I Want Crazy

by Codi Gary

  “Stop.” He brought her head back to his chest and rocked her back and forth for a few minutes. The warmth and strength of him made her feel better.

  “You are better than what happened to you. You did nothing wrong.”

  * * *

  Red had never wanted to hurt someone as badly as he did the man who’d made Jessie cry.

  He left her at work and went to see Jake at the store. He should go home and finish his last round of revisions before sending his next manuscript off to his editor, but he couldn’t. He was too wound up, and he needed someone with a clear head to help talk him down.

  He walked through the feed store entrance and caught Jake’s eye. He headed back to Jake’s office and sat down heavily in one of the chairs.

  “Geez, what’s the matter with you? Jessie dump you already?” Jake asked, and Red could have sworn his friend looked disappointed.

  “No, I need you to talk me out of killing a man,” Red said, running his hands over his face and head.

  Jake looked surprised for a minute, and then a slow grin spread over his face. “Who?”

  “Jessie’s ex,” Red said darkly.

  Jake lost his smile. “What did he do?” Jake asked, sitting on the edge of the desk.

  “He’s here in town, messing with her,” Red said.

  “What does she want you to do?”

  Red breathed a heavy sigh. “Stay out of it.”

  “Then I think that’s what you should do.”

  “If some guy was messing with Rand and causing her pain, would you be able to stay out of it?” Red asked, and saw Jake tense up.

  There was a pregnant pause before Jake said, “Do I need to sell you a new shovel?”

  Red laughed. “Not yet.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Jessie asked Ray to walk her to her car and breathed a sigh of relief when she didn’t see Will’s Sedan.

  “You okay, Jessie?” Ray asked. “You seem jumpy.”

  “Yeah, sorry, just had a weird visitor today,” Jessie said evasively.

  “Do I need to watch out for anyone?” Ray asked warily.

  Jessie smiled at the tall man she had come to think of as a good friend, almost an older brother. “No, it’ll be fine. Thanks for staying with me.”

  Ray looked sad. “Nothing else to go home to.”

  Jessie didn’t like to see Ray so sad. He’d opened up a little more about his family, and she thought he’d gotten a bum deal.

  “You’re a fantastic addition to the bar, Ray, and I’m so lucky to have you.”

  Ray’s trademark smile flashed in the dark. “You take care, and be sure to let me know if there’s something I should be concerned about.”

  “I will.” She climbed into her car and pulled out of the parking lot toward the hotel, but as she drove by, she saw the silver sedan Will had been driving out front.

  Pushing down on the gas, she drove to Red’s trailer.

  Just as she was climbing out of the car, he opened the trailer door.

  “Are you okay?”

  Swallowing hard, she asked, “Can I stay here tonight?”

  “Of course,” Red said, coming down the steps. “Did he do something else?”

  “Besides decide to stay at the hotel, no,” Jessie said, walking into Red’s arms and cuddling into his solid warmth.

  He wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling her hair and bending to kiss her neck. “Come on in.”

  He stepped back and let her climb inside. When he followed her, he shut and locked the door behind them.

  She felt awkward and unsure, something she’d never felt with Red before. “Do you mind if I borrow a T-shirt or something and just go to bed?”

  “No, not at all. I’ve got a little more work to do, but I’ll be in soon. Just take whatever you want from any of my drawers.”

  “What are you working on?” she asked, noticing the open laptop. “I thought you were a mechanic.”

  He laughed. “No, I work on cars, but I actually write books.”

  She paused in the doorway of his bedroom. “What kind of books?”

  “Umm, well romance novels.”

  She actually stumbled against the wall, she couldn’t have been more surprised. “Shut up, seriously?”

  “Yeah,” he said, reaching into the cupboard over the stove. He pulled a paperback out and handed it to her. “Here.”

  “Kiss Me Again. Cute cover,” she said, studying the laughing couple hugging in a field.

  “Thanks,” he said, dryly.

