You Loved Me At My Ugliest

by Evie Harper

  Joey moves to sit with his back against the headboard and lifts me to rest between his legs. He wraps his arms around my naked chest, inhales deeply and then kisses my neck. A delicious shiver runs through my body from the intimate and familiar gesture.

  “Leaving you was the cruelest punishment I’ve ever given myself. Saying goodbye that day wasn’t about abandoning you. It was about me trying to do the right thing for you. I’d already dragged you through the painful years with my father. I didn’t want to do that again. Sixty-five thousand hours away from you, Lexi, and each one of those hours, my world grew darker. When I saw you outside Michael’s brothel, my chest finally felt light again, my world tilted, not unsteady, but readjusting itself to where it should be. I wish I felt determination and need to make you to leave, but I don’t. I’m burdened with family who will never be normal or free from problems, but God gifted me with you by my side through it all. It's hard to hate him for my childhood or my father when he gave me you.”

  My eyes grow glassy and my lips stretch into a smile. I snuggle closer to Joey. He feels undeserving of me, yet after hearing him speak, I’m the one who is unworthy. Joey has no idea how unique and special he really is.

  We lay together like that, not talking, just comforting one another. Knowing our relationship isn’t normal or healthy, neither of us cares; it’s us.

  Give me crazy, passionate, heartache for the rest of life, because it hurts so beautifully.

  Eventually, Joey kisses my lips softly and says, “I’ve set up a time to talk with my cousins. There are things you need to know now that you’re staying. Michael’s out this morning seeing his physician, but he won’t be gone for long, so we need to get up and get this over and done with.”

  I nod and hop out of bed naked, intent on finding clothes, then quickly realize I have no clean clothes here. I’m about to inform Joey I need to collect them from my hotel room, but instead, I’m swooped up into his arms and tossed on the bed. I squeal, and when I’m lying flat on my back, I stare up to Joey. He’s smiling down at me with a mischievous grin.

  “I wish we had time, but we don’t.” He crosses the blankets over my body and says, “Keep covered, or I’m not going to care about that talk with my cousins.”

  Joey raises his body off me and steps back from the bed. “I’m going to get you some fresh clothes. Today, we’ll get your stuff from wherever you were staying.”

  “Hotel Calinda,” I inform his back as he’s walking away.

  Joey freezes and instantly I know why. I did happen to notice the young men in abundance at that hotel. I think that’s why the taxi driver suggested it to me. A single girl in a holiday destination, he probably thought he was doing me a favor.

  Joey turns quickly. “You were staying in the one place in Acapulco where most male tourists and locals go to hook up? It’s like putting a fucking sticker on your head that says, ‘Fuck me!’” Joey ends almost shouting.

  I sigh and unapologetically reply, “It was cheap and honestly, I couldn’t care less. Its location or purpose was not my concern. Finding you, that’s all I could think about.”

