[Measure of Devotion 01.0 - 03.0] Box Set

by Caethes Faron

  “Well, he’s not going to be anymore.” Jason removed Kale’s shirt and then his own, throwing them across the chair he had vacated. “I’m exhausted, and I’m sure you are too. I was worried that you might not make it back tonight.”

  “I should have called, but we never stopped anywhere with a telephone. I didn’t want to spend time searching for one when we could be on the road.”

  “Don’t worry about it. You’re here now. I feel like I could shatter at the slightest touch, and I need you to hold me together.” Jason slid naked into bed alongside Kale.

  “I think I can manage that.” Kale lifted his arm and gestured for Jason to assume his usual spot, nestled in the crook of Kale’s shoulder against the flat of his chest. When Jason was settled into the warmth of Kale’s side, he shivered. “What was that?”

  “Nothing. It’s just a relief having you here. I don’t know how I could get through this without you.”

  “You don’t have to, so don’t waste any energy thinking about it.” Kale lightly caressed Jason’s arm, sending chills through his body.

  It felt so nice. Jason hadn’t realized how tense he was until his muscles slowly relaxed, giving up the struggle to stay strong. As his body released the determination to remain together, tears flowed. Everything he’d held at bay all day so he could be there for his father crashed down on him. The pain, the regret, the hurt, the sadness, added up to a tidal wave of emotion. He buried his face in Kale’s chest, not wanting his lover to see him fall apart. Jason’s hand crossed Kale’s abdomen to grip his side, nails digging into the skin as he tried to pull him closer than he could ever be.

  Kale’s only response was to turn on his side and gather Jason into his arms. Jason let himself accept the comfort, grateful that Kale wasn’t pushing for words or an explanation. Inside his head, voices of regret—the should haves and could haves—drowned out any attempts to silence them. “Why, Kale? Why is it only now that I’m getting to know him? Why when it’s too late? I wish I had never come. It would be so much easier if I could just keep hating him.”

  “Yes, it would be, but I never took you for a man who avoided something merely because it’s difficult.”

  “I’m such a wretched man. You didn’t even have the chance to know your father, and you were taken from your mother. You didn’t have a chance to see her before she died. Not only did I choose to not have a relationship with my father, but I also had the opportunity to make it better, and all I can do is complain about it. How can you stand me?”

  “My situation has no bearing on yours. You’re allowed your feelings. There’s nothing wrong with them.”

  “But how can you love me?”

  “You make it incredibly easy. Your actions are what matter. You came, even though you didn’t want to. You put in the effort to get to know your father, even though you knew it would make what’s coming more difficult. If you want me to stop loving you, you’ll have to come at me with more than that.”

  “No, please don’t ever stop loving me, Kale.”

  “I couldn’t.”

  Jason clung to Kale even harder. Somehow, with all the challenges that had been put in their way by themselves and fate, Jason had ended up with a man who both knew him and loved him, a man who was strong when Jason was weak, proud when Jason was shamed, and steadfast when Jason faltered. Jason wanted him, needed him. With the realities of life swirling around him, he yearned to retreat into the heady space he and Kale could create in their passion for one another.

  Jason hardened, craving the comfort of sex, the intimate exploration of familiar places, the renewed connection with a man Jason could scarcely believe was his, the spent bonelessness that came after the physical exertion, the drowsy fog that would lull him into contented sleep surrounded by the proof that he was loved. He wanted it all.

  But it wasn’t his to take. It was only Kale’s to give, and Jason knew Kale was not able. Guilt stabbed Jason’s heart. It had scarcely been two days since Kale had discovered his mother was dead, and his lost brother had been found only hours ago. Jason knew it all weighed on Kale. He had his own guilt and pain to sort through, and for some reason, sex didn’t play a role in it. Jason couldn’t be so selfish as to demand what Kale was not prepared to give him.

  Kale rose from the bed, the sheet falling away to reveal what Jason already knew: Kale wasn’t interested in sex. Jason couldn’t blame him for leaving. It no doubt made him uncomfortable to feel Jason’s erection against his leg when he didn’t reciprocate the feeling. “Where are you going?”