  “Are you going to be long?” she asked nervously.

  He shook his head. “Just want to finish this last part, and I’ll be in.”

  Jessie took the book and went back into the bedroom. After changing into one of Red’s T-shirts, she crawled into bed and flipped open the book to the first page.

  There was no way she would ever forget that first kiss.

  Oh, brother.

  * * *

  Red shut down his computer and saw the light in the bedroom was still on. Opening the door, he peeked in and found Jessie on her stomach, reading his book.

  “I thought you were going to bed?” He couldn’t stop smiling. Damn, she looked good in his shirt.

  She rolled over and waved the book at him. “You really wrote this?”

  “It says my name on it, doesn’t it?”

  “I just… I can’t believe you wrote this! I have never heard of a man who writes romance novels, except Nicholas Sparks, but everyone dies in those,” Jessie said.

  Red pulled his shirt over his head. “He doesn’t write romance. Romances have a guaranteed happy ending.”

  “Yeah, but…okay, but this is fantastic!”

  “Thank you,” he said, unsnapping his jeans. “I think it would be more flattering if you didn’t seem so surprised.”

  “Can you blame me? You have said at least twenty sexist things to me since I got to town, and you don’t exactly have ‘I heart Romance’ tattooed on your ass. Which would be totally hot, by the way.”

  “Remind me to never get drunk with you near any tattoo parlors,” he said as he shucked the rest of his clothes until only his boxers remained.

  She set the book aside and opened her arms to hug him when he crawled onto the bed. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, she kissed along his cheek and jaw, punctuating each kiss with a word, “You…are…brilliant.”

  He relaxed slightly and murmured, “Thanks.”

  “So, is it about anyone?” she asked as her lips nipped at his neck.

  “Not really. I do find a few things from my everyday life popping up in my work, but in general they aren’t about a particular person or event.”

  Her lips rained kisses along his chest. “Huh, well, I love it. I want to keep reading.”

  Red groaned. “Really?”

  “Fine, I’ll finish it tomorrow,” she said, lying down with her back to him.

  “You are a tease, woman.”

  She reached behind her to smack him and got him in the stomach. “Don’t call me woman.”

  He turned off the light and snuggled in behind her with his arm around her waist. “I’m sorry.”

  “I forgive you,” she whispered, bringing his hand from her wrist up to her lips, kissing the back of it gently. “Thank you for letting me stay.”

  “Any time.”

  And as her breathing evened out, he realized he didn’t want her to leave in the morning. Or ever, if he was being honest with himself.

  * * *

  Red walked into the Loco Inn and didn’t even have to go to the front desk to find Jessie’s ex-boyfriend. He was currently standing in front of the owner, Margie Talbert, screaming at her.

  “I asked for fresh towels, and these are still damp! I realize I’m in a white trash hick town, but does that mean you people don’t understand basic English?”

  Margie’s cheeks were bright red, and her eyes were starting to water. A sweet woman in her early thirties, she was a widow and didn’t deserve t
his shit.

  Coming up behind Will, Red clasped him by the back of the neck and squeezed. “You will apologize to Mrs. Talbert.”

  Will stilled under the pressure of his hand and tried to look over his shoulder at him. “Why don’t you mind your own damn business, you fucking hillbill—”

  Red spun him around and smashed his fist into Will’s jaw. The man crumpled at his feet, and Red sneered in disgust as Will lay on the ground, looking dazed.

  “I hate bullies, so here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to get back on your feet and apologize, and then you’re going to get the hell out of town. If I see you here again, you’re going to really disappear. Got it?”

  Will started to come out of his stupor, and Red wasn’t surprised that the idiot didn’t take his advice. “Not until that bitch gives me—”

  Red grabbed him by his shirt and hauled him up with both hands, letting the arrogant douche’s feet hover off the floor. Noting the fear in the other man’s eyes, Red growled, “I’m not going to repeat myself. Get out of my town.”

