Honest Love

by Cm Hutton

  The rest of my weekend was fairly quiet. Other than taking a little time to wallow in my lonely house, I got outside and explored a little more of San Diego. I drove several miles along the 59-Mile Scenic drive and toward Sunset Cliffs. I’d taken the drive before and loved the calmness that settled over me as I drove. San Diego was a beautiful city and I was grateful I’d made the choice to move here. By Monday morning, I was ready to sacrifice myself for the greater good of…well, me. I’d arrived first and went to my office to look over my scheduled patients. Several were leaving town for the holidays or had preferred to schedule their appointments for after the New Year. I went to Allison’s desk and logged into the clinic’s overall schedule and made notes on who was booked up and their patient’s names. I wanted to do what I could to help and stay busy.

  At 7:45am, I heard the back door open.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, it’s just me here, Allison.” I yelled from the desk.

  Making her way down the hall and around the corner to the front of the clinic, she said, “What the hell are you doing here before me? You robbing the place?”

  I snorted out a laugh. “You caught me. This is totally the place to make my fortune…right here!”

  “No, really, what are you doing here so early?” The look of concern on her face made me annoyed.

  “Stop! I’m here because I wanted to look over everyone’s schedule and maybe take over a few patients so other therapists could actually enjoy their holidays. I have nothing going on with the kids gone. They’ve only been gone a week and I’m going insane. I need to stay busy. So instead of interrogating me and looking at me like I’m some pathetic, lonely sack of shit, how about you help me out. Let’s see who could use my expertise and which of our therapists need the time off.”

  “Calm your sad little tits, Mama! Damn. It just freaked me out that someone was here before me. I really thought you were resigning or something and I was about to kick your scrawny ass.”

  “Oh, please, think again. Look who is pregnant and who is closing in on forty and in the best shape of her life! Kick my ass…right!” I mumbled.

  Allison laughed as she rubbed her belly and said, “Well, just wait till I have this little monster. You’ll see. I’m one mean bitch.”

  “I already know that. Now, come on. Let’s take a look before everyone else gets here.”

  We spent the next hour working through schedules rearranging where we could. I had chosen to not only continue seeing my patients, but also as many of the other therapists’ patients as I could fit in. I knew that several ladies around the office were stressed about working over the long Christmas break while their kids had off from school. Three weeks of sitters and then all the holiday stuff would be pretty stressful. It really was a win-win for all of us. I just hoped the patients would go for it.

  Melissa was first through the door, just as I’d expected. She was great to work for and knowing what I did about her, she didn’t want all the details of what I was doing. She’d want the final plan and all would be just fine with her. She hated when people talked her to death about what they were ‘going to do.’

  “Well, what are you two ladies up to? I can tell it’s no good by the shocked look on your faces.”

  We both laughed and I started my speech. When I was done, all Melissa had to say was, “Are you sure, Claire? Make sure you really want to take this on.”

  “I do, Melissa. I need to stay busy these next few weeks.”

  “Okay. Well, I know the rest of us will appreciate it. I want you to promise me that if it gets overwhelming, you’ll tell me. Please. We haven’t known you long, but we all care about you and want to see you happy.”

  I barely held back my tears hearing her say that to me. My mostly stoic boss was never emotional. For her to admit that out loud, was pretty huge. “Thank you, Melissa. That means more than you know.”

  She gripped my forearm and said, “I’ve never been one to share much about my life, but trust me when I say I understand. Starting over is incredibly hard and can even be humiliating at times.” She paused. “Just promise me you’ll talk to me if you need anything.”

  I reached out and hugged my boss…my friend and whispered ‘thank you.’ That was all I could muster. Melissa squeezed me back and I felt her sincere affection for me. Then with a gentle push, she leaned away and gave me a smile before she turned to Allison and said, “Just print me out a copy of all the changes.”