  Joey’s eyes widen for a fraction before changing to irritation. He fists his hands and groans loudly as he leaves the room. I can hear him muttering, “Concern, I’m gonna spank some concern into that ass soon,” as he walks down the hall.

  ~~~

  I’m standing on the bed in my room, looking at myself through one of the round mirrors hanging on the walls. There is no full-length mirror in this room, and I’m trying to see if these black shorts look exactly how they feel on me, which is tight as fuck, and giving me a wedgie with every step I take. What woman could fit into these child-sized shorts?

  And the top, a see-through, black, three-quarter sleeve blouse, with beige colored polka dots... I’m lucky I have my black bra and the blouse has two pockets that sit over my breasts; otherwise, I wouldn’t be leaving this room anytime soon. Luckily, the shirt fits nicely, and I don’t mind people seeing my stomach. Thank you, Pilates gods, for my flat abdomen.

  “What are you doing?” I hear Joey ask with a laugh.

  I spin on the bed to face him. His face quickly changes from carefree to serious.

  “What the fuck?” he says, his eyes pinned to my see-through top.

  On a whine I say, “I can’t breathe in these shorts, Joey. I’m going to walk like I have a stick up my ass. Where the hell did you get these clothes from, a teenager's closet?”

  Joey sighs as he lifts me off the bed to the floor and turns me around to check my back.

  “I got them from one of the kitchen staff. She’s also going to need them back this afternoon before she leaves.”

  “She must be a midget,” I gripe.

  “I thought she was the closest to your body shape, apart from your chest.” Joey’s face cringes as he looks to my breasts displaying my black bra between the pockets on the blouse.

  “Jesus, Joey. I’m happy to hear that you think I’m a size zero, but baby, I’m not.”

  I look up at Joey, and he’s smiling down at me with playfulness in his eyes.

  “Oh, I know, Lexi.” He grasps both my ass cheeks. It would feel sexy if he didn’t just cause an even more painful wedgie. “I love watching this non-size-zero ass bounce as I take you from behind.”

  I roll my eyes and push him off me. “Let’s just get this talk with your cousins done so we can go get my clothes before I lose my panties up my ass, never to be seen again.”

  Joey chuckles. “Hang on and let me go grab you one of my jackets.”

  “No, it’s fine. I'm not bothered about the shirt.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m fucking bothered, so wait for a jacket,” Joey throws over his shoulder before shutting my door and leaving the room.

  He walks back into the room with a suit jacket. I throw it on and it hangs lower than the shorts. I look up to Joey and say. “I should have just worn the goddamned sheet wrapped around my body. We would have already had the talk by now.” I wrap the jacket around me, and it looks like I’m naked underneath.

  Joey growls. “Fucking hell. Let’s just get this over with so we can go pick up your clothes.”

  Joey takes my hand and walks me out of the room, through the hall and down the two-storey staircase, and through another hallway into a living room.

  My breath is stolen as I’m met with a stunning view of the deep -blue ocean and sandy beaches of Acapulco Bay, through the glass windows which surround the room.

  “Finally.”

  I tear my eyes away from the beautiful view when I hear a deep, smooth voice.

  My eyes find an athletic, broad-shouldered man, dressed in suit pants and a white, crisp dress shirt, standing by one of the L-shaped couches.

  “William,” Joey states in a calm voice, uncaring of William’s exasperated tone.

  My eyes quickly move along to Matthew who is sitting on the lounge, one leg up, his ankle resting on his knee while he reclines casually, wearing attire similar to his brother; however, his shirt is blue. Matthew’s face is one of confidence, his lips tip up into a smirk, his eyes playful as if asking me ‘aren’t you glad you stayed?’

  I smile and shake my head at him.

  Joey walks us down three steps and into the middle of the room and says, “Time for an official introduction. Cousins, this is Alexa Kingsley, my woman, so no fucking touching, flirting or even smiling at her.”

  I sigh heavily and glance at Joey, hoping he can see the annoyed look I’m giving him. However, instead, I notice him glaring across the room to a man leaning coolly against a large fireplace. This must be Alex. He’s openly assessing me and wearing a smirk on his face.

  He’s just as attractive as his two brothers. Charm seeps out of him, along with charisma and arrogance. My guess is Alex would be the youngest out of the three, early thirties possibly.

  “We need to get this done before Father returns. He’s taken every guard with him, so it’s now or never.”

  My eyes swi
ng back to William. His words come out flat, yet his bold stare shows determination and his shoulders and neck are tense as he leans back.

  He appears irritated by Joey’s words for me. Perhaps he thinks emotions, and feelings are weaknesses. Or maybe he’s already decided he doesn’t like me. William radiates leadership and he has the telltale sign of lines beside his eyes, which have me assuming he’s the oldest of the brothers.

