Enlightened (Love and Light Series)

by Melissa Lummis

  Wolf looked alarmed. “You can’t leave her alone with me.” He looked to Guided and Calisto, but it was Fiamette who reassured him.

  “It’ll be fine, Wolf.” She emphasized fine. “You won’t hurt her.” She patted his leg. “It’s okay.”

  “But tonight I . . . ”

  “You what? Attacked her?” Fiamette leaned over his lap. “Are you scared of him, Loti?”

  “No,” she exclaimed, wiggling her arms free of the blanket. “I don’t know why he’s so worried. He didn’t hurt me.”

  Fiamette’s smile deepened as she leaned back in her seat. “See? She’s not afraid.”

  Wolf scowled. “Help me out here, Calisto. I have been oscillating between violent outbursts, fatigue, obsessive impulses, and . . . ” He glanced at Loti.

  “Sex. He wants sex. A lot. That’s what he won’t say,” Loti chimed in.

  He let out an exasperated sigh. “And blood. I could drain you.”

  “No, you won’t. And you wouldn’t say sex because you thought it would embarrass me. It doesn’t embarrass me, Wolf. Sex is the last thing in the world that would embarrass me.”

  He threw his hands up and rose from the couch. “Fine. Have it your way. Stay. Alone with a sick vampire. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He stalked toward the bathroom, his irritation buzzing in her head.

  “It would be worse if she left, Wolf. I do know that. She’s the only thing keeping you remotely calm right now.” Fiamette swung her satchel over her shoulder as she stood.

  Calisto cupped Korinna’s elbow, guiding her off the stool and toward the front door.

  “What do you mean?” Wolf stopped with his back turned to everyone.

  “I mean if she were to go with us right now, you would lose your shit. In a matter of minutes. Tell me—” Fiamette cocked her hip out.

  Seems to be her signature pose, Loti thought.

  It is. Wolf’s voice echoed in her head.

  “What have you been thinking about this entire time we’ve been talking?”

  Wolf stared at his bare feet, as everyone waited for him to answer.

  “You don’t have to say it. I will. You’ve been thinking about her: her blood, her sex, her safety, her body, her gorgeous eyes—”

  “Enough. You’ve made your point,” he growled.

  Loti rolled her eyes. He couldn’t see it, but he knew it. Adjusting the waistband of his hemp pants, he pivoted around to face them.

  “If she wasn’t here, you’d tear this place apart and fly off into the sunrise looking for her.” Fiamette picked up two items she hadn’t put back in her bag. “Here.” She tossed an amber vial at Loti, who caught it deftly. “Feed him. Sleep with him. It will keep him calm.” She stepped up to Loti. “Well, calmer. Keep your strength up. Do you have enough food?”

  “I just brought her more than enough for three days.” Korinna held the door open.

  “Good. Take three drops of that tincture in water three times a day.”

  Loti turned the plain glass vial over. “What is it?”

  “Nettles, Vitamin B-12 and something else. I forget, but it’ll counteract the fatigue from blood loss and help regenerate blood cells, too.” She slipped a leather thong over Loti’s head. Loti fingered the tear-dropped shaped glass vial that hung from it, tucking her chin to get a better look.

  “That is pixie glass. It’s got a blend of essential oils and a spell for calm in it.” Fiamette winked. “Shake it and you’ll smell it.”

  Loti did. “There’s sandalwood in this.”

  “Yes, and other stuff. Lavender, blue tansy, a few others.”

  “Thank you.” Loti sniffed the vial, turning a beautiful smile on Fiamette.

  “Yeah, well, you’re welcome.” She spun on her heel and sauntered toward the door. “Face it, Wolf.” Looking over her shoulder, her voice was syrupy. “You need her.”

  Wolf’s hands balled into fists. “Two more nights?” he said through clenched teeth.

  “Yes. Two more nights.” Fiamette tempered her tone.

  With a visible effort, Wolf eased his hands. “Thank you, Fiamette. I’m sorry I was rude.”

  “No, you’re not.” She hooted with laughter as she passed Korinna.

  Guided shook his head with an amused grin, shrugging his shoulders at Wolf in a watchya-gonna-do gesture. “You two are like oil and water, ya know?” He slapped Wolf on the back then gripped him in a bear hug. “You’re too much alike.”