  Allison nodded, not saying a word. That was when I noticed her tears. I guess it was true that they rarely saw the softer side of Melissa. “Claire, I’ll make sure the other therapists graciously take this gift you’re giving to them.” And with that, she walked away, down the hall to her office…closing the door without another word.

  I let out my breath and grinned at Allison. “Shit. That was a little more intense than I expected it to be.”

  Swiping the tears away, she said, “I’ve worked for her almost five years and have never heard her talk about any kind of old heartache. She’s so crazy in love with her hubby, who would’ve ever guessed she had what sounded like some serious history.”

  “Really? Well, I’m grateful she understands without me having to explain it over and over.”

  Allison patted my arm and said, “Let me get all this put together and I’ll make sure your schedule is ready.”

  “Thank you.” I was blessed. I couldn’t have asked for a better place to work.

  *****

  My first patient of the day was a regular. Andy Stephens was a thirty-eight year old ex-professional baseball player that tore his shoulder up in a skiing accident. It was sad, really. Here the guy went his whole professional career without injuries and on a ski vacation with his wife and kids, he’d torn his rotator cuff. I’d been taking care of him for the last month following his surgery and although he was slowly getting better, he was impatient. Unlike some of the other athletes I’d helped over the years, he was kind and respectful—never allowing his frustration to be directed at me.

  “Hey, morning. How ya feeling?” I loved turning on my Texas accent with some of my patients.

  “Good…I think?”

  I turned to glare at Andy. “What did you do?”

  “Well, I had a bit of yard work to take care of over the weekend. I may have overdone it a bit.”

  I growled…yes, growled.

  “Andy? I’m a professional, but I may have to kick your ass if you destroyed all the hard work we’ve been doing on your shoulder. Aren’t you some rich baseball player who could hire anyone to take care of your yard?”

  He laughed. “Well, I might have a bit of money, but I’m no fool. I don’t waste it on hiring people to do things I’m perfectly capable of doing.”

  “But the difference is you are hurt right now. That trumps all this macho crap.” I waved my hand up and down at him.

  “You’re right.” He said, holding his hands up in surrender. “And just to make you feel more powerful, Karen is pissed as hell at me too.”

  “Well, that does make me feel a bit better. Now, let’s see how much of my wonderful work you’ve screwed up.”

  I spent the better part of the hour-long session re-evaluating Andy’s shoulder. He hadn’t done too much damage, but enough that it probably set his recovery back by a few weeks. I didn’t scold him like I wanted to. He was just such a man!

  “So, Claire, how are you?” Andy was a nosy, busy-body. He knew the ‘Cliff’s Notes’ of my story and was always asking how I was doing. His wife, Karen did too.

  “I’m good. The kids are off to Houston to spend the holidays with Jake, so it’ll be a little lonely for me, but I’ll be okay.”

  “Well, you know you’re always welcome to come hang out with our rowdy bunch.”

  “Thank you. I’ll be fine. I plan on doing a little sightseeing, some reading and who knows what else. Hell, I haven’t been able to just relax and take a breath in years, you know?” I was full of shit and he knew it.
<
br />   “Yeah, well, the invitation is open and if you need to just escape, get out of town, we have a huge, really nice place in the Bahamas. I know…ridiculous, but it’s actually a house I inherited when my grandparents died. I was an only child and my parents didn’t want it.” He shrugged, almost embarrassed. That was what I loved about Andy and Karen. They were the most down to earth people, considering they were filthy rich and he was famous in the sport world.

  “You’re sweet. I’ll consider it. Thanks, Andy.”

  “All you have to do is call. Karen thinks the world of you, especially knowing your story.”

  “Okay! I get it! Geez…” He laughed and stood up to leave. Andy reached and gave me a big hug with his good arm.

  “You have people here who care about you. Let us, okay?”

  “Okay. Thank you. Now, go! And hire someone to help you! You certainly can afford it.” He laughed and walked out the door.

  “See you next week, Claire.”

