Indiscretion (Inequitable Trilogy Book 1)

by Lesli Richardson

  “I need more than a hot body. I want someone who really gets me. I’m not attracted to jocks and gym rats. Problem is, a lot of artistic guys my age, they aren’t realists when it comes to the world. They’re not…balanced. And they’re either broke-ass, or trust-fund babies.” He grins. “I’m not looking to be a sugar daddy, either. I want a guy with common sense and experience.”

  That makes me chuckle as I resume chopping the carrots. “Maybe you can buy us dinner next time.”

  “I absolutely will, if that’s what you want.”

  It’s not, because I take care of my boy, but I’ll let him make the offer before I take the check away from him. “You can cook for us Monday night. There’s nothing on my schedule. I’ll let you do the shopping.”

  “Deal.”

  “So what are your plans for tomorrow night after work?” Yep, I’m feeling a little…territorial.

  “I’m going to a club to see a band.”

  I pause. “What club? Where is it?” I belatedly realize I don’t yet have the right to demand that information. He’s not officially my boy, and he’s a grown-ass adult.

  Apparently, my tone sails right over his head. “The band’s called Carlisle’s Caper. They’re sort of like the Arctic Monkeys but with a looser vibe that kinda veers into guitar rock. I’ve got the info back in my room.” He brightens. “Hey, you want to go with me?”

  I want to say yes, if for no other reason than to keep an eye on him and protect him, but I can’t. “The senator’s hosting a large dinner for military families tomorrow evening at a hotel. It’s a yearly event. Both she and Congressman Woodley will be there, because he’s a veteran. She doesn’t have anything on the books for Sunday, so I’ve got the day off.” It’ll be my last full day off until Christmas or New Year’s, probably, based on Shae’s schedule.

  Although I had planned try to finagle a way to see Elliot on Sunday. Probably use helping him pack as the excuse.

  Unless Jordan has a better idea for how I can spend my time.

  “Aw, bummer.” Horror washes over his features. “I mean, not that they’re military families—”

  “I know what you meant.” I can’t help chuckling. He’s fricking adorable. “It’s all right.” I unapologetically nudge the subject back to my question. “No idea where it’s at? The club, I mean.” I hope I’m not being too obvious.

  “I mapped it. It looks like it’s an easy walk from my hotel. Less than two miles. I’ll eat dinner at that place next door to my hotel before I head there.”

  I hear the record screech in my brain. “Two miles? What time is the concert?”

  “Less than. And the main act doesn’t play until eleven. There’s two opening acts that go on ahead of them, though. I haven’t decided if I’m going to go see those or not.” He’s looking me right in the eyes with a playfully defiant gleam as he reaches out and snags a piece of carrot from the cutting board. “I promise I won’t stay out too late, Dad.”

  That’s Daddy, to you.

  But I don’t say that, even though that’s what I want to say.

  I want to round the counter, fist his hair, yank him off that barstool, put him on his knees, and make him beg Daddy to spank and fuck him.

  Wait, what?

  That’s what the sadist wants.

  What Leo wants is… Well, okay, that’s not a bad idea, but Leo wants way more than that from Jordan.

  Which is why tonight is about talking.

  Thank god I’m standing on the other side of the counter, because my cock is fucking hard, man. It’s struggling for freedom and uncomfortably pressing against my zipper.

  “Tallahassee is a lot different than DC. Difference of a few blocks can be the difference between getting mugged and getting home safely.” I arch an eyebrow at him. “And, yes, I would go with you if the senator didn’t need me. I strongly recommend a cab, or ride share. Or at least a bus.”

  “I already looked. No bus running close by that time of night. Just as easy to walk.” He shrugs. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. I walk all over the place at home, if I’m not taking the bus. I’d rather not spend the extra money on a cab. Besides, I like to explore.”

  I literally have to take a breath when I catch myself almost stepping out of the kitchen and around the breakfast bar so I can grab him and spank him and make him promise to call for a cab, even if I have to pay for it for him.

  But…I don’t.

  I behave myself, and you have no fucking idea how difficult that is.

  We end up eating in the living room, sitting on the couch so we can talk. I force the subject off of us and onto other things, for a little while. I get him asking me questions about politics and DC and more.

  He asks me about Shae…and Elliot. I hope it’s not obvious when I don’t spend nearly as much time talking about him as I do her and then divert the conversation to other topics.

  Eventually, there’s a comfortable lull in our conversation.

  The boy’s smile inspires wicked and evil thoughts in my sadist. “Do I pass the first barrier?”

  “Depends. Are you comfortable agreeing to my terms so far?”

  “So far.” He’s finished eating and sets his plate on the coffee table so he can turn to face me. “What happens if your partner demands we break up?”

  “I’ve already given them several chances to tell me to stop this. They insist they want me to see other people.”

  He cocks his head. “That doesn’t answer my question. Several years from now, if they can’t stand sharing you, and their situation changes so they can be out with you, I don’t want to get screwed over if they decide they can’t handle you and me being an item.”

  I hope this isn’t a lie. “That’s why I want to take things slowly. Once you and I pass that point of no return, stopping this isn’t going to be an option.”