  Joey places his hand on my back and directs me to a lounge across from his cousins. We all sit, and in a low voice, Joey begins his explanation.

  “Lexi, you know when I came here, it was to find out what my uncle knew about Marco’s death and also if he was going to start The Collection again. I discovered quickly that he knew nothing, and didn’t care enough to push for answers beyond a few days of... questioning.”

  I tilt my head. What isn’t he telling me?

  I nod and let him continue, making a note to one day ask Joey about those few days.

  “He isn’t interested in starting a new collection, because he’s too closely monitored by the Mexican police and also by the cartels. It wouldn’t be long before they came knocking for a piece of the pie and in his old age, he doesn’t want that hassle.”

  “Okay, that’s great. You said quickly, how long ago did you learn this?”

  Joey doesn’t miss a beat and answers me straight away, “Within a week of being here.”

  “So you’ve been here for nine months doing what?” I whisper angrily.

  Joey looks at me and for the first time in a long time, I see fear in his features. Oh no, I’m not going to like this.

  “I wanted to end his life, to make sure none of my grandfather’s fucked-up children could come back and to haunt us in years to come.”

  “Okay,” I drag out cautiously. I glance to the sons of the man Joey is talking about killing and thought I’d find shocked expressions, but there’s no reaction. All of them still sit casually, eagerly listening.

  “I’m guessing since you’re telling me this in front of his sons, they want him dead as well?”

  “Yes,” all three men say in unison.

  I shake my head, confused, and direct my words to Joey, “You gave one of his guard’s orders, and he listened to you.” And then to Matthew, William and Alexander. “You’re his sons, obviously successors to all this.” I gesture to the house with my hands. “Why isn’t he dead yet then?”

  Joey blows out a heavy breath and answers me, “He has someone hidden away who means a lot to my cousins, a sister they have never met.”

  My eyes widen with shock and then my heart quietly breaks for them. “I’m so sorry.”

  Matthew and Alexander give me a nod of thanks, but William looks away, seemingly unable to handle the emotional moment.

  “Michael’s informed them if he’s killed by them or anyone at all, they will never find their sister. However, if he dies of natural causes, then his sons will be told where their sister is by the executor of his will,” Joey finishes.

  Wow. Michael is as good a manipulator as his dead brother ever was.

  “So you can see, while we desperately want our father to die a very painful death, we need time to find our sister first, and it won’t be Joseph who ends his life. It will be me and my two brothers, together,” William states without flinching.

  I turn to Joey with a question I’m sure he knows I’m going to ask. “So why are you still here? Why didn’t you come back to me... months ago?” I stand and move away from him.

  I just got past understanding why Joey left me, but now, knowing he should have returned to me a long time ago... We could have started our lives knowing Michael had three people in his own home whom would end him as soon as they can.

  Pain flashes through Joey’s eyes as I move away from him.

  “We asked him to stay and help us,” Alex says quickly, his voice clear, yet hesitant, as if he’s unsure his words will calm me and instead infuriate me more.

  I glance from Alex to Joey as tears threaten and my heart squeezes and twists. I feel as if my heart is breaking all over again. In my mind, I’m scrambling to remember why I love Joey so much, when I’m always the one, he puts last.

  “So you stayed for them? But you couldn’t for me.” My chin trembles on my last words.

  “Get out,” Joey growls loudly. Danger coats his order.

  I know he’s not stupid enough to talk to me that way, so I harden my heart and my eyes, ready for whatever he has to say when his cousins clear out of the room.

  William speaks, and his sincere tone takes me by surprise.

  “I can see you two have a lot to work out, but this can’t wait. Alexa, my brothers and I need your help.”

  Joey stands from the lounge quickly. With a gravelly voice, he asks, “Will, what the fuck are you doing?”

  I regard both men as my heart begins to regulate, and the sadness slips away as confusion takes over.

  William turns to Joey with an apologetic look. “Doing whatever we have to do, to find our sister.”

  Watching Joey’s anger rise over me helping them and knowing he will hate it if I do, I reply quickly, “I’ll help you. I’m just not sure how I can help you.”

  Joey releases the top button of his shirt and with a punishing pull, he loosens the collar, a noticeable tick begins in his jaw. His eyes don’t move off William. “She is not helping us.” His voice is tight and his tone penetrating.

  “Don’t you dare, Joseph.” At saying his full name, Joey’s eyes pierce mine. “I clearly don’t enter your mind when you make decisions about your life, so do not think you will have a say in mine.” I practically spit the words out.

