Valdemar Books

by Lackey, Mercedes

  "You collapsed," Amberdrake told him gently. "You aren't in much better shape than I am."

  "You can say that again, Drake." Gesten padded up into the circle of light cast by the mage-light overhead, with Aubri and two of Lady Cinnabar's hertasi with him. "The Lady told me where you were. She and Tamsin and Skan are worried sick. I'm supposed to have Dierne and Lysle help Vikteren back to his tent and get some food in him, while Aubri helps me get you back to yours." The hertasi patted the young mage on the shoulder. "Good work, boy. Tamsin says you two basically took care of every badly injured nonhuman that came in. Real good work. If I had a steak, I'd cook it up for you myself."

  "Right now a couple of boiled eggs and some cheese sounds fine," Vikteren croaked, his face gone ashen. "I'd rather not look at meat just now—could look like someone I knew...."

  Gesten gestured to the other two hertasi who levered Vikteren back up to a standing position and supported him on his feet. "Get some food, get some rest. And drink what these two give you. It'll keep you from having dreams."

  "Nightmares, you mean," Amberdrake murmured, as the hertasi helped the mage down the hill, step by wavering step. "I remember my first war-wounded."

  "As do we all," Aubri rumbled. "Gesten, if you can get him standing—Amberdrake, you lean on my back—"

  As he got to his feet, he began to black out again, and Gesten tsked at him as he sat abruptly back down. "I thought as much," the hertasi said. "You've drained yourself. You're going to be a right mess in the morning."

  "I'm a right mess now." Amberdrake put his head down between his knees until the world stopped spinning around him. "I hope you have a solution for this. I'd hate to spend the rest of the night sleeping in the mud."

  "That's why I brought Aubri. Just give us a moment." The hertasi hustled into one of the supply tents, and came back out again with a number of restraining straps and a two-man litter. While Aubri muttered instructions, Gesten rigged a harness over Aubri's hindquarters, and stuck one set of the litter handles through loops in the harness. "Get yourself on that, Drake," the hertasi ordered. "I've got this inclined so Aubri takes most of your weight."

  Amberdrake did manage to crawl onto the litter, but he was so dizzy that it took much longer than he thought it would, and his head pounded in time with his pulse until he wanted nothing more than to have someone knock him out. He knew what it was; he'd overextended himself, drained himself down to nothing. He was paying the price of over-extending, and he wouldn't be the only Healer who'd done that today.

  He closed his eyes for the journey back to his tent; when he opened his eyes again, he was being lifted into his bed. But the moment he tried to move, his head exploded with pain, so he closed his eyes again and passively let them do whatever Gesten told them to. He wound up in a half-sitting position, propped in place by pillows.

  When he opened his eyes again, the tent was silent, lit only by a single, heavily-shaded lantern, and Gesten was still there, although Aubri and the rest of the hertasi's recruits were long gone. Gesten turned with a cup in his foreclaw, and pushed it at him.

  "Here," he said brusquely. "Drink this, you know what it is."

  Indeed he did; a compound of herbs for his head and to make him sleep, so thick with honey he was surprised the spoon didn't stand in it. At this point, he was too spent to protest, and too dizzy to care. Obediently, he let the too-sweet, sticky liquid ooze down his throat.

  Then he closed his eyes, waiting for the moment when the herbs would take effect. And when they did, he slid into the dark waters of sleep without a single ripple—for a while.

  Winterhart had never wanted quite so much to crawl away into a hole and sleep for a hundred years. Instead, she dragged herself back to her tent and collapsed on her bedroll. She curled into a fetal position, and waited for her muscles to stop twitching with fatigue, too tired even to undress.

  Urtho was losing. That was the general consensus. The only question was if their side would continue to lose ground, or if Urtho would come up with something that would hold Ma'ar off for a little longer.

  We're being eroded by bits and pieces, instead of being overrun the way I thought we'd go. Even that stark certainty failed to bring her a shiver of fear. She was just too tired.