  He threw Will away from him, and the coward scrambled to his feet and up the stairs. Turning to Margie, he said, “I’ll stay down here and wait for him to go.”

  Margie looked relieved. “Thanks, Red. That man scares me to bits. Something about him is just shifty.”

  “After I escort him outside, I want you to get on the phone and let the guys at the station know we have a parole jumper in town. If he comes back, they’ll arrest him and ship him right back to where he came from.”

  “I’ll be fine. He just caught me off guard, but if he had kept at it, I would have shown him the fun end of my good-bye stick.” She pulled a shotgun from beneath the counter with a grin. “The shells are filled with rock salt, so it wouldn’t kill ’im, but he won’t be getting up too quick, neither.”

  Red grinned. “Margie, where have you been all my life?”

  “Get on with you. I’ve seen the way you are with Jessie, and don’t try to deny it. I know a goner when I see one.”

  Every thought fled his brain at that statement, and he realized she was right. Since the minute Jessie had speared him with those too-green eyes and sharp tongue, he was definitely a goner.

  * * *

  Jessie parked in front of the Inn and saw Red’s Charger parked up the street. As she climbed out of her car, Will came out of the Inn, sporting some darkening bruises. Right behind him was Red, looking large and menacing.

  Jessie thought he looked like a hero, his arms loose at his sides with the morning light glistening off his hair. He caught sight of her the same time Will did, but where Will’s expression was dark, Red’s grin was bright and open. Her stomach flipped over as butterflies spread up under her rib cage.

  Will started to say something, and Red slapped him upside the head. “No. You get in your car and don’t say one fucking word.”

  Jessie almost smiled until she finally looked away from Red to see Will’s face.

  His expression was murderous.

  Shaken to her core, she almost ran to the front of the Inn and pushed inside. Margie, the owner, greeted her with a friendly hello, but Jessie just wanted to get back to her room and put some barriers between her and Will. Despite Red chasing Will out of town, Jessie didn’t think her ex would give up that easily.

  She reached the second floor and went to unlock her room door, but when she took the knob, the door squeaked open. Had she left it unlocked?

  No, she remembered locking it. When she pushed the door all the way open, nothing looked disturbed at first glance. In fact, she vaguely remembered leaving her dirty clothes in the bathroom, telling herself she’d pick them up later.

  But they were now lying across the made bed. Maybe Margie or the maid had come through and straightened up. And just forgot to lock the door.

  Hands fell on her shoulders, making her jump a mile in the air.

  “Hey, sorry. I just wanted you to know I followed him to the town line. Told him what would happen if he came here looking for you again.”

  She took a hold of his hand while her heart slowed down. “The door was unlocked when I came up here. Nothing looks disturbed, so it might have just been the staff tidying up, but—”

  “But it might have been him snooping. I’ll help you double-check everything.”

  The two of them went through the drawers, all her boxes and bags, but nothing seemed to be missing. Relieved, Jessie grabbed a pair of ripped jeans and a black cotton top.

  “Since it appears I’m just losing my mind, I’ll change for work.”

  “Okay,” he said, kissing her forehead. “Call me when you get there.”

  “You chased him out of town. I’m sure it’s fine.”

  “Humor me.”

  As he turned to go, Jessie wondered why he hadn’t tried for more. She really didn’t have to be at the bar until ten thirty.

  Maybe he finally realizes you’re damaged goods.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Jessie had decided Friday night was Sports Movie Night at the bar, and she’d brought in Friday Night Lights, Rudy, and The Longest Yard. After a unanimous vote, everyone had decided to start with Friday Night Lights. The deal was if they bought a pitcher of beer, they got a large seasoned popcorn.

  She smiled and tried to pretend her mind wasn’t on other things, but she couldn’t stop thinking that she’d spent the night with Red every night this week, and he hadn’t tried anything. He’d cuddled with her, kissed her, but nothing else. At first, she’d been relieved—she hadn’t really been in the mood after Will’s surprise visit, but now that he was gone, she wanted things to go back to the way they were before. Red’s lack of interest had her thinking that maybe her fears that no decent guy would want her anymore were true.