  Joey’s face grows red, his breathing deepens, and his eyes dart around the room. He’s struggling with letting go of his control in this situation. I don’t move my eyes away from him, letting him know he won’t be getting his way this time.

  His shoulders slump in defeat and he shakes his head, irritation flashing across his features. He takes a seat, sits back on the lounge, exhales loudly and stares up at me, his eyes begging me to see reason. I don’t.

  Joey hardens his stare and turns it on his cousins. “Anything dangerous and I will fucking kill you all for even suggesting it to her.”

  Each of his cousins breathes a sigh of relief.

  It’s Matthew who addresses Joey first. “It’s not.”

  “We promise we won’t ever put Alexa in harm's way,” Alex adds.

  Well, that’s good to know.

  William stands and approaches me. “We need you to break into a safe, in our father's executor’s office.”

  My first reaction is to laugh, so I do. “What about me says I’m a safe cracker?”

  “We have the code for the safe. Thanks to Alex fucking and making fake promises to the receptionist,” William informs me.

  I scrunch my nose up and glance to Alex who is grinning from ear to ear.

  I peek over my shoulder to Joey, as he grimaces at Alex and mutters, “Fucking hell.”

  William continues to explain their plan to me.

  “All we need you to do is make an appointment with the executor. During your appointment, the receptionist has agreed to pull Mr. Diaz, the executor, out of the office for a few moments. You go to the safe, which is placed behind one of the paintings on the wall, unlock it, find our father’s will and read it. There will be two, one with information about our sister and one without. Hopefully they will be clearly marked to make it quicker for you. My brothers and I can’t get near the office. If our father realizes we know who the executor is, he will have the wills either moved or burned. It’s only by dumb luck we found out who did his will when the receptionist called the wrong number in the house to confirm an appointment with our father.”

  Joey stands and asks, “So let me get this straight, you”—he points to Alex—“fucked a girl to give you the safe code and to distract the lawyer?” All three cousins nod. “So why the fuck doesn’t she just open the damn safe herself
and read the wills?”

  Oooh, good question. I look to the men, waiting for their answer.

  “She won’t. She knows the information could get her killed. Every time I’ve brought up her reading them, she shuts me down fast. I’ve pushed her as far as she’s willing to go for me,” Alex replies. “Alexa only has to read them, tell us, and you know, he’ll be dead by sunset.”

  Joey walks to me and looks me in the eyes.

  “The only way you do this is if I drive you and wait in a car. Even a damn minute late and I’m coming up to get you.”

  I turn away. I’m furious with him; yet again, he’s chosen to help others before thinking about my needs. Inside I cringe. I sound like a spoilt brat. But then I remember this isn’t the first or second time he’s had the chance to put me first and hasn’t. Am I a fool? I feel like one.

  I turn back to the men, but only look at Matthew, Alexander and William. “I’m in.”

  All three men smile. Observing even William's smile for the first time, I can’t help but grin myself.

  It’s short-lived though because Joey has my hand in his, and we’re walking quickly back to my room.

  He swings me around and into the room with a strong push and shuts the door. He doesn’t turn around to me straight away though. He stands, staring at the door, his hands running through his hair furiously.

  I let out an exasperated breath. “I’m not sure we have anything to talk about, Joey.”

  He turns on me and the anger in his eyes halt my mind and has my heart racing a million miles.

  “Oh, we have plenty to talk about, Lexi.” His tone is fierce.

  I decide to say exactly what’s on my mind. “Again, you chose others over me, Joey. Do you know how much that kills me? I’ve crossed lines for you, lines I would never cross for anyone else, yet when it comes to who you think of first, I’m never in that category!” I end on a shout.

  “Everything I’ve ever done has been for you!” Joey roars back at me. I’m shocked speechless at his sudden, aggressive tone.

  “I fucking go about it the wrong way. I know that,” Joey says, a little calmer. “But everything has been done with you at the forefront of my mind. My father manipulated me to work with him using my mother as a motivator and I took you with me, after begging you to stay, but no, you had to come, and fuck me, I wanted you with me, too. I helped Jake because I saw it as an opportunity for you to view me as a better man. The day you left the slave house, I killed Mick for touching you and told my father to go fuck himself. He threatened my mother, and I still told him to go to hell. Then I found you gone, and I spent months looking for you, long fucking nights wondering if you were alive, wondering if I would feel your loss if you had been killed?”