  It wasn't just tending her own charges now, it was being called up the Hill at a moment's notice whenever too many wounded came in. And it wasn't just her—it was everyone, anyone who even knew how to wrap a bandage. She'd seen Amberdrake working so long and so hard today that he'd become a casualty himself, and he wasn't the only one, either. The rest of the kestra'chern worked just as hard, and even the perchi came in to mix herbal potions and change bandages. For now, all the little feuds and personality conflicts were set aside.

  Unfortunately, Shaiknam and Garber have their commands again. Although General Shaiknam no longer had nonhumans or mages under his command, he was still managing to account for far too many casualties. When he succeeded, he did so in grand style, but it was always at a high cost in terms of fighters.

  I wish that Urtho would just put him in charge of siege engines and catapults. They don't die.

  Well, she no longer had to parrot Garber's stupid orders, or try to make excuses for him. And the Sixth was holding its own at the moment. Perhaps they would continue to hold, and Ma'ar would give up for a while, let things stand at stalemate, and give them all time to breathe.

  Footsteps outside the tent warned her in time to roll over to face the back of the tent and feign sleep. It was Conn, of course, and wanting the usual; she could not imagine where he got any energy to spare when everyone else was exhausted.

  He shoved the tent flap open roughly, and stood beside her bedroll, waiting for her to wake up. Except that she wasn't going to "wake up."

  I'm tired of you, Conn. I'm tired of your so-called "temperament." I'm tired of acting like your mother as well as your lover. I'm very tired of being your lover; you have no couth and no consideration.

  It occurred to her then that he had so little consideration for her that he might well try to shake her awake. Then she would have no choice but to give up the ruse.

  But I'm damned if I'll perform for you, Conn. You'll get me the way I feel—too tired to move a muscle, with nothing left over for anything or anyone, not even myself.

  He stood there a moment longer, and experimentally prodded her with his toe once or twice.

  Very romantic, Conn.

  But she had seen people fallen so deeply asleep that nothing short of an earthquake would wake them. She knew how to simulate the same thing. She remained absolutely limp, neither resisting the push from his toe, nor reacting to it. Finally he muttered something uncomplimentary and left the tent.

  She stayed in the same position in a kind of wary stupor; there was no telling how Conn would react to having his wishes flaunted. He might just linger outside the tent, waiting to see if she moved or even came out. He might even come back with a bucket of cold water—

  No, he won't do that. He wouldn't want to use the bedroll if it had been soaked.

  But he might find some other way of waking her up and return with it.

  It's a good thing he won't be able to find a messenger-bird now that it's past sunset. He'd probably bring one back here and have it shriek in my ear. The little beggars love dramatics; he wouldn't have any trouble getting one to cooperate.

  But nothing happened, and when her arm fell asleep, she finally turned over, keeping her eyes cracked to mere slits.

  There was a light right outside her tent, and if there had been anyone lurking out there he'd have shown up as a silhouette against the canvas. There wasn't a sign of Conn, and as her arm came back to life and she sat up, swearing softly, he didn't come bursting into the tent.

  She sighed and massaged her left hand with her right, cursing as it tingled and burned. Her eyes felt dry, and gritty, as if she'd been caught in a sandstorm. She left off massaging her hand and rubbed them; it didn't stop the itching, but at least they di
dn't feel quite so dry anymore.

  This end of camp was silent—frighteningly silent. Anyone not on duty was sleeping, wasting not a single moment in any other pursuits. As she listened, she heard the deliberate pacing of a sentry up and down the rows of tents, and the rustle of flags in the breeze, the creaking of guy ropes and the flapping of loose canvas. And something muttered just overhead.

  She peered up, where the tent supports met in a cross. There was a tiny creature up there, perched on the poles.

  She got to her feet, somehow, and reached up to it without thinking. Only as her hand touched it and she felt feathers did it occur to her that it could have been anything—a rat, a bat, some nasty little mage-accident.

  But it wasn't; it was only a messenger-bird. She slipped her fingers under its breast-feathers as it woke and muttered sleepily, and it transferred its hold on the pole to a perch on her hand.

  She brought it down carefully. While they were very tame, they were also known to nip when they were startled. She scratched it with one finger around its neck-ruff while it slowly woke, grumbled to itself, and then, finally, pulled away and fluffed itself up.