  “To get some oil from our luggage.” Kale proceeded to the wardrobe and rummaged around for the bottle.

  “No, Kale.”

  “Why not? You’re aching for it.”

  “You know my reasons. I won’t, not if you’re not enjoying yourself.”

  “Your reasons are stupid. I choose to ignore them. One of the benefits of being free. I want to do this for you.” Kale returned to the bed with the oil in hand.

  “I appreciate it, Kale, but you don’t have to.”

  “Yes, I do, Jason. What kind of man am I if I can’t comfort my lover when he needs it? I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t want to.”

  “I won’t enter you.” Jason was adamant. Never again would he breech Kale without knowing for certain Kale consented and enjoyed it.

  “I don’t need to be hard.”

  “I don’t care. I won’t do it.”

  “Fine. There are other ways I can make love to you. Just because I can’t get sexual release right now doesn’t mean you shouldn’t, and I’d rather take part than have you take care of it yourself. I still desire you. I can still take pleasure in your body and in giving you pleasure. Please don’t take that away from me. It’s bad enough that I feel betrayed by my own body’s failure. Don’t make it worse by denying me.”

  Jason pushed aside his own desires in order to observe Kale with clear eyes. Nothing in his demeanor belied his words other than the lack of arousal in his prick. Nothing scared Jason more than the thought of taking Kale against his will, but Kale was eager, and Jason knew that if he were in Kale’s position, he would be the same. He knew he could make love to Kale without being aroused himself and even take pleasure without a climax to finish the experience. “All right. But don’t feel obligated to finish what you start if you don’t want to. I won’t demand anything from you.”

  “I know. Trust me.” Kale rolled Jason onto his stomach. It was unexpected, and Jason had to adjust himself to get comfortable. Kale’s hands descended on Jason’s shoulder muscles, slick with oil. Jason groaned with the pressure as knots loosened. “You need to relax.” Kale’s voice tickled his ear, as did the lick Kale applied before he pulled away.

  Kale’s hands slid all over the back of Jason’s body. Nothing was left untouched. Arms, legs, neck, buttocks, all luxuriated under the steady pressure and growing warmth. After only a few minutes, Kale rolled him onto his back. It was over all too soon, but upon the sight of Kale naked above him, all longing for the massage fled in favor of more expedient matters.

  “It’s been too long since I’ve touched all of you. I need to get reacquainted.” Kale repeated the exercise on Jason’s front, using slightly less pressure. Jason couldn’t agree more and reveled in Kale’s touch. He expected Kale to skip his protruding cock and return to it later, so Kale’s hands encircling his cock and balls with the same touch he’d used everywhere else was a shock. The oddly asexual caress elicited a shudder from Jason. He yearned for more attention to his straining erection, but Kale acted oblivious.

  After every part of Jason’s body had felt Kale’s touch, Kale slid his hands down Jason’s sides and rested his weight on top of him. Jason reached up and stroked the delectable curve between Kale’s shoulder and neck, craning his head to kiss it. Kale obliged, moving his shoulder to within kissing distance, taking the opportunity to bestow some kisses himself on Jason’s neck. The inside of Kale’s lips was soft against Jason’s skin, a thrill after his earlier
firm touch. When Kale was done kissing, he moved lower, seeming not to care that Jason wanted to taste more of Kale’s skin, wanted to suck that delectable bit of flesh into his mouth and then lick the mark he’d left behind.

  Kale devoured Jason’s chest, lips and fingers roaming across his torso. Jason arched to meet Kale, wanting each kiss—each touch—to last longer. His cock ached with need. He wanted Kale. He wanted release. He wanted love, and he wanted the pain to go away. Once again, tears erupted.

  “Let it all out.” Kale continued his ministrations while Jason quietly sobbed. He yearned, he wanted, he needed, he craved. So many things. When the tears were spent, Jason was left with nothing but the unbearable tension. Kale’s touch was all over him, but it wasn’t enough. If only the tension would snap, Jason felt sure peace was on the other side of it.