  “And they’ll know that?”

  “It goes both ways. You have to be okay with them, too.”

  “Considering I don’t even know if they’re a real person or not…”

  I want to spank him in fun ways for the playful smirk he’s wearing.

  “Yeeesss,” I drawl. “Because I love mindfucks so much, I’m pretending to infinitely complicate my life with an imaginary lover, instead of diving in headfirst into a relationship with a really hot and intelligent and available guy I can’t get out of my mind. That checks out.”

  He giggles. “Could be reverse catfishing. Bitches be crazy.”

  Jordan makes me laugh.

  There used to be a time when Elliot and I laughed a lot. Made each other laugh and smile.

  “I’m faithful,” I say. “I honor my word. I’ve been with them for over six years now and I’m not walking away from them unless they tell me it’s over. They’d have to do something to violate my trust. Once you and I reach that point, the same would apply to you. I wouldn’t walk away from you unless you tell me you want me to go.”

  “What about me walking away from you?” he quietly asks.

  I feel an uncomfortable tug in my soul contemplating that. Yep, I’m a dumbass, all right. I already have it bad for the guy. “I will never force someone to be with me. That’s not me. You tell me it’s over, then it’s over. Unless or until that happens, I give you everything I have.”

  “What’s left over from your other partner you mean?”

  “That’s non-negotiable.” I study his expression. “If it’s a non-starter for you, I understand.”

  “I didn’t say that.” He picks at a cuticle. “I don’t want to be an afterthought.”

  “My job’s going to come first. I will spend the next four to eight years serving at the pleasure of the president. The only guarantee I can give you is that any ultimatums you try to give me regarding how much time I spend at work will make me walk. Just like I won’t make any regarding yours.”

  “You don’t know what my job will be.” He glances up. “What if I go back to Florida?”

  Another strong tug on my soul. “I can’t make
you promises. I’d be open to that as long as you agreed to be monogamous with me. But a long-distance relationship will mean we won’t get much time together, unless you fly up to DC on the regular. That’s not very fair to you.” I have to be as honest with him as I can. “Part of my problem right now is that I’m lonely.”

  “Would you date anyone else if I did go back to Florida?”

  “That’s a hypothetical. I’ve had permission to date others for a while now and you’re the first person I’ve ever thought about doing this with. The first person in six years. The chances of me meeting someone else I’d put myself out there for, who I think would tolerate the restrictions on my time, are slim to none. Especially once Senator Samuels is sworn in. Besides, if we’re doing this thing, I would be monogamous with you.”

  He slowly nods but he’s staring at his finger. “And your partner.”

  “Yeah. If you’re going to return to Florida and want to try this long-distance…” I lose where I’m going with that because I already have too much invested in this, in my head.

  Dangerously so.

  He meets my gaze. “That’s not your preference.”

  I shake my head. “It’s really not. If you think that’s where this will lead, then it’s all the more reason for us to take things slowly.”

  I let him think for a moment, waiting for him to speak.

  “I’m fine with the secrecy. I get it. Eventually, I want to meet them and hear from them they’re fine with this.”

  I nod. “It’ll take a while, but sure.”

  “And they don’t get to set rules about what you and I do.” He lifts his chin a little. “I won’t try to interfere with you and them. But that goes both ways.”

  I nod, but don’t speak, because I sense he’s not done. This is good, though. It’s refreshing that he’s taking control of his part of this.

  My dangerous slide toward the point of no return continues.

  “Does there ever come a point where they reach a part of their life when they can be out with you?”

  “I don’t know.” It makes me sad to even admit that. “I always hoped yes, that we could get married and be…normal, whatever the fuck that is.”

  “But six years.”

  I nod. “Six years. And it will be many more.”

  “What about us?”

  I’m still processing how sad it makes me feel to know I could be looking at sixteen years before Elliot’s finally ready to publicly be with me.

  If then. And that thought saddens me, too. “What do you mean?”

  He points at me, then him. “Do we ever have a chance of getting married? If they’re too chickenshit to step up? Do I get to be that guy and they have to take second place to me?”

  I don’t mean to chuckle, but I can’t help it. “There’s always a chance. But marry you or marry them, it wouldn’t give either of you exclusivity to me.”

  “Could we ever at least live together?”

  “That’s a definite maybe. I don’t expect you to want to ditch your degree tonight. You might hate me by January.”

  “Or you might hate me,” he says in that quiet tone that just fucking guts me.

  “I think there’s very little chance of that happening.”

  We talk for a few more minutes before he excuses himself to the bathroom. It’s not even nine yet, and I use that opening to text Elliot.

  How’s My pet tonight?

  He’ll likely know why I’m texting him this early. He’s not stupid, even if he is stubbornly myopic about himself in many ways.

  He texts me back almost immediately, when I wasn’t expecting that.

  Miss You, Master.

  Fuck.

  This is hard on him but, dammit, it’s what he said he wanted me to do.

  Do I need to stop by tonight?

  I hear the bathroom door open when he replies.

  No, Sir. I’ll be okay.