  It tilted its head and looked up at her; obligingly, she got into the light from outside so that it could see her face and identify her. It snapped its beak meditatively once or twice, then roused all its feathers again and spoke.

  Canceling your appointment tonight, it said in Amberdrake's voice, and it was uncanny the way the tiny bird was able to imitate sheer exhaustion overlaying the words and making him slur his sentences. Too tired. Tomorrow, if we can. I'm sorry.

  She sat back down again, obscurely disappointed. Not that she was up to so much as a walk to the mess tent, much less halfway across camp! And he certainly wasn't up to giving her any kind of a massage, not after the way she'd seen him slaving today.

  But we could have talked, she thought wistfully. We could have cried on each other's shoulders... comforted each other.

  Suddenly she realized that she no longer thought of him as "the kestra'chern Amberdrake"—not even as her Healer. She wanted to tell him every grisly detail—the men that had died under her hands, the fighters who were never going to see, or walk, or use a weapon again. She wanted to weep on his shoulder, and then offer him that same comfort back again. She needed it, and she guessed that he did, too. His friends were as mind-sick and exhausted as he was, and would be in no position to console him.

  Or else they have others they would rather turn to.

  If only he hadn't canceled the appointment! If only she could go to him—

  Well, why not? came the unbidden thought. Friends don't need appointments to see each other.

  That was true enough, but—

  Dear gods, it was a long walk! She held the little bird in her cupped hand, petting its back and head absently as it chuckled in content. Just the bare thought of that walk was enough to make her weep. He might have exhausted his Healing powers, but she had been lifting and reaching, pulling and hauling, all day. Small wonder her muscles burned with fatigue, and felt about as strong as a glass of water.

  Footsteps crunched on the gravel of the path between the rows of tents, drawing nearer, but they were too light to be Conn's, so she dismissed them as she tried to muster the strength just to stand. If I can get to my feet, maybe I can get as far as the mess tent. If I can get as far as the mess tent, maybe I can get to the bath house. If I can get that far—

  The footsteps paused just outside her door flap, and the silhouette against the canvas was not at all familiar. Until the man turned sideways, as if to go back the way he came.

  "Amberdrake?" she said aloud, incredulously. The man outside paused in midstep, and turned back to the doorflap. "Winterhart?" Amberdrake said cautiously. "I thought you were probably asleep."

  "I—I'm too tired to sleep, if that makes any sense," she replied, so grateful that he was here that she couldn't think of anything else. "Oh, please, come in! I was just trying to get up the energy to come visit you!"

  He pushed open the tent flap and looked down at her, sitting on her bedroll, little messenger-bird in her hands. "You got my message—" he said hesitantly.

  "Since when do friends need an appointment to talk?" she retorted, and was rewarded with his slow, grateful smile. "I had the feeling we both needed someone to talk to tonight."

  "You'll never know how much," he sighed, collapsing on the bedroll beside her.

  As she looked at him, sitting there in the shadows of the tent, and wanting nothing more than to talk, a warmth started somewhere inside her and began to spread, as if a cold place within had thawed at long last, and the warmth was reaching every part of her.

  "Would you like to start first, or may I?" he asked, courteous as always.

  He needed her! He needed her, and not the other way around! She sensed the pain inside him, an ache that was so seldom eased that he no longer expected to find relief for it. How long had he been carrying this burden of grief? Certainly longer than just today.

  "You first," she said, acting on generous impulse. "I think you must need to talk more than I do. After all, you were the one who made the long walk here."

  It was too dark to see his face, but she sensed that he was startled. "Perhaps I do...." he said, slowly.

  She put the bird on the dressing stand, and reached out and took one of his hands. It was cold; she cupped it in both of hers to warm it.

  Sharing the warmth; sometimes that's all that's needed, I think....

  Skan wheeled sideways and left an opening for Zhaneel to stoop on the pursuing makaar. The one behind him, intent upon making the Black Gryphon into shredded flesh, was a nasty, mottled deep blue, with freshly-broken horns still bleeding from colliding with another of his misshapen brethren. Skandranon acted as the lure for Zhaneel's stoops, flying against the thin clouds to show up better from the ground. The gryfalcon, high above, saw through the wispy clouds easily, and it was simplicity to time when she would fall upon the pursuing makaar.