  Kale’s mouth enveloped Jason’s leaking erection. The hot, slick pressure was a thousand times more acute than it had been on Jason’s muscles. All thought ceased. Only touch remained. Jason didn’t care anymore whether or not Kale was hard. This was too incredible for him to stop. A voice of self-hatred sounded in his head, and Jason pushed it away. He trusted Kale. Kale would never do anything to harm him, including letting Jason coerce him into sex. If Kale had a problem, he would let Jason know. In the meantime, Jason relished the sensation, the freedom of falling, knowing that his lover waited to catch him.

  It didn’t take much. The recent celibacy and stress diminished Jason’s capacity to last much longer than a few tongue strokes against his shaft. He tugged on Kale’s hair to let him know he was about to come, but Kale had already strengthened his grip on the outside of Jason’s thighs. Of course, Kale would be able to tell when Jason was nearing the end. He knew Jason’s body better than Jason did. A few seconds later the tension snapped, and Jason orgasmed. The pain and grief of earlier didn’t come rushing back from their retreat. They remained muted in the distant background of Jason’s mind. Peace filled the void. It pooled inside of him, warm and thick. Kale bundled him in his arms, and Jason drifted away.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Jason snored softly against Kale’s chest. Miraculously, he had slept through the night. It was still early. The sun wasn’t even all the way up yet, but Kale was anxious about his brother. He doubted Thomas had slept much, and it would take time for his internal clock to adjust to not having to be up at dawn.

  Kale was loath to leave Jason to wake to an empty bed, but he needed to make sure his brother was fed and sorted. Moving carefully, he squirmed out from under Jason’s weight and covered him with the sheet. He tiptoed to the wardrobe and withdrew some clothes.

  “You’re not nearly as sneaky as you think you are.” Jason’s drowsy voice turned Kale around.

  “I’m sorry. You were supposed to stay asleep. I just need to make sure Thomas gets some breakfast.”

  “Breakfast sounds good.” Jason stretched, the sheet falling away from his chest, revealing a few love bites.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. I need to check on Father.”

  “He must be fine, otherwise someone would have come for you.”

  “I asked them to get me if he woke.”

  “Isn’t it good that he slept through the night?”

  “Yes and no. Sadie said he’s going to get more tired and weak until he just falls asleep and never wakes up.” Jason’s voice caught on the last word, making it come out more as a squeak.

  “Jason—”

  “It’s fine. I have to make my peace with it. I’m grateful we at least came to understand each other.”

  Kale nodded. He didn’t want Jason to tumble down a pit of emotion, but he didn’t want him acting as though nothing was happening either. “Get some clothes on. I’ll go fetch Thomas, and you go check on your father. We’ll meet in the dining room.”

  “Thanks.” Jason rose from the bed naked and took languid steps toward Kale. “For everything.” He kissed him on the mouth and ran a hand across his chest.

  “Thanks for letting me. It was nice.” Kale didn’t think Jason could comprehend how wonderful it had been for him. Pleasuring Jason gave Kale immense satisfaction. The matter of his current impotence was a source of pain. The only other time it had happened was when he was owned by a labor firm that had seemed bent on working him to death. He could only hope that once their lives settled back to some form of normalcy, his body would stop betraying him. “I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

  Kale knocked lightly on Thomas’s door. He didn’t want to wake him if, by some chance, he was still sleeping. There was no need. Thomas answered the door seconds after Kale lowered his hand.

  “Good morning. The clothes fit you better than I thought they would. How’d you sleep?”

  “Very well, thank you.”

  “Thomas, I’m your brother. You can tell me the truth. I won’t think you’re ungrateful.”

  Thomas smirked. “You were right. It takes a while to get used to a bed like that. It’s so soft and fluffy. I kept jerking awake, as if I was falling. Each time I wondered where I was.”

  Kale patted him on the back. “I’d like to tell you that completely goes away, but there are still mornings I wake up wondering if it was all a dream.”

  “Then you understand how I’ve felt since Mr. Gereson showed me into the office yesterday. My only reassurance is that my mind could never come up with a dream like this.”