  Wolf hugged him back, unabashed. When they separated, they shared an appreciative look. Wolf’s love for his friend mixed with his exasperation for Fiamette in Loti’s chest, and she sighed. He glanced at her, still curled up in the corner of the couch, blanket now around her waist. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

  Finally, she thought at him. Stepping up to the couch behind her, he held her shoulders. Patting Wolf’s back and pecking Loti on the cheek, Guided walked over to Korinna and took her hand, kissing it like she was Snow White and he was Prince Charming. She laughed and they left, shutting the door behind them.

  “Someone tried to kill her, Calisto.” Wolf didn’t turn around.

  “What did he look like? What was he?” Calisto came up beside Wolf.

  “A shapeshifter. I didn’t recognize him.”

  “He was outside my house the other night as a raven,” Loti added.

  “Why didn’t you tell me that before?” Wolf asked in alarm.

  “It didn’t come up, and I’m telling you now.”

  “How do you know it was the same person, Loti?” Calisto leaned his hands on the back of the couch, his aura too tight to his body.

  She puffed up her cheeks and blew out her breath. “I don’t know. I just . . . know it. Like the way I know you haven’t fed well enough tonight.”

  Calisto’s eyes widened. When he recovered, he came around the couch and sat down close to her, taking both of her hands in his.

  “Precious woman.” He planted tender kisses on each of her knuckles.

  Loti glanced astonished eyes up at Wolf, but his eyes were closed.

  “When this is all over, we’re going to take you to see Dayalananda. He will be so delighted to meet you.” Calisto kissed her cheeks one at a time, and his eyes shone when he pulled back.

  “The sun is coming up, Calisto,” Wolf said.

  Calisto nodded and got up, lingering, still holding her hands. “What I don’t understand is why he tried to kill you. I thought whoever wants you, wanted you alive. Wanted you for your abilities.” He gazed off into the imaginary distance. “I don’t understand.” He shook his head, inhaling through his nose noisily, letting it out in a gush. “I will look into it, Wolf.”

  “You might want to contact our old friends from the revolution.”

  “You think so? It’s been awhile since we’ve had contact with them.”

  “Just a thought. They might know something. Or at least could help us identify the body. It’s still at the bottom of the mountain.”

  “I’ll take care of it.” Calisto floated to the door. “Take care of yourselves.”

  When he was gone, Wolf brought her hand to his mouth, kissing each finger.

  “You didn’t like it when Fiamette said you needed me.” Loti lowered her voice.

  He averted his eyes, instead pressing his lips to her palm. He was good at not thinking, so there were no thoughts to read. His mind may have been blank, but he couldn’t hide the frustration and affection or the apprehension filtered through sheer wonder. Anger laid low in his belly, ready to pounce on anything that threatened. Loti stood up on the couch, making her a few inches taller than him.

  “I’m not a threat, Wolf.”

  Heat radiated off his evolving body. Fisting a handful of her golden brown hair, he buried his nose in it.

  “I know.” He breathed in her scent.

  Alone in bed, Wolf sat up with a start, throwing the covers off.

  “Loti,” he bellowed.

  “Here. I’m in the living room.�
� Her gentle voice floated in from the next room.

  He narrowed his eyes and braced himself against the intense hunger, the driving thirst. This has to stop or I’m going to drink her dry. How could I have fed just before passing out and wake up hungry? He rubbed his face with both hands, then slapped his thighs. I don’t like this. I don’t like anything about this.

  “Gee, thanks,” Loti yelled.

  He snorted. Snatching the hemp pants from the floor, he slipped them over his bare backside as he stood, swaying. Damn. He rubbed his temples, squinting his eyes. What’s it going to take?

  “Another night,” Loti called.

  “Get out of my head.” Huffing through his teeth, he beat his chest with both fists in rapid succession. Blood. Her blood. Now. The thick, rich slide of it down his throat. Breathing heavily, he leaned one forearm against the cool rock wall, the fire inside him raging. Only quenched when he drank her, fucked her. He reared back and punched the wall, granite flakes and rock dust raining to the floor. As he undulated a war cry to the ceiling, he shook out his aching hand.