  “Bye, Andy!” I said with a snarky tone.

  Chapter 3

  Claire

  Melissa handed me his chart without a word and walked away with some cocky grin on her face. I knew nothing good was going to come out of the little ‘nugget’ of a patient she’d just handed me. “Thanks?” I questioned.

  “You bet.” I could’ve sworn she was laughing.

  I glanced inside his file and went over his injuries. Hmm…fireman, 35 years old, knee injury, multiple surgeries…okay, not too bad. Then, I saw a side note written in Melissa’s handwriting.

  G&R

  I nearly laughed out loud. I knew exactly what it meant and why she gave him to me.

  ‘Grumpy and Rude!’ Below that she had written, “Don’t be offended by Derek. He’s not as bad as he seems. I promise. Take good care of him.”

  If I didn’t already love Melissa and know her reasoning, I probably would’ve thought I was her least favorite therapist. But this was her way of giving me a challenging patient to distract me from my misery. So, as soon as Derek London sauntered into my therapy room, I knew I was in for a fight. He was the same gorgeous man I’d seen in our waiting room the week before. He was tall and thin, but all muscle. What really struck me, just like that day in the waiting room was the deep scowl on such a handsome face. I hadn’t been able to get a really good look at him before because his head had been bent down looking at his feet, but now—holy hell! He wasn’t just handsome. He was perfect, strikingly rugged and fucking hot. Even with the look of disgust plastered across his face, he was one gorgeous man. I paused to take a look at his file one more time before I call his name. I knew how to help him with the recovery, but wasn’t sure I could put up with some asshole that was pissed at me because his return to work all depended on my recommendation. I took a deep breath. “Derek?” He stood and glared at me suspiciously, giving me a good look at his golden eyes.

  “Yeah?”

  “This way, please.”

  “Who the hell are you?” Well, off on a good note, I see.

  “I’m Claire. I’m going to be helping with your therapy over the holidays.”

  “Where’s Melissa? I want to talk to her.”

  “She’s probably spending the day with her family. She gave me your case for the holidays and I can assure you I’m perfectly capable of handling your therapy.”

  “Family, yeah right,” Derek mumbled. “Look, I need to be released from therapy as soon as possible so I can get back to my job. So, let’s get started. I’ll call Melissa later.”

  All I could think about was how ugly this gorgeous man had become the instant he spoke. It was a shame. “Follow me, please.” I led him to my therapy room and resumed the exercises that were laid out in his chart. I didn’t speak. Not one question. Not one word, except to call out the next set of exercises. I had no energy for assholes like Derek London.

  Every now and then, during his session, I’d notice an odd glance or two from him, but ignored it. I didn’t want his negative shit adding to my own. This was my job. I was his physical therapist, not his friend or counselor and this job was what would keep me going while I learned to wrap my head around my new life. Derek didn’t say much either. He grunted a few times when I pushed him harder, but other than that, he was speechless. It wasn’t until we were just about done and I was giving him a relaxation massage, that I took the opportunity to really take a good look at him. Derek removed his shirt as he laid face down on the massage table in my therapy room and I let a little gasp escape. Wasn’t expecting that.

  Most patients didn’t remove their clothing. These massages were only meant to relieve the tension built up in the body as a result of the stress from working an injury. He’d apparently heard me because a small, stupid grin turned up on one corner of his mouth. I ignored him. His tall, lean body was tan and smooth…defined and he had a few tattoos on his ribs. I’d never been much into body ink, but he wore it well. It was sexy on Derek and I couldn’t stop staring at it as I slowly rubbed the tension from his neck and shoulders. The tattoos were some sort of poem or something written on his left ribcage. Sheer force of will kept me from getting a closer look. Yeah, you could say I was attracted to him.