  Red was a good old boy who went to church every week, his parents had been married for thirty years, and, above all else, he was a catch.

  Something was done to you that wasn’t your fault. It doesn’t make you any less decent or good.

  Jessie wished she could believe the voice in her head.

  Red came walking in ten minutes before the end of the first movie, and before she could even say hello, he was spinning her into his arms for a long kiss. When he finally broke it, she laughed. “What was that for?”

  “I just sent off my next manuscript for my editor. I can finally breathe and the first thing I thought of was seeing you.”

  “You just saw me this morning.”

  Secretly, happiness bubbled inside her at his words, especially since she’d just been thinking he’d stopped wanting her.

  “Yes, but this is more of a triumphant hello.”

  “Well, can I get you a beer, then, to celebrate?”

  “Fantastic idea!”

  She tried to stop the giddiness she felt as he took her hand and spun her around. It was hard not to fall for Red when he was excited and silly.

  Wait, what?

  No, she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t fall head over heels for a guy who might have one foot out the door.

  She popped the top off his Bud as the credits rolled. “Okay, what’s next?”

  “The Longest Yard!”

  Arguing broke out and so she put it to a vote. When they chose The Longest Yard, she asked her runner, Darla, to put the disk in.

  “So, what else do you want to do to celebrate?” she asked Red as she wiped off the bar.

  “Not sure. What time are you getting out of here?”

  “Two.”

  “Definitely not cow tipping.”

  “Hmm, mailbox baseball?”

  “You want me to get arrested, don’t you?” He took her hand and squeezed it. “I’m sure we can think of something.”

  Her heart jumped at his suggestive tone. “Oh yeah, like what?”

  “Um, Jessie?” Darla called.

  Jessie looked up and realized the entire room was silent. “What’s wrong?”

  “What are you doing?” she heard her own voice ask.
>
  Jessie froze, her gaze shooting to the TV screen, where her worst nightmare was playing on four screens.

  There she was, taking off her top with a seductive smile, Will lying across their bed, shirtless. She had asked Will the question, and he sat up now, crooking his finger at her.

  “I want to try something new.”

  “For fuck’s sake, Darla, turn it off!” Red yelled. The screen when blank and suddenly, Jessie was brought back to the present. She was standing in the middle of her bar, with a hundred eyes watching her, waiting for her to say something, but she couldn’t.

  So she ran. She ran out the front door and kept running until her lungs were on fire and someone was behind her, yelling her name. Ignoring Red’s shout, she kept going, slowing only when he grabbed her and pulled her to a stop.

  “Jessie, stop. It’s fine.”

  “No…” she shouted, sucking air in hard, fast bursts. “It’s not fine. It will never be fucking fine.” She couldn’t hold still, running her hands over her hair in frustration, a bitter, breathless laugh escaping her. “I mean, I thought things were bad in LA, walking into an interview, but this? An entire town knowing exactly what that tape was and thinking the worst of me?”

  “Once we explain, no one will think anything.”

  “No. I can’t. This was my fresh start. Now they’re going to be surfing the Internet looking for videos, and I—”

  “No one is going to do that.”

  “I don’t have any idea how that video got in there. There is no way…” She trailed off and turned away. “Can you just clear out the bar for me please?”

  “Yeah, I can do that, but we have to go to the police. There’s no question now whether or not that asshole was in your room and planted that disc.”

  “I just want everyone gone,” she whispered sadly.

  There was a pause from him before he asked, “Even me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Jessie…”

  “I just need some space, okay?”

  “I don’t think—”

  “Seriously, I don’t need you! I just want to be by myself.”

  She sat down on a rock, her back to him, and tried to suck back the sobs threatening to overwhelm her. When she finally heard the retreating crunch of his boot heels as he walked away, she let loose. Curling her arms around her bent knees, she lowered her face and sobbed.