  Loti appeared in the doorway. “Here, I’m here.” Her voice was vulnerable in the wake of his scream.

  “Go away,” he thundered, whipping around, fangs bared.

  She stepped back, eyes wide. She had to feel his raging thirst, his anger, his helplessness, and the knowledge fanned his fury.

  “I don’t need anybody,” he snarled through clamped teeth.

  But as he clung to his fury, he bore witness to her cringe. Her eyes darted around, one hand hanging on the door jam. Her fingers worried the cherry wood trim. Her face shifted from scared to uncertain, and then she straightened up and pulled her shoulders back, dark lashes framing determined eyes. She didn’t say a word, just stared at him. As he growled low in his chest, he lunged at her with vampire speed. She screwed up her face and hunkered down. They slammed into the living room rug, knocking the breath out of her. She wheezed, but didn’t struggle.

  “You still feel safe?” he sneered into her ear. Her heart knocked against his chest, the acrid fear filling the back of his throat. With disoriented eyes, he crawled backward as she rolled over on her side and held herself with shaky arms. She coughed and wheezed, trying to catch her breath. When his foot touched the wall, he crouched down, watching her—wants and needs warred in his gut. Feed. Fuck. Run.

  “Loti, you need to get out of here.” His voice was just above a whisper.

  She shook her head, her back to him. “I’m not going anywhere,” she said through the wheezes.

  He snarled, “You’re an idiot.” Sniffing the air like a dog, his pupils dilated until all the brown melted away. He inhaled sharply. Pure sex, pungent, ripe, his. Wolf froze as she twisted around, turning glowing eyes on him. They had their own effervescent light. His pulse banged in his straining neck as Loti bared invisible fangs at him. He lunged, this time landing like a panther on the balls of his feet and tips of his fingers, his tense body hovering over hers.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~

  Loti stared into Wolf’s crazy, black, bottomless eyes. This wasn’t the first time she’d seen this in the past 24 hours, and she wondered how many times they would have to ride this rollercoaster. Her confidence waning, she wished she’d asked Fiamette if it got better or worse. But she was in it, and although she could be insecure, downright needy at times, she wasn’t a coward. Pressing her chest against Wolf’s, she pushed up with deliberate slowness.

  Wolf growled in her head as he pushed back, just as slow and steady. He wasn’t even trying. The ache in her ribs from his first tackle told her he didn’t have to, and she was lucky nothing was broken. He stopped, his eyes betraying his inner battle. He wasn’t thinking—damn, he’s good at that—but she could feel the physical clench in his chest and the sick flip of his stomach. God, the icy fury. Teeth chattering and with little gasps, she strained against him. Suddenly, he smashed his mouth over hers. His teeth ground her lips painfully into her own teeth, blood oozing over her tongue. He groaned, his tongue darting to lap the blood.

  She licked the blood from her bruised lip, ran her tongue over his mouth. He leapt off. When she gathered her wits and glanced around the room, she found him on the other side of the kitchen counter, his shoulders hunched, his core wound tight.

  “I don’t need you,” he spit.

  No, I know. She jutted out her chin at him.

  Doubt clouded his eyes, and it flashed so briefly in her solar plexus, that she couldn’t be sure. Wish I could do that. Wolf vaulted over the counter and out the front door, Loti crying out at the rending in her chest. The invisible wires wrapped around her heart squeezed, strained, and vibrated.

  “Fuck you,” she screamed after him.

  He flew fast and high. She knew by the incredible ripping in her chest, the depth of the agony, and the direction of the pull. She coughed as bile rose in her throat, crawling toward the bathroom. Cold sweat ran down her back, and she fought her heaving stomach. Hold on. Almost there. She made it to the toilet, trembling hands shoving the seat up. Pressing her cheek to the cold porcelain rim, she sagged against the bowl as the magical wires imbedded themselves into the smooth muscle. The green chakra strained between them, razor thin.

  Metallic saliva welled in her mouth; she spat it into the water. She huffed a weak “Ha” at the bizarre thought she had: what kind of septic did he install? Her stomach heaved and yellow curried mush sprayed across the water and porcelain. She wretched again and again until all that was left was bile and stringy snot. She spit the sour taste out of her mouth as white hot unthinkable pain tried to excise her heart. Please. She panted against it, her thoughts spiraling and jagging. Rather die. Rather bash my brains out.

