during the first game.”

  “They’ll settle down once the game starts.” Alan looked over his shoulder as he felt a familiar gaze on him and met Ruben’s eyes. The black and gray of his uniform stood out among the others, and Alan found himself smiling. The bastard looked completely rested, while Alan was frazzled from lack of sleep, the hectic morning and the conversation with his sister.

  Charles cleared his throat and Alan turned back to the other coach, who was watching him with amusement. “You need to stay focused and not let Martell distract you,” Charles said with a shake of his head. “Unless you want a repeat of yesterday’s entertainment.”

  “Point taken. No more distractions.” He’d tried to get under Ruben’s skin and it had backfired on him, big-time. His team deserved his full attention during their opening game. “We’ll give you a good game.”

  “I’m counting on it,” Charles replied with a clap on his shoulder and trotted off to the opposite dugout. Alan watched the drills continue for a bit before calling his team in. They crowded around him, some anxious, others excited, but by some miracle all of them were paying attention.

  “Now, they have a couple of good pitchers,” Alan said without any preamble. “Watch how that ball leaves the mitt and don’t swing at just anything. Got it?”

  “Yes, Coach!” came the chorus of voices.

  “You guys have everything you need to play a good game. I want you to do your best, play fair, and you’ll make me proud.” Alan held out his hand and the kids piled theirs on top. The excitement in the air was palpable.

  “Who are you?” Alan barked.

  “Green Mountain Boys!”

  “How do you play?”

  “Fair and hard!”

  “And what do we do best?” Alan finished.

  “Play ball!”

  The group broke up with cheers as Eddlington’s team scattered across the outfield, taking up their positions. Alan walked over to the chain-link fence separating him and Ruben, waving to Brett and Mikey, who sat in the stands. Ruben’s eyes seemed even darker, accented by his uniform, and after his long, lonely night, Alan couldn’t get within two feet of him without feeling a little surge of awareness.

  “Good luck,” Ruben murmured, holding up his fist to the gap in the links.

  “You too.” Alan tapped his knuckles against Ruben’s, and his stomach fluttered in response. “I hope you slept well.”

  A smile crinkled the corners of Ruben’s eyes. “I could’ve slept better,” he admitted. “I should’ve known taunting you was a bad idea. Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, just had a hard time getting the boys moving this morning. They were in rare form.” Alan hesitated. He really didn’t want to get into it there, but talking to Ruben was second nature. “Dawn called this morning. She saw the picture the blogger took.”

  Understanding and sympathy softened Ruben’s expression. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. It was a good picture.” Alan had wasted regrets over his parents for years and decided not long after Brett was born there were some things not worth wasting his emotions over. The explosion of their relationship was finally coming to a head, leaving him free to walk away with no lingering filial guilt.

  Ruben searched his face, his fingers tightening around the chain links. “Yeah, it is a good picture.”

  The scent of grilling meat filled the air, and over Ruben’s shoulder Alan saw the local eateries setting up for the crush of players and spectators later. “Will I see you at lunch?”

  “Probably not. I’ll have to get my own team psyched up and ready to play. I’ll grab something before your game ends.”

  Alan nodded and glanced down at the clipboard in his hand, quelling the little spurt of disappointment. The schedule today was a little crazy, and after they participated in both their games, then watched Brett’s, they were going to be worn out. He wanted to ask Ruben if he still planned on coming over later, but he wasn’t sure it was going to happen. For the past week, they’d spent almost no time together outside of work. Every time he brought up a chance to see each other in the evening, it was gently shot down. Ruben was taking his zeal to give him some space too damn far.

  “I’ll see you at Brett’s game, then.” Alan turned toward his team as his assistant coach handed him a list of the batting order.

  “Hey, Hartner.” Alan glanced back over his shoulder and was warmed by Ruben’s grin. “We still on for tonight?”

  “Wouldn’t miss it.” With a much lighter heart, Alan turned back to the game.

  “I THOUGHT they would never get to sleep,” Alan said with a sigh as he sat next to Ruben o
n the back deck and set the baby monitor on the low table between them. “You’d think after the past two days they’d pass out the moment their heads hit the pillows.”

  “They were pretty wound up, but I think you can expect them to sleep hard for the rest of the night.” Ruben was pretty spent himself, with a kind of relaxed languor after a long day in the sun. He lounged in his deck chair, listening the hum of insects around the lake and the song of the frogs. He wanted to talk to Alan about the conversation with his sister, but he didn’t want to introduce any tension into the calm night. They were both mellow and he wanted to keep it that way, enjoying Alan’s company instead of worrying about other people intruding on their lives. Alan looked happy and that was all Ruben needed to know. There would be other days for serious talks, knowing the two of them; they’d be spending half the night going over the games play-by-play.

  “Did you get a chance to speak to Jessica and Jonah today?” Alan asked, popping the top off a beer. He took a long drink, staring out at the moon shining on the dark water.

  “Yeah, they made it to London safe, and they’re having a good time reconnecting with their cousins. Jessica is eager to try some real fish and chips, and Jonah is dying to see the Tower of London.”

  “That sounds like your two. I miss them. At least we still have the trip to San Juan together.” Alan scrubbed a hand over his face and leaned back in his chair to take another long drink. “With no worries about your mom freaking out over a blog.”

  “My mom loves you. She thinks you keep me grounded and she would be right,” Ruben said, taking a beer for himself. Alan did not deserve to be harassed by his own family and their relationship was still in such an uncertain stage. He felt like they were on the cusp of starting an amazing run together and it scared him that a phone call could possibly stall them. “I wish I could’ve spared you that.”