  As our session ended, I turned my back, walked to the sink and washed the oils off my hands. I took a deep breath. “If you wish to have someone else treat you, check with Melissa.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’m filling in for some of the other therapists during the holidays so that they can spend time with their families.” Had I not turned to see his face, I wouldn’t have seen the slight twitch of his mouth and squint of his eyes.

  “Why are you filling in for everyone? Don’t you have your own family to be with? Are you some kind of martyr or something?” His tone wasn’t one of genuine concern for me. No, it was laced with sarcasm.

  “My personal business isn’t part of your therapy.” I walked to open the door and step out into the hallway.

  “Look…I didn’t mean…that didn’t come out…”

  His tone had softened. Maybe he realized he was over-stepping. I simply waved my hand like I didn’t care and said, “Call Melissa.”

  I led him to Allison’s desk to check-out and make his next appointment, then quickly said good-bye and walked back to my office before the tears I’d choked back took over. I sat behind my closed door and worked to calm myself. He didn’t know anything about me and obviously didn’t think before he shot off his fucking mouth. I should expect questions like that from the other patients too. They would all wonder why I was doing what I was doing. Best to be honest.

  *****

  My next few clients were my own, then two more of Melissa’s. This time one was a college tennis player with San Diego State who was nursing an injured elbow, while the other was a high school football player recovering from ankle surgery. Both were super easy and grateful to be able to have extra therapy sessions over the Christmas break. Their cheerfulness lightened my mood after my morning with Derek. I was still having trouble shaking off his comments and my fascination, but felt confident that Melissa would pass him along to another therapist.

  It was nearly six o’clock by the time I finished my paperwork and left the office. Allison had attempted to talk to me a few times during the day but I avoided getting drawn into anything lengthy with her. I was hypersensitive and didn’t want to talk about anything—at all. I was ready to go home, grab a glass of wine and soak in my giant bathtub. As I made the drive home, parked and walked into my lonely house, I mulled over the conversation Melissa and I’d had at the end of the day.

  *****

  “You need to pass Derek on to someone else.” I announced as I stood at her office just before leaving.

  “Why? What happened?”

  “He was pretty clear he doesn’t want me treating him.”

  “He needs to do as much therapy as possible over the next few weeks. I’d really appreciate it if you’d be the one to do it.”

  “Then you need to explain th
at to him. He doesn’t want my help. I found myself being too sensitive to all his little jabs and I don’t want to appear unprofessional.”

  “Well, I want to shift his case to you, permanently. He takes up too much of my schedule and since you offered…” Shit.

  “You’re right. I did offer, but if he’s going to be rude and downright mean, I’m not sure I’m up for that challenge, Melissa, not right now, at least.”

  “Claire…he’s had a rough few years. I’ve known him a long time. His grumpiness isn’t personal. Believe me. It’s his own demons that make him that way.”

  I took a deep breath. I understood demons. I had a few of my own. “Demons I get. Doesn’t excuse being an asshole to a perfect stranger...one who is trying to help him. I’d like for you to talk to him. He was pretty adamant about getting in touch with you today anyway. If you want me to continue treating him, I will. But I’d appreciate it if you tell to keep his comments to himself.”

  “I’ll talk to him. I’m sorry.” Melissa’s face had changed. Something was off.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so…”

  “No, listen.” Melissa held her hand up to stop me from talking. “You need to know a few things about Derek.”

  “Okay…”

  “A few years back, he was a pro football player. Got drafted the end of his junior year at the age of 21. He was really good. Had everything he ever wanted and was able to play for about seven years. But he suffered a career ending injury that ultimately tore his world apart leaving him lost and broken hearted. He and I worked his ass off for over a year to heal his knee and he trained like crazy to become a fireman. He’s been doing that for…I guess close to five years now. Things have gone wrong on a few calls and he’s re-injured that same knee. So he comes back to me to help heal him up and put him back together. He was 28 when he got hurt. Now at 35, things just don’t heal as quickly as he would like. He’s not a bad guy. He’s just taken some pretty big lumps.”