  Kale was grateful for Thomas’s eloquence. Their mother’s training and his work as a valet had refined his speech. The lack of disparity in their language helped bridge the gap between them. It would also make his transition easier once he was free.

  Jason exited his and Kale’s room and smiled at them before going down the hall to his father’s.

  “It’s time I show you where the kitchen is and introduce you. We’ll order breakfast.” Kale led Thomas into the kitchen and was immediately confronted by a grim Darlene. “Shit.” There were places for coarse language, even in the life of a free man.

  “Shit is right. Why was there a full pot of soup and plates piled high with food in my oven this morning?”

  “Darlene, I—”

  “Did I not make myself clear? Was there some part of my instructions you did not understand?”

  “No, Darlene. I’m sorry. We were tired, and it was late, and I completely forgot. After all the food you packed us, we weren’t hungry at all.”

  “He’s right, ma’am. That basket of food was delicious, the perfect accompaniment for a day’s drive. After an afternoon savoring it, there simply wasn’t room for more.”

  Darlene eyed Thomas and then glanced at Kale. “I can see charm runs in the family.”

  “I suppose so.” Kale smiled at his brother. It was good to know that he at least felt comfortable around the slaves. Or maybe it was just Darlene. Any decent slave knew the necessity of charming the cook. “Darlene, this is Thomas. Thomas, Darlene. She keeps us all fed. A few days with her and your clothes won’t fit.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Thomas.”

  “You too, ma’am.”

  “Call me Darlene. Ma’am makes me feel old and leads me to believe you’ve done something to get yourself in trouble like your brother here.”

  Thomas put his large smile to use. “He was always the troublemaker.”

  “Usually lured by your big puppy eyes asking me to do something for you.”

  “Don’t listen to such lies, Darlene. I’ve always been a model of propriety.”

  Kale snorted. It was the first time they had teased each other as adults, and it wasn’t much different than when they were kids.

  “I’m sure you are, child. Now, did you boys want breakfast?”

  “Yes, please. Jason’s up too.”

  “Then I’ll have it served in the dining room. Let me get you some coffee to take with you.”

  “Half coffee and half cream and sugar for Jason.”

  “Boy, don’t act like I’m not the one who taught you how Master Jaso
n takes his coffee. Try and tell me how that boy drinks it,” Darlene muttered as she poured the coffee. She handed two cups to Kale and one to Thomas. “If you all will get out of my way now, I’ll have breakfast for you in no time.”

  “Thanks, Darlene.” Kale headed to the door.

  “Thank you, Darlene. If there’s anything I can do to help, you make sure to let me know. I can’t cook worth a damn, but I can chop and peel with the best of them.”

  “I bet you can, sweetheart. Tell me, what are you used to having for breakfast?”

  “The usual. Oatmeal. Every now and then, some hard-boiled eggs if they cracked in the pot.”

  “Then I’m sure you’ll like what I make just fine.”

  “Oh, there’s no doubt about that.” Thomas followed Kale out to the dining room. It was amazing that he acted so much like Kale when they’d spent most of their lives apart. Kale raised his eyebrows at him as soon as Thomas looked his way. “What?”

  “Laying it on a little thick, weren’t you?”

  “Everyone knows to make nice with the cook.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Like you wouldn’t do the same.”

  “Oh, I did. It’s just a surprise to see my little brother following so closely in my footsteps.” Kale sat down in his usual spot and gestured for Thomas to sit next to him. Jason hadn’t arrived, but Kale placed his coffee in front of his place. “I told you my story yesterday. What about you? I know you were sold quite a few times.”

  “There’s really not much to tell. After you were sold, Mama was harder on me than ever. It was as if all her attention was split in two my whole life and then it was all focused on me. She was also less affectionate. I suppose she always knew she’d lose her children, but I don’t think she knew how hard it was going to be until you were gone. It changed something in her.”

  “I wish I could have saved her.”

  “Me too. She’d be so proud of you. Who would have guessed our mama raised a free man?”

  “Where’d they put you to work? When I left, you were working in the kitchens.”