  Which means he’s probably not okay. He’s probably anything but okay.

  This dance we’re doing isn’t healthy for either of us. Ironically, it’s my hands that are tied, metaphorically, by Elliot’s closet.

  I have to do something different.

  Jordan is definitely different.

  I stand and slip the burner into my pocket as Jordan returns. I pick up our plates to take to the kitchen.

  He’s not my boy right now, so he’s an equal. I’m not an asshole.

  Not about this.

  “Can I help?” he asks.

  “Sure. Grab the silverware and glasses, please.”

  He does, and we head to the kitchen. “Oh, those are for you to borrow.” I nod my head toward the scarf, hat, and gloves. “Don’t want you to freeze to death.”

  He smiles. “Thank you. I’ll buy some this week and get those back to you.” I turn, and we’re face-to-face again.

  The perfect kissable height.

  I stare down at him for a long moment. Fuck, my cock’s screaming I’m an idiot for not taking him into my bedroom right now.

  Which maybe is the best argument of all for waiting. “I definitely want you.”

  He smiles and reaches up to boop my nose. “Then maybe I should play hard to get.”

  “Never play chicken with a sadist, baby.”

  I read plenty of hunger in his eyes. “Who says I’m going to blink first?”

  Jesus, I can’t even with him. I’m going to have a handful when I finally get my hands on him.

  I can hardly wait.

  It’s after ten when I take him back to his hotel. He says I don’t have to, but when I firmly insist I’m doing it, he doesn’t refuse.

  He also wears the scarf, hat, and gloves I’m loaning him. I get us a cab and manage to peel myself away from him without following him into his hotel room.

  On the way home in the cab, I text Elliot.

  Good night, pet. Love you. See you tomorrow.

  He texts me back almost immediately.

  Good night, Master. Love you. See you tomorrow.

  Hopefully he’s not stressing too badly tonight. I sit back and close my eyes and think about our first weekend together.

  I had so many hopes that I could love him enough to love his fear away.

  That we’d be married by now, with me helping him with his campaigns. Or even if he wasn’t running for office, that we’d be living together.

  It’s time for me to stop wishing for things that will likely never come true. I know there’s a far better chance than I’d like to admit that Elliot’s already decided to break up with me but can’t bring himself to do it yet.

  If that’s the case, then maybe it is better I’ve met Jordan.

  I will never regret my time with Elliot. I’ll never take a minute with him for granted.

  I only hope whatever’s in store for me happens sooner rather than later. I’m tired of feeling like I’m living my life in neutral with the gas pedal shoved to the floor. Sooner or later, it’s going to kick into gear.

  And I’ll need to hold on tight when it does.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Two sides of me wage war all day Saturday. There’s Leo Cruz, who’s trying to be professional as I slog through my to-do list in the office.

  Then there’s Sir, who wants to put Jordan on his knees and make him promise not to be foolish and to take a cab to the club tonight.

  Except we really haven’t settled anything between us other than we’re both interested in delving deeper and spending more time together. We don’t have time to talk in the office. There’s too many people around, for starters. Plus, Jordan headed out of the office early with a Secret Service agent so he could go look at more furniture at the warehouse. The agent will drop him at his hotel once Jordan’s finished.

  Early that evening, I ride with Elliot from the office to his apartment ahead of the dinner. We haven’t had a chance to talk privately before now.

  We’re alone in the back of the car. “How was dinner last night?” he asks.

  I slowly no
d. “We talked. We’re still talking.”

  He looks away, outside, and I reach over and touch his thigh. He finally looks at me again.

  “Tell me no,” I whisper. “Say the word.” I sound like a broken record. I should stop asking him to stop me. I know damn well he won’t, and it hurts like hell.

  He sadly smiles and looks out the window again.

  At his place, once we’re alone inside his apartment and locked in his bedroom, I fist his hair and kiss him while I back him over to his bed so I can help him get undressed.

  I also leave several bite marks on him, quickly suck an orgasm out of him, and basically drop him deep into subspace before I even get him to the shower.

  Then I undress and jump into the shower with him and hold him.

  “What about you, Master?” he whispers.

  “What about me, pet?” He looks up at me as I smile down at him. “I’m not the one under orgasm restrictions. I’m sure I’ll go home tonight and think about you while I’m jerking off.”

  But my defiant pet doesn’t relent, even though, normally, he’d be hyper-aware of the time and worried about being late. He goes down on me and quickly gets me off, almost looking triumphant afterward.

  Of course I’m going to let him do it. For once, I feel wanted. The fact that I know it’s his jealousy coming forward is something I willfully ignore.

  We manage to get him ready on time and I put on the same clothes. It’s not a formal event, and I’m not on center stage tonight.

  Before I unlock his bedroom door, I pull him into my arms and kiss him one last time. “Love you, pet.”

  He smiles, looking happy. “Love you, too, Master.”

  Then we head out. Once we arrive, we go our separate ways, because Elliot’s staffers who are in attendance catch up with him and I’m working with Shae.

  That’s when I finally remember Jordan, and the fact that he’s going to the club tonight. I looked up the club today, after he left. It’s not in a great part of town.