  She screamed with all her might, tears on her cheeks as she banged the side of her head against the rim until she saw stars. She did it again—harder.

  White rabbits, white rabbits, white rabbits—

  What the hell are you doing? Wolf’s thoughts were indistinguishable from her own. His panic was like a chemical burn in her head when she didn’t respond. But she didn’t know it was his. She slammed her head against the toilet again, trying to knock lose the hurting.

  Stop. His mental scream reverberated in her head. She banged it again.

  Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.

  Blood trickled into her ear.

  BASH

  She saw stars. Good

  BASH

  Open the door, where’s the door down the rabbit hole

  The pain in her chest eased, and she sighed, shuddering as she collapsed to the white tile floor.

  Good.

  Blackness.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~

  Wolf yelled, “Fuck” at Loti’s limp, rag doll form on the floor, her hair sticky with blood splayed around her. She didn’t move. Throwing open the vanity, he grabbed a bottle of witch hazel, yanked the cap off, and squatted by Loti. Thick blood hid the wound. She must have busted her skull pretty good because there was a lot of blood soaked into her hair and pooled on the floor. The witch hazel glubbed out of the bottle as he scrubbed at the tacky blood on her scalp above her ear, but there was no wound. What the fuck? She had healed herself. Was it part of the bond? Would she have vampire powers? She groaned. Wolf hunkered lower, setting the plastic bottle on the cold tile, his hands dangling between his knees as he watched her eyelashes bat against her pale cheek. She grimaced. A fluttery hand dabbed above her ear.

  “It’s healed,” he said in a flat tone. “That was fucked up. What you did.”

  “What?” Her voice was thick.

  “Busting your head open like that. That was stupid.”

  She pushed herself away from the tile, squeezing her eyes tight, gritting her teeth. “I . . . don’t know why . . . ” She cleared her throat, hocked up phlegm, and spit it in the bowl, splatters of vomit around the rim and on the lid.

  He’d felt pretty sick at the excruciating cutting sensation in his chest. He reached over her and smacked the lever. Water rushed out, the
roar filling the small room. Pulling a length of toilet paper off the roll, Loti wiped at the rim and tossed it in. Wolf held still, just watched. His mind was blank, until he realized she was crying. The release valve on the lid he’d clamped over his boiling thoughts rattled with her feelings: the fear, the sadness, the love—what?

  How could she love me? Insane woman.

  “Pffpt.”

  He jerked his chin back. Steam hissed a warning in his head, the valve shaking violently. I hate it. I hate her emotions—they’re so uncensored. He hated the way those feelings mixed inside his chest and stomach, making his heart heave. He hated the way he wanted her. He hated that he wanted her. He hated that he couldn’t leave her without feeling like his heart was being torn out. He hated that she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. He hated the softness of her inner arm and the same tender skin on the inside of her thighs. I hate that I crave you.

  Loti kept her eyes on her task, only the increasing shake of her shoulders told him she heard his thoughts.

  I never wanted to bond with anyone—ever. I watched my mother die of some white man disease rather than give her my blood. It didn’t matter that she didn’t want it—I wouldn’t be tied to my own mother.

  He didn’t feel guilt. He didn’t feel remorse. Regret, yes. A well-worn sadness, yes. Those were the emotions Loti sensed. That’s how his mother raised him. Practical. Self-sufficient. Selfish. To be a Wolf clan leader. The warrior clan. Loti wiped the last of the grisly splatter and dropped the clump of tissue. She lowered the seat and folded her arms over it, resting her head on her forearms. Closing her eyes, she took several shuddery breaths.

  Of course she heard all his thoughts. He wondered why they couldn’t shield from each other. Bond-mates should be able to pick and choose.

  That would be nice. Her thought drifted through his mind.

  He came to life then, shifting forward and running a hand over her bloody hair. She didn’t respond, just kept breathing, extra long breaths. Regret. Shame. Fear. He knew those were his. She had nothing to be ashamed of. He was the prick—the 500-year-old bastard, who didn’t need anybody.

  I understand.