  On time, a cracking sound followed by a descending scream marked Zhaneel's arrival behind him, and she shot past and under him at well over three times his speed. Skandranon's eyes blazed with approval, as they did every time Zhaneel fought beside him. He went into his follow-up while she arced upward to retake her position of superior altitude, higher than any makaar could fly.

  Beautiful! And it's working. She's unstoppable when she is in her element, and the new makaar are more fragile than the last breed. Two breeds since Kili... wonder if he's still alive? Tchah, next group—

  While the battle raged behind and below them, they managed to keep most of the makaar occupied so they wouldn't harry the retreat. Retreat! Another one! And I warned Urtho to fortify and trap the valley to at least slow Ma'ar's advance, but we ran too thin on time and resources. Now our troops are beating their way back from the latest rout, and the best the gryphons can do is keep the makaar busy dying. Granted, it's fun, but all in all I'd rather be fat and happy in a warm tent, feeding Zhaneel tidbits of rabbit.

  In broad daylight, the Black Gryphon wasn't the most effective at stealthiness, so he and Zhaneel had worked out this particular style of combat on the way. It had turned into a predictable pattern by now, and the new makaar had apparently figured out that it took Zhaneel a certain amount of time to regain her aerial advantage. It was no longer quite so easy to kill makaar, but at least the makaar at this battle were down to manageable numbers. There couldn't be more than thirty.

  Another flight of makaar—four, this time, in a height-staggered diamond—closed on Skandranon sooner than the previous flights had. They were going to clash with him behind Zhaneel's upward flight path, too soon for her to strike at them, but too close for Skan to make an effective stoop of his own. The result—they could chase Skan and exhaust him at their leisure, unless he slowed and fell to strike at them.

  Either result reduces my chances of survival significantly, and I am not interested in that at all. Isn't there something better yo
u could be doing, stupid gryphon? Maybe eating. Or dancing. Dancing—

  Ah! Now that is something the makaar wouldn't expect. They're counting on me speeding past them, or slowing—but if I pull up and stop, that might just break up their formation. Makaar without a formation are also known as scattered bodies. This may be fun again after all!

  So, that hertasi backspin-pointe that Poidon had shown him before the Harvest festival could finally come to some use, if his back could stand up to the deceleration. Amberdrake's Healing, coupled with Tamsin and Cinnabar's periodic care, should have his tendons and muscles in good enough shape to handle it. Since he was a broadwing, cupping enough air to stop should not be a problem, but the speed was going to be a critical factor.

  Zhaneel was about to clear the cloud layer on her upswing, but couldn't know what was going on behind her. She'd be expecting Skandranon to be in the next quarterspan, and he wouldn't be there on time; she'd stay on station until she located him. If he slowed his flight too much right now, the makaar could guess his intention and swarm him. And even if....

  You'll talk yourself out of doing anything at all, while those four uglies are debating what sauce to put on your bones! Honestly, gryphon, you should know better. Urtho's given you more than wings, you know. You have a brain to think with. That brain's learned spells, you silly side of beef, and the makaar won't be expecting that. Makaar only act on what they expect, remember? They're expecting you to be dead, dead, dead, not the proud father of little gryphlets.

  Basic dazzling should do the job, but that took a moment of time and repose—repose? Who told you that? It takes a moment of concentration, nothing more, you worrying lump. You can't do it while you're flying, but you can do it while you're falling. Falling should be in your immediate future, if you can do the backspin-pointe. You only need one calm moment.

  The makaar gained and shrieked at him, Skan recognized Kili in the lead, and that immediate future became now. Skandranon pointed his beak toward the clouds, and arched his body backward. The air rushing against his throat was nearly enough to stop the blood flow to his head, despite the cushioning effects of his feathers. Slowly and deliberately, in what seemed like years of constant effort, he changed the angle of attack of his broad wings until he kited upward. His forward speed was decreasing rapidly, and in this deadly game, speed and endurance were all that kept a flier alive.